The Best 56 Trumpet Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Trumpet jokes. There are some trumpet brass jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these trumpet trumpet player puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Trumpet Jokes and Puns

Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director

Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake?
"Hi, I'm better than you"

Heaven Between Legs

A nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession.

"Mother, today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the key to Heaven and put it in the gates."

"Why that lying ba***rd !" the Mother Superior screamed. "For years he has told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been blowing it!"

What do you call a cheap trumpet?

A frugal horn

Trumpet joke, What do you call a cheap trumpet?

Two friends are disscussing...

"Who do you think is the biggest figure in the last 100 years?"

"Definitely that Armstrong guy."

"Why?"

"Why are you even asking? Playing the trumpet like a champ, landing on the Moon and winning tour de France is not big enough for you?"

I'd say I'm quite good at sex

...but I'm not able to blow my own trumpet


Trumpets and Guns

In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.

One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?"

"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun."

My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM

Did that bother you?

Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet.

Trumpet joke, My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM

Middle of the night...

Middle of the night asking a guest at a party after the time. The host says: "My watches are unfortunately broken, but we did the same!" He opens the window, brings his trumpet and begins to play. As a neighbor opens his window and yells: "Are you mad? It is at half past two! "

If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets.

I'd hate to toot my own horn

What's the instrument of oppression?

the Trumpet

What did the Scotsman do to the trumpet plant?

He rooted it oot.

You can explore trumpet lyre reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean trumpet lute dad jokes. There are also trumpet puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Music Jokes!

Jake: What did the Clarinet say to the naughty Trumpet?
Sean: What?
Jake: Why are you always in treble?

Why Monica Lewinsky will campaign for the Republicans this time....

She wants to blow Donald's trumpet.

What would be the most useless superpower?

How about the ability to go invisible, but it only works while you're playing a trumpet.

Why are trumpets more expensive than clarinets?

Brass tax

What is the most racist (and ignorant) musical instrument?

The Trumpet.

Trumpet joke, What is the most racist (and ignorant) musical instrument?

What does a German use to polish his trumpet?

Toot tonic

What do you call a self-absorbed trumpet player?

Brasshole

What instrument do Mexicans hate?

The TRUMPet.


How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?

13, 1 to actually do it and the other 12 talk about how much better they could have done it.

If your job is to play a type of trumpet on a large rotating wheel and you finally take a day off...

Is it ferris bugler's day off?

Which musical instrument does Vladimir Putin know how to play best?

The TRUMPet!

What do you call a woman of the night playing a trumpet?

A prosti-toot

I don't like to blow my own trumpet.

Which is probably why I got removed from the school orchestra.

There were two friends drinking and one says to the other

I have a trumpet that tells the hour.
"The hour?" the friend asks.
Yes, yes look.... he grabs the trumpet and opens the window and starts to play it like crazy when all of a sudden you can hear...
"You $#@% it's 3 in the morning"

Why did the Trumpeter get in trouble?

He got caught tooting his own horn.

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?

Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

Trump was asked what his favorite musical instrument is, and said "Trumpet."

He was asked what his favorite topic is, and said "Tropics."

He was asked what his favorite multiplier is, said "Triple."

He was asked what he favorite reason is, said "Treaso-...shut up."

What do. A trumpet and a pirate have in common?

They both commit murder on the high C(sea)

If you suck at the trumpet

maybe that's why.

How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10; 1 to do it, and 9 to stand around and say how much better of a job they could have done.

The new tenants

Landlord: How are the new tenants above you.

Renter: They are ok. But it sounds like they are bang on the floor every night at 1 in the morning.

Landlord: That is outrageous. I will talk to them at once.

Renter: No. It is really not that big of a deal. I am usually up then practising my trumpet.

What do you call it when a professional trumpet player calls in sick because he has too much iron in his blood?

Ferrous bugler's day off

What is Vladimir Putin's favorite instrument to play?

A Trumpet!

I can't play the trumpet...

...I suck.

If the President had a dog

Would it be a Trumpet?

My cousin was curious as to how a bear was taught to play the trumpet even if it didn't sound very good...

I shrugged and answered.

"I guess it learned the bear minimum."

What Do You Call An Arrogant Trumpet Player?

A Brass-Hole

What did the trumpeter do when he was constipated?

He rooted-it-oot.

(Works best to say it out loud)

What do you do with a rubber trumpet?

Join an elastic band.

If you suck at playing the trumpet,

That's probably why.

How did the jewish ram's-horn trumpet get it's name?

Because you can hear it from shofar away.

What's worse than your neighbor playing the trumpet at 4 am?

Him not quite knowing how to play the trumpet at 4 am

Last time I rode the train in London, I taught my dog to play the trumpet.

We went from Barking to Tooting.

(you may need to be British to get this joke but trust me it's amazing)

I'm castrated and my Queen sent me to buy a trumpet specifically for men like me. Only problem is...

...eunuch horns don't exist.

Which is the President's favorite musical instrument?

The Trumpet.

What did the Scottish woman do when she found a trumpet buried in her garden?

She had to root-e-toot

I want the trumpets from Uptown Funk to play in the background wherever I go.

Don't believe me? Just watch.

*cop pulls me over*

COP: please blow into this, sir

ME: *plays trumpet perfectly*

COP: okay you're definitely sober and way cool

Satchmo: "My trumpet is very handy. It tells me what time it is." Sanborn: "Seriously?" Satchmo launches into a jazzy riff.

Immediately, the occupant of the apartment next door bangs on the wall and hollers, "Hey, pipe down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"

Why did the politician join the orchestra?

He wanted to play the trumpet.

Coffee Shop

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to pass gas.

The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my butt trumpet to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.

I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.

I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod with earbuds.

If you suck at playing the trumpet...

...that's probably why.

My neighbor who had horrible jokes passed away this week. This was one of his favorites. Enjoy a good (bad) pun in his memory.

Trumpets and Guns

In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.

One day his neighbr pays him a visit and says, β€ŸSo how is your strange business going?

β€ŸWhat do you mean strange?

β€ŸBecause you sell only trumpets and guns!

β€ŸSo?

β€ŸWell, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?

β€ŸIt evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun.

I saw a man on the London Underground, teaching his dog to play the trumpet.

He went from Barking to Tooting

I taught my pet dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground today

He went from Barking to Tooting in about 15 minutes

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the trumpet pinball jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working trumpet percussion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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