Turn Signal Jokes
86 turn signal jokes and hilarious turn signal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about turn signal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Turn Signal Short Jokes
Short turn signal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The turn signal humour may include short signal light jokes also.
- If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.
- If you ever feel like your job has no purpose, always remember right now, there is someone who is installing a turn signal in a BMW
- If I was a cop I would be ticketing people for not using their turn signals.. Left and right
- If you ever feel useless in life Remember it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMW's
- There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored? The turn signals.
- I've seen aliens. I've seen Bigfoot. I've even fed a few fish to the Lochness Monster. But I still have never seen a bmw driver use his turn signals.
- What do you do if you see a BMW using a turn signal? Call the police, it's obviously stolen.
- You think YOU have a meaningless job? Think about the guy who makes turn signals at the BMW factory.
- If you ever feel like your job is pointless... Just remember that someone out there is in charge of installing turn signals on a BMW.
- If you ever think your job is pointless... ... think about the guy mounting turn signals on BMWs
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Turn Signal One Liners
Which turn signal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with turn signal? I can suggest the ones about traffic signal and stop sign.
- The Lord moves in mysterious ways. But you don't. Use your turn signal.
- 2 blondes are checking a car "Does the turn signal work?"
"Yes! No. Yes! No. Yes!" - What never needs maintenance on a BMW? The turn signal lightbulb
- I know women like to be mysterious... But turning signals are for safty purposes..
- Whats the worlds most useless job? installing BMW turn signals.
- If you ever feel useless Remember the guys who work at BMW to install the turn signals
- I saw a BMW driver using their turning signal! But then I woke up from my dream.
- If I had a dime for every time I saw a BMW turn without signalling ...I could buy a BMW.
- For Sale: 5yr old BMW Turn signals like new!
- What do you call a turn signal in Florida ? No one knows , they don't exist
- Ya know what's rarer than bigfoot? A BMW driver that uses their turn signal
- Did you know today is opposite day? All the BMW's on the road used their turn signals.
- I saw a BMW driver use his turn signal today... Too bad it was the wrong one.
- Did you know BMW's don't have turn signals? That's how they make them so affordable.
- Some people have no direction They should really use their turn signal more.
Turn Signal Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about turn signal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stoplight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make turn signal pranks.
A blonde and a brunette were in the car when the brunette asked the blonde to tell her if the turn signal is working. The blonde leans out of the car and replies, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No..."
A man bought a new car.
Next day he is driving his car to office.
On the way he was waiting for the Signal.
Suddenly he opened the door and got down.
Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?"
The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?"
Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: "Free Left Turn"
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
My life is a lot like that driver who signals right, but turns left.
A man is taking his son to buy his first car...
The son spots an old, used cop car at one of the lots. "Dad! I want that! It would be so cool! Can I test drive the cop car?" The father replies: "No, son. I want your car to have working turn signals and an accurate speedometer."
The cleaning operation!
A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in a restaurant. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly s**... his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? - I need to speak to him."She asks, Running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I`m afraid I can't," breathes the manager - clearly a**..., "he's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to s**... them gently.
"Tell him," she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
Why are turn signals great workers?
When they get tired and burn out, they work twice as hard.
Two hunters get lost in the woods...
One of them decides to fire into the air to try and signal for help. When no help comes, they decide to continue forward to try and find anyone who can give them a ride. Half the day goes by, while the hunters continue into the forest, firing into the air ever so often. Finally, dusk falls, and the two make a campfire for the night. One hunter turns to the other and says, "Boy, I sure hope we get someone's attention soon." "Yeah," says the second hunter, "we're starting to run out of arrows!"
What's the difference between someone who doesn't use their turn signal and h**...?
You know h**... will turn r**....
I would never buy a BMW, they're too cheaply made.
I mean, they don't even come with turn signals.
ELI5: Why doesn't BMW install turn signals on their cars?
Why was the cyclists right arm shorter than his left?
Because once he left his right turn signal on.
So I was at a conference for experimental philosophy...
and it was getting a bit dull so I turned to the guy next to me and asked
"So, what do you do?"
He lit up, eager to tell all.
"Well, I'm studying the effects of introducing rodents to Nihilistic thinking through an intricate series of signals and experiments. Nice to meet cha!"
Ah, I replied.....
Mice to Nietszche.
What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?
Turn signals
If you think that your job is useless and does not make any difference in the world,
consider that there are people out there making turn signals for BMW.
How do the ladies get Batman to come?
Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
If you ever feel useless...
Remember there is a someone in the BMW factory installing turn signals.
If you ever feel useless
Remember that someone's job is to install turn signal systems at BMW
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that never use
Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
Not making it up: I actually saw a turn signal used on a BMW.
I'm guessing it was borrowed.
What is the most useless job in the world?
The line workers responsible for making BMW turn signals
Hurricane Irma
Right now Irma is signaling for a left turn.
But it's Florida so, you know, you can't really be sure whats going to happen.
I have told my blone girlfriend to get outside the car and check if the turn signal works
She: working, not working, working, not working, working...
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
If you ever feel like your job is meaningless or without purpose, just remember...
That someone out there is installing turn signals on a BMW.
Another blonde joke
Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."
Why did h**... fail his drivers ed?
He used his turn signals on the two left turns but failed at the 3rd r**...
Why don't BMW's have turn signals?
They do, they just flash at a frequency poor people can't see.
If you ever feel like your life is without purpose
Just know there's a guy at the BMW factory who installs turn signals
I failed my driving test...
I totally forgot that my BMW had turn signals. =(
How can you stop other drivers from paying attention to some parts of the road?
Turn signal the other way
A doctor asks patient "Do you same s**... experience?"
Yes. Once I've changed lanes without turning signal.
If you ever feel useless, just remember
someone's job is installing turn signals on new BMWs
Just because a woman turn signals left
It doesn't necessarily mean she wants to go right, she could also go straight ahead just as well.
What do condoms and turn signals have in common?
If people used them, there would be less accidents
Audi's are more expensive than they have to be.
The German luxury car maker could sell much cheaper cars if they stopped shipping them with all those extra accessories that the owners never use anyways, like rear view mirrors, turn signals, side-view mirrors...
If you ever feel worthless in your life,
Remember that it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMWs.
Two guys driving in the highway with broken side mirror car
The driver wants to switch lanes and tells the passenger: Can you look if there any car is coming
The passenger turns and looks back and says: No there's no car coming .
Driver turns the signal on and proceeds to change the line and huge truck hits them.
Driver turns to passenger and screams: YOU SAID THERE WAS NO CAR!!!
The passenger replies: YOU SAID CAR, NOT A TRUCK!
P.S. old joke that my father told me
Ted is well into his third beer in the bar when Bill comes in.
"Hey Ted, how ya doin'?" asks Bill.
Ted turns his eyes to Bill and signals for another beer. "So so. My wife just ran off last night with my best friend."
"But Ted!" protests Bill. "*I'm* your best friend!"
"...Not any more," says Ted.
What can you always assume when buying a used BMW?
The turn signal will always be in brand-new condition.
If you ever feel like your life has no meaning
Just remember that there is a guy in the BMW factory installing turn signals.
A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.
He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a s**... First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.
When future autonomous cars are connected on a network and speak to eachother, they won't need turn signals anymore.
... So BMW owners will have to figure out some other safety system to just not use.
Modern cars are always bloated with unnecessary add ons
I mean, who needs turn signals on a BMW.
"Drive that thing like you stole it!"
One Friday night, when I was a teenager getting ready to go out, my Dad handed me the car keys and said, "Have fun, son. And remember. Drive that thing like you stole it!"
Upset, my Mom immediately asked why he would say such a reckless thing to his teenager.
To which my Dad replied, "Trust me, Sweetie. If he stole a car, he'd be driving the speed limit, using his turn signals, stopping at red lights, and heading home as soon as possible to avoid the attention of the cops."