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Try Not To Laugh Jokes

115 try not to laugh jokes and hilarious try not to laugh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about try not to laugh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Try Not To Laugh Jokes

Short try not to laugh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The try not to laugh humour may include short laugh jokes also.

  1. I tried to make a corona virus joke last year. Nobody laughed at the time, but eventually everyone got it.
  2. A girl told me to blow my load on her face... But when I tried, it just dribbled out and she started laughing.
    I said "Hey! Don't make fun of my shortcomings."
  3. What should you do when nobody laughs at your science jokes? Keep trying until you get a reaction.
  4. I did a gig at statistics seminar. Told 100 jokes to try and make people laugh. No pun in ten did.
  5. I tried one of those "Try Not To Laugh" challenges, but barely made it halfway before cracking up. I guess you could say... I fought the LOL, and the LOL won.
  6. TIFU by slipping in the shower and breaking my arm At first I tried to laugh it off but soon realised that this wasn't humerus
  7. A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis." The wife falls on the ground laughing. On the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
  8. What's a funny non-racist joke a Polish person would laugh at? Just trying to make a Polish girl I like laugh
  9. You know what actually makes me laugh? People trying to be unique as possible when it comes to making people saying happy cake day to them
  10. I told my girlfriend some puns. No matter how much I wanted them to make her laugh, no pun in ten did.
    P.S. You may be asking if I was trying to be cheesy. Nope, unintended.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about try not to laugh can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of try not to laugh puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Try Not To Laugh One Liners

Which try not to laugh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with try not to laugh? I can suggest the ones about laugh your head off and lots of laugh.

  1. I told my friends ten puns to try to make them laugh But no pun in ten did
  2. So a guy gave his friends 10 puns to try and make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
  3. I was trying to make my chiropractor laugh yesterday.. But he was the one cracking me up.
  4. Tried to make a joke in my math class and no one laughed.
    I think they were 2/10's.
  5. Okay, we've had so many countries, let's try it with german humour... ...now laugh!
  6. I told my friend two sets of five jokes to try and make him laugh... No pun in ten did.
  7. I tried a top 10 list of puns to get my stuck up roommate to laugh. No pun in ten did.
  8. My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was trying to be funny.
  9. Try not to laugh or grin challenge IMPOSSIBLE - Funny
  10. I tried to do stand up once, but I got laughed off the stage.
  11. Bob told his friends ten jokes and was trying to make them laugh But no pun in ten did.
  12. Spell "attic" backwards and try not to laugh

Cheeky Try Not To Laugh Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about try not to laugh you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean laughing hard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make try not to laugh prank.

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down.
The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy.
So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter.
They throw out a p**.... “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle.
“More!” he cries again.
They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.
He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport.
They get into a jeep and drive off.
Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying.
They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A p**... hit me on the head!”
They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder.
Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!”
They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically.
They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking.
He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk.
When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs.
Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly.
But,he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.
A few minutes later, as he was u**..., he noticed blood,so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible.
Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said.
"Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied, "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night,anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride.
So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest.
They start chatting and having a good time.
On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street.
The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back.
"You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."

A drunk looks at his watch...

A man, who has fattened the coffers of the local pub this night, looks at his watch and says, "Well, it's about time I go home, and spend some quality time with the wife."
He gets out of his chair, and can't even take two steps without falling on his face. "Don't worry!" he yells, "I can just *crawl* home!" Everyone in the bar has a good laugh at his optimism, and the man crawls out of the bar.
Once outside, he realizes he needs to sober up. Takes a few deep breaths, uses a lamp post to pull himself up... and proceeds to fall flat on his face again. "I don't live *that* far..." the drunk reasons to himself. So he crawls home... it takes him nearly an hour to get there. He's finally at his front door, and he's trying to open it all silent-like, but his wife opens the door and has that scowl of *you-f**...-up*.
"How much did you have to drink tonight?" she asked, nonplused.
"I--" and before he can even lie, she says, "The bar called. You left your wheelchair there."

A joke.

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace. Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

I've started dating this girl with a small handicap.

She's the greatest! She's smart, funny, beautiful in her own special way and so loving it eaves me at a lack of words.
She has a small issue, after a car c**..., she suffered some brain damage and has no short-term memory. It's kind of like that movie "memento", you might have seen it. We'll have a lovely day together, cheer, laugh, have fun, but she wont remember a thing in the morning.
We have our burdens, but I wouldn't leave her for anything in the world! I admire the way she handles her difficulties and I am proud of her.
Also: did I mention that, you know ... in the bedroom, she's willing to try anything, just once, to see if she likes it.

