Two Tents Jokes
93 two tents jokes and hilarious two tents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about two tents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Two Tents Short Jokes
Short two tents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The two tents humour may include short tents jokes also.
- my wife and I planned an entire week of camping. After two days, we packed our stuff and went home. We will never do that again! The entire situation was just two in tent.
- I was talking with a guy and he kept saying "I'm teepee I'm a wigwam." I said " relax man you're two tents."
- A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and exclaims "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!" Psychiatrist says "Calm down! You're two tents!"
- Grammar lesson Two people were camping in a campground. The first says, "I think I'll go for a run." The second replies, "Don't you mean 'ran,' since it's past tents?"
- I keep having this reoccurring dream Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me "Calm down kid, you're two tents.".
- A man describes his dreams to the psychiatrist. Man - "Last night I dreamed that I was a teepee. The night before I dreamed that I was a yurt. What does it mean?"
Psychiatrist - "You're two tents." - Stressed Out A guy walked up to me and said 'I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!' and I said 'Relax man, you're two tents!
- I went to the doctor, i told them most times i feel like a wigwam but then other times i feel like a teepee. They said I'm two tents.
- I went to my Dr. the other day and said doc last night I dreamt I was a tee-pee, and the next night I dreamt I was a wig-wam He said relax you're two tents
- Last night I dreamed I was a Teepee, and the night before that I dreamed I was a Wigwam. My wife says I'm two tents.
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Two Tents One Liners
Which two tents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with two tents? I can suggest the ones about camping tent and teepee tent.
- I never go camping with only one other person It's just two in tents.
- I thought my friend was a little camp... ...but he's just two tents.
- Why can you never relax when you go camping with another couple? two tents
- I watched two gay guys put up a tent today.... ...that was a camp sight.
- I had s**... with two indians last night... it was in tents!
(intense)
Two Tents Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about two tents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pitching a tent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make two tents pranks.
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.
Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and took me to our bedroom.
The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over.
She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did.
And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So here I am.
Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert.
After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, John woke up his friend.
"Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asked John.
Jack thought for a minute and said.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
After a moment of silence, John spoke.
"It tells two things to me. First is that... you are an idiot."
Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said.
"Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.
Two ADV riders camping out in a tent.
One of them crawls out to pee before bed. Comes back all wet. The other rider asks if it's rainy outside. "No - it's windy!"
Poetry Contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!! How, they wondered could the red neck top that?! The clock started again and the red neck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we was two,
So, I bucked one and Timbuktu.
There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...
The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".
The 2 minutes are up and the priest goes first:
"I've been devoted all my life,
Have no children, have no wife.
I've read the bible through and through,
All the way to timbuktu!"
The audience applaudes, and the Scotsman is up:
"Me and Tim to London went,
Met three ladies in a tent.
Since there were three, and we were two,
I booked one, and Timm booked two!"
A man goes to see a psychiatrist...
"Doctor, I feel like I'm going crazy! It's this constant back and forth: I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. What am I supposed to do!?"
"Relax" Says the psychiatrist, "You're two tents"
There was once a poetry competition...
and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.
For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem using the word 'Timbuctu.' Good luck and may the best man win. Harvard, you may go first."
The professor takes the stage, stands there for a second, clears his t**... and says -
"Across the burning desert sands, winds a lonely caravan.
Camels traveling two by two, destination Timbuctu"
The audience is thoroughly impressed and considers the competition practically over, but Alabama still gets his shot.
He slowly takes the stage and scratches his head for a minute before beginning-
"A camping me and Tim we went,
Met three girls in a pop-up tent,
They were three and we were two,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two"
The poetry contest
There was a prestigious, international poetry contest held in a glamorous foreign city. Contestants had come from all over the world and by the end there was one man whom everyone thought was going to win and a camo-wearing, baccer-chewing r**... that everyone wondered what was doing there. In the final round of the competition, the contestants were given a word and had to come up with a poem in thirty seconds. During the very last round, the contestants stood at the podium and were given the word; Timbuktu.
The shoo-in went first. He thought for thirty seconds, then stepped up to the microphone and said:
"Across the desert, wind and sand,
Trekked the lonely caravan.
Men and camels, two by two,
Destination; Timbuktu."
