The Best 70 Turn Jokes

Following is our collection of Turn jokes which are very funny. There are some turn flip jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these turn twist and turns puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair?

Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.

Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Why don't hillbillies ever try reverse cowgirl?

Because you don't turn your back on family.

I was reading my emails...

The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;

"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."

And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?


How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant?

Marry her.

How do you turn lead into gold?

Start a war.

A priest and a pastor...

... are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, 'The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late!'

They hold up the sign to cars passing by.

"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yells the first driver as he speeds by.

From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," says the priest to the pastor, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn

^He^^He^^^He^^^^He

My new favorite sex position is called "wow".

It's where I turn your mom upside down.

Top Turn Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore turn twirl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean turn stoplight dad jokes. There are also turn puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment.

I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.

How do you turn a 3D printer into a 4D printer?

Just give it time.

Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool?

Don't believe me?

Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!

What's the speed limit for sex?

Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around.

Two boys are in the woods...

...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting naked in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see naked chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a naked girl before I'm married, I'll turn to stone and I felt something getting hard!"

I told my gay friend I could turn fruits into vegetables...

He said "prove it."

So I pushed him off the balcony.

Arthur Guinness

The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a bud, the Ceo of Miller gets a Miller, the head of coors orders a coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn, he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah" Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer,then neither will I.


I saw an advert that read: Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.

I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

Politicians are like sperm..

one in a million turn out to be an actual human being.

A man notices a TV for sale.

"Hey, how much is this TV?"

The salesman replies "1 dollar."

"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"

The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."

"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"

"Yup."

"Wow, can't turn that down."

If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember

there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.

So I just turned 21 and there is still no change in my eyesight...

when do I get my adult supervision?

Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club.

Teen: Of course not dad!

Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.

sapnu puas

Turn it upside down ;)

A man was selling his TV

A man was selling his TV on his front porch with a sign that says "$1". A bloke walks by and asks

'You're selling your TV for a dollar?'

'yup'

'It looks brand new!'

'It is.'

'What's wrong with it?'

'Oh the volume is turned all the way up and you can't change that'

'So whatever I watch the volume is on Max, and you're only selling it for a dollar?'

'yup'

'Wow, can't turn that down.'

It turns out vaccines cause cancer.

You'll actually live long enough to get it.

I just turned on nickelodeon and saw bob the builder building a wall...

... to keep Dora from exploring.

It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right....

Alcohol IS a solution.

TIL that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.

Who the fuck's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?

A day in the life of an IT guy...

Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.

IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?

Customer: Nothing.

IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?

Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...

IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?

Customer: Nope. The power's out.

The last four letters in "queue" are not silent

They're just waiting their turn

I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full"

Couldn't turn it down.

When the inventor of the USB dies...

they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

Bill Withers Duck joke

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.

My son asked me what a dilemma was?

"Imagine you're naked and in a big bed" I explained, "A beautiful woman on one side and a gay man on the other...

Who you going to turn your back on?"

Turns out my psychologist is also a prostitute...

Totally blew my mind

Nervous about watching new Game of Thrones with my parents, due to all the sex.

Hopefully if I turn the volume up loud I won't hear them.

A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.

But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"

"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."

What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common?

They both turn o into an O .

"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"

"Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

I was in a Uber today and the driver said,

"I love my job, I'm my own boss.
Nobody tells me what to do…"

Then I said "turn left"

How do you turn a three-dimensional printer into a four-dimensional printer?

Just give it time.

A lot of women actually turn into good drivers

So if you're a good driver watch out.

Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters

Teacher: Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters
Me: They aren't Silent, They are waiting their turn

God was creating all the countries and it was Canada's turn

He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"

The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their neighbour is"

I saw a TV for sale for 1$

I saw that the TV was in very good condition.

"Why is it so cheap? " I asked the seller

"The volume is stuck at max, and it can't be turned down" he replied

"So everything else works?" I asked

He turned it on, and sure enough everything worked, except the volume

"So you're gonna buy it?"

"A TV for $1? Can't turn it down"

What sex position are you not allowed to use in the south?

Reverse cowgirl, you never turn your back on family.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river

One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful naked woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a naked woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!

If I was a cop I would be ticketing people for not using their turn signals..

Left and right

A cop pulls over a car with two priests.

The cop makes his way up to the window and says, We're looking for two child molesters.

The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop.

We'll do it.

How do you make a room full of epileptics go nuts?

Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights

18 year old: Dad I turn 18 today!

Dad: great, I'm taking you the strip club tonight.

18 year old: No, I already said I didn't want that.

Dad: Nicole, someone needs to work in this house.

Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but…

They're just waiting their turn.

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.

Einstein: asks a question.

Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.

Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.

Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?

Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.

Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*

Einstein asks: What is it?

Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen.

And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.

R.I.P. dad

My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:

"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."

___________________

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama?

Because you never turn your back on family.

My Spanish teacher asked me to turn in my essay

But I ain't no snitch

You know, I think it's your turn to pick wild mushrooms. My girlfriend said.

So I gather.

How many tickles does it take to turn on a anime girl?

Tentacles

How do you stop an argument between deaf people?

Turn off the lights...

I am my own boss

I was in a taxi, then the driver said " I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do" then I told him to turn right...

Q: How do you turn a regular salad into a ceaser salad ?

A: Just stab it 23 times

Guys don't turn on the news right now

There are spoilers for season 1, Handmaid's Tale

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam stand on the side of the road holding signs saying the end is near .

A truck drives by and the driver shouts you dumb religious wackos , makes the turn and drives off the cliff. The rabbi turns to the priest and imam and says you think we should change our signs?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the turn transform jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working turn signal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes