Tube Jokes
109 tube jokes and hilarious tube puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tube that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will be sure to tickle your funny bone with its witty jokes about tubes, including fallopian tubes, test tubes, feeding tubes, and the London Tube! You don't need any balm or bengay or chapstick to find these jokes hilarious! Get ready to laugh with these tube jokes!
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Funniest Tube Short Jokes
Short tube jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tube humour may include short pipe jokes also.
- I replaced my friend's chapstick with a tube of glue. So far, he hasn't said anything about it.
- At the tube station earlier I saw a homeless man sitting on the floor with a three legged dog next to a sign that read: Help, I'm starving. He can't be that hungry, he hasn't even finished his dog.
- I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food... We should definitely make America grate again.
- What's the difference between a funny dutch man and a tube? one is a hollow cylinder while the other is a silly hollander.
- My wife holds grudges over the smallest things. She asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. Even after a few weeks, she's still not speaking to me
- Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm.
And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me! - My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me.
- There are 2 kinds of people... Those that squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom
And
Godforsaken Sociopaths - 5 year old: Mommy, do you know how long a tooth paste tube lasts? Mother: No honey?
5 year old: 2 laps around the TV table, and one around the couch - My wife said she would leave me if i suggested getting her tubes tied again... But i think she's just ovaryacting.
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Tube One Liners
Which tube one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tube? I can suggest the ones about stream and beam.
- Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles? Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you
- What do you call a London subway train full of professors? A tube of smarties.
- Why did the test tube go to college? To become a graduated cylinder.
- Why are test tube manufacturers always single? People just seem to find them vial!
- How did the man feel when he dropped his tube of toothpaste? Crest-fallen
- Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. I was crestfallen.
- How do you make Bengay? Squeeze his tube.
- What do you call a test tube filled with mold? A vile vial
- Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made. - What do you call a Wookie war-cry on the London Underground? Tube-haka
- How does a fallopian tube take its eggs? (Ovaries Z)
- You know what I call a tube that comes with a caulk? A caulk block.
- I had to quit my job digging subway tunnels... ...tube boring
- No matter how old you are... ...an empty wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
- What do you call tubing in Winnipeg? Mani-tubing
Test Tube Jokes
Here is a list of funny test tube jokes and even better test tube puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Israel and Palestine cooperatively mixed liquids and gases in a test tube today They were trying out a two state solution
- What is the advantage of being a test tube baby? A room with a view
- I was shell-shocked when my neighbours brought home a test-tube baby... ...I did not know that test-tubes can reproduce.
- What do you call a test tube with a college degree? a graduated cylinder
- Australian Jokes What enemies does a test tube baby have?
Answer: a dingo with a straw - What is the greatest threat to a test tube baby? A dingo with a straw
- What has red hair and lives in a test tube? Bozo the Clone.
- What do test tube babies do on mothers day and father's day? They cry
- I met a guy who said he was a test tube baby. I said, groovy, daddy-o.
- (Pickup line) Are you a test-tube baby? Because you're perfect.
Test Tube Baby Jokes
Here is a list of funny test tube baby jokes and even better test tube baby puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is a test tube baby's biggest fear? Dingos with straws....!! 😆
- The perk of being a test tube baby... ...is you get a w**... with a view.
- 40 years ago today, Louise Brown became the first test tube baby... She had a w**... with a view.
- What is the benefit of being a test tube baby? Having a w**... with a view.
- The cool thing about being a test tube baby... You get a w**... with a view.
- Why are test tube babies always so small? There's no w**....
- If you're a test tube baby... You have a w**... with a view!
- What is so great about being a test tube baby? You get a w**... with a view.
London Tube Jokes
Here is a list of funny london tube jokes and even better london tube puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the difference between baseball players and London Tube drivers? Baseball players are out after three strikes.
- I opened a s**... bank in London recently... We had a disastrous first day. Only two clients. One came on the bus; the other one missed the tube.
- Have you heard the one about the two Irishmen who went to London to donate s**...? Patrick missed the tube and Shamus came on the bus.
- Why was the London s**... bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.
- Why did the London s**... bank close down? Because people kept missing the tube.
Fallopian Tube Jokes
Here is a list of funny fallopian tube jokes and even better fallopian tube puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you don't get first place in someone's heart just remember that you got first place in someone's fallopian tube.
- 2 sperms are swimming side by side s**... 1: do you know how much longer 'til the fallopian tube?
s**... 2: fallopian tube? we aren't even past the esophagus yet! - I asked my urologist which was more impressive, a u**... or fallopian tubes. He said "I dunno, there's not a vas deferens."
- What is a female g**... favorite slide to slide down at the playground? The fallopian tube!
Entertaining Tube Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about tube you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaft jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tube pranks.
A policeman pulls over a driver...
for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
I can't do that, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.