If al gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...

**Algorithms.**
Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

In the year 2500 Russia and the U.S. are the last countries on the earth....

In the year 2500 Russia and the U.S. are the last countries on the earth. They both want control of the earth, so they come up with this plan. They will have a dog fight in five years; what ever country wins this dog fight gets control of the earth. So the Russians ,having control of Europe, take the biggest, meanest Siberian wolfs and German shepards and breed them over and over until they get the perfect batch of pups. Then they train them make them mean and then breed them using new enhancement technologies. This goes on and on until the event comes then they pick they're biggest, meanest, and strongest pup at prime age. They go to the event and U.S. shows up with this 30ft long Doxen Terrier. The match begins and this Doxen just rips the Russians dog into pieces. The Russians are dumbfounded they can't figure out how this happened. So they go ask the head U.S. dog official "How did you beat us? We spent 5 years training the biggest meanest dogs we could find and our most advanced using enhancement technologies. Then we come here and your dog rips ours apart in no more than 30 seconds. The U.S. official laughs and says "Thats funny we spent 2 and a half years using our best plastic surgeons trying to get a crocodile to look like a dog!"

At a cocktail party...

an obstetrician's wife noticed that another guest, a big, oversexed blonde in a slinky red dress, was making overtures at her husband. As it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw the woman begin whispering into her husband's ear while her hand caressed his back.
At once she confronted the blonde b**... and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"

A Blond walks into a gas station...

and asks the employee: "I locked my keys in the car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
Ten minutes later a trucker comes in and can't stop laughing. So the employee asks him why he is laughing. The trucker says: "There is a Blond who tries to open her car with a coat hanger!" The employee: "So what? This could happen to anyone." Trucker: "Sure, but usually there isn't another Blond in the car who yells: a little more right / a little more left! "

Jesus knows you're here

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shines his flashlight around the house looking for valuables when a voice in the dark says "Jesus knows you're here." Freaked out, he turns his flashlight off and freezes, but hears nothing more so shakes his head and continues. As he is disconnecting cables from the TV, he hears very clearly "Jesus is watching you." Startled, he shines his light around frantically looking for the source of the voice. In the corner of the room he spots a Parrot. "Did you say that?" he asks. "Yes," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you." The burglar laughs a bit, "warn me huh? Who in the world are you!" "Moses." The bird replies. With a now humorous tone, the burglar asks "What kind of person would name a bird Moses?" The bird replies "the same kind of people who would name a rottweiler Jesus."

Swear on my life this is a true story. An experienced cook in my kitchen just slipped and fell in a fryer....

Was mostly ok, definitely could have gone worse as far as oil burns go. His elbow and a portion of his forearm were burned pretty serious and the whole kitchen had stopped and the sous chef was giving him medical attention when the new young cook, who people were still trying to warm up to, goes
"Now thats what I call.....elbow grease"
Whole kitchen stops dead in their tracks, including the guy who got hurt, and bursts out laughing. He's now our favourite.

A man stumbles across an old lamp.....

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over...

A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over by a police officer.
As the officer approaches the car, the drunk man jumps out of the door and tries to make a run for it. The cop, furious, catches up to the drunk man and brings him back to his car.
The officer proceeds to reach into his pocket and pull out a piece of chalk, which he uses to draw a circle on the ground around the vehicle and its intoxicated owner.
After the cop obtains the drunk man's license and registration, he informs the man that he will be arrested if he takes a single step out of the chalk circle.
The cop returns to his car, when he hears the drunk man giggling in the background. He returns and tells the drunk, "If you continue laughing, I'll break your car. Shut up and keep quiet."
Not ten seconds later he hears the drunk man snickering once again. The cop takes out his club and shatters the windshield of the Lamborghini. The drunk man's laughter grew even louder.
The cop yells, "stop laughing!" as he takes out his rage on the Lamborghini even further, breaking all of its windows and batting away at the car's exterior.
The drunk's laughter increases into an uncontrollable fit, as he is practically rolling on the ground beside his mutilated Lamborghini.
At last, the cop furiously asks, "Why do you keep laughing!!?"
The drunk man stands up and says, "While you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times."

A Finnish WWII air force verteran was about to give a talk to an American high school.

