Tuesday Work Jokes
24 tuesday work jokes and hilarious tuesday work puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tuesday work that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tuesday Work Short Jokes
Short tuesday work jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tuesday work humour may include short wednesday work jokes also.
- For everyone in the working world today: It's a Tuesday... ...which is like a Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim.
- why was the computer late to work? because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)
- What's the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee? Nothing neither one has been working since Tuesday...
- Did you hear about the new airline pilot contract? You will only have to work on Tuesday! 'some guy in the back raises his hand'
Every Tuesday? - Remember, always give 100% of your effort at work 12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday - Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
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Tuesday Work One Liners
Which tuesday work one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tuesday work? I can suggest the ones about thursday work and monday work.
- Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
- A work week is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says w**....
Cheeky Tuesday Work Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about tuesday work you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean friday work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tuesday work pranks.
Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?
I asked my friend.
He wants to be a garbageman,
he replied.
That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.
Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.
Paybacktime
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye
My friend ask me,"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
My friend says "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon...
Instead of going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck) partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of epithets from his furious wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating, his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days!?!"
"That would suit me just fine!!!"
Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out of the corner of his left eye..
A tech company gets a new CTO...
She comes in and says hey, we're gonna make some changes around here.
Mondays we won't work, we'll be recovering from the weekend. Tuesdays we won't work, we'll be getting ready for the work week. Wednesdays, that's our new work week. Thursdays we won't work, we need to recover from a long work week, and Fridays we won't work, we'll need to get ready for the weekend.
A senior programmer in the back raises his hand and says hey, I'm not sure I understand... Does this mean we have to start working on Wednesdays?
I've heard that if you choose to do something you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life
Apparently loving to lay on the couch all day, watching TV and doing nothing doesn't apply and my stuff gets repossessed next Tuesday.
A Strange Career Choice...
A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants
to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
After leaving left work Friday afternoon Mike stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and blew his entire paycheck.
When he finally came home Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied That would be fine with me".
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife
and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Bob left work one Friday evening but since it was payday he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
A man left for work one Friday afternoon.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye
How would you like it if you didn't see me?
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Enjoy weekend and enjoy and enjoy weekend
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages.
When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.
After two hours, she stopped nagging and said: 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?' He replied: 'That would be fine with me.' Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Prison ain't so bad
A newly arrived prisoner is sitting in his cell when his cellmate, a lifer who has been inside for 20 years, walks in and sees that the young guy is distressed.
Lifer: Don't worry kid, prison ain't so bad. Do you like to work with your hands?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: Well,on Monday we get to work in the Arts and Crafts building. You can paint,do woodworking, pottery whatever.
NewMeat: O.k. that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Gourmet food?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: On Tuesdays a Chef comes in affixes anything you want to eat.
NewMeat: Sounds good
Lifer:Do you like movies?
NewMeat: Yeah
Lifer:Wednesdays we get to watch the latest films that are released to theatres.
NewMeat:Allright that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Music?
NewMeat: Absolutely!
Lifer: Thursdays we get a concert from big name bands like U2 and Foo Fighters.
NewMeat: Wow!! that is cool!!
Lifer: Are you gay?
NewMeat: Uh, no I'm not gay
Lifer: Oh....... well you're not gonna like Friday's at all.