Turf Jokes

Funniest Turf Short Jokes

Short turf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The turf humour may include short lawn jokes also.

1. So what do you call a street where sheep and horses are fighting over turf? A baaad neigh-borhood.
   ...
   I'm glad none of you are close enough to punch me.
2. I've just got home to find that the turf I laid last week has been stolen. My girlfriend is outside now, looking forlorn
3. They say that "The grass is always greener on the other side". Especially true of roll on turf.
4. Why did Iowa replace all the high school football fields with artificial turf? To stop the cheerleaders from grazing during halftime.
5. Today's Headline: The local golf course has been having a lot of trouble with gangster grass related issues. A patron is quoted as saying... " It's an all out turf war. "
6. A crime boss works part time selling grass to people in his home city... I went over to his shop and asked if I could help him with his sales. He told me to stay off his turf.
7. A shop that sells fake grass for gardens was robbed... Afterwards the owner was asked why he was so defensive during the robbery of the fake grass, to which he replied:
   Well, it's my home turf.
8. What can tourists do on a $65 tour of gang turf in Los Angeles? Purchase a postcard, t-shirt, and some crystal m**...!

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Turf One Liners

Which turf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with turf? I can suggest the ones about grass and tarmac.

1. My girlfriend won't share her surf and turf with me... Shellfish cow
2. Two rival landscaping companies have been killing each others staff They're in a turf war
3. What is Gargamel's favorite dish ? smurf n Turf
4. What do you get when a cow bangs a lobster? Surf-n-turf
5. What do you call two lawn companies fighting over a lawn? A turf war.
6. How do you get rid of a turf management professional? You tell him to sod off.
7. What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf? A gras shopper.
8. What is it called when you bury a black man in the ground? Afro-turf
9. In America, we have Astro-Turf. In Russia to they have Cosmo-Turf?
10. black turf what do you call a black guy buried from the neck up
    Afro turf
11. What do you call 100 black people buried up to the top of their skulls? Afro-turf
12. Somewhere, there is a turf war going on... ...between skeletons and secret g**....

Cheeky Turf Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about turf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tall grass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make turf pranks.