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Tuesdays Jokes

35 tuesdays jokes and hilarious tuesdays puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tuesdays that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Tuesdays Short Jokes

Short tuesdays jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tuesdays humour may include short barrel jokes also.

  1. Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
  2. I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday and Today.
  3. Time Machine I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore.
  4. ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
  5. A man stumbles to his front steps late one Tuesday night... He clumsily opens the door to be met by his furious wife.
    "Drunk again?!" she asks.
    He chuckles and says "Hey, me too."
  6. On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ... ... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.
  7. I only drink on days that start with "T" Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday.
  8. SNL does great parodies of presidential debates. For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though
  9. I just signed up for a yoga class.... "How flexible are you" asked the instructor
    I said "I can't do Tuesdays"
  10. I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

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Tuesdays One Liners

Which tuesdays one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tuesdays? I can suggest the ones about tuesday work and tomorrow.

  1. I'm really excited about the new autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is Open Mike night.
  2. Death Told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for next Tuesday.
  3. Happy International Women's Day! Or as I like to call it, Taco Tuesday
  4. I can't wait for Tuesday, February 22, 2022 (2/22/22). . We can call it... 2's day
  5. Nothing ruins a Friday more... ...than realizing that today is Tuesday.
  6. What does a taxidermist do on Tuesdays? Nothing special ... just the usual stuff.
  7. What's the worst thing about Fridays? Realizing it's only Tuesday.
  8. Happy Fat Tuesday... Or as your mother calls it, just another day.
  9. I have enough money to last the rest of my life... If I died next Tuesday.
  10. Today's the day where I get to eat lots and lots of chocolate. Tuesday.
  11. How do you make a blond laugh on monday? Tell her a joke on tuesday
  12. I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made an appointment for Tuesday.
  13. Told my husband I want to be cremated. He made me an appointment for Tuesday.
  14. What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week Tu-Tu Tuesday
  15. Febuary 22nd 2022 falls on a tuesday so we will be able to call it 2'sday....

Tuesdays joke, Febuary 22nd 2022 falls on a tuesday

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about tuesdays can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of tuesdays puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Tuesdays Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about tuesdays you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean flexible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make tuesdays prank.

I have s**... with my wife almost everyday!

Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...

As a man in his 70s I still manage to have s**... with my wife almost every day...

Almost Monday, almost Tuesday....

I have s**... almost every day

Almost on Sunday
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
And almost on Saturday

Three old men

Three elderly men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.
The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", he replied.
Then the doctor asked the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine", he answered. "That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that answer?
"Easy," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?

I asked my friend.
He wants to be a garbageman, 
he replied.
That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.
Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.

My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

A mathematician goes into an insane asylum

He approaches a group of gentleman and asks:
How much is 9 minus 3?
First guy answers: "Potato."
Nope. I'm afraid that is incorrect. Anybody else?
"Tuesday." Replies a second.
Wrong again.
"Six!" Answers a third.
Ah! Very good. Tell me how did you figure that out?
"Simple! I just multiplied Tuesday and Potato and subtracted 83.

Paybacktime


A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye

Tuesdays joke, I just signed up for a yoga class....

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these tuesdays jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.