The Best 67 Two Whales Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Two Whales jokes. There are some two whales fours jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these two whales scotland puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Two Whales Jokes and Puns

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.



So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!"

So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

End on story

Two whales walk into a bar.

"AAAAOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOAAAAAA, AOUUUUUUAAAA OOOOO," says the first whale.

The second whale replies, "Shut up, Steve, you're drunk."

Two whales

Under the ocean there were these two whales. One whale walks up to another and says "OOOoooOOOOooooooOOOoooOooooooooooOOOOoOOoOOoooooohhhhh!"
And the other whale says Steve, dude, you are so drunk.

Two Whales joke, Two whales

I was in a pub...

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

...And that's the last thing I remember

So I was at the bar the other day, and I heard these two kind of hefty women talking to each other in a funny accent. So I go up to them and say, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them turns to me and says, "Wales you idiot!" I say, "Oh sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"


Two whales are swimming in the ocean. One whale opens his mouth and says "BEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUUGAA BOOOOOOUUUUAAAAAAAAEEEOOOOH"

The other whale turns to him and says "Dude you are so drunk."

So there were two larger girls at the bar...

I went to the bar and overheard two heavy girls talking with an odd accent.

I asked them, 'Are you two ladies from Scotland?'

One turned to me and said, 'It's Wales, you idiot!'

'Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?'

Two Whales joke, So there were two larger girls at the bar...

A man walks into a pub in London

After a few drinks he notices two very large women with thick accents sitting by the bar.
So he asks, "Hey, are you ladies from Scottland?"
One of them replies, "It's WALES, you IDIOT!"
He immediately apologizes, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scottland?"

An American visiting the U.K .......

has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn't help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland?
They sneer at him and the one says it's Wales!
So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?

A man was drinking in a British pub

...when he noticed two very large women with strong accents. "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" he asked.

"It's Wales, you idiot" one answered.

"I'm sorry" the man replied. "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

Worst Joke Ever

Two whales are sitting in a bar and one whale says "eeeyyoooo eeeeyyy yyeeooo oooyyy ooeeeee" and the other whale says "Shut up Steve, you're drunk."

You can explore two whales women reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean two whales bar dad jokes. There are also two whales puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


2 Big Old Gals Were Sitting In A Bar

A man heard them talking and noticed a foreign accent. He asked "are you ladies from Ireland?"

"WALES!!" they both replied

"Oh I'm so sorry!.... Are you two Whales from Ireland???"

Two whales are swimming along...

One whale turns his friend and says "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHWEEEEEEEOOOOOIRRRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOIIIIEEEEEEAWWWWWWHHHHOOOOOO"

The second whale says "Dude, you need to stop doing so much heroin."

So a tourist walks into an English pub...

A tourist walks into an English pub. While he is waiting for his beer, he notices to rather big women next to him talk in a strange accent. He walks up to them and says:

"Excuse me, I can't quite put my finger on your accent -- are you two ladies from Ireland?"

They get outraged and snap back:
"It's Wales, you idiot!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"

I was in a bar when...

I was in a bar in London throwing back brewski's when these two larger women walked in. They both had strong accents so I asked.

*"Are you two ladies from Scotland?"*

One of the ladies turned to me and said,

*"It's Wales you idiot"*

I must've been so drunk that I didn't notice so, I immediately apologized and said,

*"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"*

Don't remember much else.

I noticed two large woman by the bar yesterday...

... They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Australia?"

One of them screamed back at me, "It's Wales you stupid IDIOT!

So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Australia?"

Two Whales joke, I noticed two large woman by the bar yesterday...

A man walks into a bar and notices two fat women.

They had obviously been drinking a lot, and were speaking loudly with heavy accents. After an hour he becomes annoyed with the noise, walks over to them and asks, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you two ladies from Scotland?"

"Wales, you idiot!", shouts the fattest one.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Scotland?"

Two whales walk into a bar...

The first whale says oooOOOOoOooOOoOoooOOOOoOoOOOooooOo

The second whale says: "Karl you're drunk!"

How do you get two whales in a Mini Cooper?

Take the M4, across the Severn Bridge.


And so you came to be.

Two whales are talking. A dad and his boy. The kid asks: Where did I come from? did you make me? - Yes I did! The father said. Wow, that's so cool! Thank You dad! - You're whalecum son.

So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me.

I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"

One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"

I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"

2 Big Ladies

So two large ladies with heavy accents walk into a local pub, the guy next to them asked, "Are you two ladies from Scotland?" and they screamed, "WALES!" and then the guy said, "Sorry my bad, are you two whales from Scotland?"

A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...

and says to them:

"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"

Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"

Grandpa's joke last night.

Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.
The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."
The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"

Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were in my younger brothers school for a basketball game and everyone was in earshot.

So I was at this little pub in Great Britain.....

I notice these two women, both cute but a bit chubby.
I approached the girls and asked "Are you two ladies from Scotland"?, to which the heftier one replied "It's Wales you idiot"!
Taken a bit aback by this, I replied "Oh, sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland"?

A pirate crew is fleeing from a whaling ship

One pirate swabbie asks, "This be the whaling ship driven by the wench with two vaginas?"

The pirate says, "Aye, we best be wary of har poons."

Girls from England?

A guy walks into a bar and hears two women speaking in a British accent. He asks, "Are you ladies from England?" One says to him "No, it's Wales, you idiot!" So, then the guy says, "Okay, sorry. So, are you two whales from England?"

I was at the pub the other day, when 2 fat chicks walk in and sit next to me

Thought of being polite, I said 'Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?'

One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said 'it's Wales you idiot'

So I immediately said 'Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?'

Long story short, anyone know how to deal with black eyes fast?

Two whales walk into a bar

The first one goes to the barman and says:
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOoOooOOoOoooooOOOOOOOoOOooooOoOoOOoOooOoOOoOOooooooooOOOOOOOoOOOoOOo"

The second one turns to the first and says, "shut up Frank, you're drunk."

Sitting in a Bar.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?

One of them snarled at me, It's Wales, dumbo!

So I corrected myself, Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?

That's about as far as I remember.

Two whales are sitting in a bar...

The first whales says, "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhrrroooooooooooooohhmmmm"

The second whale says, "you're drunk!"

Recycling is important...

I went to the bar last night. I saw two rather large ladies having a great time. They seemed to be speaking in an Irish accent. I sauntered over and asked them

"Are you ladies from Ireland?"

They responded, "It's Wales, you idiot!"

I apologized immediately and said
"Are you whales from Ireland?" I don't remember much after that.

I woke up as a marine biologist!

I met 2 large ladies at the bar.

I noticed they had heavy accents, so I ask are you two ladies Irish? and they said it's wales you idiot, so just to be nice I said are you two whales Irish?

An Englishman walks into a pub in London

As he approaches the bar he hears two women speaking with heavy accents.

"Are you ladies from Scotland?" He asks.

"It's Wales, actually!" One of the woman replies.

"Sorry." says the man "Are you whales from Scotland?"

Two whales walk into a bar....

The first one says: "AOOOOOUUUUUOOOUUUUGGGAAAAUUUOOOOOOOOOOAAAAGOOOOGGGGUUUUUAAAAAAAAA"

The second one says: " Go home steve, your drunk

There is two whales sitting at a bar

One of the whales says
*whale noise*"ouwwhhiouuhiuwwhoo"

The other whale says
"Frank, you are drunk!"

A man was sitting in a bar...

A man was sitting in a bar when he noticed two ladies speaking in an English accent across from him. He went to them and asked:
"Are you ladies from England?"
The ladies said "It's wales you idiot"
The man goes "Sorry. Are you two whales from England?"

Two whales walk into a bar. One goes 'eeeeoouuwwwwweewew!'

The other goes 'Fred, you're drunk.'

Two fat ladies walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

I was at the bar the other night with my buddy having some beers.....

We had been there a while when two large girls came up to the bar and ordered some drinks. I noticed when they ordered they both had strong accents so I said 'Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?' One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said 'it's WALES you idiot!!!'

So I immediately said 'Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?'

The Whale Joke

Two whales are on a road trip, and they decide to stop at a gas station to get some snacks.

So they go into the candy aisle,

And they pass the snickers,

They pass the kitkats

The skittles,

The starburst,

The airheads,

The milky ways,

And finally they see the m&ms.

And one whale says to the other:

Waoaoaooaooaooaoaowwwoaoaw

And the other whale says:

Waoaoaoaoaoaoaaaaooaoaoaawwww

Three whales fall from the sky. Two hit the beach, then the last lands in the water...

BA-DUM PSSHHH

Two whales drinking in a bar

One turns to the other and says "Yewwwwwoooooooooooowwwwwahhhhhmmmmmmm". The other whale says "Geez Bob, you sure are hammered".

A man walks into a bar...

...and sees two obese women having a conversation. He walks up to them and notices they have an accent. He says, "hello ladies, I like your accent is it from Scotland?" One of the women replies, "It's Wales you idiot." The man says to the women, " I'm sorry, hello whales, is your accent from Scotland?"

