Comical Type Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?
Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she'll know what rejection feels like
What is The Fonz's blood type?
A
What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?
First person shooter.
There are two types of people in this world.
And I hate them both.
What type of animals are put on envelopes?
Seals.
I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out.
It felt good being on the winning side for once.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE
Two Blondes are out on a hike....
....when one looks down and sees some tracks. "Hey look, deer tracks!" she exclaims. The other blond looks over and says, "Those aren't deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!" After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.
You can explore type meincraft reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean type variety dad jokes. There are also type puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
What's Autocorrect's blood type?
typo negative
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo
Yesterday my wife got stung by a bee while golfing
I asked where, and she informed me it was between the first and second holes. Being the helpful type, I advised her that her stance was too wide.
What is the one type of person that will never get angry?
A nomad.
If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type,
I'd be her type.
Erections happen all the time
A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."
They told me i had type A blood.
But it was a type O.
What blod type am I?
Type-O
I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics.
He told me I used the wrong stereo type.
What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursELF
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who thought they knew what the punchline would be, and those who are now searching for the original joke.
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?
A seasoned veteran.
What type of pants do you need to start a car?
Cargo pants
If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...
What type of sandwich would you make?
What blood type do happy people have?
B Positive.
What is h**...'s favorite type of food?
Not Seafood
I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
Which blood type was created by mistake?
Type O.
There are two types of people in this world
Those who can extrapolate information based off of the given context
Two wind turbines...
Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:
He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan"
Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]
9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.
The last time I was someone's type.
I was donating blood.
There are two types of countries,
Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
There's two types of people
Those that can deduce facts from incomplete data
What are the two types of weather in Islamic countries?
It's either Sunni or s**...'ite
Two windmills were hanging out in a field. One windmill asked the other, what type of music do you like?
The other responded, I'm a huge metal fan.
There are 2 types of people
1. Those who are worth mentioning
My friend died when he couldn't remember his blood type
He kept saying "be positive", but it's hard without him.
Two Wind turbines are in a field.
One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"
"i'm a huge metal fan"
There are 10 types of people in this world
Those who understand the ternary numeral system,
those who don't,
and those who were expecting this to be a binary joke
They say that the 10 types of people in this world are those that can read binary and those that get laid.
Can someone explain to me the other 8 types?
TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".
I guess you can call it a typo.
I'll never forget my dad's last words...
He needed a blood transfusion but we didn't know his blood type... he kept telling me to "be positive", but it's really hard without him...
What are a kidnappers favorite type of shoes?
White Vans.
My grandfather died because the medical report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
I used to think all black people had boomboxes
then I realized that was just a stereo type
What's my blod type?
Typo
My dad died this day last year because we didn't know his blood type to get a transfusion..
As he was dying he kept saying be positive but it was just so hard without him :/
I invented a new type of car...
Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"
My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"
Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."
I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she'll know what rejection feels like...
Why do Women and Children evacuate first during any type of disaster
So men can think of solutions in silence
A doctor flirted with me today, she said I was really sweet!
I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too
A priest, an atheist, and a rabbit walk into a blood donor tent
The rabbit says "I might be a type O"
Why don't vampires use autocorrect?
Because they love Type Os
What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?
HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
It's my cake day humour me.
A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood
The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
A pig walks into a bar and orders ten beers.
As soon as the pig is finished drinking the beers, he pays the bartender and starts to leave the bar.
"Wait!" says the bartender. "You drank so much beer. Wouldn't it be wise to use the bathroom before leaving?"
"Not for me," says the pig. "I'm the type of pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home."
There are two types of people I hate.
1. Racists
2. The French
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type
As he died, he kept insisting be positive , but it's hard without him.
There are two types of people in this world:
Those who can infer from insufficient information,
A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career
He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."
What type of tree does a Satanist get for Christmas?
A Lucy Fir
There are two types of people in this world: One, who can extrapolate from incomplete data,
Two.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.
As he died, he kept insisting for us to be positive, but it's hard without him.
I donate my O- blood as often as allowed, but I don't do it to help others.
The blood donation center is just the only place I can go where I'm everyone's type.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a blood donation clinic
The nurse asked the rabbit, What's your blood type?
I'm probably a type-O said the rabbit.
My favorite type of bra
is algebra.
A priest, a lawyer, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank...
... and the nurse asks, "what types are you?"
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O."
What type of earrings does a basketball wear?
Hoops
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank..
The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type o."
Scientists have discovered a new type of polar bear. It can live in both the North and South poles, is prone to extreme mood swings and has shown interest in other bears of both genders.
It's a bi-polar bipolar bi polar bear
I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass.
After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles.
After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass...
A rabbit, an imam, and a priest walk into a blood test centre.
A nurse approaches the rabbit and asks, Do you know what blood type you are? The rabbit responds with: I think I might be a Type-O.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to deliver blood.
The priest says- I'm a type A
The minister says- I'm a type B
The rabbit says- I think I'm a typo
My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type.
As she died, she kept telling us to be positive, but it's hard without her.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit go to donate blood at their local bloodbank.
When the arrive they are asked what bloodtypes they have.
The priest thinks and says I believe I am a type A positive
The minister says I'm quite certain I'm a type B negative
The rabbit tugs on his beard and thoughtfully says I think I'm a type O
I asked old Maud how she lost her husband. She told me her sad story…
"Well, he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was, as they urgently needed to know, in order to save my Norman's life.
Tragically, I've never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye.
I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was.
Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!"
That was my Norman! Always thinking of others."
What type of doctor treats transgender men?
A guynowcologist.
There are two type of countries.
Those that use the metric system and those that have been to the moon and have recreated nuclear fusion.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women
He said the ATM outside
There are 10 types of people in the world
The ones who understand binary and the ones who don't. And apparently eight more the guy wouldn't tell me about. Smug git
There are 3 types of people in the world; those who are good at math...
And those who aren't.
What do you call someone with both Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes
Ambidextrose
There are only 10 types of people
- Those that understand binary
- Those that don't understand binary
Doctor: I think the patient is dying. What's his blood type?
Nurse: B positive.
Doctor: Okay. I think the patient is going to make it.
What type of car does a Mandalorian buy from the used car lot?
The Best Car.
What's Jesus' Myers-Briggs personality type?
INRI
Which type of birds always stick together ?
Velcrows
What is the most dangerous type of canoes?
Volcanoes
Four Catholic women are talking about their sons while having coffee together
The first woman says My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Father.'
The second says My sons is a bishop. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Grace.'
The third says My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth just quietly sips her coffee, and the other three give her a well, what about you? type look.
The fourth woman finally says My son is a handsome, 7-foot-tall firefighter. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Oh. My. God.'
What type of music does Santa's elves listen to while working?
Rap music.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAND EYEEEEEEEEEE
What type of flour do orphans use for baking?
Self-raising flour.
