Twist Jokes
126 twist jokes and hilarious twist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about twist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A meta description for an article with the title "Twist Jokes" might read: "This article contains hilarious jokes inspired by Oliver Twist, mind twists, brain twists, Saturday twists, word twists, sewn, wrenches, and twist and turns. Read on for a good laugh!"
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Funniest Twist Short Jokes
Short twist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The twist humour may include short trick jokes also.
- My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
- I went to a disco last night. I went to a disco last night. They played The Twist, I did the Twist. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...I got kicked out for that one.
- How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
- They played the Macarena, I did the Macarena. They played the Twist, I did the twist. They played Come On eileen… …I got kicked out for that one…
- I rolled my first joint last night! Today I have an ankle the size of a football. :(
- Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks,"Olive or twist?"
- Most people think I'm sick and twisted... But I'm not! I have the heart of a little girl.
In a jar.
On my desk. - I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump" .. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.
Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen! - My life is like going to see a M. Night Shyamalan film....bizarre characters, lots of plot twists and I want my money back.
- I just watched a knot making documentary, it was really good! Especially that ending, what a twist.
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Twist One Liners
Which twist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with twist? I can suggest the ones about twit and wrench.
- I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists I am conflicted
- I've just been on Trip Advisor Absolutely no help about a twisted ankle and a grazed knee
- What do you call a nun stuck in a tornado? Twisted Sister.
- Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam? It said "twist to open"
- What did Oliver Twist order at the Indian restaurant? Please, can I have samosa?
- What did the bartender say when Charles Dickens ordered a martini? Olive or twist?
- What is a drill's favorite dance? The Twist, but they also like de walts on occasion
- My friend said I twist everything to my advantage. I took it as a compliment.
- What do you call a reservoir with many turns and zigzags? A twisted cistern
- The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies They are always so twisted.
- What is M. Night Shyamalan's favorite pastry? A cinema-n twist.
- My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan. It's nothing with a twist.
- I was going to make a joke about knots…. But it's way too twisted for this sub.
- My cat's not happy about his coat being twisted into bunches. Fur's twirled problem!
- Plot twist, Kylo Ren is not an only child He's a Solo child
Plot Twist Jokes
Here is a list of funny plot twist jokes and even better plot twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve. What a plot twist
- A poem I read to my gf while proposing Roses are Red
Today is the Day
Plot Twist
I'm Gay - I'm writing a book with a huge plot twist So that you'll think:
"Oh, this is how it's gonna be"
And then it turns out to be completely different
Because I'm not actually writing a book. - What dance move catches everyone by surprise? The Plot Twist!
- What do you call an unexpected wiggle on a straight graph? A plot twist.
- So what do you all think of the new House of Cards? I have to say that whole plot twist with Trump becoming the new president was quite unexpected.
- Want to hear a plot twist? Tolp.
- So I rotated my coordinate system about the Z-Axis.. Plot twist!
- What was the plot twist in the movie 'Baby Driver'? Kevin Spacey was the baby driver.
- M.Night Shamaylan Joke When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?" When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist?"
Twist And Turns Jokes
Here is a list of funny twist and turns jokes and even better twist and turns puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My personal trainer in Moscow surprised me by making me do a weird turning movement while holding a medicine ball. I guess you can say it was a Russian Twist.
- My favorite movie plot twist... ...was when Leia turned out to be a skywalker.
Oliver Twist Jokes
Here is a list of funny oliver twist jokes and even better oliver twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Literary Humor. I ordered a martini with an olive and a twist of lime.
The bartender served it with no olive or twist.
I gave him the Dickens. - Oliver Twist has everything I ever wanted in a book I really couldn't ask for more.
- How did the orphans in Oliver Twist communicate with each other? Through *more*se code!
Word Twist Jokes
Here is a list of funny word twist jokes and even better word twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Challenge Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed
Howlingly Hilarious Twist Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about twist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wiggle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make twist pranks.
Row row row your boat
Roll roll roll your joint. Twist it at the end. Take a puff and that's enough. Now pass it to a friend.
Did y'all hear about the new Exorcist movie? Apparently there's a twist.
The devil comes to take the priest out of the kid.
A man and wife went to a new dance club...
The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.
The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.
The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.
What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?
Well, that was an unexpected twist!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A twist on a classic
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those b**..., mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.
Mystery
In an ironic twist, Oscar Pistorious has investigators stumped.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Twisted Tale
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his beautiful young wife pregnant.
So, he went to the doctor to have a s**... count done.
The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day.
The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.
Doctor: What was the problem?
Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried.
Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.
Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!
Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
The Purist by Ogden Nash
I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
Charles Dickens had writer's block…
He had a contract due for a new novel, but he hadn't even thought of a title yet. He went into the local pub and asked the barman for a Martini.
"Olive, or twist?"
Plot Twist
Ted Mosby is gay
So I'm at the dentist's office...
...in the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."
M. Night Shyamalan
Mark: While grocery shopping last night, I noticed the overweight cashier looked really familiar. It wasn't until I left that I realized it was Chubby Checker. Irony, right?
Paul: What do you mean?
Mark: Chubby Checker was a chubby checker.
Paul: I still don't get it.
Mark: That's The Twist!
What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?
They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cat in a rainbow afro wig is driving a train
and things are not going well, he's blowing switches, picking up speed and will almost certainly c**... into the town at the bottom of the hill. A police officer sees this hops in her car and chases after the train. Through a daring twist of events the police officer manages to dive onto the train after crashing her car into the river below. When she gets to the engine room she sees the cat is wearing Groucho Marx glasses, and is blowing into a tube that causes its' polka-dotted bow-tie to spin while making a whistle-ish sound. The police officer looks ahead and sees she has only moments to stop the train. Her instincts kick in, she pulls the brake and the train stops inches from crashing into the town and killing thousands.
The moral of the story is a copper is a much better conductor then a silicate.
A really twisted joke
What do ted bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common?
They both left bodies in four states.
a man walks in to a Chinese restaurant
He was asked to wait at the bar until a table was available. The bartender asked "what would you like?" The man answered, "I'd like a Stoli with a twist." The bartender paused for a moment then said " Once upon a time, there were three little pigs...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gameshow idea
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left or the straight man is out. If the g**... manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the last 2 people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here's the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just think they are the one straight man.
A joke about a hangman's noose...
You probably thought it's knot funny, but there's a twist at the end.
What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?
A large twist cone.
Got to the end of reading this book, and there's a twist
They really gave up after 't' with this dictionary
After watching all of M. Night Shyamalan's movies I realized the biggest twist...
...his career has been dead the whole time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 5-year-old niece's twist on an old pirate joke
**Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?
**Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up.
*...she cracks me up*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Oliver Twist say at the s**... auction?
Please sir, I want some moors.
My friends told me I needed to loosen up....
so we went to a club and had a few drinks, after the 5th one I was ready dance.
So I went to the dance floor and then "The Twist" began to play, and I did The Twist.
Then "The Hustle" began to play, and I did The Hustle
Then "Come on Eileen" played and I got banned from the club.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People with scoliosis are the same as you or I...
But with a twist.
I'll see myself out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to write a s**... charged novel with an FBI twist.
*Fifty Raids A Day*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just did a f**... that was like the movie 'The Sixth Sense'
There was a weird twist at the end, now I'm afraid to look
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?
Because one more would be one-f**... bowl of chili!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear that M. Night Shyamalan is making a new movie about a ninja with a n**... f**...?
You'll never see the twist coming
So I unexpectedly got a spiraled milkshake instead of a normal one.
What a TWIST!
M. Night Shamalan should do a remake of The Last Airbender
It would be such a twist!
The plot twist at the end always gets me
835
I was at a retro night down at the club
The DJ played "The Twist", so I did the twist. Then he played "The Macarena", and I did the Macarena. When he played "Come on Eileen", that's when the police arrested me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I finally watched g**... the Train.
I guess you could say there's a real twist at the end...
Why didn't the estatistician's graph end up as expected?
A plot twist ocurred.
I went out to a nightclub
They played the Twist, so I did the Twist.
They played the Cha-Cha Slide, so I did the Cha-Cha Slide.
They played Come On Eileen.
I'm banned from that nightclub, but I got a sweet restraining order.
You are not supposed to twist measuring sticks to measure curves
But I've always been willing to bend the rulers
My Father always said his children are his treasures.
When he buried Debbie in the backyard it took a dark twist.
How many movie directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter, but the last one has to be M. Night Shyamalan, to give it a twist at the end.
Why is a pig M. Night Shyamalan's favorite animal?
Cause it has a little twist at the end.
What is M. Night Shyamalan's favourite dance?
The samba
Bet you thought it was the twist
Dating Spin Doctor
My girlfriend told me that I twist everything that she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.
I've written a detective novel set in a bretzel bakery
It has a great twist at the end.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Oliver Twist steps up to the master and says...
"Please Sir. I want some more."
The master leans over the table and glowers down at the boy. "Everyday you ask for more, and everyday you get a thrashing for it. Now tell me boy, is the gruel really that good?"
"No Sir, but I love the thrashing."
What happens when you twist a car?
You get a Mercedes-Bends.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
shyamalan m night's wife never lets him play with her n**......
Because it always ends in a twist.
In unexpected twist attorney Michael Cohen is suing his Michael Cohen for breach of a confidentiality agreement.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A married man man finds a magic lamp...
He rubs the lamp a few times and a genie comes out and says You are my new master and I'm a genie with a twist so whatever you wish your wife gets two of!
The man says I wish for a mansion! The genie says Okay, but your wife gets two!
He wishes for a million dollars, and his wife gets two million.
For his final wish he looks at the genie and says I wish I was beaten half to death.
Would spinning in your grave be considered a plot twist?
--obligatory text--
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Plot Twist
A hotel receptionist gets a call*
Man: Hello, I'm in room 210, you need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window.
Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal problem. We cannnot help you with that.
Man: Listen you idiot. The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE problem.
Plot Twist
I thought I was gonna win fortnite game but I LOST no victory Royale 😂😂😰😝
Recently, I watched a movie where the protagonist died from testicular torsion
Didn't really expect that twist
I like Twisted Treeline more than Summoner's Rift
I get flamed by 2 people instead of 4
Title of #864
#864 with a mild twist from #533
Wheel of Fortune is just like hangman
With a twist
What's Michael J. Fox favorite dance
The twist
Step One: Bop-it
Step Two: Twist It
Step Three: Profit
I saw M. Night Shyamalan at a dancing competition today.
What a twist.
Did you see the movie about Chubby Checker?
it has a great twist
A Pavlovian Twist
The ultimate Pavlovian twist is that whenever you hear the name Pavlov you think of a dog
Roll, roll, roll your joint, twist it at the end
Spark it up, take a drag and pass it to... myself I guess. Sorry, social distancing and all, roll your own.
