twin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious twin puns

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.

It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

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Genders are like the Twin Towers

There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject.

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Genders are like the twin towers

There used to be 2 of them but now it's a touchy subject

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I once dated a girl with a twin.

People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.

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I once dated a girl with a twin

People ask me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Jill colored her nails purple and bob had a cock

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What do the twin towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about.

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I once dated a girl who had a twin.

I once dated a girl who had a twin.

People always asked me how I could tell them apart.

It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.

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Why are the twin towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

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I dated a twin once. People always asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple. Ashley painted her nails pink

And Michael had a Penis.

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My wife is leaving me

I was having sex with her twin when she came in. I tried telling her I was doing it because thought it was her. She didn't buy it.

It didn't help that his dick was in my ass.

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My buddy told me he had a threesome with his girlfriend and her twin.......

I asked how he could tell them apart. He said "Her brother has a mustache."

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Incorrect usage of the word 'Fuckin'

Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick - How you doing?

Bob - Fine. Hey will you do me a favor... go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are fuckin freezin.

Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 21 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.

He tells 'em - Your brother sent me up to have sex with both of you.

They say "Prove it."

Mick shouts "Bob... both of them?"

Bob shouts back "Of course!! Whats the point of fuckin one?"

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I just found out my wife has an identical twin

I saw her on Tinder.

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My buddy tells me he had sex with his GF and her twin the other night.

I asked him how he told them apart.
He says, "well her brother has a mustache"

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My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

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My wife's fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time.

She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman

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Slip of the Tongue

Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"

Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."

Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"

Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"

Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"

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Two biologists get married and have twin girls.

They name one Jessica and the other Control.

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Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun's evil twin?

He was tragically malicious.

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Gender is like the Twin Towers

There used to be two, and now it's a really touchy subject to bring up

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My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother's surprise party.

That's when I realized he was her favourite twin.

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What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2

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Both of them?

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs an get me slippers?

No bother, he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.

Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both.

Fook off you liar! .

I'll prove it, Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, Both of them, Paddy?

Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?

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My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding.

He's not happy about it either.

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I once dated a twin

Years ago I dated a twin.


My friend asked me 'how do you tell them apart?'


I explained 'Well, Rebecca has agreed to wear green nail polish every 2nd day...and Stephen has a dick'

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What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two

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I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother...

... whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with "When I was your age...." then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation.

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Genders are like the twin towers

There used to be 2 of them, but now it is a sensitive topic.

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Why is the tower of Pisa tilted?

Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

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Are they twins?

A man was shopping at the grocery store, minding his own business. Carelessly scanning the aisles, he spots one of the most hideous women he'd ever seen,dragging her 2 kids along.

"Excuse me, are they twins? "

" They're not even the same age,and they look nothing like each other! Why would you assume that they are twins? "

" Because I find it hard to believe that someone fucked you twice. "

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Genders are like the twin towers

There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive subject.

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If 9/11 had happened in July...

7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.

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Genders are like the twin towers....

There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive topic

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Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy,

who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"

"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.

"Hello there girls, your dad sent me up here to fuck ya both."

"Fuck off you liar!"

"I'll prove it," Murphy says.

So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"

"Of course, what's the use of fucking one?"

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Mick visits Bob...

Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick - How you doing?

Bob - Fine. Hey will you do me a favor... go upstairs and get me my fuckin slippers. My feet are fuckin freezin.

Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 21 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.

He tells 'em - Your brother sent me up to have sex with both of you.

They say "Prove it."

Mick shouts "Bob... both of them?"

Bob shouts back "Of course!! Whats the point of fuckin one?"

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What are the best Twin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Twin? Well, here are the best Twin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Twin pick up lines to share with friends.

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