The audience erupted with applause. When it died down, the r**... grinned and stepped to the microphone and without missing a beat he recited:
"Tim and me a-huntin' went.
Found three w**... in a popped-up tent.
Them was three and us was two,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."
A guy goes to see the doctor...
He says, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having these weird dreams! Last night I dreamed I was a Tee-pee and the night before that I dreamed I was a Wigwam."
The doctor looks at him thoughtfully and then says, "I think I see your problem. You're two tents."
Two explorers are lost in the desert...
...they're dying of thirst, and have been wandering for days. Finally, off in the far distance, they see a camp of beautiful tents. Hoping that it is not a mirage, they crawl desperately towards it. On arriving, they find that it's a market. They stagger up to the first tent they see, and say to the shopkeeper "Water, please! Water, we're dying of thirst!"
The shopkeeper says to them "I am sorry, my friends- I have no water. All I have is this bowl, full of jelly, sponge and custard, topped with cream and s**... chocolate."
Perplexed, but undeterred, the explorers stagger to the next stand, only to be met with the same answer. At all of the dozens of stands in this market, all they are offered are these bowls, not a drop of water to be had.
As they leave the market, one explorer says to the other "Well, that was very strange".
The second explorer replies: "Yes, it was a trifle bazaar".
Timbuktu
In the finals of a national poetry contest, the last two contestants are a Harvard graduate and a r**.... The Harvard graduate steps forward to receive the last subject. The judges tell him 'Timbuktu'. He thinks for a moment and recites his poem:
Across the vast and open sands
March a lonely caravan.
As they march, two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd goes wild as the r**... steps forward. The judges tell him his subject is Timbuktu. He thinks for a while, when a big grin spreads across his face.
A huntin me and my friend Tim went.
We found three w**... in a pop-up tent.
Of them were three, and of us were two,
so I bucked one and Tim-buck-two!
National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu
For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!
Poetry Competition
The two finalists at the annual poetry competition were an Ivy League college graduate and a r**.... The final stage of the competition was to write a rhyming poem using the word *Timbuktu.* The college graduate stands up to the microphone and starts.
>A desert caravan astray beneath a dusk deep blue
>On a path unknown the camels walk two by two
>Men search the stars for a bearing true
>Destination Timbuktu
The crowd erupted with applause then settled back into their seats. The r**... approaches the microphone, clears his t**... and begins to speak.
>Me n' Tim a huntin' went
>Met three w**... in a pop up tent
>They was three and we was two
>So I buck'd one and Tim-buck'd-two
A man goes to the carnival
A man goes to the carnival with his family, and they decide to split up to enjoy the rides. The husband walks by a tent with a sign advertising a fortuneteller. He doesn't believe in such things,but decides to go inside anyway.
A woman looks up from a small table with a crystal ball and speaks, " Greetings, would you like your fortune foretold?" Thinking for a second, he answers, "I'd like some proof first that you aren't a fake."
The woman looks into her crystal ball, and answers, " I see you have two lovely children with you this fine day."
"Pff, I have three children, not two."
The woman grins back. "That's what you think."
Army Captains Are Funny
A new Army Captain is assigned to an outfit in a remote post located in the Afghan desert.
During his first inspection he noticed a camel hitch up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was there. Nervously, the Sergeant replied, sir, as you know, there are two hundred and fifty men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges, that's why we have the camel."
"I can't say I condone this, but I understand their urges. The camel can stay", the Captain conceded.
One month passes and the Captain starts having 'urges' of his own. Crazed with desire, he tells the Sergeant to bring the camel over to his tent. Setting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain climbs and has wild, passionate s**... with the camel.
When he finishes, he turns to the Sergeant and asks, "is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."
Ogden Nash and Robert Frost die and are facing St. Peter at the Pearly Gates...
St. Peter doesn't recognize them and asks for identification. They both respond that they are great poets from Earth and are surprised that they're not recognized. St. Peter challenges them - "If you're such great poets. let me hear you form a rhyme for "Timbuktu".
The poets think for a moment, then finally Robert Frost speaks first.
"With such little time, I can only come up with this....". He then continues.
"I walked along the sandy shore.
I listened to the ocean's roar.
A floating ship came into view
Her port of call was Timbuktu."