Okay, we'll just get a u**... sample down at the station.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.
Alright, we could get a blood sample.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.
Fine then, just walk this white line.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm drunk.
So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-
The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.
(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)
I once knew a girl who confused a tube of k**... jelly...
for a tube of super glue. I asked her how it happened... her lips were sealed.
Three Engineers are Sitting at a Bar...
...and discussing what kind of engineer constructed the human body. The first exclaimed that it must be a Mechanical Engineer because of all the joints and moving parts. The second said it had to have been an Electrical Engineer because of all the nerve endings and electrical signals. The third disagreed with both and declared that it had to have been a Nuclear Engineer, because who else would construct a toxic tube so close to a recreational area?
Two s**... are busily swimming along
Two s**... are busily swimming along when 1 s**... asks "Hey look..is the that the Fallopian tube?"
"Fallopian tube" the second s**... laughs out, "we're not even through the esophagus yet!"
A duck walks into a pharmacy
grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says "that'll be $3.50. The duck says "just put it on my bill"
A man finishes a tube of chapstick...
...just kidding.
A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."
I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.
I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."
As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone...
...making it a weapon of mass reduction.
I kept unwrapping my present and it was the lamest gift ever.
A cardboard tube.
I've lost 150 pounds since I moved to Europe.
I really shouldn't have left my wallet on the Tube.
My Chinese friend got really sick one day
I went to the hospital to see how he's doin, but he just kept whispering Yang qi guan! Yang qi guan! Yang qi guan!" over and over – and then died.
I was very sad and a few days later I googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means You're standing on my oxygen tube.
A Duck Walks Into a Drugstore
A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, That'll be $1.49. The duck replies, Put it on my bill.
Where is my wife
A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.
I buy chapstick..
in order to make the tube of chapstick I lost appear in my pocket when stuffing the receipt for it in there while walking out of the store.
After seeing all of his tubes of toothpaste lying strewn on the floor of his office, the dentist was full of emotion.
He was truly Crestfallen.
The s**... bank
The recently opened s**... bank in town has been a failure. They only had 3 donors:
* One couldn't come
* One came on the bus
* The other missed the tube
A duck walks into a store
A duck walks into a store, picks up a tube of Chapstick and places it on the counter. The clerk asks him, "Will that be cash or credit?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
Life used to be simpler when I was younger; I had less worries
I started out as an egg but went down the tube from there.
I confused a tube of super glue with a tube of l**...
It was horrible. My model airplane kept slipping apart.
I got the tube to work today.
Good job too! I haven't been able to use toothpaste all week.
A kid asks his dad how much toothpaste is in a tube. He says "i don't know..."
Kid: "it's almost from the bathroom to the kitchen!"
Women really do hold grudges over the smallest things...
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm and I accidentally gave her a tube of super glue. It's been a week now and she's still not talking to me.
The result of a silly mistake...
Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me!
A little girl asked her mom , Do you know how much toothpaste is in a tube?
Her mom said, No .
About 20 feet!
Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference"
Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: Ah i knew you'd get stuck on that
You know when you're opening the tube of Pilsbury crescent rolls but it just tears, then you see the "press spoon here" option?
Spanx ought to sew that line into each of their garments.
A fire breaks out in the kitchen.
The man rushes over to the emergency station and comes back with a large red tube. He points it at the fire and squeezes the lever. The tube says, that's a grease fire! The man looks closer at what he's carrying. d**..., he says, I accidentally bought a fire distinguisher!
Two men are sitting at a table.
o**... says, "I have ants"
The second guy replies, "Yeah, but my ants are taller than yours."
So the first guy now says 'Well, I have a tube of glue!",
To which the second guy replies, "And... I have an entire tin of it."
Finally, the first guy says "I have bread."
Unable to beat the first guy any longer, the second guy says "I can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants."
I once met a girl who confused a tube of k**... Jelly with super glue
I asked her how it happened, but sadly her lips were sealed.
2 men in an airport
1st man says, "I can't find my wife." 2nd man says, "I can't find mine either, what does yours look like?" 1st man " Six foot tall, blonde, big t**..., mini skirt, high heels and a b**... tube, whats yours look like?" 2nd man says, "f**... her we'll look for yours.
Two friends are arguing...
"Look, I have a colony of ants!"
"Well, I have taller ants than you"
"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"
"Hah, I have an entire tin"
"I got bread!"
"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"
Two friends were comparing their belongings
The first guy goes: 'i have ants'
The second guy : 'well i have taller ants'
The first guy : 'well i got a tube of glue'
The second guy : 'and i have an entire tin of it'
The first guy: 'i got bread as well'
The second guy: 'ugh you win, i can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants.'
In the next few months, Jeff Bezos plans to go into space. There he will be forced to stay inside a small metal room and p**... in a tube.
I guess he is just trying to relate to his employees.