He was stereotypically Nordic: pale skin, fair hair, and a heavy accent.
He introduced himself and began with a vivid description of his first dogfight in the Lapland War. "Literally the moment after we take off and got through the fog we saw them. Eight pesky Fokkers were spread out and firing in front of me and my buddies. We had to go in defense position and try to outflank them, but they got flight leader. On second approach we shot a few down and dispersed the rest. On third approach I shot two Fokkers down, but another one got me in the rudder. I went into tail spin and had to bail out. Luckily the f**...-"
The principal of the school suddenly interjected, as at this point nearly everyone was laughing. "Now, students, please be respectful of our guest and where he is from. As some of you may know, a Fokker," the principal said slowly, carefully pronouncing the word, "is a type of German fighter plane used in World War II. There is no need to-"
The Finn had to interrupt, "Excuse me Mr. Principal, actually Fokker is Dutch. We were shooting down Messerschmitts."

In a torrential stormy and a foggy day a very drunk man was trying to hitch hike a lift home...

In a torrential stormy and a foggy day a very drunk man was trying to hitch hike a lift home and no cars would stop. When out of the blue a car pulled up moving very slowly and stopped right in front of him. Asking no questions he jumps into the back seat - relived that finally he had a lift. As the excitement of the lift subsided - he realized that the car had no driver. The car started moving again. The man braced himself as the car moved towards a couple of bends. As the car hit the bends a mysterious hand would pop through the window and turn the car. The man was completely freaked out by this. Ghost car! When he could take no more of this he jumped out of the car and ran for dear life. He came up to a tavern and had to go in for a drink. Inside there were fellow drinkers enjoying their drinks and he just had to let them know what had happened to him. At first the other fellows laughed but then the man started crying...and they thought it has to be true. At that moment two guys stormed into the tavern...shouting, " we ran out of gas and while we were pushing our car some mad man jumped in... Did he happen to come in here?"

A new recruit is sent to an outpost in the Jungle.

A new recruit is sent out in the jungle to a small outpost, where there are only a few other soldiers there, all of them experienced veterans. After a few weeks, the soldier begins to feel a little unsatisfied with his s**... life, so he goes to ask the sergeant what he can do about it. The sergeant says, "Well, every Sunday, we go out into the jungle, find a bunch of female gorillas and have s**... with them."
The recruit is disgusted, and refuses to join the sergeant and the rest of the soldiers on Sunday.
After a few more weeks, the recruit decides to finally join the rest of the soldiers on their trip to the gorillas, just to try it out. When they get there, all of the soldiers rush back in forth in order to grab a gorilla, leaving the recruit with only one.
Suddenly, all of the soldiers start laughing at him. Not quite knowing why, the recruit yells,"Im not the only one having s**... with a Gorilla!"
The sergeant responds, "No, you just got the ugly one".

An old one my late grandmother used to tell

In a Catholic school English classroom, a nun was giving the lesson.
"Today, children, we'll be talking about rhyme. Does anyone have a rhyme they'd like to share?"
Several little hands shot up. The nun pointed to the smallest girl, Sally, in the front.
"Hey, d**..., d**...,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon."
"Very good, Sally." said the nun. "Who else?" She called on a little boy, Jack.
"It has my name in it!
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe."
"Wonderful rhyme, Jack!" replied the nun. Now, in the back of the class sat Michael. Michael came from a loud Irish family and was known as a troublemaker. The nun had tried to pick the other students before him, but he was beginning to make a commotion so she sighed and called out "yes, Michael."
"I've got a rhyme for you, Sister" he said.
"Mary came from Boston, Mass. and went into the water up to her knees."
"Michael," began the nun, "that doesn't rhyme."
"Oh, I know Sister. But wait until the tide comes in."

A farmer and his wife have been married many years.

The farmer has a talent for f**... very loudly. Everytime he does so his wife says "one of these days your gonna f**... your guts out." This goes on for years until after one Thanksgiving diner the wife decides to play a trick on her husband. She takes the insides she had cleaned out of the turkey, prior to cooking it, and sneaks upstairs while he is asleep from the big meal. She puts them inside his underwear knowing he's gonna f**... right after he wakes up and goes back downstairs to be with the family. After a while the family hears a scream from the bedroom and rushes to see what's going on. The farmer says to the family "well it finally happened; I f**... my guts out." The wife trying not to laugh asks "well what did you do?" The farmer puts his fingers together and says "by the grace of God and with these two fingers... I shoved them back up in there."

I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here with a translation. Thanks!

A man and his memories

A man was going on vacation for the first time in 20 years. He is very grumpy becuase he has not been off of work in a long time. So he is driving down the highway, and he sees an advertisement for a free chance to meet an Indian man who claims that he can tell you one of your most distant memories. He doesnt beleive it and continues driving. Soon, he pulls over for gas, and as he fills up, he sees the tee-pee that the old Indian man was living in. He figures since he has already stopped, he should go over and check it out. He walks over and enters. Without so much as a simple "Hello", he blurts out "What did I have for breakfast 20 years ago?" The Indian folds his arms and concentrates. After a few seconds, he shouts out "EGGS!" The grumpy man snorts and says, "how would you know what I ate for breakfast 20 years ago?!" and storms out laughing.
10 years past, and the man is driving down the same highway going on another vacation. He sees the old tee-pee and pulls over. He thought to himself "I was pretty mean to the guy all those years ago, maybe I will go and apologize" He also figures he will try some of the Indians' native language. He knows that this particular language has "Hi" being said "How". So he walks in and aproaches the old Indian man saying "How" The Indian man folds his arms and thinks. Confused, the other man just stands there and waits for him to say hi back. After a few seconds, the old Indian yells out "SCRAMBLED!"

GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.

Fat chick

I was ice-skating today, just minding my own business, when I noticed a rather plump woman, who kept giving me the eye.
Eventually, she came over to me.
"Hi there. I'm a bit shy and I'm not very good at breaking the ice!" she laughed.
"Have you tried jumping?" I asked.

Granny's boyfriend

A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."

God enjoys a good laugh!!

(found on my FB newsfeed)
**There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:**
* He called everyone brother;
* He liked Gospel;
* He didn't get a fair trial.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:**
* He went into His Father's business;
* He lived at home until he was 33;
* He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:**
* He talked with His hands;
* He had wine with His meals;
* He used olive oil.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:**
* He never cut His hair;
* He walked around barefoot all the time;
* He started a new religion.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:**
* He was at peace with nature;
* He ate a lot of fish;
* He talked about the Great Spirit.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:**
* He never got married;
* He was always telling stories;
* He loved green pastures.
**But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman:**
* He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food;
* He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it;
* And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
Can I get an AMEN!!

A bear and a rabbit are fighting in the woods.

Along comes the magical turtle of the forrest and says to them "if you two stop fighting I will grant you each 3 wishes." As to both bear and rabbit agree. First wish the bear says "I wish all the bears in this forrest except for me to be female" the rabbit without even hesitating says "I want a bike!". The bear looks at him in shock trying not to yell at him fpr such a s**... wish. Second wish the bear goes "I want all the bears in this forrest and the next forrest other than me to be female" the rabbit starts laughing and says "I want a bike!". Bear gets mad again at the bad wish rabbit ignores him. Third wish bear goes "I want all the bears in the world other than me to be female" at this point the rabbit is in tears from laughing, he puts on his helmet gets on his bike and as hes driving away he yells "I wish the bear was gay!"

Jesus is watching

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in
the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

My manly password

My wife and I were trying to set up a new password for our computer.
Trying to be clever, I put "Mypenis" and my wife fell to the ground laughing hysterically because on the screen it said:
**"Error. Not long enough."**

A man is spending his first night in prison...

He's laying in his bunk when the lights go out. After a few minutes, he hears someone shout, "13!" followed by a chorus of laughter.
Another few minutes go by and he hears, "27!" followed by more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asks his cell mate.
"Well, we've heard the same jokes so many times, we just gave them all numbers so we don't have to waste time repeating them."
A little more time passes and then someone erupts, "34!" to a few guffaws.
The man decides to try and join in by yelling, "19!"
He is greeted by silence. He asks his bunkmate, "Why didn't they laugh?"
His bunkmate replies, "You didn't tell it right."

I know 10 facts about you:

Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment. :)

My father told me this one :D

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts: "Mypenis"
and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says "Error. Not long enough."

Unidentified Submarine

Three Americans are sitting inside their submarine when suddenly they see an unidentified sub on their radar. They try to radio the people inside but no one answers. So they decide the best way to figure out who it belongs to is to go out into the water and look for markings on the sub.
First guy goes out, comes back a few minutes later and says "I couldn't see any markings on it...no clue who it is."
Second guy goes out, comes back a few minutes later and says "yeah same here, no flags, marks, nothing."
Third guys goes out, comes back a minute later, laughing. First two guys are confused so they ask him what happened. He said,
"They're Romanians."
"How do you know that?" They ask him.
He says "I knocked and they opened."

There was a man who loved puns.

