Turk Jokes
95 turk jokes and hilarious turk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about turk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Turk Short Jokes
Short turk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The turk humour may include short turkey jokes also.
- I got this joke while watching Scrubs Turk: You are like School in July
JD: Why
Turk: No Class - What did the Greeks say after Constantinople was taken by the Turks? What a load of Istanbull
- A few Turks were discussing where to live Turk 1: Shall we live in the coup?
Turk 2: err, dogan. - Why is Secretary of State Tillerson holding middle east peace talks during Thanksgiving in Wisconsin? It's the only state that serves curds and turks at the same table.
- Why did Turkey cross the road To invade Byzantium of course, the Turks were vicious when it came to invasion.
- How many Turks does it takes to screw a light bulb? I tried 80 million contractor and All of them are still promising They are gonna finish the job by the next week.
- I heard lack of admittance into the European Union is really annoying Turkish citizens... Guess you could say it really irks the Turks
- Name a famous recipe which Europeans, americans and Turks generally dislike Recipe Erdogan :D
- Long before the Turks invented condoms The greeks invented s**....
And the italians thought it was so good, they introduced it to women - A long time ago the turks invented the c**... by using the gut of a sheep Many years later the English have revolutionised this concept by removing the gut from the sheep before using it as a c**...
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Turk One Liners
Which turk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with turk? I can suggest the ones about swede and immigrants.
- Why are turks bad at making cheese? They never let the kurds separate.
- What did the cannibal eat for Thanksgiving? A Turk
- What do you tell an Ottoman who's done a good job? 'Atta Turk.
- How does a Turk say Okay to a guy called Robert? 'Kebab'.
- What did the Turks say to Mustafa Kemal when he introduced democracy? Atta' Turk!
- What are the Turks' least favorite dairy product? kurds
- A Turk and a Jew are having lunch The turk says: "the food Israeli good, eh?"
- TIFU by screaming "TURK!" at Zach Braff. Whoops, wrong Scrub.
- Did you hear about the Turk who never stepped out of his car? Constant-in-Opel
- What does a turk put on his fries? Kekup
- What did ataturk's Father Say to him when he did well? Adda-Turk
- What do you call a s**... Turk? A Thottoman Turk
Witty Turk Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about turk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make turk pranks.
A Turkish man stopped by my convenience store and bought a gallon of milk. He comes back in an hour later with the same jug of milk, absolutely furious at me for selling him "bad milk!" I ask him what the problem is and he tells me its all
Kurdled
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?
He tripped a fan
So a turkey and a ham are walking into a cancer survivors meeting...
The ham looks over at the turkey and says:
"What are you doing here? You aren't cured. "
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google!
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
Why did the Turkey join the band?
because he had two Drumsticks.
Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?
He didn't want to be called chicken
What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?
Pardon me.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he's in my belly and he has to go where ever I go from now on...
What did the turkey eat for Christmas?
Nothing, it was already stuffed!
Why did Turkey disappear?
Because Austria was Hungary.
What did the turkey say to the goat?
The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble.
The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.
Why don't turkey vultures ever lose their luggage?
They only *carrion*...
Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border.
How did they train it to do that?
Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?
The Ottoman Empire.
What happens when Turkeys get the common cold?
They quit smoking.
How can you tell if a turkey is from Germany?
By the way it Goebbels
What does a Turkey eat when it's hungry?
An armenian!
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
If Turkey was attacked from the rear
Would Greece help?
Turkey
Is going to get served very soon
Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane.
Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force.
Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?
There were too many fowls.
Why are turkeys fat?
Because they gobble
Turkey, the country occupying Cyprus, an actual EU country, wants to join the EU
They will have to sign the Mastic Treaty
There is no Turkey in the coop.
But there's a coup in Turkey.
Tried turkish food today...
It was revolting
What are Turkish cattle best known for?
Mootiny.
What does the turkey do when it's in Germany?
It Goebbles.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."
Turkish fundraising dinner
Donor Kebab
Why did the turkey eat his dinner so quickly?
He was a gobbler!
Turkish Airlines should rename themselves...
...to Air-Dogan
Why does Turkey deny armenian genocide?
Because they can't accept the failure - Kardashians are still alive
Do you know why Turkeys make good warriors?
Because they ain't no chicken.
What do turkeys and fat chicks have in common
I'll only stuff them after they die
Turkey has the moon on its flag
Meanwhile the United States has its flag on the moon.
A turkey and his friend are walking down a street...
When a ghost pops out and screams "Boo!". The friend screams in t**... while the turkey has no reaction. A while later, the friend asked why the Turkey wasn't afraid. He responded "I'm not chicken".
What did turkey do on thanksgiving?
Changed its foreign policy on syria.
Why don't you take a turkey to church?
Because they have fowl language
Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
Because it was already stuffed, guys!
What do turkeys like to walk on?
Cobble cobble cobble
Where does the best turkey leg meat come from?
Thailand
(hint: þ)
Why did the turkey stick his leg in front of the football enthusiast?
Turkeys are full of trip da fan.
Why was a Turkish plane trying to bomb Greece?
It was on otto pilot.
Two turkeys are looking at the sky at dusk
The other one asks the other one - Do you believe in life after Christmas?
What did the Turkey say to Erdogan?
No idea but last i heard he was arrested for being a Gulenist.
What do turkeys make their streets out of?
Gobble-stones!
So Turkey wants to invade Syria from the rear,
Do you think Greece will help?
What's the Turkish cannibals favorite meal?
o**... Doner
Turkish gallows humor
A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."
Turkish Political Humor
Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter
In Turkey, a prisoner goes to the prison library and asks for a book.
The librarian answers Unfortunately, we do not have the book here. But the author.
Have a turkish joke
A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"
You can't have a Turkey
Without some Greece
[Turkish pun] What do you do when someone steals your carpet?
Kilim
Why did the Turkish army stay out of Syria?
There were curds in their whey.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Turkish saying about the Placebo effect
"If you take this medicine, you'll be cured in 7 days. If you don't take it, you'll be cured in one week"
Turkey cross the road
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't a chicken
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove to everyone he wasn't chicken
How much Turkey should I buy?
I need enough for 12 people and maybe 2 police officers
Turkish Joke
A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall.
Turks got 3 problems
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the b**... to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
A turkey is about to cross the road...
When suddenly the chicken appears and says, 'Don't do it man! You'll never hear the end of it'
Have you ever tried Turkish food?
You oughtta man!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken.
Why do turkeys love thanksgiving?
Because they don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents
A turkey tries crossing the road
But a chicken stops him and says 'Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it.'
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken.
