Type Jokes

What are some Type jokes?

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like

I used to think all black people had boomboxes

then I realized that was just a stereo type

My grandfather died because the medical report said he had Type A blood.

Unfortunately it was a Type-O.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she should understand what rejection feels like.

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE

If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...

What type of sandwich would you make?

What are a kidnappers favorite type of shoes?

White Vans.

What is the one type of person that will never get angry?

A nomad.

Yesterday my wife got stung by a bee while golfing

I asked where, and she informed me it was between the first and second holes. Being the helpful type, I advised her that her stance was too wide.

If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type,

I'd be her type.

Two Blondes are out on a hike....

....when one looks down and sees some tracks. "Hey look, deer tracks!" she exclaims. The other blond looks over and says, "Those aren't deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!" After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

My friend died when he couldn't remember his blood type

He kept saying "be positive", but it's hard without him.

I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out.

It felt good being on the winning side for once.

The last time I was someone's type.

I was donating blood.

What's the rudest type of Elf?

The GofuckyoursELF

What's Autocorrect's blood type?

typo negative

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"


My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"


Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

Two wind turbines...

Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:

He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan"

TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

Erections happen all the time

A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who thought they knew what the punchline would be, and those who are now searching for the original joke.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?

White vans.

There are 2 types of people

1. Those who are worth mentioning

What blood type do happy people have?

B Positive.

What's my blod type?

Typo

What type of fuel do painters prefer?

Whatever makes the van gogh..


-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as stupid as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.

There are two types of countries,

Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.

What is The Fonz's blood type?

A

What blod type am I?

Type-O

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade

What type of blood does a keyboard have?

Typo

Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]

9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.

They told me i had type A blood.

But it was a type O.

Two Wind turbines are in a field.

One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"

"i'm a huge metal fan"

They say that the 10 types of people in this world are those that can read binary and those that get laid.

Can someone explain to me the other 8 types?

There's two types of people

Those that can deduce facts from incomplete data

I'll never forget my dad's last words...

He needed a blood transfusion but we didn't know his blood type... he kept telling me to "be positive", but it's really hard without him...

There are two types of people in this world.

And I hate them both.

Which blood type was created by mistake?

Type O.

I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics.

He told me I used the wrong stereo type.

What is Hitler's favorite type of food?

Not Seafood

My favorite one liner. I've only told it out loud so I figured I'd type it type it vaguely.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see youre nuts"

There are 10 types of people in this world

Those who understand the ternary numeral system,
those who don't,
and those who were expecting this to be a binary joke

What type of animals are put on envelopes?

Seals.

Two windmills were hanging out in a field. One windmill asked the other, what type of music do you like?

The other responded, I'm a huge metal fan.

My dad died this day last year because we didn't know his blood type to get a transfusion..

As he was dying he kept saying be positive but it was just so hard without him :/

There are two types of people in this world

Those who can extrapolate information based off of the given context

What are the two types of weather in Islamic countries?

It's either Sunni or Shi'ite

What type of pants do you need to start a car?

Cargo pants

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands.

There is no cure.

In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.

As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"

Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.

When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?

When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.

There are 2 types of people in this world

Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data

Please don't type Part A backwards

It's a trap!

There are 11 types of people

01- Those who understand binary

10- Those who don't

11- those who write bad jokes on binary

*I'll see myself out*

A new type of broom has just been released,

It is sweeping the nation.

There's now a morning after pill for guys.

It changes your blood type.

What's the worst type of tree to give as a wedding gift?

An adult tree

I have a job helping a one armed man type capitals.

It's shift work.

Ternary joke

There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a ternary joke.

What is a bad speller's blood type?

Typo

What type of car did Yoda eat?

A BMW i8

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.

Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.

Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.

At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices

Mexican: Judono

Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?

Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

My 8-Year old patient was so pround, mom was not.

Q: What type of bees make milk?

A: BOO-Bees!

And then he just couldn't stop laughing. Mom turned 50 shades of red and blamed dad. Good times.

My uncle died yesterday because we didn't know what blood type he was...

He kept saying B positive, but it'll be really hard without him.

My dad died because we couldn't remember his blood type in time give him a transfusion

As he died he kept telling us to "be positive" but it's hard without him.

What type of key opens a banana?

A Monkey :3

Bathroom humour is not my favorite type of humour...

but it's a solid #2.

I was going to type up this joke about pregnancy

but I realized it was all about the delivery

What's the best type of shot for an anti-vaxxer?

A 9mm.

What type of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

There are two types of countries in the world....

Those who use the Metric System....

And those who have been to the Moon.

Do you know what the new type of clickbait is?

You do now.

A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study.

He sees a sign indicating the nationality of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for an Americans brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for a Japaneese brain?"

"ten dollars an ounce."

"How much for a Frenchmen's brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is a Frenchmen's brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many French men we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"

What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?

A convertible.

Two windmills are in a field.

One turns to the other and asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

"I'm a big metal fan" the other one replies.

Today I decided to donate blood...

After the procedure I asked the nurse what my blood type was out of curiosity. She told me I was type A so I thanked her and left. As I was walking out the door she came sprinting after me and said Wait, I told you the wrong blood type on accident, it was a type O.

A husband, so proud...

....of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of 6" rather than by her first name. The wife was amused at first.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of 6, get me a beer!" This type of situation rose to a boiling point.
Finally, while at a party with her husband, he jokingly said, "Hey mother of 6, it's time to go!"
The wife shouted, "I'll be right with you - father of 4!"
[found this scrolling through YouTube Comments]

Jesus vs Satan

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

what type of music does a balloon hate?

Pop music

The most common type of web developers are not even human

they are spiders

So there's this man with a parrot.

And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.

The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.

For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.

At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.

Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

How to make Type jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Type to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Type? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Type pick up lines to share with friends.

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