The Best 79 Tunnel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tunnel jokes. There are some tunnel underpass jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tunnel grope puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tunnel Jokes and Puns

A woman visits her husband in prison

Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:

"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"

The officer laughs, saying:

"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"

"Bullshit! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"

Know why New Yorkers are so cynical?

For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

What do you get if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip?

killed in a french tunnel.

Tunnel joke, What do you get if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip?

Two moles

Two moles are going down a tunnel. The one behind says: I think I smell molasses.

Guess what my Valentine gave me?

Carpal Tunnel...


see the light

The pessimist sees no light in the tunnel.

The optimist see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The realist sees that the light is a train.

The train driver sees only three fools on the track.

Did you hear about the guy who was obsessed with building HOV lanes through mountains?

Did you hear about the guy who was obsessed with building HOV lanes through mountains?

Classic case of carpool tunnel syndrome

Tunnel joke, Did you hear about the guy who was obsessed with building HOV lanes through mountains?

I thought I had an STD once...

turned out it was just carpal tunnel.

What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

4 different views of a tunnel

PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel.
REALIST: A train.
TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

Why couldn't the Italian talk?

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

You can explore tunnel compartment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tunnel cave dad jokes. There are also tunnel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So my friend absolutely will not, cannot carpool.

He just flat out refuses to carpool. He has this irrational fear that if he carpools and the car crashes in a tunnel, he'll be trapped because there are too many people in the car.

It's called Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

What do you call it when a group of people in a single vehicle travel through a lengthy underpass?

Carpool tunnel!

Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?

Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?
A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers.

The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel.

My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day.

It got so bad his boss made him get rid of the piano.

Tunnel joke, My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day.

Two men and two women are on a train.

There is a mother and daughter on their way to have a holiday, and there is an old general and his valet, a young sergeant. The train goes through a tunnel, and everything is dark. There is a *mwsshk!* and a *smack!* and the train leaves the tunnel.

The mother thinks, "that young man stole a kiss from my daughter and got slapped for it!"
The daughter thinks, "that young man tried to kiss me, and kissed my mother by mistake!"
The general thinks, "that upstart pup steals a kiss and I get slapped for it."
The sergeant thinks, "not bad! I just kiss my hand and get to slap the general, and here comes another tunnel!"

If it wasn't for Carpal Tunnel

I wouldn't know when to stop masturbating.

Why I won't carpool.

I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.


Tunnel

Pesimist only sees the darkness in the tunnel.
Optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees that that light is in fact a train.
The train conductor sees 3 fools on the railroad track.

A friend an I share a ride to work

But every time we went through a tunnel our hands would start to hurt.

Turns out it was Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

what is the disease that killed princes diana?

Car pole tunnel syndrome

My Wife told me to treat her like a princess

So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel

What do you get if you put 20 blondes in a row standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.

I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.

I was desperate for a job, so my friend offered me one as a test subject in a wind tunnel

But i wasnt a fan

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

A pessimist, an optimist and a realist talk about what they see...

The pessimist says: "I see a dark tunnel."

The optimist says: "I see light at the end of the tunnel."

The realist says: "I think I see a train!"

The train driver screams: "Three morons on the rails!"

The light at the end of the tunnel,

Are the front lights of a train.

Elon Musk's new tunnel boring machine is....

quite a ground breaking invention.

I told my boyfriend that he better start treating me like a princess

So he flew me to Paris, got me drunk, and drove me into a tunnel pillar at 105 km/h.

The pessimist sees a dark tunnel...

The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.

The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel

The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel

The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway

Why are New Yorkers so skeptical about everything?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey

My friend died from an explosion after lighting his fart on fire.

But I know he's at peace because the last thing he saw was a light at the end of his tunnel.

An optimist sees the light in the tunnel

An optimist sees the light in the tunnel.
A pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel.
A realist sees the train in the tunnel and the conductor sees 3 idiots on the rails.

Why was the fish a slow typer

He had Carp-al Tunnel

Complained to my doctor about getting sore wrists every time I give my friends a ride through the underpass...

He told me I had carpool tunnel syndrome.

Doctors are reporting a new disease affecting commuters in New York.

It only appears to be affecting drivers traveling in groups through the Lincoln Holland Tunnels. The symptoms are pain in the hands and wrists.

Doctors are calling it Car Pool Tunnel syndrome.

Due to the recession and to save on energy costs,

the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.

I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision.

Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.

A prisoner spends years digging a tunnel out of jail ...

He comes up inside a preschool yard. He starts jumping up and down and screaming "I'm free!! I'm free!!"

A little kid tugs on his pants. The prisoner looks down and the kid says nonchalantly: "So what? I'm four."

When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.

But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the funeral, Emily".ο»Ώ

Deep.

Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.

Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.

Realist sees light from incoming train.

Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

3 witch fugitives were cornered by police

The redhead yelled "AIR" and a gust of wind carried her to safety.

