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Twins Separated Jokes

18 twins separated jokes and hilarious twins separated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about twins separated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Twins Separated Short Jokes

Short twins separated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The twins separated humour may include short twins jokes also.

  1. A friend of mine said, Wow! Your wife and your daughter look like twins. I said, Well, they were separated at birth.
  2. My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them. I have an uncle, once removed.
  3. As I was introducing my family to our new neighbors, the guy exclaimed, Wow! Your wife and daughter look like twins! I chuckled and said... Well, they *were* separated at birth!"
  4. Two conjoined twins, attached by the face, have successfully been separated today. Since the operation they've done nothing but argue.
    Having once been so close, they no longer see eye to eye.
  5. My dad was born with a conjoined twin He was the uncle on my dad's side. But don't worry, the doctors were able to separate them. Now he's my uncle once removed.
  6. I bought two mattresses the other day I really only needed one, but when I went to buy it, I saw that it was a twin, and I didn't want to separate them.
  7. My friend said, "Your wife and daughter look like twins!" Nodding, I replied, " Yeah well..." "They *were* separated at birth!"
  8. My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth. I have an uncle, once removed.
  9. TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined twins. Well it is side-splitting.
  10. There's this condition where twins are connected at the elbow and always laugh together, never separately. It's called conjoined Humor

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Twins Separated One Liners

Which twins separated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with twins separated? I can suggest the ones about pair twins and conjoined twins.

  1. Yo mama such a homewrecker... She separates conjoined twins
  2. Why did the Siamese twins move to Eastern Ukraine? They wanted to separate.

Delightful Fun Twins Separated Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about twins separated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sets twins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make twins separated pranks.

I got arrested last night for m**......

I can't remember too much, I was out drinking till late. Once I left the pub I saw two young men fighting. It took some effort but I successfully managed to separate them.
The judge says they were Siamese twins conjoined at the head.

Two twins were separated at birth

One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."

My father was a conjoined twin. I always referred to his brother as "my uncle on my father's side."

But everythings ok now. They were able to surgically be separated. He's now "my uncle, once removed."

A married couple went to a lawyer to get a divorce.

Since they had three kids the lawyer asked, "How should we separate them between you two?".
They two discussed for five minutes and then the woman said, "We'll be back in 10 months".
Ten months later, they were blessed with a pair of twins.