An impressed St. Peter allowed him access through the gates.
After a slight period of silence, Ogden Nash finally spoke up.
"Okay - this is also rushed, but here goes...."
"Tim and I, a hiking went,
We spied three ladies in a tent.
Since they were three and we were two
I bucked one, and Tim bucked two."
Jimbo and Jon, two cowboys see a wanted poster for Indian scalps...
The poster says there will be a fifty dollar reward for each scalp brought back. So Jimbo and Jon decide to try and make some money.
They get supplies together and head straight into Apache territory hoping to find a couple unsuspecting Indians. The first day they manage to sneak up on one and get his scalp, but they figure that fifty dollars isn't a good enough payout and so they set up camp in a valley for the night with the hopes of getting more the next day.
The next morning Jimbo wakes up early and starts cooking some breakfast on the campfire when suddenly all around the whole ridge around their valley campsite hundreds of angry Apache Indians appear holding their spears and bows staring at the Jimbo like death.
Jimbo's eyes go wide and he darts into the tent "Jon! Jon! Wake up!" He yells, shaking Jon awake. "We're gonna be RICH!"
Namesake joke...
Two people were left standing at the national poetry contest, the Harvard grad and the highschool drop out.
The regulators gave the rules for the final round, "a word will be given and each contestant will be given 5 minutes to develop a poem using the word". The word was selected and the Harvard grad was drawn to go first, the word Timbuktu....
Harvard steps to the mic, clears his t**... and begins:
"Across the bleak and dreary sand
Trekked a meek and weary band
Men on camel two by two
Deatination Timbuktu"
The croud applauds the obvious skill of the Harvard man.
Then the high school drop out approaches the microphone. He snorts, gravels his t**..., and proceeds to spit onto the floor off the stage. The words that follow:
"Me and Tim and huntin went
Found three w**... in a pop up tent
They was many and we was few
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."
The drop out won hands down.
NCAA poetry contest was last night.
It got down to two finalists. A rich law student from Duke and r**... from Texas A&M. For the final round the contestants got five minutes to come up with a four line poem that uses the word "Timbuktu." After about a minute and a half the rich fella from Duke stands up and says:
Out upon the dusty sand
Traveled the roaming caravan
Camel and man traveling two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd went wild. Everyone was wondering if the r**... would be able to top that. About 30 seconds before his time ran out the r**... hit the clock, eased up out of his seat, and said:
Tim and me a-hunting went
came upon three w**... in a pop up tent
They were three and we but two
So I buck one and Tim buck two
...The r**... won.
Two white guys are lost in a desert
Billy Bob and Bubba are lost in the desert, hungry, thirsty, and tired. They see a bedouin Arab tent up in the distance, and start making their way towards the tent.
Billy Bob says "I ain't gon' say my name is Billy Bob to this A-rab, I'm gonna say Mohammed."
Bubba says "I'm just gonna say Bubba, man."
They reach the tent and, introduce themselves. The Arab welcomes Bubba inside and offers him water and food.
He looks at Billy Bob, and says....
"Ramadan Mubarak."
Man goes to a therapist. Says, "Doctor, every night I have the same dream, first I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. Over and over again, all night long. What does it mean?"
Therapist replies, "Simple. You're two tents."
A man goes to the doctor...
he tells the doc I keep having re-occurring nightmares. Some nights I'm a tee-pee, some nights I'm a wigwam, tee-pee, wigwam, tee-pee, wigwam...
The Doc said "Oh this is easy you're just two tense." (two tents)
Weird Dreams
I've been having these weird dreams lately and, disturbed by them, I decide to call up my buddy who works as a psychologist.
He asks me what's wrong and I tell him about the weird dreams, "The first night, I dreamed I was a wigwam. And then the next night I had a dream I was a tipi. What do you think this means, doc?"
There was a brief pause before he replied, "Well, I think you're two tents."
I was having the same dreams every night, so I went to see the doctor...
The doctor asked me to describe the dreams.
So I said, "Well, one night I'll have a dream that I'm a teepee... the next night I'll have a dream that I'm a wigwam. The next I'll be a teepee. Then a wigwam. Teepee, wigwam, TEEPEE, WIGWAM!"
The doctor said, "Woah, calm down! You're two tents!"