There once was a man who loved puns. They were his favorite kind of humor, and he would often spend time trying to come up with new ones. One morning he was feeling particularly inspired and thought up ten brand new puns. And so he went about his day with the intention of using his new puns to get a laugh from his friends, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Comedy club challenge

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter a comedy club challenge where they have to not laugh at the comedians best jokes. With a prize of £10,000 they set off with their best poker faces.
The first comedian enters the stage and tries his joke with a funny accent and the brunette laughs and gets disqualified. Just the blonde and the redhead left now.
When the second comedian tells his joke and the redhead is trying her best to hold back a laugh and but ends up letting it out. There's only the blonde left now and as the final comedian walks up to the stage the blonde bursts out into laughter.
He says angrily "oh come on! I never even got to tell my joke.. Why did you laugh? "
"I just got the first one" she replied after calming down.

if I'm ever trying to m**... someone...

If I'm ever trying to m**... someone and they're getting away, I'm just gonna yell "WAIT! YOU'RE ON SCARE TACTICS!"
and as they come back laughing I'll stab them 47 times in the chest.

My Friend once tried his hand at stand-up comedy

My friend once tried his hand at stand-up comedy.It was so pathetic that everybody just laughed at his jokes.

I had a friend who smoked cigarettes like it's water.

Everyone tried to help him quit the habit. He told everyone, "don't worry. When and if I die, you guys will have a laugh." He passed away eventually. All his friends were at the f**.... On his tombstone was engraved, "finally quit smoking."

My friend likes puns so I came up with ten of them to try and make him laugh...

...but no pun in ten did.

I saw some children playing cops and robbers

When I tried to tell them it used to be played cops or robbers, they laughed at me and went back to robbing the one playing the citizen.

A 11-year-old child walks in on his parents...

having s**... and his father stops and sees his son with a worried face. The father says to the son while nervously laughing, "Don't worry, it's ok, I just love your mom, go to bed now." The son then goes into his grandmother's room. The father then searches for his son and finds him trying to have s**... with his grandmother, who is still dead asleep. The son looks up to his father's horrified face and says, "It's not so funny when it is your mother, is it?"

Trying to catch the bus

A man is trying to catch the bus, hes running and everytime he almost makes it he stumbles and falls, the crowd on the bus is laughing their butts off, a lady opens a window and tells the man :" Please stop it, we will wee our pants" to which the man replies :" thats nothing soon you will sht your pants, because im the bus driver"

A blonde is trying to put together a puzzle

She simply cannot figure out how to do it, so she calls her boyfriend.
He asks her: "What is the puzzle is supposed to look like when finished?" and she replies, " it's supposed to look like a tiger."
He drives to her house, and when he gets there, he begins laughing hysterically.
"Why are you laughing?" She asks.
"These are Frosted Flakes."

My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...

We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a c**... grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is really rubbing off on him.

A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with m**......

It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

A couple of men in prison were telling each other jokes

After telling them so many times to each other they started referring to them as numbers. Someone would shout "45!" and they'd all start laughing. One day a new inmate arrived. He never understood why they laughed everytime someone said a number, so he just laughed along. After a week or so he decided it was his turn to try, so he shouted "345!" and to his luck, everyone laughed like never before because they hadn't heard that one before.

I'm going to try to get laughs with a pun based on formatting.

I kinda doubt it's going to work, but I'm feeling pretty **bold** today.

The rope joke

A man is walking down the street one day when he notices another man coming towards him, dragging a length of rope. It's about 20 feet long and not tied to anything, so as they pass the first man says, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your rope. May I ask why you're pulling it along?"
The second guy laughs and says, "You really need to ask? Have you ever tried to push a rope!?"

Did you guys hear about the new platformer where the enemies just try to make you laugh?

It's funny on so many levels.

My cigarette packet

My cigarette packet has a warning printed on it: "Smoking seriously harms you and others around you."
I always try to laugh as I light up, just to protect myself.

I understand that people try to make others laugh by being cheesy but

Don't you get that some people are laughtose intolerant?

"The truth shall set you free" I tell my kids.

Then they usually reply "c'mon dad that's so tacky and cliche"
And then I laugh trying to get them to laugh
Then they start laughing
Then I laugh even more!
Thetruth is the pass word to their cages!
Bahahahaha!

Did you ever hear about the un-funny clown?

He tried ten times to make the audience laugh, but no pun in ten did.

I tried telling higher value jokes in Walmart but nobody was laughing.

I guess it wasn't my Target Audience.

I could either write one good joke, or spend all my life trying.

Either way, I will get people to laugh.

Everyone knows it takes ten tickles to make an Octopus laugh, but what do you call it when you're just trying out tickling?

Test tickles

Guy visits his friend in prison

and sees them yelling out numbers and laughing hysterically. He asks his friend why they do this, to which his friend replies, "we've all been here so long that we give numbers to all the jokes, and just say the number instead of telling it. why don't you try?"
the guy gets up on a table and says "seven!"
nobody laughs. "what, seven isn't a funny joke?" he asks
his friend responds "nah, you just didn't tell it right."

Fighting Against Real Truths

I thought I knew what you really were
I thought you could ease my pain
Put an end to all this aching
And make me laugh again
I've known your kind before
I thought you weren't the same
Just trying to get in my pants
And fill my head with shame
I've held onto you for too long
So now I'll let you free
Nobody to witness
It's only you and me
Sure doesn't come out easy
But it's coming from the heart
Luckily no one can see
That it wasn't just a f**...

That feeling when you're trying to crack jokes with your friends and everyone stops laughing

"You're doing that too much, please try again in 6 minutes."

A humor-challenged preacher really wanted to try to use jokes to make his sermons more engaging.

One day, he went to hear a speech, and the speaker said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!". The audience was shocked. The speaker then said the punchline, "and that woman was my mother!" and he got a lot of laughs.
The preacher decided to copy that joke at the beginning of his sermon. So he said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!". Unfortunately, he forgot the punchline. So he finished with, "and sadly, I don't remember who she was!".

A rich couple lost all their money and was trying to think of ways to restore their fortunes.

The husband says to the wife if you learn to cook, we could get rid of the housekeeper
She laughed and replied if you learned to please me in bed, we could get rid of the gardener

I've always wanted to take someone out, but for some reason she thought I was trying to take her out.

We had a good laugh about it over dinner, right before I killed her.

A programmer wants to try stand up.

A programmer wants to try stand up. So he practices for a while and goes to comedy clubs and learns for a while. Then one day he decided will be doing a show. While performing, he will tell a joke and no one laughs and then he will go back the the start of joke a changes a bit and tells it again, you could see few people struggling to laugh but not quite enough, then he goes back to the start of the joke change a bit and repeats again, this time everyone laughs. Some one from crowd asks why did you mistake your joke, why he had to go back to the beginning and start over? Programmer I had to debug a bit to find out what worked for this crowd..

My brother felt down, so I tried telling him 10 puns in order to make him laugh.

Sadly, no pun in 10 did.

One day at work some friends were talking about the s**... they had on their wedding night.

First friend said 'oh we enjoyed it a lot, we did it 6 times and tried different positions each time.'
Second said 'that's nothing, we did it almost 13 times till I was completely dry and exhausted'
They asked the third guy about his wedding night, he replied that they did it only once and slept.
Both friends started laughing hysterically and asked why.
He calmly replied 'she wasn't used to it'.

A guy at the beach hears from his friends that chicks will show more interest in you if you put a potato in your swim trunks.

He tries this for a while but gets flustered when all the girls keep pointing and laughing at him.
So his friends explain to him that you're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT of your bathing suit.

A little boy killed a butterfly.

His dad looked at him disappointed and said,
"Son, because you killed that butterfly you won't get butter for a week."
A month later he killed a honeybee, his dad looked at him and said,
"Son, because you killed that honeybee you won't get honey for a week."
The boy looks at his father and says, "I also killed a cockroach."
The dad laughs at him and said, "Nice Try!"

Bad punz 1

Got electrocuted at work today.
Didn't think That would happen to me.
I was shocked.
I know you're trying not to laugh,
But give up.
Resistance is futile.
This post isn't going anywhere.
One could say it appears to be static.
It Has taken all my will power to type these.
I hate my current self.
*facepalm*
Pls comment "NO PART 2 PLS GOD NO" so i can die a happy man.

The things kids say....

I work in a middle school and I was talking to a 6th grader today. He was bummed because he's so short:
He says: I should go back to kindergarten with kids my own size.
Me: Well maybe you should try 1st grade because you already know the alphabet, right?
He didn't skip a beat and responded: I'm so American, the only letters I know are U, S and A!
It was hilarious.!! Thank you children for making us laugh.

Before judging a fat person, try walking a mile...

around their waistline. If you're still walking, go ahead and laugh.

Saucy!?

I tried to make a 'fancy' sauce last night at dinner, I mixed v**..., gravy and nitrous oxide, sadly, all I managed was make myself an Absolut laughing stock!

jokes about try not to laugh

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these try not to laugh jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.