Twist Jokes
132 twist jokes and hilarious twist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about twist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A meta description for an article with the title "Twist Jokes" might read: "This article contains hilarious jokes inspired by Oliver Twist, mind twists, brain twists, Saturday twists, word twists, sewn, wrenches, and twist and turns. Read on for a good laugh!"
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Funniest Twist Short Jokes
Short twist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The twist humour may include short spins jokes also.
- My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
- I went to a disco last night. I went to a disco last night. They played The Twist, I did the Twist. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...I got kicked out for that one.
- How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
- They played the Macarena, I did the Macarena. They played the Twist, I did the twist. They played Come On eileen… …I got kicked out for that one…
- I went to a dance. First they played 'Jump', so I jumped.
Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted.
Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out. - I rolled my first joint last night! Today I have an ankle the size of a football. :(
- Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks,"Olive or twist?"
- I went to a wedding and they played "The Twist" so I did the Twist, then they played "Macerena" so I did the " Macerena then they played "Come On Eileen" So I was told to leave
- Most people think I'm sick and twisted... But I'm not! I have the heart of a little girl.
In a jar.
On my desk. - World tounge-twisting champion was just arrested. It is expected that he will be given a really tough sentence.
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Twist One Liners
Which twist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with twist? I can suggest the ones about trick and twit.
- I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists I am conflicted
- I've just been on Trip Advisor Absolutely no help about a twisted ankle and a grazed knee
- What do you call a nun stuck in a tornado? Twisted Sister.
- What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common? Both are sick and twisted.
- Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam? It said "twist to open"
- What did Oliver Twist order at the Indian restaurant? Please, can I have samosa?
- What did the bartender say when Charles Dickens ordered a martini? Olive or twist?
- What is a drill's favorite dance? The Twist, but they also like de walts on occasion
- My friend said I twist everything to my advantage. I took it as a compliment.
- People with scoliosis are the same as you or I... But with a twist.
I'll see myself out. - What do you call a reservoir with many turns and zigzags? A twisted cistern
- The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies They are always so twisted.
- What is M. Night Shyamalan's favorite pastry? A cinema-n twist.
- My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan. It's nothing with a twist.
- I was going to make a joke about knots…. But it's way too twisted for this sub.
Plot Twist Jokes
Here is a list of funny plot twist jokes and even better plot twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My life is like going to see a M. Night Shyamalan film....bizarre characters, lots of plot twists and I want my money back.
- I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve. What a plot twist
- A poem I read to my gf while proposing Roses are Red
Today is the Day
Plot Twist
I'm Gay - I'm writing a book with a huge plot twist So that you'll think:
"Oh, this is how it's gonna be"
And then it turns out to be completely different
Because I'm not actually writing a book. - Plot twist, Kylo Ren is not an only child He's a Solo child
- What dance move catches everyone by surprise? The Plot Twist!
- What do you call an unexpected wiggle on a straight graph? A plot twist.
- So what do you all think of the new House of Cards? I have to say that whole plot twist with Trump becoming the new president was quite unexpected.
- Want to hear a plot twist? Tolp.
- So I rotated my coordinate system about the Z-Axis.. Plot twist!
Twist And Turns Jokes
Here is a list of funny twist and turns jokes and even better twist and turns puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Some good advice on how to pick up girls Bend at the knees and lift slowly. Avoid turning or twisting your body.
- I hope I'm not reincarnated as a doorknob in my next life... Their lives are nothing but twists and turns.
- My personal trainer in Moscow surprised me by making me do a weird turning movement while holding a medicine ball. I guess you can say it was a Russian Twist.
- My favorite movie plot twist... ...was when Leia turned out to be a skywalker.
- What is s**... like? s**... is like a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs, twists and turns... and someone's t**... is always sore afterwards
Oliver Twist Jokes
Here is a list of funny oliver twist jokes and even better oliver twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Literary Humor. I ordered a martini with an olive and a twist of lime.
The bartender served it with no olive or twist.
I gave him the Dickens. - Did you hear about the new Indian version of Oliver Twist? "Please, can I have samosa?"
- Oliver Twist has everything I ever wanted in a book I really couldn't ask for more.