Two whales are in a bar

One whale says too the other "waoooaoooooooaoooowuooooooooooooooowaooooooouooooooooooooooooowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooowooooooooooaoaooaoooooooooooouoooooooooooooooooooowoowoooooooooooooooaoaooooooowuaoooooooooooowu."

Then the second whale says
"Go home Steve you're drunk."

A man walks into a pub in Wales....

And sees two overweight women sitting at the bar. He approaches them, and asks Are you two girls from Britain? . To this, one of the women reply sternly It's Wales you idiot! . So, the man excuses himself, and asks them again: Sorry, are you two whales from Britain?

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive west.

Two whales walk into a bar.

They approach the bartender and the first says "WAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOHHHHOOAAAAAUAUUUAUAAAAUAAUUUUAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU."

The second whale turns to him and says, "Frank, you're drunk."

I approach two fat ladies in england, asking them a question

"Excuse me, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

"It's Wales, you idiot!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"

A North American arrives in the UK on vacation and needs directions.

Two plus size women with accents are walking by. The Foreigner says excuse me. Do you two gals happen to be from England . One of the women replies No idiot. Wales!!!!

The Foreigner is taken aback. I'm sorry, let me start over he says. Excuse me. Do you two whales happen to be from England?

There were two whales at a bar.

The first whale says to the second (make whale noises until everyone is a little uncomfortable).

Then the second whale says back to the first (inhale sharply), "Go home Frank. You're drunk."

A guy walk up to a bar with two women

A guy walk up to a bar with two women and says "you ladies from Scotland?

They give him a dirty look and say "Wales"

"Oh I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

So I'm in a bar and two large women with accents walk in and sit down.

I look over to them and say: "hey ladies, nice accents. Are you from Scotland?"

One of the ladies yells: "it's Wales, you idiot!!"

So I said: "Ok, that's cool. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

I don't remember much else.

Man: Are you two girls from England? Girl : Wales you idiot!

Man: Sorry, are you two whales from England?

Three whales fall out of the sky. Two hit land, one hits water.

Buh Dum Tss

Two whales are walking out of a bar

One looks at the other and says,

"WWWWUUUUUAAAAAAAAGHHH"

The other one says,

"Give me the keys, I'm driving tonight"

Two whales sitting in a bar

One says to the other "oooooooaaaaauuuuyyaaaooooouuuiaaaaaoooeeeee"
The other replies "you're drunk Jeremy"

Two Whales are sitting at a bar

The first whale says "WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWOWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOO."

The second whale says "Go home Steve your Drunk".



."

"Dad, can you help me with my homework?"

"Sure son"

"What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?"

"3 whales and two dolphins"

"Thanks dad"

"Anytime"

Two whales go to a bar

One whale says uuooooEEEAAAOUUUUUUEEEEEEUUUOOOOOOIUUUUUUOOO

The other says Go home Steve. You're drunk.

Two whales are swimming along in the ocean...

When one whale spots a fishing boat. So he says to the other whale "Hey, that is the boat that harpooned Frank, we should get back at them"

The other whale says "Oh yeah? What should we do?"

"I say we both go under their boat, and blow our blowholes as hard as we can, that will knock over their boat!" And so both whales went under the boat, and with a powerful blast they were able to capsize the boat and send all the sailors into the water.

The first whale then says "Now that they are all in the water, I say we eat them!"

And the second whale replies "Woah, woah, woah. I was all for the blow job but I won't swallow any seamen".

Two whales are sitting at a bar

The first whale says: "eeeeeooooooohhhhhh mmmmmmuhuuuuuuaaaa clck clck clck clck AAAAuuuuuUuuuuuh!!!"

And the second whale replies back: "dude you are WASTED I hope you didn't drive here"

A Canadian walks into a bar

A Canadian walks into a bar and sees two large ladies. He asks, "are you two ladies from Scotland?"
The ladies, furious, reply, "Wales! Wales!"
The man turns back, "I apologise. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

A nurse at the hospital asked me if I remembered what happened to me the night before

I told her I was in a bar when two large ladies came in speaking a strange accent.

Making casual conversation I said Cool accent! Are you two ladies from Ireland?

One of them snarled at me It's Wales, dumbo

So I corrected myself Oh right, so are you two whales from Ireland?

That's as far as I remember.

Misinterpretation

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar.Β  They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?"

One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES , you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland ?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

Two whales are sitting and drinking together at a bar. The first whale says "Eeeeoooooaaaaaaaeeeeeeuuuuuooooooaaaaaauuuuueeeeee"

The second whale says

"Dave, go home. You're drunk."

I was sitting in a bar one day and two women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"

So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's about as far as I remember.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the two whales idiot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working two whales thing piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes