The Best 72 Trum Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Trum jokes. There are some trum oboe jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these trum man puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Trum Jokes and Puns

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

Trump should not have said "shit-hole countries".

The correct term is "turd-world countries".

When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan

But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution

Trum joke, When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan

Boris Johnson, Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron at NATO meeting joking about Trump:

Macron: Is that why he was late?

Trudeau: He was late because he takes a 40-minute press conference off the top !

Trudeau: Oh, yeah, yeah yeah. He announced ...

Trumpets and Guns

In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.

One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?"

"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun."


How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Look, we can change the lightbulb. That I will tell you. We're changing it, ok? And I understand what you're saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say "Is the lightbulb really dead?". Thats what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The lightbulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

Trum joke, Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country

Not a political post, I just love to travel

If Trump is elected president...

He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.

If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...

What type of sandwich would you make?

"Mr. Trump, have you changed your plans for mass deportation?"

"No, I have not. I will deport 11 million undocumented immigrants and two dogs."

"Why the two dogs?"

"See? Nobody cares about the immigrants!"

You can explore trum sax reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean trum day dad jokes. There are also trum puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M-

A-N. 1948. HUGE upset.

Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true.

Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"

"Band? We thought you said ban"

Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"

2 Trump Supporters go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."

Trump calls Angela Merkel's office...

Trump calls Angela Merkel's office. Secretary answers.

Trump: What's the time difference between Washington and Berlin ?

Secretary: Just a second, Mr. President…

Trump: Thanks

Trum joke, Trump calls Angela Merkel's office...

How do you keep Trump busy for the rest of his term?

Tell him his twitter phone is in the corner of his office.

..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"

Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*

he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

The trump family is flying from New York to DC

Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"


Trump Today

Trump Today:

Missile #1: "You're fired!"

Missile #2: "You're fired!"

Missile #3: "You're fired!"

And so on 56 more times.

How many Trump supporters does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They'd rather be in the dark about things.

Trump: The less immigrants that come in, the better

Pence: The fewer

Trump: I told you not to call me that yet

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'.

In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"

The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.

Why is Trump excited Russia was banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics?

It makes it easier to decide who to cheer for

Trump cancelled his trip to Britain because he doesn't want to go anywhere he doesn't feel welcome...

So what's he still doing in the white house?

You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country

The White House seems to always be hiring.

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station

They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

Trump called Putin to congratulate him on winning the election.

Putin said, 'Thanks, but why have you waited for over a year?

Trump Advisor: "You should't have called Putin to congratulate him on winning a sham election...."

Trump: "Why not? He called to congratulate me!"

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to see who's the fastest

Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes

Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes

Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama is fairly optimistic

Until Bush did 9:11

Trump in a conference

A reporter asked Trump, "What does the J stands for in Donald J Trump?"

Trump replied, "The J stands for Genius."

Trump should hire the Chinese to build the wall.

They had one for over 2000 years and they still don't have any Mexicans.

Why does Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

I know now why Trump wants to build a wall

It's been years since he managed to erect anything

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton...

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.

Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.

TRUMP IS NOT MY PRESIDENT

Neither was Obama. Actually I live in India.

Trump reportedly asked to be added to Mount Rushmore

Turns out granite isn't a dense enough material to represent him

If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up...

He should have just hired her!

Trump and Biden are trapped on island. Who survives?

America

You may not believe me when I say that Trump isn't the Prime Minister of Canada

It's Trudeau.

Trump and his family are traveling in a plane.

Trump decides to drop a 100 dollar note from the plane. His wife asks what he is doing. His reply is I want to make an American happy

His wife replies back Why don't you drop ten 10 dollar notes and make ten Americans happy?

Their daughter gives a suggestion Why don't you drop hundred 1 dollar notes and make hundred Americans happy?

The pilot overhears their conversation and gives his own suggestion on the matter.

Why don't you three drop yourselves from the plane and make all Americans happy?

Say what you will about Trump

But it was pretty nice of him to air such a long ad for Biden free of charge

Trump tests positive for COVID-19.

He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.

Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19

when all he had to do was to not get tested.

>!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!<

Trump might finally get what he wants the most

He might get to be president for the rest of his life.

Trump was taken to Walter Reed tonight

I wish him a speedy recovfefe

Trump got COVID...

Well my wife and I don't see eye to eye politically. One was happy, the other worried... you understand. So after much debate, we came to a compromise: we sent him a get well soon card that said stay positive.

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed Trump Sucks in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .

Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve.

Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States

If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States

This is not a political post, I just want to travel

Trump still has a chance at 270

All he has to do is lose 50lbs.

Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, ninni laaksonen, Cassandra searless, Mariah billado, Victoria Hughes, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, and Samantha holvey.

Trumpty Dumpty

Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall

Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the golf courses and all the white men

Couldn't Make America Great Again

Why did Trump play golf after the election ?

Because that's where the winner has the lowest score.

What did Trump say when Dracula ran away with his things?

STOP THE COUNT!

What did Trump say to Biden in the hallway of the white house?

Pardon me, please.

Why didn't Trump buy anything when he went to the UK?

He only had one Pence

Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years

Lose an election.

Trump visits an elementary school

Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, what do you all want to be when you grow up?

A farmer, shouts one.

An astronaut, shouts another.

The President of the United States, confidently says a little girl.

Who said that, shouts Trump. The little girl raises her hand and he darts eyes at her. He begins to fume, are you joking? Are you brainless? Are you a complete moron? Are you stupid? Are you an idiot?

The little girl, taken aback, says, on second thought, nevermind! That sounds like too many requirements!

What do trump and a Christmas tree both have in common ?

They both get thrown out in January

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?

God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trumps says it's done and they all cheer in the dark

Trump, Cruz and Graham is sitting in a restaurant and the waiter comes over and asks...

Is everything alt right?

Trump said he's not going to pardon the Capitol rioters.

He only likes people who weren't captured.

Trump actually attended Biden's inauguration

He was the crying baby you heard right before Biden took his oath

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven.

They ask God if he'd answer one question.
"Of course" God says.
They ask how the Democrats rigged the election in 2020.
"It wasn't rigged" God replies.

The Trump supporters look at each other and say, "This conspiracy goes higher than we thought!"

Trump, Putin, Manafort, Flynn and Giuliani walk into a bar..

the bartender immediately shouts White Russians for Everyone!

Trump, walking and arguing with a critic, stops a random person in the street to ask their opinion on the matter at hand.

Trump: Sir, maybe you can settle something for us; what do YOU think of how I performed as president of the United States?

Random Guy: Monumental

Trump: Thank you sir, you've been very helpful!

(To the Critic) See?! What did I tell you?

Critic: uhhhhh...that guy was Jamaican.

Trump will move to Mar-a-Lago once his tax returns go public

That will be his last resort

How do you keep a Trump supporter occupied?

Give me $50 now and I'll tell you in just 4 weeks!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the trum buys jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working trum customer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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