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Two Whales Jokes

76 two whales jokes and hilarious two whales puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about two whales that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Two Whales Short Jokes

Short two whales jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The two whales humour may include short whales dolphins jokes also.

  1. Two whales walk into a bar. "AAAAOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOAAAAAA, AOUUUUUUAAAA OOOOO," says the first whale.
    The second whale replies, "Shut up, Steve, you're drunk."
  2. I approach two fat ladies in england, asking them a question "Excuse me, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
    "It's Wales, you idiot!"
    "Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
  3. Two whales sitting in a bar One says to the other "oooooooaaaaauuuuyyaaaooooouuuiaaaaaoooeeeee"
    The other replies "you're drunk Jeremy"
  4. Two whales are sitting and drinking together at a bar. The first whale says "Eeeeoooooaaaaaaaeeeeeeuuuuuooooooaaaaaauuuuueeeeee" The second whale says
    "Dave, go home. You're drunk."
  5. Two whales are swimming in the ocean. One whale opens his mouth and says "BEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUUGAA BOOOOOOUUUUAAAAAAAAEEEOOOOH" The other whale turns to him and says "Dude you are so drunk."
  6. "Dad, can you help me with my homework?" "Sure son"
    "What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?"
    "3 whales and two dolphins"
    "Thanks dad"
    "Anytime"
  7. Two whales walk into a bar.... The first one says: "AOOOOOUUUUUOOOUUUUGGGAAAAUUUOOOOOOOOOOAAAAGOOOOGGGGUUUUUAAAAAAAAA"
    The second one says: " Go home steve, your drunk
  8. Two whales are in a bar. Whale one: OOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOO
    Whale two: Go home Frank. You're drunk.
  9. Worst Joke Ever Two whales are sitting in a bar and one whale says "eeeyyoooo eeeeyyy yyeeooo oooyyy ooeeeee" and the other whale says "Shut up Steve, you're drunk."
  10. Two whales walk into a bar... The first whale says oooOOOOoOooOOoOoooOOOOoOoOOOooooOo
    The second whale says: "Karl you're drunk!"

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Two Whales One Liners

Which two whales one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with two whales? I can suggest the ones about whale and whale dolphin.

  1. How do you make a whale float? Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.
  2. How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
  3. How do you get two whales in a Mini Cooper? Take the M4, across the Severn Bridge.
  4. Three whales fall out of the sky. Two hit land, one hits water. Buh Dum Tss
  5. How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4
  6. Two whales walk into a bar One goes braarar the other one says go home Dave your drunk

Two Whales joke, Two whales walk into a bar

Cheeky Two Whales Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about two whales you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean killer whale jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make two whales pranks.

Two whales

Under the ocean there were these two whales. One whale walks up to another and says "OOOoooOOOOooooooOOOoooOooooooooooOOOOoOOoOOoooooohhhhh!"
And the other whale says Steve, dude, you are so drunk.

I was in a pub...

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

...And that's the last thing I remember

So I was at the bar the other day, and I heard these two kind of hefty women talking to each other in a funny accent. So I go up to them and say, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them turns to me and says, "Wales you idiot!" I say, "Oh sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

So there were two larger girls at the bar...

I went to the bar and overheard two heavy girls talking with an odd accent.
I asked them, 'Are you two ladies from Scotland?'
One turned to me and said, 'It's Wales, you idiot!'
'Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?'

An American visiting the U.K .......

has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn't help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland?
They sneer at him and the one says it's Wales!
So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?

A man was drinking in a British pub

...when he noticed two very large women with strong accents. "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" he asked.
"It's Wales, you idiot" one answered.
"I'm sorry" the man replied. "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

2 Big Old Gals Were Sitting In A Bar

A man heard them talking and noticed a foreign accent. He asked "are you ladies from Ireland?"
"WALES!!" they both replied
"Oh I'm so sorry!.... Are you two Whales from Ireland???"

So a tourist walks into an English pub...

A tourist walks into an English pub. While he is waiting for his beer, he notices to rather big women next to him talk in a strange accent. He walks up to them and says:
"Excuse me, I can't quite put my finger on your accent -- are you two ladies from Ireland?"
They get outraged and snap back:
"It's Wales, you idiot!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"

I was in a bar when...

I was in a bar in London throwing back brewski's when these two larger women walked in. They both had strong accents so I asked.
*"Are you two ladies from Scotland?"*
One of the ladies turned to me and said,
*"It's Wales you idiot"*
I must've been so drunk that I didn't notice so, I immediately apologized and said,
*"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"*
Don't remember much else.

I noticed two large woman by the bar yesterday...

... They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Australia?"
One of them screamed back at me, "It's Wales you s**... IDIOT!
So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Australia?"

A man walks into a bar and notices two fat women.

They had obviously been drinking a lot, and were speaking loudly with heavy accents. After an hour he becomes annoyed with the noise, walks over to them and asks, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you two ladies from Scotland?"
"Wales, you idiot!", shouts the fattest one.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Scotland?"

And so you came to be.

Two whales are talking. A dad and his boy. The kid asks: Where did I come from? did you make me? - Yes I did! The father said. Wow, that's so cool! Thank You dad! - You're whalecum son.

