Turkish Jokes

64 turkish jokes and hilarious turkish puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about turkish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This is a collection of some of the best Turkish jokes. If you are looking for a good laugh, then look no further than these hilarious jokes.

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Funniest Turkish Short Jokes

Short turkish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The turkish humour may include short turkey jokes also.

  1. Have a turkish joke A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"
  2. Just found out the Turkish President is getting into acting He shot a pilot a few month back
  3. How do you make Turkish coffee? You grind up 1.5 million armenian coffee beans and lie about it for a century.
  4. Turkish Joke A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
    We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall.
  5. After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... "As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."
  6. Another crudely translated Persian joke A Persian man asks a Turkish man "who do you like more, your mom or your dad?" to which the Turkish man replies "your mom!"
  7. Some of the biggest red flags I can think of are Danish, Chinese, Spainish, Turkish, or albanian And to a lesser extent, Canadian, Indonesean, Hatian, American, and Japanese
  8. Turkish gallows humor A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."
  9. What is the most heat resistant thing in the world? Tantalum carbide,
    Hafnium carbide,
    Grandmoms, Niki Lauda, Every italian,
    Turkish Guys in a kebap shop in Summer
  10. Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge? One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission.

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Turkish One Liners

Which turkish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with turkish? I can suggest the ones about kebab and coup.

  1. Have you heard of the turkish version of sudoku? It's called a pseudo-coup.
  2. Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting
  3. What's the best way to serve Turkey? Join the Turkish Army.
  4. The EU is like a box of chocolates; Nobody likes the Turkish.
  5. Have you ever tried Turkish food? You oughtta man!
  6. Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture? The Ottoman Empire.
  7. How do you dress like a Turkish person? Don a kebab.
  8. What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup? Erdogone
  9. Why did the Turkish army stay out of Syria? There were curds in their whey.
  10. What do you call an incontinent Turkish man? Mustafa Pee.
  11. What's the favourite toy of Turkish rulers? Beyblades.
  12. A small turkish family had a car accident. 18 people died.
  13. What are Turkish cattle best known for? Mootiny.
  14. Turkish fundraising dinner Donor Kebab
  15. What's a nickname for Turkish police officers? The Fez

Turkish Prison Jokes

Here is a list of funny turkish prison jokes and even better turkish prison puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about that Turkish prisoner named Stan who didn't pull his tea towards him? It was a con, Stan, tea no pull.
  • What do you experience when you meditate inside a Turkish prison? The deep state.
Turkish joke, What do you experience when you meditate inside a Turkish prison?

Laughable Turkish Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about turkish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make turkish pranks.

A Turkish man stopped by my convenience store and bought a gallon of milk. He comes back in an hour later with the same jug of milk, absolutely furious at me for selling him "bad milk!" I ask him what the problem is and he tells me its all


The three fathers

A jew, a turkish and a german guy are all waiting in the hospital, while their wifes are giving birth to their sons.
Through a mistake in the hospital, the three babies get confused and none of them knows which one is his.
The german guy says: "No problem dudes, I got this" and walks into the room with the babies.
Three minutes later, every father is holding his son in hands. The other two ask: "How did you do that!?"
"Easy", said the german, "I came in and yelled 'Heil h**...!'. My son raised his arm, the jew s**... himself and the turk cleaned it up."

An English guys digs the ground 100 feet...

and finds telephone wires, he says this proves that we had telephone 100 years ago. An American guy digs 200 feet and finds telephone wires, he says this proves we had telephone 200 years ago. A Turkish guy, digs the ground 2000 feet and finds nothing, he says this proves that we had cell phones 2000 years ago.

Two old friends meet in bar...

[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]

A german, a french and a turkish man on a plane

The plane is about to c**... unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.
The french man throws a baguette out of the window.
The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.
The german throws the turkish man out of the window.

s**... is like Kebab. When it's good, it's really good...

...and when I'm drunk I'm willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet.

From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...

The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout b**... BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"

What do you call a Turkish e**...?

A böner.

What's the difference between a Syrian chapel and a Turkish t**... camp?

America will let in people from the t**... camp.

TIL that Turkish has some weird pronunciation.

I mean, they pronounce Constantinople as Istanbul.

Why was a Turkish plane trying to bomb Greece?

It was on otto pilot.

What's the Turkish cannibals favorite meal?

o**... Doner

Turkish Political Humor

Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter

Marvel will introduce a turkish superhero in the second infinity war movie

Ayran Man

I asked my Turkish friend how they say "Armenian Genocide in his language

He had no words

A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.

He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."

Turkish saying about the Placebo effect

"If you take this medicine, you'll be cured in 7 days. If you don't take it, you'll be cured in one week"

Nasreddin hodja imparting wisdom (Original in Turkish, let's see if this works)

Two guys were in dispute and came to Nasreddin Hodja for his wisdom. Hodja listenened to the first one and said, "You are right". He listened to the second one, and said "You are right, too". His wife overheard this and said to Hodja, "Hodja these men provided completely diffrent viewpoints, but you said they were both right. What kind of wisdom is this? Hodja said, "You are right, as well".

Since other people liked the Turkish joke I translated, here's another one

Nasreddin Hodja was on his deathbed. He called her wife and told her to dress up nicely and wear makeup. She was confused about why he wanted that, so she asked him why.
Well, when the reaper comes he might like you more and take you with him instead of me.

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair.
And the most British thing of all?
"Suspicious of anything Foreign "

a joke translated from turkish

Once upon a time there was a pit in a village, people used to wound themselves from falling into the pit. 3 elders of the village unite to a find a solution to this pit.
First one says that we should place an ambulance next to the pit, that way people will get to the hospital faster
Second one says that we should build a hospital next to the pit that way it will be even faster
Before the third one could talk Chad jumps in and says "y'all are idiots why don't we fill this pit up and dig one up next to the hospital.

Turkish joke, Have you ever tried Turkish food?

jokes about turkish