Tuxedo Jokes
49 tuxedo jokes and hilarious tuxedo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tuxedo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Dive into this collection of playful tuxedo jokes featuring cats, penguins, and even a man named Waits! Learn why the Canadian tuxedo is a classic outfit, and what animals wear a necktie better than any human. Get ready to laugh at these quirky tuxedo-themed jokes!
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Funniest Tuxedo Short Jokes
Short tuxedo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tuxedo humour may include short suit and tie jokes also.
- A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says… ... "Fine. suit yourself."
- I threw the dog a ball the other day It was a bit extravagant but he looks great in a tuxedo!
- My friend once got an invite to a party that said "black tie only" But when he got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.
- My friend and I had a tuxedo contest But then we realized we both forgot a crucial clothing piece.
It was a tie. - I got an invitation to a black-tie-only wedding But when i showed up everyone were wearing tuxedos
- A group wearing tuxedos were sat down in a coffee shop, when a car suddenly smashed through the shop front. Thankfully there were no casual teas
- I still can't understand why my wife was disappointed with my choice of salad dressing I used the finest tuxedo!
- Two penguins are standing on an iceberg. One says to the other, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo!
The penguin responds, how do you know I'm not? - Why did the man with ED go tuxedo shopping? Because if he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impo'tant.
- What's the difference between a guy in a tuxedo on a bicycle and a bomb on a tricycle? A tyre.
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Tuxedo One Liners
Which tuxedo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tuxedo? I can suggest the ones about suit tie and black tie.
- Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range... But it wasn't his strong suit
- What did the oxygen atom in tuxedo say to the hydrogen atoms? Bond, Covalent Bond
- I got sent to court over a missing tuxedo Long story short, I lost the lawsuit as well
- What do you call a goose in a tuxedo telling the news? Media Proper Gander
- What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say? "I feel a bit overdressed."
- I make rabbit tuxedos for a living. I'm a hare-dresser.
- My dad works as a tailor specialising in creating tuxedos I want to follow suit
- Why didn't the tailor make a tuxedo out of plastic? It wasn't suit-able.
- I could see myself working at a tuxedo store... It suits me.
- (Happy Halloween) What's Black & White, and DEAD All Over? A zombie in a tuxedo!
- What's the French word for a deerskin tuxedo? Formal d'hide
Cheeky Tuxedo Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about tuxedo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fancy dress jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tuxedo pranks.
Guy takes his girlfriend to the prom...
So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom. And he's got a lot of work to do.
First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store. But there's a huge tuxedo line at the store. Finally he gets out of there and realizes he has to go buy a corsage, so he goes to a florist. But there's this big long corsage line at the florist. Finally he gets the corsage and has his tux and he's gotta go rent a limo. But there's this huge line when he gets to the limo place.
Finally after waiting and making all the arrangements, it's the night of the prom. He picks her up and takes her down there to get in, but there's this huge ticket line at the door. Finally they get in and they start dancing and having fun, and she says to him, "I'm hungry," so he goes to get her some food, but there's this huge buffet line. He gets her some food and they eat and they're dancing again and she says, "Now I'm thirsty, can you get me a drink?" So he goes to get her a drink and there's no punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy walks into a bar...
...and orders a drink. He's carrying a brown paper bag, which he sets down on the bar.
The bartender asks "What's in the bag?" The guy says "Wanna see?" He reaches into the bag and pulls out a very tiny grand piano and sets it on the bar. Then he reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny man dressed in a tuxedo. The little man sits down at the little piano and begins playing a song.
The bartender says "That's amazing! Where'd you get that?"
The guy explains he found a djinni's lamp, rubbed it, and was offered one wish from the djinni within.
"Have you still got that lamp? Can I give it a try?"
"Sure," says the man, reaching back into the bag and pulling out the djinni's lamp.
The bartender takes the lamp and rubs it. The djinni emerges and tells the bartender he can have one wish.
"Um... I wanna be rich!" exclaims the bartender. "I want a million bucks!" p**...! Suddenly the bar is filled with ducks. A million ducks.
"Hey!" complains the bartender. "I wished for a million *bucks* not ducks! Is your djinni hard of hearing or something?!"
To which the man says "You don't really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist, do you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the old black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
'Cause if I gonna be impotent, I better look impotent,too.
Prom
Prom was approaching at Central High School, and Doug needed a date. He got the nerve up to ask a popular and pretty girl, Susan, to prom. To his surprise, she said "yes." He was so excited, he went to a tuxedo shop that day to secure his rental. There was a very long line, as many other boys were renting tuxedos as well, but he waited patiently because he was so thrilled, and orders his tuxedo. A week passes. Doug realizes he wants to rent a limo for the big night to impress Susan, so he goes to a car rental shop. There's an even longer line and over a hundred people are waiting, but he's so excited that he waits and waits and finally secures his limo reservation. The big day approaches, and Doug can't contain his excitement. He goes to the flower shop to buy a corsage and a boutineer. Every guy in town is already waiting in line, but he patiently goes to the back and waits his turn. Hours pass, and he finally purchases his items. Flower in hand, he goes and picks Susan up for prom. The night is well, and Doug and Susan are having a blast. They're dancing and laughing and having a generally good time, and soon Susan leans in close to Doug and whispers that she'd like a glass of punch. So Doug, bent on getting her a drink, looks over to the drink tables and sees that there's no punch line.
Two Brooms
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
A high schooler was going to the prom with his girlfriend...
And as he was going through the list of things he needed, he realized he needed a well-tailored tuxedo. He arrived at the most prestigious store he could think of, to get the best tuxedo; however, there was an enormous line at the front counter, and he had to wait hours before he could obtain one. He then discovered he needed chocolate, so he went to the best chocolate store in town to get the greatest chocolates for his prom date. But again, the line was extremely long. He had to wait another hour and a half just to get the chocolates. He also decided he needed a limousine, so he called up the most expensive limousine service he could find. But yet again, it took hours and hours of waiting just to rent a limousine ride. He finally got to his high school prom with his girlfriend and they were dancing and having a good time. His girlfriend started to get thirsty, so she asked him if he can go over to the punch table to get some punch for her. As he walked up to the punch table, he then realized, that there was no punchline.
Penguin
One day a penguin decides to go to a party. He dresses in his usual tuxedo, and then drives over to the mansion. He eats his dinner and then it was time for dessert. Ice cream, the penguin's favorite! The penguin laps up the ice cream getting it all over his beak and face feathers. On his drive home his car breaks down and he calls for a tow. After the mechanic inspects the car he proceeds to tell the penguin "You blew a seal". To which the penguin replies "No, it's ice cream"
So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom...
So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom, and he's got a lot of work to do. First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store and there's a huge tuxedo line. Eventually he rents a tux and gets out of there and realizes he has to go to the florist. once he gets there he realizes there's a huge corsage line at the florist. Eventually he gets the corsage and has to go rent a limo, but there's a huge line when he gets to the limo place. Finally, after waiting for hours and making the arrangements, it's the night of the prom. He picks up his girl and takes her to get in, but there's an enormous ticket line. once they get in the start having some fun and dancing, but she tells him I'm hungry So he goes to get her some food, but there's a huge buffet line. He gets her some food and they eat. they go back to dancing and she says Now I'm thirsty, can you get me a drink? So he goes to get her a drink and there is no punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The guys go to the f**... of their life-long pal...
After a long eulogy and some beautiful music, the guys are overcome with emotion. The first guy walks up to the casket of his buddy.
"I know it's just a small token, but for everything you've ever done for me, buddy, all the times you helped me out. This is the least I could do."
He tucks a $50 bill into his buddy's tuxedo pocket, and he staggers away sobbing.
The second man, inspired by the gesture, walks up and places his own $50 bill in his buddy's pocket. "For all the beers you bought me, that I never had a chance to pay you back for." And he staggers away sobbing.
The third man, a lawyer, not to be out-done, says, "I know it's just a small gesture, but for all the times you've been there for me when I needed you, here's a token of my gratitude."
And he writes a check for $150, and takes the two fifties in change.
A kid works up the nerve to ask his crush to prom...
And first he must buy the tickets. So he heads to the ticket line and waits for about a half hour until he reaches the front and finally buys two tickets for him and his date.
Then he has to buy a tuxedo, so he heads over to the tux shop but due to prom season, it is overflowing with customers all waiting to get their prom tuxes. So he waits in line for about an hour until finally he can get fitted. He buys a green vest to match his date's dress.
Then he and his date decide they want to take a limo to prom, so he heads over to the limousine rental place and stands in line for an hour and a half waiting to order a limo. When he finally gets to the front, he orders a long white limo for 8 people.
The big day finally arrives and the kid and his date and their six friends all pull up to the dining hall in their white limo but because they've arrived a little late, they have to wait in line for about 25 minutes before they can get in.
Once in the dining hall, the kid and his date head to the dinner buffet and stand behind dozens of hungry students waiting to get their food. After a 35 minute line, they finally sit down with their food when the kid's date realizes she forgot to grab a beverage.
He heads over to the punch bowl to get her some juice and is surprised to see there's no punch line.
Me and my buddies go-to joke.
A high school senior is in a rush to get everything he needs ready for his high school prom the next day. First thing he needs to get is a tuxedo. He goes to the tux shop and there's a huge line. So he waits in the line, gets his tux, and goes on his way. The next thing he needs are flowers for his date. He gets to the flower shop, and again, there's a huge line. He waits in the line, gets his flowers, and goes on his way. The last thing he needs is his limo to take his date to prom in. He goes to the limo rental center, and once again, there's an enormous line. He waits in the line, rents his limo for the next day, and finally goes home. The next day he shows up to his dates house, tux on, flowers in hand, riding in a fancy limo. His date and him get to the prom, and start dancing. After a while he starts to get really thirsty. He asks his date, "Hey do you want something to drink?" She replies, "Oh sure, could you grab me some punch?" The guy leaves his date to get her some punch, and sure enough, there's no punch line.
The orchestra's new trumpet player
A local orchestra's trumpet player just died of old age. They start auditions so they can find a new one.
The judges call in the first candidate. He walks in wearing a beautifully tailored dark tuxedo. He pulls out an incredibly expensive trumpet. His trumpet case is lined with red velvet. He brings the gold plated instrument up to his mouth and starts playing.
And wow, he's terrible. The judges cringe as he clumsily stumbles through a few messy runs. Nearly everything he plays is hideously out of tune. They send him away and bring in the next candidate.
This guy looks exactly opposite from the other guy. His hair is messy. He hasn't showered in weeks. His beard has food particles in it. He opens a crumpled brown paper bag and pulls out a rusty trumpet. He shakily puts the instrument to his lips and starts playing.
And man, *he was worse.*
Going to the Prom
A boy decided to go to the prom. He needed a tuxedo, flowers, and a limo, so he went to the tux rental store. There was a huge tuxedo line, so he waited an hour and got his outfit. He went to the flower sop, where another huge line had formed, so he had to wait another hour. After he finally got his flowers, he went to the limo rental place, only to find an hour-long limo line. After he got his car, he got dressed, picked up his date, and went to the prom. After an hour of dancing, he got thirsty and went to get some punch. When he got to the able, he was relieved to find that there was no punch line.
A boy is going to buy tickets to prom...
...for him and his girlfriend. The line for the tickets is very long, but he waits it out. He then goes to rent a limousine and again there was a long line and again he waited it out. He needs one more thing, a tuxedo. So he goes to buy one and there's a long line, but he waits this one out too. So now comes the prom he and his girlfriend arrive in their newly rented limo, him in his tux and his girlfriend in her beautiful dress. They get into the prom and his girlfriend asks him to get her some punch. So he walks over to where the punch is, and there's no punch line.
A Boy is taking his Girlfriend to Prom...
His mom suggests he rent a limo. He goes to the limousine agency, but there's a long limo line. Finally, after waiting patiently, he gets the limo.
His dad tells him he should get a tux. He goes to the tailor to rent a tuxedo, but there is a long tuxedo line. Finally, after waiting patiently, he gets the tuxedo.
His sister tells him to get a nice corsage. He goes to the florist to buy a corsage, but there is a long corsage line. Finally, after waiting patiently, he gets the corsage.
The big day arrives, and he and his girlfriend show up for the prom. When they get inside, she mentions she's thirsty and tells him to get her some punch. He's pleased to discover that there's no punchline.
Why did the snowplow driver wear a tuxedo to work?
He wanted to be "dashing" through the snow
A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.
He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.
He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours.
After flowers he goes to get his tuxedo at the store and the line is huge again with everyone else getting their tux's too.
He finally makes it to the prom with his date, they arrive and he asks if she wants to go onto the dance floor. She says "I'm a little thirsty, can I get some punch first?" He says "ok" and goes up to get some punch and there is no punchline.
A boy asks a girl to prom..,
..and she says yes. Overexcited, he is told he must show up with a limo and a tuxedo. So he goes to the limo rental and waits in the limo line, and he gets the limo. Then, he goes to the tuxedo rental and waits in the tuxedo line. Finally, the big day comes, and he brings his date to prom. She asks him to get some punch. He goes over to get some punch, and realizes there is no punch line.
A guy finally got the nerve to ask his crush to prom.
He was surprised when she said yes. So to get ready he went to the tuxedo rental store but there was a long line. He waited and waited and finally got a tuxedo. Then he went to the flower shop to get her some flowers but there was a long line. He waited and waited and finally got her some flowers. Then he went to the limousine rental place but there was a long line. He waited and waited and finally got a limousine. The night of the prom they were having a blast and she said the was thirsty. He went to get punch and there was no punch line.
A Guy and his Girlfriend
A guy was taking his girlfriend to prom. Getting ready, he went to a tux rental shop. There was a huge line but he eventually got his tuxedo.
He then went to the florist. Again, there was a huge line, but he got the orchid in the end.
Then he went to the limo rental place, and there was a big line there too! But he eventually managed to rent one.
They got to the prom and danced for a little bit, and then his girlfriend asked for some juice. He went to get it – but there was no punch line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If Imma *be* impotant, Imma *look* impotant!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the black guy wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
He said if I'm going to be impotent I might as well look impotent.
A frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulde wearing a tuxedo
"Well isn't he beautiful" Says the bartender. "Where did you get him?"
"In France, there are tons of them." the parrot replies.