The Camping Trip
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.
Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So here I am.
Two poets die and go to heaven.
When they arrive saint Peter tells them that he only has room for one poet in heaven. He decides that the fairest way to decide who gets in is to have a competition. He tells them that the one that makes the best poem using the word timbucktoo will be allowed in. After thinking for a while the first poet says, "I looked upon the golden land, I looked upon the golden sand, a golden ship came in to view, its destination was timbucktoo." The secound one looks a bit worried due to how good the other poets poem was. After think a while longer the secound poet goes "Tim and I a walk we went, saw three women by a tent, they were three and we were two, so I bucked one and Tim bucked two".
When I tell the joke I let the person I'm telling it too decide who gets let in.
The r**... Poet
Robert Frost and a r**... came to heaven's gate at the same time. St. Peter stood at the gate with instuctions for the two: ''You cannot enter the gates of heaven until you can make up a poem and recite it to me using the word 'Timbuktu' in it.'' Robert Frost stepped up and recited a magnificent, graceful poem and was let in the gates.
Then the r**... stepped up and St. Peter said, ''Now, what is your poem?''
The r**... paused and scratched. ''Oh! I got it,'' said the r**..., ''here it goes...Me and Tim a huntin' went, Met three maidens in a tent, They was three and we was two, So I bucked one and Tim bucked two.''
Timbuktu
A Harvard grad and an Agricultural grad are competing for a bank job. The bank president is equally impressed with both candidates so he comes up with with a test to see how they think on there feet. He tells both candidates to write a poem using a word he will give them in 3 minutes to complete the task. Both candidates agree. The presidents say the word is "timbuktu". Go!!!
The Harvard grad starts writing immediately and finishes in a minutes while the Aggie has not written anything down. The president tells him time is half over just write something down. The Aggie frantically writes something and finishes just in time.
Since the Harvard grad finished first he will read his first and it went something like this.
Basting is the desert sun, Camels lined two by two, Destination timbuktu.
Impressed the president reads the Aggies.
A hunting Tim and I went, Spotted three lovelies in a tent, With the morning dew, I buck one and, Tim buck two
Aggie gets the job is you are worried about that.
Do you know what the twins were doing in the wigwam?
I can't tell you... it's *two-in-tents*.
A man goes to the doctor
He says he has been having dreams where one night, he is a teepee, and the other night he is a wigwam.
Doctor says: "That's an easy one, you're too tense!"
(Two tents)
Tim buck two
One day, my mate Tim and I went camping, we met three girls in their tent. I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
Two men were lost in a desert...
Dehydrated and dying, the men see a mirage of hundreds and hundreds of tents up ahead. As they get closer, they realize it's not a mirage, but a huge market.
The men stagger into the marketplace, begging everyone around for water, but the first few tents sell only jelly.
Moving on into the market, the men beg and plead for water but the next tents only sell cake.
As the men move forward they're surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of tents selling icecream only, with no water in sight.
The men finally exit the cluster of tents still dehydrated, and dying.
The first man turns to the other and says, "Is it just me, or was that really odd?"
The other man replies, "Yeah. It WAS a trifle bazaar..."
Me and Tim a hunting went...
...Met three w**... in a pop-up tent. They was three and we was two, so I buck one and Timbuktu.
Timbuktu
From my 80 year old Granddad:
Two finalists in a contest, One a college grad and one a high school drop out, were to write a poem in 3 minutes. The only requirement was that it ended in "Timbuktu". The college grad wrote his and told it to the judges;
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The judges were very surprised and pleased with the poem, thinking that the drop out had no chance of beating that one.
The dropout then told his poem
Me and Tim a hunting went,
Met three girls in a tent.
Sunrise came, mornin' dew,
I bucked one and Timbuktu.
He won the contest.
Timbuktu
The chief poet of the town dies, so they have to elect a new one. The voting whittles the candidates down to two. The town holds a feast to choose the winner. The mayor stands up and declares that the winner shall be decided by voting on the poem the candidates can come up with on the spot based on a subject of his choosing. The mayor announces the subject will be "Timbuktu."
