Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes
122 turkey thanksgiving jokes and hilarious turkey thanksgiving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about turkey thanksgiving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Turkey Thanksgiving Short Jokes
Short turkey thanksgiving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The turkey thanksgiving humour may include short thanksgiving turkey jokes also.
- Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
- What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys? We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.
- What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
- Why don't the Bulgarians, Greeks, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey.
- Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge? He had to quit cold turkey.
- I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me
- Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
- My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.
- Why did the cranberries turn red at Thanksgiving dinner?
Because they heard the turkey got stuffed! - Why do turkeys love thanksgiving? Because they don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents
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Turkey Thanksgiving One Liners
Which turkey thanksgiving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with turkey thanksgiving? I can suggest the ones about thanksgiving and happy thanksgiving.
- I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
- What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey
- It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia
- I'm not going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers anymore. This year, I'm quitting cold turkey.
- What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
- I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria.
- The EU was invited to a thanksgiving dinner but they refused to have turkey
- Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
- Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers? I'm trying to quit cold turkey.
- What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? All About That Baste.
- What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
- I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago.
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
- What did turkey do on thanksgiving? Changed its foreign policy on syria.
Cheerful Fun Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about turkey thanksgiving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean celebrate thanksgiving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make turkey thanksgiving pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The state dinner at the White House honored the prime minister of India, and the menu was vegetarian. How do you like that for Thanksgiving? No turkey, wrong Indians.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Q: What's brown and white and flies all over?
A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Most turkeys taste better the day after. My mother's tasted better the day before.
Help! This is my first time cooking for Thanksgiving. The turkey's been in the oven for two hours, and it's still running around!
There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids? If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
What do you call a turkey that's got no feathers? Thanksgiving dinner.
Scientists created a six-legged turkey for families who fight over the drumsticks. But the turkeys escaped, and no one can catch them.
You should be happy we're having turkey, rather than the turkey have us.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey...
...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
Why shouldn't you join alcoholics anonymous on Thanksgiving?
Because all they serve is cold turkey.
After Thanksgiving a woman continually finds her husband rummaging through the fridge...
... ravenously devouring leftovers from their Thanksgiving feast. It gets to the point where she begins to get worried and asks, "Honey can you stop eating like that? You aren't even heating your food!" To which the husband replies, "Everyone knows it is futile to try and quit cold turkey!"
It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend
...and I'm just thankful that I'll have ebola turkey soup and not ebola the deadly disease.
Q: Where do turkeys go to dance?
A: The butterball.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing! Wing!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play.
When do you serve tofu turkey?
Pranksgiving.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving?
Turkey
I've been addicted to eating the Thanksgiving leftovers...
...so I decided to quit cold turkey.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A p**... who says everything twice buys a turkey for Thanksgiving and after he gets food poisoning goes back to the market to complain
He says to the butcher Whachoo sellin' here jive turkey?!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is there so much leftover turkey after a Kardashian Thanksgiving?
Because they only like the dark meat
Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?
It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving.
We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the s**.... After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, "Don't these get any bigger?" I replied. "No, honey. They're already dead."
How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?
Nuked
Obama calls Putin and asks abut his Thanksgiving.
Putin: Turkey is about to be cooked.
This is a terrible week for Thanksgiving
This time, Turkey is doing the roasting
ijusthadtoimsosorry
So, it's almost Thanksgiving Day
and it seems this year Russia will be taking care of the Turkey.
Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because they hate Turkey
Who celebrates thanksgiving in Canada?
All the turkeys that made it across the border.
What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?
Cold turkey.
What's worse that burning the turkey on thanksgiving?
Being a starving African Child.
What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?
Just be *honest* with it man…
Why can't vin diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?
Because they're both roasted
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do thanksgiving dinner and the r**... crisis in Europe have in common?
Turkey and grease
So I guess it's going to be ham for Thanksgiving
lulz. cause no more Turkey
In honour of canadian thanksgiving...
I will be tickling the turkey instead of choking the chicken all day today
Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
A: No, you should just have the turkey!
Somebody stole my Thanksgiving turkey...
I suspect fowl play
(IT'S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!)
How do you break into someones house on Thanksgiving?
Use a Turkey.
What do you call someone talented at cooking turkey?
A master-baster.
Have a great thanksgiving.
What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of s**...
So I said, "you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."
What's the worst part about Thanksgiving leftovers?
Having to quit cold turkey.
What's a turkey's favorite holiday?
The day after Thanksgiving. (Black Friday)
Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to reheating Thanksgiving meals?
He had to go cold turkey.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game?
The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.
Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Student: I'm thankful I'm not a turkey.
I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies
Everything else is just gravy
What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?
They both know what it's like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed
I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident.
The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A newly wed couple have be living together for a few months.
Every morning the guy wakes up and lets out a long loud f**....
The wife says, one morning when you wake up you are going to blow out your insides.
A few months later it's thanksgiving and the wife is prepping the turkey. With a smirk on her face she takes the turkey guts and goes to the bedroom. Carefully puts it all in her husbands shorts.
A few minutes later she hears him scream like a little girl. 30 min later he shows up in the kitchen. Says, well hun, you were right. But thanks to vaseline and these two fingers i got it all back in!
Menopause
I'm going to bed with a frozen turkey and tomorrow I will wake up to thanksgiving dinner
Anita Marie Echevarria Cynical Comic
My family wanted me to go to rehab for my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight from the fridge
But I wanted to go cold turkey
What did Danny Tanner name their Thanksgiving turkey?
Kimmy Gobbler
What's the most ironic thing about Trump pardoning a Turkey on Thanksgiving?
He's also going to pardon a Saudi Arabia
how do you unlock a door on Thanksgiving?
with tur-keys
Police are investigating who stole the Thanksgiving turkey...
Right now there is no leads... But they suspect FOWL Play..
