Twelve Year Old Jokes

37 twelve year old jokes and hilarious twelve year old puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about twelve year old that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Twelve Year Old Short Jokes

Short twelve year old jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The twelve year old humour may include short twelve jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a Zit? A zit will wait till your twelve years old to come on your face.
  2. I caught my twelve-year-old son looking up women's skirts today, I told the bartender. That's pretty normal for a twelve-year-old, isn't it?" he asked.
    Not on Amazon it isn't" I said.
  3. I've decided to become a better father, so I'm down to five cigarettes a day now. The rest of the pack I give to my twelve year old son.
  4. I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and in my basement.
    (Joke was told to me by my cousin)
  5. My jokes are like those of a twelve year old At least, that's what your mother told me last night
  6. I like my women like I like my whisky Twelve years old and named Jack Daniel's for some reason
  7. How are the start of a hockey game and a twelve year old girl alike? They're both having their first period.
    *This joke is presented courtesy of my boyfriend*
  8. Do you know the difference between twelve-year-old scotch and baby formula? No? Then you're sure as h**... not babysitting for my kids!

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Twelve Year Old One Liners

Which twelve year old one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with twelve year old? I can suggest the ones about six year old and teenage.

  1. I like my women like I like my wine... Twelve years old and in the cellar.
  2. What breaks when you give it to a twelve year old? Her hips.
  3. I like my men how I like my wine. Twelve years old and locked in a basement.
  4. I like my girls like I like my whisky... twelve years old and mixed up in coke.
  5. I like my girlfriends like I like my scotch Twelve years old and mixed up with coke
  6. What do fortnite and your mom have in common? Every twelve year old is into them.
  7. Jarrod has a 6 inch for breakfast a 6 inch for lunch and a twelve year old for dinner.
  8. Why do all priests eat McDonalds? Because they love twelve year old meat!
  9. My wife has the body of a twelve year old. Not bad considering her age..
  10. My twelve year old son just got engaged to an older man. He went to Jared!
  11. I like my r**... like I like my women Twelve years old and mixed up with Coke.

Twelve Year Old Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about twelve year old you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean teenage girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make twelve year old pranks.

Vladimir Nabokov walks into a bar...

The bartender looks to him and says, "What'll it be?" He orders a glass of Redbreast and chats with the bartender awhile. The night grows old and the bar starts to clear out. Eventually he says to the barkeep, "You know, I like my whiskey like I like my women." The barkeep sets aside a freshly polished glass and says, "Yeah, I like my whiskey twelve years old, too."

Man walks into a pharmacy . . .

. . . and asks the pharmacist for birth control for his twelve-year old daughter. The pharmacist looks shocked and asks incredulously, "Your TWELVE year-old daughter is s**... active?!" The man responds emphatically, "Hmmph, I wish! She mostly just lays there and cries."

Twelve-year-old Timmy was talking with his classmate, Lisa...

Timmy: "Hey Lisa, I'll give you a dollar if we can go in the closet and you let me stick my finger in your belly button."
Lisa: "Okay."
They go into the dark closet.
Lisa: "Hey Timmy! That's not my belly button!"
Timmy: "That's okay. That's not my finger."

A twelve year old is watching ghostbusters 2 for the first time with his father.

Kid : Dad what's that?
Dad : A walkman
Kid : and that?
Dad : A dark room for devoloping photos.
Kid : and those?
Dad : The twin towers.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street

... when they happen across a basketball court full of twelve-year-old boys shooting hoops. The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, you want to go screw those kids?" And the rabbi replies with a shrug, "Out of what?!"

A New Kind of Speech Therapy

So there is a twelve year old boy who has never uttered a sound. He just DOESN'T speak. His mother has spent a fortune on various doctors, but no success.
One day she meets an old friend who's child had a similar problem. She suggested a certain specialist who might be able to help, but she said "I have to warn you, his methods are a little frightening!".
The woman takes her son to this new doctor, and he gives the boy a complete physical examination. At one point the Doc asks the boy to drop his shorts, and close his eyes. The boy does so, and the doctor grabs the boys t**... and twists them.
The boy screams out "AAAAAAYYYY!!!"
The doctor says "Good. Tomorrow we work on B!".

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on j**... Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.