U Turns Jokes
33 u turns jokes and hilarious u turns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about u turns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest U Turns Short Jokes
Short u turns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The u turns humour may include short left turn jokes also.
- I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered, "A, E, I, O, U...and sometimes, Y." The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"
- Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in the US? Welcome to louisiana
- Paul Pierce failed his driving test because of poor turns Apparently, the Truth can't handle the U
- Well out driving with my father we came across the sign that said U-turn okay. I told my father I thought it was a bit pretentious for a road sign to be judging people on their driving abilities.
- What sign encourages you to make a U-Turn on the highway? "You are now entering New Jersey."
- They should make U-turns have a speed limit of 69 mph... That way you have to turn around.
Share These U Turns Jokes With Friends
U Turns One Liners
Which u turns one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with u turns? I can suggest the ones about wrong turn and u haul.
- What is the sign for a U-turn in Finland? "You are approaching the Russian border."
- Why did the PI detective cross the road? He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.
- Two wrongs don't make a right, and two rights don't make a wrong. They make a U turn.
- In Canada if everyone was turned into walking letters U would be their favourite.
- Officer, I *wanted* to go straight through but the sign said 'no u turn'.
- TIFU. I was heading northbound and attempted a U-turn. Here's where things went south.
- I tried telling a traffic sign to turn. It said "No, ... U Turn"
- You know why they call it a U-Turn Because YOU-Turn
U Turns Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about u turns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean twist and turns jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make u turns pranks.
Crossword Puzzle Pope
A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from another passenger that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
"WOW, great!" he thinks, being a devout Christian, "What a good place to be today."
Just before the aircraft doors are closed the Pope enters the plane and sits next to him.
I am surely blessed the man thinks. Here I am, a good Catholic on a flight with the Pope sitting next to me.
The plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off their seat belts.
The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag to take out a crossword book. Marvelous, he thinks, not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me but he does crosswords and so do I. He notices that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that the Pope is tapping his pencil, thinking.
The Pope turns to him and says, "I usually don't talk to anyone on flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"
"Anything, your Eminence ... What is it?"
"Do you know a four letter word that ends in 'u-n-t' that means something associated with women?"
The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The only word I can think of is aunt."
The Pope looks at him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?"
Camping!
John and his girlfriend were going to go camping for the week. On his way out of the the door, John's little brother yelled, "wait for me!" John told his brother to go back inside, but his girlfriend insisted on taking him. John turned to his brother and said, "OK, but we get top bunk when we get to the cabin." His little brother agreed and they left for the campground.
When night came John, his girlfriend and his little brother went to bed. While in bed John turned to his girlfriend and said, "I'm in the mood, do u want to do it?" his girlfriend replied "your little brother is right under us, he will hear us!" John than tells her "I have an idea, when you want me to go faster, say lettuce. And when you want me to go slower, say tomato." She agreed and started doing the dirty deed. All night night John's little brother kept hearing "lettuce, lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, tomato, lettuce, lettuce!" After an hour John;s brother jumps up and screams "GUYS STOP MAKING SANDWICHES, YOU'RE GETTING MAYONNAISE ALL OVER ME!"
So a man gets on a plane...
...he finds his seat and realizes he's sitting none other than the pope. The man is Catholic and greets the pope with:
"His Holiness".
The pope welcomes him and then goes back to his crossword. The man is nervous, worrying about doing something to offend the leader of his religion. About halfway through the flight the pope leans over and asks:
"would you happen to know a 4 letter word for a girl that ends in U-N-T?"
The man almost loses it. Of course the c word jumps to the front of his mind. He pauses, turning white while searching his mind for a better word. In a flash it comes to him:
"AUNT!!!" he exclaims.
The pope responds:
"Of course! Would you happen to have an eraser?"
A third grade teacher addresses her class
..."alright class" she says, "before I let you go for spring break I want to remind you that I'm getting married this weekend and I'm no longer going to be Ms. Stevens I'm going to be Mrs. Prussy"
She writes M R S. P R U S S Y in big cursive letters on the blackboard and says "whomever remembers my new name when we come back from break gets a gold star for the day"
The ten days comes and goes and she's standing in front of her class early Monday morning and says"good morning class, I hope you all remembered that I got married over the break and my name isn't Ms. Stevens any more it's Mrs" And she writes M R S on the blackboard, turns around to a sea of blank faces.
Then one hand shoots up in the back
"oh! oh! Mrs. Crunt"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man was lying n**...
Man was lying n**... on the beach. A s**... babe starts playing
TABLA
on his butts.
Man: 'what r u doing ?'
Girl 'Playing TABLA '
Man turns other side & said,' can u play the flute '
3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".
The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly woman with a shaky voice walks into a s**... shop and asks, "Do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?", the store worker told her "Yes we do, ma'am."
She replied, "H-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
Little John and his mother were attending church
Suddenly in the middle of mass, John clenched his tummy and looks distressed
Concerned his mother asks him, " What's wrong, son?"
John replies," My tummy really hurts, I think I am going to throw up"
Since the mass was still underway, she turns to him and says , " Ok, You know where the washroom is right? Go there, and when u feel better, come back"
Little John rushes out and soon returns
His mother is perplexed because the washrooms were located on the other side of the church.
"Are you feeling better? Did you use the washroom?"
John replies, "Oh there was no need to go all the way there, there is box outside titled 'For The Sick'"
Crossword
The Pope is doing a crossword puzzle at the Vatican. He turns to the Cardinal and asks, What is a word for a woman that ends in 'u-n-t'?
The Cardinal says, Aunt.
The Pope says, Got an eraser?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man made an i**... U-turn at a red light when taking his son to school. He said, Oh no! I have made an i**... U-turn!
The son replied, It's ok, dad. The police car behind us did the same thing!