Tubes Jokes
36 tubes jokes and hilarious tubes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tubes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious Tubes Jokes! From jokes about ducts and pipes, to funny puns about having your tubes tied, these jokes are sure to neutralize even the strongest of moods. Read on for your daily dose of comic relief!
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Funniest Tubes Short Jokes
Short tubes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tubes humour may include short test tube jokes also.
- I replaced my friend's chapstick with a tube of glue. So far, he hasn't said anything about it.
- At the tube station earlier I saw a homeless man sitting on the floor with a three legged dog next to a sign that read: Help, I'm starving. He can't be that hungry, he hasn't even finished his dog.
- I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food... We should definitely make America grate again.
- What's the difference between a funny dutch man and a tube? one is a hollow cylinder while the other is a silly hollander.
- My wife holds grudges over the smallest things. She asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. Even after a few weeks, she's still not speaking to me
- Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm.
And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me! - My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me.
- There are 2 kinds of people... Those that squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom
And
Godforsaken Sociopaths - 5 year old: Mommy, do you know how long a tooth paste tube lasts? Mother: No honey?
5 year old: 2 laps around the TV table, and one around the couch - My wife said she would leave me if i suggested getting her tubes tied again... But i think she's just ovaryacting.
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Tubes One Liners
Which tubes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tubes? I can suggest the ones about tuberculosis and pipes.
- Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles? Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you
- What do you call a London subway train full of professors? A tube of smarties.
- Why did the test tube go to college? To become a graduated cylinder.
- Why are test tube manufacturers always single? People just seem to find them vial!
- How did the man feel when he dropped his tube of toothpaste? Crest-fallen
- Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. I was crestfallen.
- How do you make Bengay? Squeeze his tube.
- What do you call a test tube filled with mold? A vile vial
- Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made. - What do you call a Wookie war-cry on the London Underground? Tube-haka
- How does a fallopian tube take its eggs? (Ovaries Z)
- You know what I call a tube that comes with a caulk? A caulk block.
- I had to quit my job digging subway tunnels... ...tube boring
- No matter how old you are... ...an empty wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
- What do you call tubing in Winnipeg? Mani-tubing
Tubes Tied Jokes
Here is a list of funny tubes tied jokes and even better tubes tied puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When will Pele stop giving birth to new land? When she gets her lava tubes tied.
- Is it okay to compare a man getting the snip with a woman getting her tubes tied? After all, there isn't a vas deferens between the two o**...
- I once knew a girl so s**... ... ... she had her eustachian tubes tied and now she can't hear her baby crying.
Cheerful Fun Tubes Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about tubes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tuba jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tubes pranks.
Worms
Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.
Two blondes were tubing down a river...
Two blondes were tubing down a river when they got pulled into the rapids. Their tubes capsized and floated off without them and they ended up on opposite sides of the river.
One yells to the other, "How do I get to the other side?"
The other yells back, "You're on the other side!"
I asked my urologist which was more impressive, a u**... or fallopian tubes.
He said "I dunno, there's not a vas deferens."
What do you call an operation.
what do you call an operation to have your tonsils removed? a Tonsillectomy.
What do you call an operation to have your appendix removed? an Appendectomy.
What do you call an operation where a man has his tubes cut so he can't have children? a vasectomy.
What do you call an operation when a woman has a s**... change? an Add-a-d**...-to-me.
A man was in a horrible car accident
A man wakes up in the ICU with a nurse standing over him. He has tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and he's in terrible pain.
He asks the nurse "What happened?".
The nurse give him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then tells him, "You were in a horrible accident. You may not feel anything from the waist down right now."
The man replies "Can I feel your t**... then?"
Astrology joke
I've got a cousin who was born with a rare condition that renders him speechless, deaf, blind, immobile, and unable to talk. He mostly lies in bed in a hospital, and we feed him through tubes. But underneath all that, you can totally tell he's got that typical wacky Capricorn sense of humor.
Crisis averted?
Over the weekend I was sat next to a person eating a bowlful of those really fat pasta tubes in a tomato sauce. As I watched, one got nearer to the edge of the bowl but I couldn't mention it because the person was deep in conversation. I agonised for a few seconds wondering how I could stop a mess landing in the person's lap, but I couldn't think of anything. Yet, it was just then that the penne dropped.
An accountant is having a bad day
Everything is going wrong, his marriage is going down the tubes, he is about to lose his job, he steps out and looks down
Guy on the street calls the cops and says "Come quick! There's an accountant on the ledger!"
If Charles Babbage is the father of computers
And if vacuum tubes are the inception of computers, I dread to think of what he did with them.
Last autumn, a nice flower salesmen sold me some poppies in some cool cylinders.
Oh boy! Two more months and here I come, fall o**... tubes!
After seeing all of his tubes of toothpaste lying strewn on the floor of his office, the dentist was full of emotion.
He was truly Crestfallen.
I dropped the expired blood tubes as I was handing them to my coworker
Now there's bad blood between us
What's the worst part about eating vegetables?
All the tubes
Why Couldn't The Bourdon Tubes Hookup?
They were already engaged.