Following is our collection of Trump jokes which are very funny. There are some trump gingrich jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these trump donald trump puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Like he's a Muslim or something.
"Mister President, we've been over this..."
One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
The correct term is "turd-world countries".
Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
You can explore trump gop reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean trump nomination dad jokes. There are also trump puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
It didn't help that she was still wearing them.
Or that his whole family was there.
That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.
And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..
That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.
They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
Macron: Is that why he was late?
Trudeau: He was late because he takes a 40-minute press conference off the top !
Trudeau: Oh, yeah, yeah yeah. He announced ...
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.
One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"
"What do you mean strange?"
"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"
"So?"
"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?"
"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun."
The Trump card.
Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
Not a political post, I just love to travel
The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."
John (while writing Revelations): "So Lord, the end will be signaled by trumpets?"
God: "No... I said Trump/Pence."
John: Yeah, trumpets.
God: "Never mind. They'll know."
He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
Trump 20:16
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
Hitler was good at making speeches
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"
Pence: The fewer
Trump: I told you not to call me that yet
Democrats: He's guilty
Trump: I'm guilty
Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
I did and we do.
Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to see who's the fastest
Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes
Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes
Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama is fairly optimistic
Until Bush did 9:11
The Trump card.
Now you know who the best people are
The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."
But that's comparing apples to oranges.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
George Washington couldn't tell a lie.
Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth.
Donald Trump can't tell the difference
He should have just hired her!
America
If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.
This is not a political post. I just want to travel.
The United States of America.
It's Trudeau.
After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
I said ok.. Biden
Because he definitely doesn't have any cash.
He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
He might get to be president for the rest of his life.
But, no one else would get it.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
Everyone else is forbiden
If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
This is not a political post, I just want to travel
All he has to do is lose 50lbs.
He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
Denial.
Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the golf courses and all the white men
Couldn't Make America Great Again
Because that's where the winner has the lowest score.
But apparently not 2 terms.
Pardon me, please.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .
Lose an election.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.
None. Trumps says it's done and they all cheer in the dark
Unpresidented
Because before they got there they had already drank the 'Q'-laid.
Orange is the New Black.
Because they're on a no fly list.
He's desperate to prove that anything a Democrat can do, he can do better and in half the time.
Because 60 percent of Americans would spit on the front side, and 40 percent would lick the back side.
..for improving my vocabulary. I would have never known the meaning of sedition, insurrection, quid pro quo, colluding, etc without you!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the trump primaries jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working trump trump impeachment piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.