So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me.

I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"
One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"
I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"

2 Big Ladies

So two large ladies with heavy accents walk into a local pub, the guy next to them asked, "Are you two ladies from Scotland?" and they screamed, "WALES!" and then the guy said, "Sorry my bad, are you two whales from Scotland?"

A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...

and says to them:
"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"
Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"

Grandpa's joke last night.

Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.
The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."
The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"
Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were in my younger brothers school for a basketball game and everyone was in earshot.

So I was at this little pub in Great Britain.....

I notice these two women, both cute but a bit chubby.
I approached the girls and asked "Are you two ladies from Scotland"?, to which the heftier one replied "It's Wales you idiot"!
Taken a bit aback by this, I replied "Oh, sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland"?

A pirate crew is fleeing from a whaling ship

One pirate swabbie asks, "This be the whaling ship driven by the w**... with two vaginas?"
The pirate says, "Aye, we best be wary of har poons."

Girls from England?

A guy walks into a bar and hears two women speaking in a British accent. He asks, "Are you ladies from England?" One says to him "No, it's Wales, you idiot!" So, then the guy says, "Okay, sorry. So, are you two whales from England?"

I was at the pub the other day, when 2 fat chicks walk in and sit next to me

Thought of being polite, I said 'Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?'
One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said 'it's Wales you idiot'
So I immediately said 'Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?'
Long story short, anyone know how to deal with black eyes fast?

Two whales walk into a bar

The first one goes to the barman and says:
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOoOooOOoOoooooOOOOOOOoOOooooOoOoOOoOooOoOOoOOooooooooOOOOOOOoOOOoOOo"
The second one turns to the first and says, "shut up Frank, you're drunk."

Sitting in a Bar.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?
One of them snarled at me, It's Wales, dumbo!
So I corrected myself, Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?
That's about as far as I remember.

Recycling is important...

I went to the bar last night. I saw two rather large ladies having a great time. They seemed to be speaking in an Irish accent. I sauntered over and asked them
"Are you ladies from Ireland?"
They responded, "It's Wales, you idiot!"
I apologized immediately and said
"Are you whales from Ireland?" I don't remember much after that.
I woke up as a marine biologist!

An Englishman walks into a pub in London

As he approaches the bar he hears two women speaking with heavy accents.
"Are you ladies from Scotland?" He asks.
"It's Wales, actually!" One of the woman replies.
"Sorry." says the man "Are you whales from Scotland?"

There is two whales sitting at a bar

One of the whales says
*whale noise*"ouwwhhiouuhiuwwhoo"
The other whale says
"Frank, you are drunk!"

A man was sitting in a bar...

A man was sitting in a bar when he noticed two ladies speaking in an English accent across from him. He went to them and asked:
"Are you ladies from England?"
The ladies said "It's wales you idiot"
The man goes "Sorry. Are you two whales from England?"

Two whales walk into a bar. One goes 'eeeeoouuwwwwweewew!'

The other goes 'Fred, you're drunk.'

Two fat ladies walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

I was at the bar the other night with my buddy having some beers.....

We had been there a while when two large girls came up to the bar and ordered some drinks. I noticed when they ordered they both had strong accents so I said 'Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?' One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said 'it's WALES you idiot!!!'
So I immediately said 'Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?'

The Whale Joke

Two whales are on a road trip, and they decide to stop at a gas station to get some snacks.
So they go into the candy aisle,

And they pass the snickers,
They pass the kitkats
The skittles,
The starburst,
The airheads,
The milky ways,
And finally they see the m&ms.
And one whale says to the other:
Waoaoaooaooaooaoaowwwoaoaw
And the other whale says:
Waoaoaoaoaoaoaaaaooaoaoaawwww

Three whales fall from the sky. Two hit the beach, then the last lands in the water...

BA-DUM PSSHHH

Two whales drinking in a bar

One turns to the other and says "Yewwwwwoooooooooooowwwwwahhhhhmmmmmmm". The other whale says "Geez Bob, you sure are hammered".

A man walks into a bar...

...and sees two obese women having a conversation. He walks up to them and notices they have an accent. He says, "hello ladies, I like your accent is it from Scotland?" One of the women replies, "It's Wales you idiot." The man says to the women, " I'm sorry, hello whales, is your accent from Scotland?"

Two whales are in a bar

One whale says too the other "waoooaoooooooaoooowuooooooooooooooowaooooooouooooooooooooooooowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooowooooooooooaoaooaoooooooooooouoooooooooooooooooooowoowoooooooooooooooaoaooooooowuaoooooooooooowu."
Then the second whale says
"Go home Steve you're drunk."

A man walks into a pub in Wales....

And sees two overweight women sitting at the bar. He approaches them, and asks Are you two girls from Britain? . To this, one of the women reply sternly It's Wales you idiot! . So, the man excuses himself, and asks them again: Sorry, are you two whales from Britain?

Two whales walk into a bar.

They approach the bartender and the first says "WAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOHHHHOOAAAAAUAUUUAUAAAAUAAUUUUAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU."
The second whale turns to him and says, "Frank, you're drunk."

A North American arrives in the UK on vacation and needs directions.

Two plus size women with accents are walking by. The Foreigner says excuse me. Do you two gals happen to be from England . One of the women replies No idiot. Wales!!!!
The Foreigner is taken aback. I'm sorry, let me start over he says. Excuse me. Do you two whales happen to be from England?

There were two whales at a bar.

The first whale says to the second (make whale noises until everyone is a little uncomfortable).
Then the second whale says back to the first (inhale sharply), "Go home Frank. You're drunk."

A guy walk up to a bar with two women

A guy walk up to a bar with two women and says "you ladies from Scotland?
They give him a dirty look and say "Wales"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

So I'm in a bar and two large women with accents walk in and sit down.

I look over to them and say: "hey ladies, nice accents. Are you from Scotland?"
One of the ladies yells: "it's Wales, you idiot!!"
So I said: "Ok, that's cool. Are you two whales from Scotland?"
I don't remember much else.

Man: Are you two girls from England? Girl : Wales you idiot!

Man: Sorry, are you two whales from England?

Two Whales are sitting at a bar

The first whale says "WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWOWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOO."
The second whale says "Go home Steve your Drunk".

."

Two whales go to a bar

One whale says uuooooEEEAAAOUUUUUUEEEEEEUUUOOOOOOIUUUUUUOOO
The other says Go home Steve. You're drunk.

Two whales are swimming along in the ocean...

When one whale spots a fishing boat. So he says to the other whale "Hey, that is the boat that harpooned Frank, we should get back at them"
The other whale says "Oh yeah? What should we do?"
"I say we both go under their boat, and blow our blowholes as hard as we can, that will knock over their boat!" And so both whales went under the boat, and with a powerful blast they were able to capsize the boat and send all the sailors into the water.
The first whale then says "Now that they are all in the water, I say we eat them!"
And the second whale replies "Woah, woah, woah. I was all for the b**... but I won't s**... any s**...".

Two whales are sitting at a bar

The first whale says: "eeeeeooooooohhhhhh mmmmmmuhuuuuuuaaaa clck clck clck clck AAAAuuuuuUuuuuuh!!!"
And the second whale replies back: "dude you are WASTED I hope you didn't drive here"

A Canadian walks into a bar

A Canadian walks into a bar and sees two large ladies. He asks, "are you two ladies from Scotland?"
The ladies, furious, reply, "Wales! Wales!"
The man turns back, "I apologise. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

A nurse at the hospital asked me if I remembered what happened to me the night before

I told her I was in a bar when two large ladies came in speaking a strange accent.
Making casual conversation I said Cool accent! Are you two ladies from Ireland?
One of them snarled at me It's Wales, dumbo
So I corrected myself Oh right, so are you two whales from Ireland?
That's as far as I remember.

Misinterpretation

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar.  They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?"
One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES , you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland ?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

I was sitting in a bar one day and two women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.

at the bar…

MAN: Hello ladies, love your English accents…
WOMAN 1: They're Welsh accents.
MAN: Well, may I buy you Welshland ladies a drink?
WOMAN 2: It's *Wales*, you idiot!
MAN: Sorry, may I buy you two *whales* a drink?

Two scottish girls

Two girls speaking in what sounded like a lovely Scottish accent.
Bartender said: So, are you two girls from Scotland?
One of them said: "Wales Idiot!"
"Oh, I am terribly sorry about that", says the bartender
"So, are you two Whales from Scotland?"

A cop walks over to a bruised and beaten man outside of a pub.

He asks the man what happened and the man tells him this; "So I walk into the pub and sit down and as im waiting for my drink I overhear two large women talking with a strange accent. So I ask them 'Are you two ladies from Ireland?' One of them scoffs and tells me "it's Wales d**...." So I ask again 'are you two whales from Ireland?' And thats about all I can remember."

A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents.

A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents. He approaches them and says, "By any chance, are you two ladies from Ireland?" "It's Wales, you idiot," one snaps back at him. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Ireland?

Two humpback whales walk into a bar.

After seating themselves, the stunned bartender asks what they will have.
The first whale responds, Oooooooo….. Eeeeeeeee…. Oooooooooooooooooh!
The second whale says, Shut up, Frank. You're drunk.

Two ladies in a pub in attract the attention of a fellow down the bar with their accents.

Two ladies in a pub in attract the attention of a fellow down the bar with their accents.
"Ah, tourists eh? Do you girls want to hear a joke about Scotland?"
"It's Wales actually."
"Alright. Do you whales want to hear a joke about Scotland?"

A Englishman walks into a bar...

He walks over to two women sitting near the bar and says, "Are you two ladies from England?"
"Wales.", replies the one woman.
So the man says, "Pardon me, are you two whales from England?"

A guy overhears two women at the bar talking with an accent

He walks up to them and asks Excuse me, I couldn't help but hear you speak, are you two ladies from Scotland perhaps? .
The women turn toward him and one of them rudely replies it's Wales, d**...! .
He says Excuse me, are you two whales from Scotland?

Two Whales joke, A guy overhears two women at the bar talking with an accent

jokes about two whales