Tuesday Morning Jokes
6 tuesday morning jokes and hilarious tuesday morning puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tuesday morning that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Howlingly Hilarious Tuesday Morning Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What is a good tuesday morning joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
There's a t**... blonde giving quite a show to cars driving by in my neighborhood...
The garbage company told her to take her cans out by the side of the road on Tuesday mornings.
The phone rings at a local law firm...
"Good morning, Krantz Krantz Krantz & Krantz LLP."
"Is Mr. Krantz available?"
"No, I'm afraid he's in a meeting with a client at the moment."
"And what about Mr. Krantz?"
"He's away in Washington for the week."
"Then, is Mr. Krantz in?"
"Ye- err, wait, it's Tuesday. He's not in until the afternoon on Tuesdays."
"Well! At the very least, could I speak with Mr. Krantz?!"
"Speaking."
I called my boss this morning and said
"I'm not coming in today, I've got the squirts."
He said, "I'm fed up with this, it's the same time every week!"
I said, "I can't help it, my wife has community service on Tuesdays and we can't find a babysitter."
You say I have a drinking problem...
But I won't let you ruin my Tuesday morning buzz.
My 3yo told me this joke Tuesday morning...What do Humu Humu fish say on Halloween?
Trigger Treat!!
The young sailor
A young sailor prepares for his first deployment as sea. As this is his first deployment the captain calls him into his quarters to ask the man if he is ready for a life at sea, surrounded by s**..., and away from women. The sailor thinks for awhile and replies "Well Captain, I'd be a lying s**... if I did not admit that the thought of not having a woman for months at a time had not crossed me mind." The Captain gives a warm smile and leans in to tell the young man something of importance. Lowering his voice the Captain says "Aye, mate tis hard at sea indeed but we've got a little secret on this ship. Below the lower deck there's a secret room originally intended for smuggling. In that room you will find a barrel with a very unique hole. See it's a magic barrel we found near the Bermuda triangle. Just go below deck and use the barrel when you get a craven. Just don't go below deck on Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings." Overjoyed the sailor leaves the Captains quarters and heads down below deck. He is amazed at the feeling from the barrel, it's magical how the timber forms together to give a warm, wet feeling.
After his use he returns to the Captains quarters to let him know he found the barrel. He says "Captain, I found the secret barrel and it is truly magical. I only have one question, why can't I use it Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings?"
"Aye," Says the Captain, "Cuz that's yahr days in the barrel."
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