trust Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious trust puns

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

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Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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Why doesn't Jesus trust mankind?

He's afraid he'll get double crossed

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One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!!

I'll fuck their boyfriends

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!"

Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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I told my wife I lost 10 lbs in one hour

"No way. That's impossible!" she said.

"Trust me," I said, "I have no idea where our baby is."

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5 advices to men for a happy life

1. You should find a woman that helps you with the cleaning and the chores,

2. You should find a woman that is a good cook,

3. You should find a woman that you can trust and share your feelings with,

4. You should find a woman that enjoys making love to you,

5. Last and the most important thing is that these 4 women should never meet.

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IT guy

John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "

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Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future.

Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.

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Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info.

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Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

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Why doesn't Jesus trust mankind?

Because he's afraid they'll double-cross him

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Trust is everything

Some teachers from an engineering school were invited to a trip.
After they were all comfortably seated, they were informed that the plane was built by their students.
They got up and ran desperately to the outside of the plane, almost panicking.
Only one teacher remained calm and seated at his spot. When the other teachers asked why he was so calm he said: "I know the capacity of my students, if they built it, I'm sure this bloody thing won't even start"

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FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO LIVE HAPPY LIFE!

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be in it with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other

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What's the definition of trust?

Two gay cannibals giving each other a blow job

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I don't trust stairs...

They look like they're up to something.

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One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, and gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAM!!!

I'll have sex with their boyfriends.

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Erections happen all the time

A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."

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I don't trust umbrellas.

They're shady.

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Five secrets of a perfect Relationship

1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
4. It`s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It`s absolutely important that these four women never meet.

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Why can't you trust an artist?

Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you

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I don't trust people with graph paper

They're always plotting something

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A joke my Dad made up (says lots bout Dad): A philosopher and a nudist are at a beach resort...

The philosopher asks the nudist, "have you read marx? And the nudist replies, "why, yes! But I think it's the wicker chairs."

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Never trust a mathematician with a graph.

They're always plotting something.

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Never trust stairs,

They're always up to something.

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A guy's brought into a psych ward for an evaluation.

Guy: Doc, I'm not crazy.

Doc: That's something crazy people say.

Guy: But...okay, so what if I say I *am* crazy?

Doc: I'd trust your judgment.

Guy: So what the hell do sane people say???

Doc: 'My insurance doesn't cover this.'

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Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

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What is the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.

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A policeman said he wanted to search my car.

"You won't find any drugs," I told him.

He said, "You don't sound sure about that."

I said, "Trust me, I looked earlier."

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Don't trust people who avoid the sun.

They're shady.

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One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust, become their confidant. And when they least expect it, BAAM!

I'll have sex with their boyfriends.

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My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone.

So I sat there waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievable sexy sister was sitting next to me. A few moments later she whispered to me:
"We should have sex while my sister isn't home."
I immediately got up and turned around to head back to my car. I find my girlfriend standing by the door, she hugged me and said:
"You've just won my trust honey!"

Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in your car.

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Never trust anybody who has graph paper.

They're always plotting something.

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I stopped going to my acupuncturist because I couldn't trust him

He was a backstabber.

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You know why I don't trust gay people?

Because they're never straight with me

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What are the most funny Trust jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Trust? Well, here are the best Trust dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Trust pick up lines to share with friends.

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