Following is our collection of Turn jokes which are very funny. There are some turn flip jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these turn twist and turns puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
Because you don't turn your back on family.
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
Marry her.
Start a war.
... are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, 'The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late!'
They hold up the sign to cars passing by.
"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yells the first driver as he speeds by.
From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.
"Do you think," says the priest to the pastor, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
They turn off their Xbox.
Au-burn
^He^^He^^^He^^^^He
It's where I turn your mom upside down.
You can explore turn twirl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean turn stoplight dad jokes. There are also turn puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Remove an electron.
I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.
Just give it time.
Don't believe me?
Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!
Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around.
...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting naked in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see naked chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a naked girl before I'm married, I'll turn to stone and I felt something getting hard!"
He said "prove it."
So I pushed him off the balcony.
The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a bud, the Ceo of Miller gets a Miller, the head of coors orders a coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn, he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah" Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer,then neither will I.
I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.
one in a million turn out to be an actual human being.
"Hey, how much is this TV?"
The salesman replies "1 dollar."
"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"
The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."
"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"
"Yup."
"Wow, can't turn that down."
there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.
when do I get my adult supervision?
Teen: Of course not dad!
Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.
Turn it upside down ;)
A man was selling his TV on his front porch with a sign that says "$1". A bloke walks by and asks
'You're selling your TV for a dollar?'
'yup'
'It looks brand new!'
'It is.'
'What's wrong with it?'
'Oh the volume is turned all the way up and you can't change that'
'So whatever I watch the volume is on Max, and you're only selling it for a dollar?'
'yup'
'Wow, can't turn that down.'
You'll actually live long enough to get it.
... to keep Dora from exploring.
Alcohol IS a solution.
Who the fuck's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?
Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.
IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?
Customer: Nothing.
IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?
Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...
IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?
Customer: Nope. The power's out.
They're just waiting their turn
Couldn't turn it down.
they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.
"Imagine you're naked and in a big bed" I explained, "A beautiful woman on one side and a gay man on the other...
Who you going to turn your back on?"
Totally blew my mind
Hopefully if I turn the volume up loud I won't hear them.
But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"
"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."
They both turn o into an O .
"Rhino!"
"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."
He couldn't see himself doing it.
"I love my job, I'm my own boss.
Nobody tells me what to do…"
Then I said "turn left"
Just give it time.
So if you're a good driver watch out.
Teacher: Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters
Me: They aren't Silent, They are waiting their turn
He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"
The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their neighbour is"
I saw that the TV was in very good condition.
"Why is it so cheap? " I asked the seller
"The volume is stuck at max, and it can't be turned down" he replied
"So everything else works?" I asked
He turned it on, and sure enough everything worked, except the volume
"So you're gonna buy it?"
"A TV for $1? Can't turn it down"
Reverse cowgirl, you never turn your back on family.
Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"
Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...
Police: TURN AROUND!!
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!
One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful naked woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a naked woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!
Left and right
The cop makes his way up to the window and says, We're looking for two child molesters.
The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop.
We'll do it.
Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights
Dad: great, I'm taking you the strip club tonight.
18 year old: No, I already said I didn't want that.
Dad: Nicole, someone needs to work in this house.
They're just waiting their turn.
Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.
And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.
My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:
"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."
___________________
Because you never turn your back on family.
But I ain't no snitch
So I gather.
Tentacles
Turn off the lights...
I was in a taxi, then the driver said " I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do" then I told him to turn right...
A: Just stab it 23 times
There are spoilers for season 1, Handmaid's Tale
A truck drives by and the driver shouts you dumb religious wackos , makes the turn and drives off the cliff. The rabbi turns to the priest and imam and says you think we should change our signs?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the turn transform jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working turn signal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.