Tweet Jokes

43 tweet jokes and hilarious tweet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tweet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Tweet Short Jokes

Short tweet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tweet humour may include short twitter jokes also.

  1. Greta Thunberg has just been confirmed as a huge polluter. Her Tweet to Tater-Tot was easily the biggest burn in history.
  2. I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far.
    He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of years now and hasn't tweeted them yet.
  3. I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far. He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet.
  4. I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test... ...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well.
  5. Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.
  6. Jeb Bush just tweeted a picture of a gun engraved with 'Gov. Jeb Bush' with the caption 'America' At least he'll never have to get it re-engraved
  7. My girlfriend broke up with me on Twitter. I hope she tweets him better than she tweeted me.
  8. Trump administration is good because its been more than 100 days and he still hasn't tweeted the nuclear launch codes
  9. What do you get when you kiss a canary? Chirpes.
    It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease.
  10. BLACK SUPERMAN I hope they cast a black Superman. It would nice for a brother to finally be faster than a speeding bullet.

    Credits:Someones Tweet

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Tweet One Liners

Which tweet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tweet? I can suggest the ones about twit and telegram.

  1. What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bird? A bird can still tweet.
  2. Jimmy Kimmel should have floyd mayweather read mean tweets after the fight Oh wait
  3. How does a baby bird like to travel on the spring equinox? By tweet-er plane!
  4. How do you know spring is here? The birds tweet about it!
  5. Whats the difference between trump and a bird One of them can still tweet
  6. Why does Donald Trump tweet at 3 AM? Because it's 10am in Moscow during business hours.
  7. Elon musk should tweet about my weight So it would plummet, too.
  8. My doctor got banned from twitter. Now he is unable to tweet any of his patients.
  9. President Trump begrudgingly updates his conditions by simply Tweeting: Coughfefe
  10. How does Elon Musk's wife call him to dinner? Elon, time tweet!
  11. I like dark humor So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets.
  12. Did you see Trump's latest tweet? Neither did I
  13. When birds get married, who do they marry? Their tweet-hearts.
  14. What happened when the sparrow flew into the electric fan ? Shredded tweet.
  15. What starts on a toilet seat and ends up in Smithsonian Presidential Tweet

Tweet joke, What starts on a toilet seat and ends up in Smithsonian

Delightful Fun Tweet Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about tweet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quote jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tweet pranks.

Why does Donald Trump finish nearly every tweet with an exclamation point?

Because he thinks periods are g**....

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?

*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*

The Pentagon is in the middle of switching up their nuclear codes..

They want them to be longer, in order to make them more secure. It's not because they're worried about spies cracking the codes. It's just that they want them to be over 140 characters so Trump can't tweet them out.

We went out on a date

Me: I slay werewolves for a living.
Date: Haha, always joking around. Anyway, I read that tweet you sent to me, it was so funny, I howled!
Me: *Unsheathing silver cutlass* You What??

James Caan shared this one in his famous Twitter fashion

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. End of tweet

Does anyone know if Snap, Crackle, and Pop have a Twitter account?

I could really go for a Rice Krispies tweet.

I couldn't remember what the brown rough stuff was on the outside layer of tree trunks...

I asked my cat and she said, "Meow". No help.
I asked my bird and he said, "Tweet". Useless.
I asked my dog and they said "Rhytidome, you buffoon."

journalism's "Five W's" Revised

1) Who
2) What
3) Who Tweeted about it?
4) What did they tweet?
5) What other unrelated bs is happening?

What do you say when an oil company CEO wakes up to a tweet saying that he's fired?

Crude Awakening!

Rihanna was going to tweet about the Ebola crisis.

Unfortunately Chris Brown beat her.

I tweeted a joke about a b**..., and a few hours later a b**... happened. So I got a call from the FBI, and needless to say they weren't friendly.

I guess my joke was too soon.

What do infinity war and a tweet have in common?

They both have 280 characters

-Neutrino. Knock knock.

\-We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
\-Hipsters liked neutrinos before they arrived.
\-I wrote a speed of light joke...but a neutrino beat me to it.
\-A. To prove particles can travel faster than light Q. Why did the neutrino cross the road?
\-I'm going to tweet my neutrino joke yesterday.

A s**..., a m**..., and a Chick walk into a bar.

The s**... says, "Une tequila por favor."
The bar tender gives it to him.
The m**... says "Ah'll 'ave a pint o' Guinness."
The Chick says "Tweet tweet."

The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a "Tweet" to Mayweather . . .

Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it.

Some very important people need to remember the Golden Rule.

Tweet others the way you would want to be tweeted.

Tweet joke, Some very important people need to remember the Golden Rule.