- How did the orphans in Oliver Twist communicate with each other? Through *more*se code!
- What did the Indian Oliver Twist say to the orphan master? Please sir, can I have samosa?
- What did Oliver Twist say at the s**... auction? Please sir, I want some moors.
Word Twist Jokes
Here is a list of funny word twist jokes and even better word twist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Challenge Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed
Howlingly Hilarious Twist Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about twist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make twist pranks.
Row row row your boat
Roll roll roll your joint. Twist it at the end. Take a puff and that's enough. Now pass it to a friend.
Did y'all hear about the new Exorcist movie? Apparently there's a twist.
The devil comes to take the priest out of the kid.
Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
A: Separatists and small pox.
A man and wife went to a new dance club...
The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.
The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.
The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.
What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?
Well, that was an unexpected twist!
The Purist by Ogden Nash
I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
Charles Dickens had writer's block…
He had a contract due for a new novel, but he hadn't even thought of a title yet. He went into the local pub and asked the barman for a Martini.
"Olive, or twist?"
So I'm at the dentist's office...
...in the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."
What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?
They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.
A really twisted joke
What do ted bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common?
They both left bodies in four states.
a man walks in to a Chinese restaurant
He was asked to wait at the bar until a table was available. The bartender asked "what would you like?" The man answered, "I'd like a Stoli with a twist." The bartender paused for a moment then said " Once upon a time, there were three little pigs...."
Gameshow idea
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left or the straight man is out. If the g**... manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the last 2 people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here's the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just think they are the one straight man.
A joke about a hangman's noose...
You probably thought it's knot funny, but there's a twist at the end.
What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?
A large twist cone.
After watching all of M. Night Shyamalan's movies I realized the biggest twist...
...his career has been dead the whole time.
M.Night Shamaylan Joke
When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?" When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist?"
My 5-year-old niece's twist on an old pirate joke
**Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?
**Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up.
*...she cracks me up*
My friends told me I needed to loosen up....
so we went to a club and had a few drinks, after the 5th one I was ready dance.
So I went to the dance floor and then "The Twist" began to play, and I did The Twist.
Then "The Hustle" began to play, and I did The Hustle
Then "Come on Eileen" played and I got banned from the club.
I want to write a s**... charged novel with an FBI twist.
*Fifty Raids A Day*
Why does M. Night Shyamalan love raising pigs?
They all have twist endings.
10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?
Because one more would be one-f**... bowl of chili!
Did you hear that M. Night Shyamalan is making a new movie about a ninja with a n**... f**...?
You'll never see the twist coming
Ants Dancing
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
What's the difference between committing seppuku and impaling yourself with a sword?
They're the same thing but committing seppuku comes with a little twist.
Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?
The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!
I went to a dance club last night...
>They played 'The Twist', and so I did the twist.
>They played 'Jump', and I jumped.
>They played 'Come on Eileen', and I got kicked out of the club.
-Not mine, but I thought I'd share.
I went to a dance club last night...
They played "The Twist, " so I twisted.
Then they played "Jump, " so I jumped.
Then they played "Come on Eileen, "
....and I got thrown out. :-(
I was at a nightclub
They played just dance I just danced
They played twist I twisted
They played jump I jumped
They played come on Eileen, I was kicked out of the club
I went to a party the other day and danced to all the songs.
They played the twist so I did the twist. They played jump so I jumped. I got kicked out after they played come on Eileen...
Don't worry that's not true - I don't know what her name was
When I was in college I agreed to go out dancing at a club with some pals for my friend Eileen's birthday...
I don't really like to dance, so they had to twist my arm a bit, but when I got there I started to have a lot of fun.
They played "The Twist" and I did the twist!
They played "The Hustle" and I did the hustle!
Then they played "Come On Eileen"...
I just watched a knot making documentary, it was really good!
Especially that ending, what a twist.
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.
I was at a retro night down at the club
The DJ played "The Twist", so I did the twist. Then he played "The Macarena", and I did the Macarena. When he played "Come on Eileen", that's when the police arrested me.
I went out to a nightclub
They played the Twist, so I did the Twist.
They played the Cha-Cha Slide, so I did the Cha-Cha Slide.
They played Come On Eileen.
