Tyson Jokes
130 tyson jokes and hilarious tyson puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tyson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tyson Short Jokes
Short tyson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tyson humour may include short moss jokes also.
- Neil Degrasse Tyson and mike tyson have something common... I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.
- Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death? As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?
- Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"
- Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate - Did you hear that Mike Tyson just got a job at Amazon? He just really wanted to be a professional boxer again.
- Neil DeGrasse Tyson is finally coming to give a lecture in my University. It's about time.
- Why is Neil Degrasse Tyson such a famous physicist?... On the day he was born he escaped a black hole...... and then he spent his life studying them.
- What does Mike Tyson, after he's finished baking, have in common with Walter White? A methy kitchen.
- I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, "Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth." He said, "Well you were mythtaken."
- ['90s] I just got a new computer. It's called "The Tyson." It comes with two bytes and no memory.
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Tyson One Liners
Which tyson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tyson? I can suggest the ones about astronomer and mike tyson.
- What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?? You gonna eat that?
- What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed Up
- Mike Tyson is SO religious That he punches people in the faith.
- What do Chris Hemsworth and Mike Tyson have in common after a workout? They're both Thor.
- What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms? Whatever you want
- What does Mike Tyson use to chat with the Pope? Faithtime
- I've found religion after meeting Mike Tyson Dude hit me right in the faith.
- Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math.
- What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad? That's methed-up!
- Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat? Because it was clothed.
- What did Mike Tyson say when I showed him my mold collection? Growth.
- What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjölnir all day? He gets thor arms!
- What does Mike Tyson say after a good workout with the Avengers? I'm Thor.
- Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer? It has two bytes and no memory
- How did Mike Tyson open the door to alcoholism? Withkey.
Mike Tyson Jokes
Here is a list of funny mike tyson jokes and even better mike tyson puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ? Because he is an x-boxer
- What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold? That's growth.
- Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, and floyd mayweather are waiting patiently for a glass of sangria. If that's not a good punchline, I don't know what is.
- What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common? They're both Christmith Thongs.
- What do you call Mike Tyson on amphetamines? Methed Up.
- How does Mike Tyson like his bath? Grilled.
- Mike Tyson and the son of Odin got into a fight. They're both thore today.
- What did Mike Tyson say to the Mind Flayers who tried to recruit him on their ship? I won't be a part of your illithid activities.
- What did Mike Tyson say about the drug problem in Michigan? This place is all methed up!
- Why did Mike Tyson cross the road? To get to the other thide
Delightful Fun Tyson Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about tyson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boxer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tyson pranks.
Today on greatest hits
Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali.
Apparantly part of a Hong Kong politician's ear was bit off.
I'm glad Mike Tyson is giving his all to these protests
A virus walks into a bar...
A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, I don't serve viruses".
The virus turns him into the kind of bartender that does.
(Heard from Neil DeGrasse Tyson on his star talk show)
Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?
Because he's an Xboxer.
what do Mike Tyson and outdoor patios have in common?
They're both roofless.
Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and Floyd Mayweather Jr in queue at the bank?
Punchline
What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?
A Puthy
Mike Tyson is hosting a spelling bee
A contestant approaches the stage and Mike says, "the word is dictate"
The contestant thinks for a second, clearly pondering the spelling of the word. "Dictate... Mike, could you please use that in a sentence?"
Mike smoothly replies, "Well of course. When I was in prison, Maurice told me that my dictate good"
Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher.
It was a weapon of math destruction.
I'm so sorry.
Why shouldn't you be concerned when your dog slobbers on your Neil Degrasse Tyson poster?
Because pet drool can't melt Neil memes.
Mike Tyson : I liked Age of Ultron but the 3D made my eye...
Thor.
What Do you Call Neil Degrasse Tyson when he pours champagne on his bare chest?
**An astro-fizzy-t**...**
Tyson Chicken Factory Farm Caught On Hidden Camera Torturing And Neglecting Animals
I guess they were caught choking the chicken?
"Alright Mike Tyson, to win $100,000 you need to name a fashion accessory and a place in Australia."
Mike Tyson: "That's easy. It's Perth!"
What was Mike Tyson's nickname in Prison?
Mr. Tyson
What does Neil Degrasse Tyson say to pickup a lady?
"Hey, would you like to get astro physical with my dark matter?"
Mike Tyson refuses to play on any Playstation...
He is an Ex-Boxer.
I swear if anyone makes fun of Mike Tyson...
I'll whoop their ath!
Did you know Neil deGrasse Tyson has a relative who lives in New Orleans?
His name is Marr deGrasse Tyson.
What if Mike Tyson could use the Force?
He'd become a kith lord
What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?
Are you Thor?
Mike Tyson caught experimenting with Methamphetamines...
He exclaims, "I was just mething around!"
A photon checks into a hotel..
The bellhop says: "Can I get your bags?"
The photon says: "that's ok, I'm traveling light"
- I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness
What did Mike Tyson say to the Death Star elevator attendant?
"Sith floor pleaths"
Can you name a grateful astronomer?
How about Neil Degracias Tyson?
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms and no legs?
Anything you want.
Mike Tyson had something to tell me...
So I lent him an ear.
What did Mike Tyson say to the drug addicts who were playing tag in his front yard?
Quit mething around.
Mike Tyson was one of the best in his career.
Yet Bill Cosby still had more knockouts.
Charlie Sheen and Mike Tyson are in a car. Who's driving?
The cop.
Way before E-Books became popular...
...Mike Tyson was already an E-Reader
What role did Mike Tyson have to play for his Christmas special?
Sani Cloth
Wife: What is ethereal?!
Me: It's what Mike Tyson has big bowl of every morning!
Former champion Mike Tyson is opening a m**... farm...
Now everyone can say they took a hit from Tyson!
Why did Mike Tyson walk out on his girlfriend?
Because she told him she wanted to become a thespian.
Mike Tyson recently recovered from a m**... overdose and was interviewed upon his exit from the hospital.
When asked about the full story, he responded with,
"I was really methed up at the time"
What's the difference between Mike Tyson with the flu, and my ex girlfriend?
At least Mike Tyson was thick.
Mike Tyson learned you'll have hits and misses but...
...just don't hit the Mrs.
"I won a math debate"
Said Mike Tyson
Which famous astrophysicist used to play sports?
Neil lacrosse Tyson
Mike Tyson went to his untrustworthy drug dealer
Dealer: I got the drugs, but have you got the money?
Mike Tyson: Yeah, but you better not be mething around
Why does Mike Tyson use an engineer's tape measure instead of a carpenter's tape measure?
Because he finds the experience much more in tenths.
What do the small grass-like substance that grows on the side of rocks and small winged insects similar to butterflies have in common?
The way Mike Tyson pronounces them.
Why did Mike Tyson break up with his girlfriend?
EARreconcilable differenceth
Why doesn't Mike Tyson play Nintendo or PS4?
Because he's an xboxer.
Mike Tyson went to the hospital to say goodbye to his now dead friend...
He was distraught but as he regained his composure he noticed a doctor in the room with him.
Mike said, Doctor, please tell me, what was the cause of death?
The puzzled doctor responded, No Sir, this man hasn't lost his hearing. He's dead.
You're crouched over mike Tyson picking grass clippings off of his body
You're doing the kneel, de-grass Tyson.
What do Mike Tyson and Jim Jones have in common?
They can both take you out with one punch.
Mike Tyson does one squat
Then the next day at work he always ends up calling in thicc.
'Everybody's a gangster until they get punched in the mouth.' - Mike Tyson
And after that, everybody's a gangthter.
Mike Tyson: How do you think the unthinkable?
Mike Tyson: With an itheberg.
How do you think the unthinkable ?
With an itheberg.
Btw.. every single person i've ever told this joke to said they didn't get it or that it wasn't funny.. why am I the w**... that finds it funny? And why am I picturing Mike Tyson?
Obv not my joke I heard it on Come Dine With Me
How do you think the unthinkable?
Mike Tyson: With an ithberg .
Why did Mike Tyson have to cancel his big fight with Chris Hemsworth?
He was Thor.
Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin decided to team up with NASA to fake the moon landing together, but to make it look as realistic as possible, they urged NASA to film on location.
Compliments of Neil De Grasse Tyson
Floyd Mayweather, Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury were waiting in a queue.
(Punchline)
What does mike Tyson wear to the dentist?
A teeth hurt
