Two Nuns Jokes
123 two nuns jokes and hilarious two nuns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about two nuns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Two Nuns Short Jokes
Short two nuns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The two nuns humour may include short three nuns jokes also.
- Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!" - Nun joke Two nuns were bicycling down an old dirt road on the countryside. One nun says, "I've never come this way before." The other replies, "It's the cobblestones."
- Two nuns are riding bicycles through the streets of Rome. "I've never come this way before" says the first nun.
The second nun replies: "It's the cobblestones." - Two nuns are riding down a street on bikes One says to the other "I've never come this way before."
The other smiles and says "neither have I. Must be the cobblestones." - Two nuns went for a bike ride and ride down a cobble stone street One says I haven't come this way before.
The other says neither have I just hold on and enjoy it - Two nuns go out for a bike ride They wander through the old part of town.
One nun says, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones." - Two nuns are biking down a cobblestone path... ...when one nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun replies, "Must be the cobblestones." - Two nuns are cycling down the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.... "One says, "I've never come this way before."
The other says, "Me neither. It must be the cobblestones." - Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome . One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before." The other Nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."
- A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, What is this, some sort of joke?
Share These Two Nuns Jokes With Friends
Two Nuns One Liners
Which two nuns one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with two nuns? I can suggest the ones about nuns and priest and nun.
- What do you call two nuns playing a bongo? A conundrum.
- What do you call a couple of nuns and a blonde? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
- What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a knife fight.
- Here we see two Majestic birds of pray. Or Nuns, as they are also known.
- Two Priests Walk Into A Bar... The Nuns Duck.
- Two nuns met a exhibitionist. One had a s**.... The other one just watched it.
- Two nuns walking thru the park see a f**... One had a s**..., the other couldn't reach
Two Nuns Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about two nuns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 3 nuns jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make two nuns pranks.
Two nuns were riding their bicycles down the street. The first nun says, "I've never came this way before." The second nun says, "Yeah, it's the cobblestones!"
Two nuns go on a bike ride through town...
As they ride through an alley, the younger nun turns to the elder and says, "I've never come this way before!"
The elder nun replies, "That's because it's cobblestones, dear."
ba-dum CHING. My granny told me that one this weekend.
nuns have desires too
two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of rome.
one turns to the other and says, "i've never come this way before".
the other nun says, "it's the cobblestones".
Two nuns are riding their bikes somewhere...
One of the nuns says "I've never come this way before!"
Other nun says "Must be the cobblestones."
The Two Nuns and the Blind man.
There were once two nuns taking a bath together when all of a sudden they hear a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" yells out one of the nuns.
"It's me, the blind man." replies the man at the door.
"Ok, come on up." calls the second nun.
A short moment later, they heard the footsteps up the staircase and soon the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oh, hello Sisters. I like your new towels. Now where do you want the blinds?"
Bu dum tss
Two nuns are out riding their bicycles..
Two nuns are out in the countryside riding ow their bicycles.
The first nun suggested that they take a shortcut.
A few minutes later the second one says: "I've never come this way before."
The first one replies: "Oh, I guess it must be the cobblestones."
Three nuns
Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car c**... and all die tragically.
In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"
The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.
"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"
She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and she enters.
Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"
"Eve!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.
St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"
Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."
*Gong!*
How About Three Nuns
Three nuns were sitting together on a bench when a tall man in a trench coat walked over to them an flashed them. The first two nuns instantly had a s**..., the third one couldn't reach.
Two nuns riding
Down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replies, "neither have i, it's probably the cobbles."
Two nuns on a bike ride in Philadelphia
Two nuns are on a bide ride through Philadelphia, the first nun says to the second, "Make a right turn here, I know a short cut". After a few minutes the second nun says, "I've never come this way before". The first replies, "I know, it's the cobblestones"
A joke a Jewish speaker at my Catholic college told the student body in front of a bunch of nuns
So a man walks into confession and says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned". The priest says "What have you done, my son?"
"I'm 72 and just had s**... with two 25 year olds" he claimed.
"Are you kidding?!" the priest said. "You can't do that. 100 Hail Mary's and run around the church 1000 times. By the way is this your first confession?"
"Yes I've never been to confession before. I'm Jewish."
"If you are Jewish why are you telling me this?" begged the priest.
"I'm telling everybody"
Nun takes a vow of silence
A woman joins a convent that requires a vow of silence, allowing members only two word a decade.
Ten years go by and the woman tells the head nun, "Room cold." They give her a heater and she goes back to her prayers.
Ten more years go by and she says, "Bed hard." They give her a new mattress and she goes back to her prayers.
Ten more years go by and the woman says, "I quit." The head nun says, "Fine by me. All you've done since you got here is complain."
Two nuns were riding their bikes down a cobblestone street ...
... on their way to the church. One nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replied, "It's probably the cobblestones."
The Elusive Midget Nun
Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.
The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?
The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.
The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.
The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.
With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you s**... a penguin!
Two nuns
Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.
Two Nuns ride back to the convent.
They were riding bicycles and one nun says to the other
"I know a short cut, follow me"
The other one says
"Ive never come this way before"
The first nun looks at her and smiles
"Oh yeah girl, that's the cobblestone. "
Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...
They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"
Two Nuns On Bikes
Two nuns, Maria and Angelica, are riding their bicycles on their way to work at the Vatican. They're running late, so Maria says, "I know a shortcut. Let's go down this alley." They turn right onto the alley, which soon becomes a narrow cobblestone road, with many twists and turns. Angelica remarks, "wow, I never came this way before." Maria tells her, "it's the cobblestones."
Two nuns sare coming back from the market late at night
- "Sister Andrea, it's already dark and we are still quite fare from the covent"
- "Yes Sister Dulce and did you notice that a man is following us??"
- "Yes! and what do you think he wants ?"
- "logical, rapes us... what should we do??"
- "logical: we split way, you on the left me on the right"
The man starts following Sister Dulce. Sister Andrea arrives to the Covent, and is worried because Sister Dulce is not arrived yet. After 1 hour here she comes.
- "What happened??"
- "Well I started running and obviously as did the man"
- "and??"
- "Logical: he reached me.."
- "Oh dear god! And what did you do??"
- "Logical: I lifted my dress up"
- "And what did he do??"
- "Logical: He dropped his pants"
- "god.... and??"
- "Logical no? A nun with her dressed up runs faster than a man with his pants down"
ps: Sorry my english is not my first language :)
So there were two nuns and...
They were riding there bikes down an old cobblestone street, one nun said oh sister Mary Margret I've never come this way before, and sister Mary Margret replied it's the cobblestone streets.
Two nuns were riding though the streets
and realised they were late for church, one said to the other "I know a short cut" they zip through back streets and down a cobble stone path, the other Nun says "I've never come this way before!" The fist Nun replies "yeah, it's the cobble stones"
A nun walks into a grocery store
Nun: "Hi I'd like to buy a cucumber."
Clerk: "Well, why don't you buy two, so you can eat one."
two nuns at the vatican...
so these two nuns are riding a bicycle built for two on their daily trip around the vatican... so one day, sister mary decides to take a different route... sister katherine says "why, ive never come this way" to which sister mary relpies "it's the cobblestones"...
Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench.
A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.
Two nuns ride their bicycles to the monastery.
The older nun suggested a detour through an old little street.
After they arrived, the second nun exclaimed: "I never came this way!"
The first one smiles and explains: "It's the cobblestones."
A nun walks out..
A nun walks out the front door of the church and sees two small boys laying face down in the snow with their pants down. She's asks them
What is it you boys are doing?
They turn and say "you know how father likes to have a couple of cold ones after his sermon"
Two nuns are walking through a forest...
...when two men catch them and s**... them n**... before r**... them.
One of the nuns starts praying: "God, please forgive them, as they don't know what they're doing!"
To which the other nun says: "This one does!"
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a Paris street..
One looks to the other and says "You know, I've never come this way before." The second replies, "Must be the cobblestones."
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
This guy in an overcoat walks up to two old nuns on a bench
and opens up his coat to reveal he's completely n**... underneath. One of the nuns has a s**....
The other one couldn't reach
Two nuns were out walking in the woods
When two thugs jumped out from behind a bush and started r**... the nuns, the first nun started praying to God, asking him to forgive the men as they knew not what they were doing, the second nun turned to the first and told her, yours might not know what he is doing but mine sure does.
A soldier is running from Military Police. He runs up to a nun, and asks, out of breath: "Please... may I hide under your tunic?"
..."I'll explain later."
The nun nods in agreement.
A moment later, two Military Police officers show up and ask:
"Sister, have you seen a soldier here?"
The nun shakes her head. MPs run off, and the soldier crawls out from under her tunic and says, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria. I want to return to my family..."
The nun nods and smiles.
The soldier, relieved, adds jokingly: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun smiles, and replies in a deep voice "Well lad, if you had looked a bit higher, you would've seen a great pair of b**...… guess we're both not going to Syria."
Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them.
Two of them have a s**.... But the third one couldn't reach
A man walks up to two nuns and reveals himself to them, one had a s**......
... the other couldn't quite reach.
Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park, enjoying the sunshine, when a man wearing a trench coat approached them and exposed himself. Two of the nuns had a s**... -
but the third one couldn't reach.
Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German t**... plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?
Old habits die hard
Two nuns were riding their bikes...
Two nuns were riding their bikes through Rome headed to the Vatican. One nun said to the other, "You know, sister, I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other nun said, "It's the cobblestones."
Two nuns were sitting on a bench in a park..
when a guy approached in a trench coat. He stopped right in front of them and exposed himself in all his natural beauty. The first nun had a s**.... The second nun was to slow.
Nuns and prostitutes
What do you call 2 nuns and a p**... playing football? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Two nuns are walking in a forest.
Two nuns are walking in a forest. All of a sudden two maniacs attack them and start s**... abusing them. One of the nuns says :
• Oh god... please forgive them! they don't know what they are doing!
The other nun turns around and says :
• Mine does!
Three nuns were sitting in the park..
when, all of a sudden, a man jumped out of the bushes, opened his trenchcoat and flashed them. Two of the nuns had a s**..., but the third one couldn't quite reach.
Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a f**... comes by and opens his trench coat. The first two nuns each had a s**....
The third nun couldn't reach.
Two nuns are walking down an alley late at night...
When they get approached by 2 men who begin assaulting them. After minutes of the altercation, Sister Mary Sue screams, "Oh dear Lord! Forgive this man for he knows not what he is doing!" Sister Sarah looks up and says, "....Mine does".
Two nuns are biking back to their convent
after a long day out nunning about in the community.
They take a different route than normal, and after a while, one says to the other: "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other replies: "Yes, it must be the cobblestones"
Two nuns in an alleyway
Two nuns were walking down an alleyway when a f**... jumps out. The first nun had a s**... but the second couldn't reach.
Two nuns in the park...
Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to s**... assault them.
Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!"
Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!"
Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican
First nun shouts to the other "I've never come this way before!"
The second nun replies "don't worry it's just the cobblestones."
Two nuns are riding bicycles down a bumpy road...
One turns to the other and say "I never came this way before".
A f**... went up to two old nuns sitting on a park bench and exposed himself to them. One of them immediately had a s**......
The other couldn't quite reach.
Two nuns are riding bikes to the convent...
One says, "I don't think I've come this way before." The other nun goes, "Yeah, it's the cobblestones."
Two nuns are riding back to the church when one decides to take a shortcut.
The way that they turn down is an old cobblestone road. As they traverse the uneven surface that is rattling their teeth out, the one nun asked the other, have you come this way before? Of course! why do you think I come down here...
Two Nuns sitting on a park bench
A f**... comes by and displays his goods .. one Nun had a s**... and the other one couldn't reach.
Two nuns are out for a stroll...
... they happen by a produce stand with lots fresh-from-the-farm offerings.
The first nun says "Oh my, look at those cucumbers. They look great and they're huge!"
The second nun nods her head excitedly and asks: "How much are those cucumbers young man?"
"They're three for two dollars," he replies.
The nuns smile at the vendor, then at each other.
The first nun says "Well, I guess we'll have to *eat* one!"
So, there were two nuns...
...and one of them says to the other 'sister, I've got a filthy *habit*'
'Why? Have you not washed it in a while?'
'No,' she replied. 'I'm a crack addict.'
Two Nuns riding home from church on a tandem bicycle...
Suddenly the nun in front steers the bike down a very bumpy road - not their normal rout.
Curious, the nun on the back asks, "Have you come this way before, sister?"
Nun in front replies, "Yes... I think it's the *cobblestones!"*
Two catholic sisters rode bicycles through rough roads of Rome...
One turns to the other and says, "I've never come this way before".
The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones".
Three nuns sitting on a park bench. n**... man runs by.
Two had a s**....
The other couldn't reach.
Oh Sister.
A young nun joined an order which allowed her to say only two words every ten years.
After the first ten years, she said to the Mother Superior -- "Bed hard."
Ten years later, she said -- "Food stinks."
Ten years later, she said -- "I quit."
The Mother Superior said, "I'm not surprised, you've done nothing but complain ever since you got here."
A Nun and a Parrot
Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The bartender says, What is this? Some kind of joke?
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench...
Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a s**...! The other tried but she couldn't reach.
Two nuns sitting in a park bench were flashed. One nun had a s**....
The other nun couldn't reach.
Two Nuns
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through Rome on their way to the Vatican. This time, though, they are taking a different route instead of their usual route.
I've never come this way, one nun says to the other.
It's the cobblestones, says the other nun.
Two nuns are taking a shower together...
One asked Where's the soap?
The other one replied Yes it does
A nun is leaving church one evening.....
A nun is leaving church one winter evening after mass. As she exits she sees two alter boys laying in the snow completely n**.... The nun approaches the boys and says "Dear lord! What are u boys doing out here n**... in the snow?" One of the boys looks up at her and says,
"Father John likes to have a couple cold ones after mass"
In the latest sequel, John McClain teams up with two elderly nuns to save the Vatican from terrorists.
It's called Old Habits Die Hard.
Three nuns are at a bus stop
A man walks up and flashes them.
The first two have a s**..., and the other can't reach.
Two sailors where trading jokes on a submarine.
One of them says, this is the best joke ever: A bus driver drove into a nun and then starts laughing hysterically.
Confused, the other sailor asked, how is that even funny?
The other sailor says it's not, but on this sub it is
Two nuns are in front of an abandoned coalmine.
(its better in dutch but it translates)
Two nuns are walking in front of an old (abandoned) coal mine.
One nun says to the other nun: mine's smelly today.
Says the other nun: mine too.
Two nuns are walking down a dark alley one night.
Two men suddenly jump out of the shadows and start to r**... them. The first nun looks up toward heaven and says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they are doing."
The second nun looks up and says,
"This one does!"
Two nuns are riding bicycles back to the convent.
The first nun says "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies, "I know... its the cobblestones."
Two nuns walking through the park were confronted by a f**....
The 85-year-old nun immediately had a s**.... The younger one didn't touch it.