The first candidate stands up, thinks for a moment, and recites:
It came across a stormy gale
Broad of beam and wide of sail
Its keel was white, its hull was blue
Its destination: Timbuktu
The crowd erupts, they're cheering for the first candidate. The mayor calms the crowd, chiding them to remember they still must hear the other candidate's poem. The second candidate stands up, considers the crowd with utter solemnity, and says:
A-hiking Tim and I went,
When we came upon three girls in a tent
Since they were three and we but two,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two
A guy goes to his psychiatrist . . .
And he tells him, "doc, something is wrong with me. Every night I fall asleep and I am awakened by one of two alternating dreams; one night I'm a teepee, and the next night I'm a wigwam. You gotta help me, doc, it's driving me crazy!"
The doctor thinks for a minute, then looks up at the man and says, "you're two tents."
What two cities in Arizona have the highest population of Mexicans?
Tent City and Food City.
Timbuktu
Two gentlemen are sitting at the pearly gates waiting to speak with St. Peter. St. Peter asks them both to recite a poem using the word Timbuktu.
They sat there for a bit and the first guy says "While sitting on the ocean shore, listening to the ocean roar, I saw a ship passing through, it's destination, Timbuktu." St. Peter smiled and allowed him through the gates.
The second guy was having a very hard time coming up with a poem. After a long while he finally says "Tim and I, a walking we went, spotted three maidens in a tent. While they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu."
Had a doctors visit
Doctor asked me, "What's wrong?"
I replied, " I'm a teepee!, I'm a wigwam!, I'm a teepee!, I'm a wigwam!"
"I see the problem," he diagnosed. "You're two tents."
The recurring dream
An old man sought out advice from his therapist about his troubling recurring dreams.
One night I'm a wigwam, the next night I'm a teepee.
Relax, said the therapist, you're two tents.
Patient: Doctor, doctor I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I think I am a wigwam and sometimes I think I'm a teepee.
Doctor: Relax Mr. Robinson, you're two tents.
After several hours, I won a stressful auction for a wigwam and a teepee
It was just two tents.
A man frantically walks into the doctor's office...
...and begins to shout, "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"
"Calm down, calm down!" The doctor says.
"You're two tents!"
A guy goes to the psychiatrist and says
"I'm a wigwam I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam I'm a teepee."
The doctor says "calm down, you're two tents.
It's down to two guys at a job interview.
Both of the men interviewing are equally qualified all the way down to eagle scout so the interviewer has an idea. "The one of you that can give me the better poem ending in Timbuktu gets the job." The first guy stands up and says, "Out across the desert sand went a lonely caravan. Underneath the sky so blue, their destination, Timbuktu." The second guy just sat there stunned. He knew he couldn't compete and was about to give up when inspiration struck. "Me and Tim a fishing went when we saw three ladies in a tent. They being three, and we being two, I bucked one and Tim bucked two."
A poet and a Newfie die
They are met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter says that to get in they must make a poem that says Timbuktu. For the poet this was simple and he said ; I was walking in the desert sand. When I came across a caravan. Camels walking two by two. Destination Timbuktu
For the Newfie this was very hard because he new nothing about Timbuktu or even where it was. It took him three days, but he finally came up with one and he said ; Tim and I a hunting we went. Found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two I buck one and Tim buck two
Two Men Go Camping
After a day of roughing it in the woods, they go to sleep in their tent. Later in the night one wakes the other.
"Look up, and tell me what you see."
"I see a starry sky."
"What does that tell you?"
"That there are millions of stars, and there are planets revolving around some of those stars, some of those planets containing an environment to house life on its surface. Maybe that life is intelligent, and we'll one day meet that life, and find out that we not alone in this galaxy."
"No you mook, someone stole our tent!"
There's a poem contest in South Carolina.
It's down to two contestants...one Harvard grad and one old r**... from the Low Country. They each have 5 minutes to come up with a poem, but they have to use the word "Timbuktu" in the poem to win. The Harvard grad goes first.
"Swiftly cross the desert sands,
Strode a lonely caravan.
One by one on camels drew,
Destination: Timbuktu."
The crowd goes crazy, thinking there's no way the r**... can top that. He walks to the mic, spits out his w**... of tabacco, ponders a second and says:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu."
A guy visits his psychiatrist
"Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
A man on a plane started shouting hysterically:
"I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam!..." nobody could get him to stop. Finally the flight attendant went over to him. She said "calm down, you're two tents."
Sometimes I wake up feeling like a Tipi but other days I wake up feeling like a Wigwam
The doctor told me I'm two tents.
Poetry contest
A r**... and a Harvard graduate are in a poetry contest where they have to come up with a poem that has the word Timbuktu in it. The Harvard graduate goes first.
Amongst the desert sands
Away ride the caravans
Camels leaving, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu
The audience applauds, thinking that the r**... does not have a chance. Then the r**... goes.
Me and Tim a'huntin' went,
Found some w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three and we was two
So I bucked one and Timbuktu!
It was the finals of a poetry competition
The finalists: An English Professor and A r**.... The judge says, Here is your task. Write a 4 line poem that ends with the word Timbuktu
The English prof goes first on stage. His poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Ran a dusty caravan
Men in camels, two by two,
Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd bursts into applause. Not to be deterred, the r**... gets up and says,
Tim and I a-hunting went,
Met three w**... in a pick-up tent,
They were three, and we were two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
I went to the Psychiatrist.
I went to the Psychiatrist, I said to him, one minute I am a wigwam, next I am a tepee, he said, you are too tense. (Two Tents)
Two Indians are playing poker in a tent
One says to the other, "Is that a spider in the corner?"
The other replies, "No, squawshit".
Two Squirrels GO Camping
They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,
"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"
A Poem about Timbuktu
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
Winner of the National Championship for Poems - Category: "Timbuktu"
Tim and I off hunting went.
Found three girls in a pop up tent.
They were three and we were two.
So I bucked one and,
Tim bucked two.
Doctor I'm confused...
Patient: sometimes I think I'm a tipi and sometimes I think I'm a wigwam.
Doctor: I see your problem. You're two tents!
Patient: Doc, I keep having this dream.
First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me? Doctor: You're two tents.
Poetry contest
At a poetry contest where the contestants are given one word they must create a poem from, there was competition between a well regarded poet and a r**.... The word given to them was Timbuktu and the poet was to go first.
Almost immediately the poet starts speaking..
Slowly across the desert sands, treks a lonely caravan, men on camels, two by two, there destination, Timbuktu.
No one thought the r**... could even compete but nonetheless he immediately stands and says,
Me and Tim a huntin' went, met three w**... in a pop up tent, they was three and we was two so I buck one and Tim buck two
A man goes to his doctor...
The man says, "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"
The doctor says, "Calm down man, you're two tents!"
the big universe
two friends Jake & bill laying in the tent camping
bill: Jake what are you looking at
Jake: the stars
bill: and what you get from that
Jake: how big the universe is and how small we are
bill: no the fu\*\*ing tent is gone you m**...
I want to make a podcast where two guys go camping and debate the best camping supplies...
...Call it Intense in Tents
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
[Long] [Kinda British] There was a man in search of the dumbest pun in the world.
He travelled the globe for months and finally stopped at a campsite with 26 tents. The man went into the first tent, tent A. Three men came in to talk with him and they told jokes for a while. Two of the men said they knew what the dumbest pun in the world was. "It's in tent A!" they said. The last man whispered in the man's ear "It's free real estate."
(NOT THE ACTUAL JOKE)
The last man went to the back of the tent A, dug around for a while and said,"The other two are lying," and tossed a piece of paper at him. It read, 'Pun not in tent Z.'
John leaves the tent where he is with his girlfriend in the campsite late in the evening.
- John, where you go?
- I'm going to pee outside. Be right back!
Two minutes later when he sits next to his girlfriend:
- John! It's raining?
- Nah! Just a lil bit windy!
Confused man sees a psychiatrist
A man goes to see a psychiatrist.
"Doc, you gotta help me. I'm a teepee. No wait, I'm a wigwam. No, I'm definitely a teepee. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm a wigwam. Nah, I'm for sure a teepee. But actually, I'm 100% certain I'm a wigw-...."
"Stop, stop. Just stop right there, I already know what your problem is. You're two tents...."
I told my therapist about two dreams I had this past week. On Monday, I dreamed I was a teepee. On Tuesday, I dreamed I was a wigwam.
He said, You have to try to relax, It looks like you're two tents.