Tumor Jokes

Funniest Tumor Short Jokes

Short tumor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tumor humour may include short cancer jokes also.

1. Doctor, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is this tumor? Doctor: "I'd say it's be-nine."
   Patient: "Hahaha"
   Doctor: "Hahahaha"
   Patient: "Haha"
   Doctor: "You have a month to live."
2. A lawyer walks into a doctor's office with a huge tumor on his face. ​
   Why didn't you come sooner? asks the doctor.
   To be honest, I was ashamed to leave the house, the tumor says.
3. I can't see how this day could get any worse. First, my baby cousin went missing... And now my pet snake has a huge tumor
4. I've read like 7 jokes about John McCain's cancer today If I read tumor, it's gonna benign.
5. Children are like Tumors... They cost a lot of money to deal with, but eventually they grow on you.
6. After my biopsy the Doctor told me that my tumor was benign... From the look on his face I guess shouting "BINGO!" wasn't the right response.
7. A father decided to cancel his surgery. "Don't you want to get rid of that tumor?" His children asked, to which he just shrugged at.
   "Its growing on me."
8. [True] A while back I was diagnosed with a benign brain lesion. I was distraught. to make light of the situation... You really have to have a good sense of tumor. Laughter is cancerous.
9. Rob Ford..too soon? *Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years.
10. Have you heard about the recent abnormal growth in cancer clinics? There are tumor down the street.

Share These Tumor Jokes With Friends

Tumor One Liners

Which tumor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tumor? I can suggest the ones about lump and tomb.

1. I like my tumors like I like my bingo numbers... B9
2. My doctor told me I have a tumor At first I was upset, but it's starting to grow on me
3. Things I hate intestinal tumors, colostomy bags, chemotherapy
4. I found a tumor at Bingo last night. It's okay. It was B9.
5. I used to hate my tumor But it grew on me.
6. I was playing Battleship with my tumor... I won though, my last hit was B9.
7. What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live.
8. I've had a tumor in me for over 8 years now Tomorrow it benign
9. What did the doctor say to the woman with seven tumors? Tumor would benign
10. When is a testicular tumor like a bingo ball? when it's B-9
11. What did the patient say to the surgeon prodding at his tumor? Hey, cut it out!
12. Having a tumor isn't that great at first… …but it grows on you.
13. My uncle, as an oncologist.... ... has a great sense of tumor.
14. My friend said cancer was nothing to joke about I found that statement rather tumorous
15. What type of doctor treats tumors and is available 24/7? An Oncallogist

Cancerous Tumor Jokes

Here is a list of funny cancerous tumor jokes and even better cancerous tumor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
• I have this friend who had cancer. In the process of cure and after he got released, he said his life was completely changed. You know what they say about tumors. They really grow on you.
• There's eight of us here We'll need ten to start the cancer experimental treatment. Let's get tumor people.
  ​
• What would you say about someone who li kes to tell cancer jokes? That he has a sense of tumor
  (Courtesy of twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)
• Why did the man get cancer three times? Because after the first time he got tumor.
• I believe in the Zodiac I'm a Pisces, by far my favorite type of fairy. Something a bit tragic, my grandmother was a Cancer, and she was actually killed by a giant tumor.
• What is the performance of a comedian with cancer like? Tumorous
• I'm thinking of setting up a comedy group to help people going through cancer treatment I'll call it 'A Sense of Tumor'
• How long does a kid with terminal cancer live? About tumor months.
• What do you call someone who can't take a joke about cancer? Someone with no sense of tumor.

Cheeky Tumor Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about tumor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tumor pranks.