I'm banned from that nightclub, but I got a sweet restraining order.
You are not supposed to twist measuring sticks to measure curves
But I've always been willing to bend the rulers
My Father always said his children are his treasures.
When he buried Debbie in the backyard it took a dark twist.
What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite donut?
The cinnamon twist.
How many movie directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter, but the last one has to be M. Night Shyamalan, to give it a twist at the end.
Why is a pig M. Night Shyamalan's favorite animal?
Cause it has a little twist at the end.
I was at an office party last night.
They played the Twist and I twisted, they played Jump Around and I jumped around. Unfortunately, I was asked to leave when they played Come on Eileen
They played Do the Twist and i did the twist. They played Do the Hustle and i did the hustle. They played Come On Eileen....
...now I'm banned from the club.
What is M. Night Shyamalan's favourite dance?
The samba
Bet you thought it was the twist
Dating Spin Doctor
My girlfriend told me that I twist everything that she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.
What was the plot twist in the movie 'Baby Driver'?
Kevin Spacey was the baby driver.
I've written a detective novel set in a bretzel bakery
It has a great twist at the end.
The Dance Club
I went to a dance club about a week ago...
They played "The Twist", so I did the twist.
They played "Do the Hustle", so I did the hustle.
They played "Come On Eileen"...I got kicked out for that one.
Oliver Twist steps up to the master and says...
"Please Sir. I want some more."
The master leans over the table and glowers down at the boy. "Everyday you ask for more, and everyday you get a thrashing for it. Now tell me boy, is the gruel really that good?"
"No Sir, but I love the thrashing."
What happens when you twist a car?
You get a Mercedes-Bends.
A married man man finds a magic lamp...
He rubs the lamp a few times and a genie comes out and says You are my new master and I'm a genie with a twist so whatever you wish your wife gets two of!
The man says I wish for a mansion! The genie says Okay, but your wife gets two!
He wishes for a million dollars, and his wife gets two million.
For his final wish he looks at the genie and says I wish I was beaten half to death.
So i went to a dance club the other night...
... I had a great time
They played the Macarena, so I did the Macarena.
They played Jump Around, so I jumped around.
They played The Twist, so I did The Twist.
Then they played Come on Eileen, so I was promptly kicked out of the club.
Plot Twist
A hotel receptionist gets a call*
Man: Hello, I'm in room 210, you need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window.
Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal problem. We cannnot help you with that.
Man: Listen you idiot. The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE problem.
Recently, I watched a movie where the protagonist died from testicular torsion
Didn't really expect that twist
Title of #864
#864 with a mild twist from #533
I was at the club, dancing the other night
While on the dance floor, the DJ started playing the Twist, so I did the twist!
After that was done, he played the Bump, so I did the bump.
And after that one, the Macarena, same story.
Then 'Come on Eileen' came on... That's when I got kicked out
Did you see the movie about Chubby Checker?
it has a great twist
A Pavlovian Twist
The ultimate Pavlovian twist is that whenever you hear the name Pavlov you think of a dog
I was at the club last night
And they played 'Twist and Shout!' So I started to Twist and Shout.
They then played 'Jump Around' so I started to jump around.
Then they played 'Come on Eileen' and they kicked me out!
A bit of rope walks into a bar...
A bit a rope walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve ropes here." The rope walks out of the bar and proceeds to twist himself around into a tangled mess. He then tousels the ends of himself before walking back into the bar. The bartender says "Aren't you that bit of rope I just kicked out?" to which the rope replies "Nope, I'ma 'fraid not"
I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"
.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.
Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!
So I went to a club on friday night...
So I went to the club near my road and the DJ started playing Jump Around so I started jumping around. Next the DJ played the Twist, so natuarally, I did the twist. Then the DJ played come on Eileene, I got kicked out.
Roll, roll, roll your joint, twist it at the end
Spark it up, take a drag and pass it to... myself I guess. Sorry, social distancing and all, roll your own.
I love dances at weddings ...
Especially since I'm not a great dancer. Most of the songs tell you what to do. Like when they play "Do The Twist," you twist. They play "Jump Around", you jump around ... There was, however, that unfortunate night I got kicked out when the DJ played "Come On Eileen."