The brunette yelled "EARTH" and a tunnel to safety appeared underneath her.

The blonde yelled "FIRE" so the police did.

Why is building a bridge better than building a tunnel?

One is riveting, the other is boring.

My friend gave me a ride to work but every time we drove under a bridge my joints started aching.

Guess I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

I used to work for a mining company . . .

It was a boring job; just a slow daily grind.

I would find myself in a depression everyday; unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

One day, the whole drill got to be too dull and as I was about to do something to remedy the situation, everything started to crumble down around me.

I decided I needed to get out of there in a hurry.

So I went for a drink, but as luck would have it, everyone refused to serve a miner.

What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and The Queen?

Killed in a tunnel

It was my turn to drive in the car pool to work today.

After I picked up Steve we had to drive through a tunnel. There was a semi truck coming down the wrong lane and I had to swerve to moss him. When I got to work my wrist was hurting really bad. It must have been from that car pool tunnel.

Why are New Yorker's sad?

The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

What do you get when crossing the Queen and Prince Philip?

Killed in a motorway tunnel

I had to give up using the work carpool as I got panic attacks every time we drove through a tunnel.

I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

The pessimist doesn't se the the light at the end of the tunnel, the optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel, the realist sees the train in the tunnel...

... and the the train driver sees the three insane people on rails.

I hate driving through tunnels [OC]

They're always so dark and scary. My hands always start shaking whenever I'm driving through one with my mates.

I think I have carpool tunnel syndrome

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.

A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.Β 

When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute !!"

Why do Long Islander's have the lowest suicide rate in the US?

Jersey is the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a weird mental health issue where I have to get out and pull my car every time I go through a tunnel.

It's car-pull tunnel syndrome.

Whenever I'm down, I always look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

I really hope it's a train this time.

What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip?

Murdered in a tunnel in Paris

a lady visits her husband in a prison

A lady visits her husband in a prison. After talking to him she talks to a prison administrator:
"Shouldn't my husband be treated better? All this hard work he has to do!"
"What hard work?" asks the administrator "he's a librarian here."
"Well," replies the lady, "he was telling me something about digging a tunnel every night..."

Why are people in New York always so sad?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is *New Jersey*

Old one but, your royal highness:

What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and the Queen?



Killed in a tunnel

I was going to show you a video about a drill machine digging a tunnel.

But it's too boreing.

Why are New Yorkers always so grumpy?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

A pessimist sees only the tunnel. An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. A realist thinks the light is probably inside the tunnel.

A train driver sees three idiots standing in the middle of the track

As I was driving underground with strangers, my wrist began to hurt

It must be carpool tunnel syndrome

Just hurt my wrists digging a hole between two koi ponds.

I think it's carpal tunnel.

My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess

So I took her to Paris.

We went to wonderful restaurants and stayed in an expensive hotel.

Then I crashed our car in a tunnel and she died.

A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.

License and registration the officer says.

No problem replies the motorist.

What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.

Just had a late night at work he replies.

Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.

Well...I'm an asshole stretcher he says.

An asshole stretcher?

Yeah, I take assholes and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet

What would anyone do with a six foot asshole?! The office exclaims.

Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!

A pessimist, optimist, and realist are standing in a tunnel.

The pessimist thinks about the darkness surrounding them. The optimist thinks about the light they will reach at the end. The realist thinks about freight trains that might be near.
And the train conductor thinks about what might happen if these 3 idiots don't move

Why are New Yorkers so depressed

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey

The tunnel

An Englishman, a Frenchmen, a young woman, and an old lady, are sitting together on a train when it goes through a tunnel. A loud slap is heard, and then the Frenchman is rubbing his face.

The old lady thinks 'I bet he tried to touch the young woman, and she slapped him'

The young woman thinks 'I bet he tried to touch the old lady thinking it was me, and she slapped him'

The Frenchman thinks 'I bet the Englishman tried to touch the young woman, and she thought it was me, so she slapped me'

The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for the next tunnel so I can slap him again'

2021 wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel

It was a train

What do you get when you cross Prince Charles and the Queen?

Murdered in a tunnel in France

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees 3 idiots standing in the way of his train.

I get confused with these Latin phrases.

Is it carpe tunnel or per diem?

A general, an officer, an old lady, and an attractive young woman all board a train together.

As they ride along they go in a dark tunnel and can't see anything. Suddenly, they hear a quick smooch followed by a loud smack!

The old lady thinks, "that young girl has some fine morals, smacking a man for trying to steal a kiss."

The young woman thinks, "how odd, the general tried to kiss the old lady instead of me."

The general thinks, "that officer is smart, he steals a kiss, and I get slapped."

The office thinks, "I'M A GENIUS! I kiss the back of my hand, and get to hit a 4 star general!!!"

I went through the Lincoln tunnel today and I gotta say, I'm not ok with the name of where you pay your toll…

…The John Wilkes booth ?!?!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tunnel rails jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tunnel railway piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes