The Best 12 Two Strings Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Two Strings jokes. There are some two strings tuppence jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these two strings string theory puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Two Strings Jokes and Puns

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":

* The Engagement Ring

* The Wedding Ring

* The Suffe-Ring

* The Endu-Ring

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

No Strings

Two strings wanted to go into a bar. The bar had a sign up "We do not serve strings" One of them said to the other I've got an idea. He slammed into the wall, scooted and twisted himself around on the ground and then began tearing at his ends. He walked into the bar and the bartender said "Hey aren't you a string?" He looked at the bartender and said "I'm a frayed knot"


Three pieces of strings are standing outside a bar with the intention of having a drink. The first one walks in and the bartender asks, "are you a piece of string?". He answers, "yes". The bartender yells, "get outta my bar". The second goes in and the same thing happens. The third then says to the other two, "quick tie me into a frayed knot". They do so and he walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "are you a piece of string?". He says ,"No. I'm a frayed knot"

A string walks into a bar...

and orders a drink. The bartender says, "NO STRINGS! We don't serve your kind here." Angered but undeterred, the string leaves the bar determined to get a drink. He has two friends tie him together. With his new disguise, he reenters the bar to order once more. The bartender says, "Hey there! What can I get - wait a minute... Aren't you that string that was in here earlier?" The string says, "No. I'm afraid not"

The Tampax 300

It's Memorial Day and NASCAR is running the Tampax 300...

It's completely sold out but I knew someone who got me two tickets.

I had to pull a few strings, though.

What's got two thumbs and can't figure out the difference between a string and an array?

0 => "T"
1 => "h"
2 => "i"
3 => "s"
4 => " "
5 => "g"
6 => "u"
7 => "y"
8 => "!"

A string gets tied up

A string walks into a classroom. The teacher sees the string, then ties it between two posts tightly. Did the teacher do a good job teaching?

Yes, because the string was taut.

My new party trick...

I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together.

I shit you knot.

My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.

He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.

I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together!

I shit you knot!

You can explore two strings quick reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean two strings double dad jokes. There are also two strings puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"

Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the two strings string bass jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working two strings string quartet piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes