Turkeys Jokes
55 turkeys jokes and hilarious turkeys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about turkeys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Turkeys Short Jokes
Short turkeys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The turkeys humour may include short jokes also.
- When christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days... I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
- Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
- The doctor said I should stop eating meat immediately for health reasons... I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.
- What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking turkey after Thanksgiving.
- My wife keeps getting mad at me for eating leftovers straight from the fridge. I told her that it's really hard to quit cold turkey.
- What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys? We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.
- My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her "you're eating turkey like everyone else".
- What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
- Why don't the Bulgarians, Greeks, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey.
- 1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.
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Turkeys One Liners
Which turkeys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with turkeys? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What sound does a Turkey make? "coup coup"
- I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
- I decided to become vegan today The hardest part is quitting cold turkey.
- Kids said they wanted a cat for Christmas. Normally we have turkey, but ok...
- If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear, Do you think Greece would help?
- If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear... Would Greece help?
- I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey
- Turkey cross the road Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken. - What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
- What's the best way to serve Turkey? Join the turkish Army.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
- What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey
- It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia
- I finally stopped eating deli meats... yep, I quit cold turkey!
- If Turkey was attacked from the rear Would Greece help?
Turkeys Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about turkeys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make turkeys pranks.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he s**... every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
A lady is shopping for a big family dinner
She goes to the market to get a turkey to roast, but she can't find one that is large enough to feed her entire family. She finds an employee and asks "Excuse me sir, do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No ma'am, I'm sorry... they're dead."
[Dont say this at the table today] what do turkeys and women have in common
The breast is the only good part
Why are Jews so afraid of turkeys?
Goebbels Goebbels Goebbels!
Its gone viral
Bird flu - 45 million dead chickens and turkeys.
What happens when Turkeys get the common cold?
They quit smoking.
Where do turkeys go to have a good time?
The Turkey Club
A lady was looking for a turkey...
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied "No they're dead."
What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the s**...?
Briiiiines...
Who celebrates thanksgiving in Canada?
All the turkeys that made it across the border.
Why are turkeys fat?
Because they gobble
I thought turkeys gobble.
It's doves that coup, right?
Time flies..
even if turkeys don't.
A gaggle of geese, a brood of hens, what do you call a group of turkeys?
A corporation.
What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of s**...
So I said, "you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."
What side do turkeys have the most feathers on?
The outside.
We trace hands to make turkeys.
Quite a handy technique.
Do you know why Turkeys make good warriors?
Because they ain't no chicken.
What do turkeys and fat chicks have in common
I'll only stuff them after they die
What do you call a group of Turkeys?
A Turkey Club
What's the death place for all Thanksgiving Turkeys?
A Gravyyard
Drowsy driving is just as dangerous as drunk driving and Turkeys cause drowsiness when eaten, so buy hams instead.
*This ad was funded by A Fuckton of Turkeys*
What do turkeys like to walk on?
Cobble cobble cobble
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the local supermarket,
But she was having trouble finding one that was large enough for her family.
She decided to ask the shop assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The shop assistant replied, "No ma'am, they're dead.."
Why did the turkey stick his leg in front of the football enthusiast?
Turkeys are full of trip da fan.
Two turkeys are looking at the sky at dusk
The other one asks the other one - Do you believe in life after Christmas?
What do turkeys make their streets out of?
Gobble-stones!
What do you call two turkeys fighting on thanksgiving?
A food fight.
how do you unlock a door on Thanksgiving?
with tur-keys
From a conversation at the the Thanksgiving table about the turkeys Trump pardoned
Why did John Lennon hate carrots?
Because he wanted to give peas a chance.
The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day
Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.
Irish animal rights activists have broken into a turkey farm.
They say they are going to release thousands of turkeys into the wild...
as soon as they've defrosted
A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...
He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"
The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."
I make vegetarian thanksgivings dinners
They're called chive turkeys
Happy Thanksgiving!
If the natives had given the pilgrams donkeys instead of turkeys, we would all be eating a**... for Thanksgiving!
I recently heard that Turkeys aren't allowed to play baseball.
No matter how many times they hit, they'll always hit Fowl b**....
Why do turkeys love thanksgiving?
Because they don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents