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Truck Jokes

161 truck jokes and hilarious truck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about truck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy some of the best jokes about Ford, Dodge, Chevy, and Tow Trucks! From hauling heavy loads to zipping along highways, trucks are a central part of the car culture. Great for a laugh at the cruiser's wheeler, bring some truck-related humor into your life.

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Popular Truck Short Jokes

Short truck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The truck humour may include short tractor jokes also.

  1. With the rise of self-driving vehicles... With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too
  2. Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today? My wife: It's impossible to live with him. He's too literal.
    Me: My truck.
  3. We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.
  4. I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
    They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
  5. With the rise of self driving vehicles, we shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.
  6. Officer: I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck. Man: Yeah but she's got a great personality
  7. I was hit by a truck carrying a bunch of Omega 3 capsules It's okay, I only sustained super fish oil injuries
  8. Tonight, while telling my grown children some dad jokes, my 34 y/o son hit me with… What's the difference between dad and an ice cream truck? The ice cream truck has Good Humor!
  9. Policemen: I'm sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife got hit by a truck. Man: I know, but she has a great personality.
  10. what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B
    this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom

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Truck One Liners

Which truck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with truck? I can suggest the ones about cargo and vehicle.

  1. What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
    ...I'll see myself out.
  2. Two cheese trucks ran into each other De brie was everywhere.
  3. Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? They only had 2 trucks
  4. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
    I'm sorry.
  5. What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck? a daeshcam
  6. Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie
  7. Difference between Trump and a dump truck? Four Goodyears.
  8. There's a movie coming out about a big rig truck. Have you seen the trailer?
  9. What has wheels and flies but it isn't an aircraft? A Garbage truck
  10. What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies? A garbage truck
  11. What has four wheels and flys? A garbage truck.
  12. I like my coffee like I like my women Cold and from a truck stop
  13. What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime
  14. I asked a produce seller from boston if they had a truck. They were like "No, I avocado"
  15. What do you use to transport pittas? A flatbread truck

Truck Driver Jokes

Here is a list of funny truck driver jokes and even better truck driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. There was no training, but I think I'll pick it up as i go along.
  • What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies? The trailers
  • What is a slow moving ice cream truck called? A sundae driver.
  • I passed a tow truck and the poor driver was crying his eyes out. I thought "He's headed for a breakdown"
  • A truck driver runs over a woman. Whose fault is it? The truck driver's, he was driving through her kitchen.
  • Car broke down in Alaska When the tow truck arrived the driver said It appears you blew a seal
    Guy said no, that's just mayonnaise, I ate a sandwich while waiting
  • Why do woman make terrible truck drivers? Because you give them one good load and it takes them nine months to deliver.
  • Popular joke in Ukraine "Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."
  • A Truck Carrying Red Paint Crashes Into a Truck Carrying Brown Paint on a Deserted Island. What Happens to the Drivers? They get marooned.
  • Why do truck drivers like wearing finger-less gloves... They like to see their girlfriend in shorts

Truck Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny truck stop jokes and even better truck stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck... ... And the ice cream man stops and says, "What can I get for you, Ma'am?"
    She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."
  • A woman is chasing down an ice cream truck…
    The ice cream man stops and says, What can I get for you, Ma'am?
    She says, Nothing, I just wanted to tell you I'm vegan.
  • How do you stop a food truck? The Lunch brake
  • How do you make a truck stop? Hit the brakes
  • Just the other day, I stopped at the gas station where I always stop after work. There were police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, etc everywhere.
  • Did you know there was a decision made at Ford to stop producing tow trucks? They finally realized a tow truck couldn't be expected to tow itself
  • Please stop putting flyers on my trucks windshield. I'm not interested in seeing a band called Parking Violation.
  • Where do Mexican truck drivers have to stop their trucks? at the guey station
  • I'm gonna stop borrowing my super charged truck to my Mexican friends because... Juan can handle it.
  • How many people does it take to stop a truck driven by Mozelim? No Idea
Truck joke, How many people does it take to stop a truck driven by Mozelim?

Big Truck Jokes

Here is a list of funny big truck jokes and even better big truck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I stood in line at a vietnamese food truck for an hour. When I finally got to the window, they were sold out and closing for the day.
    What a big Pho queue.
  • What's big, red, hard too eat and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A fire truck
  • I guess I'm semi retired now If I don't find work soon, I'll be living in a big truck.
  • I dreamed I was the muffler on a big truck.... I woke up exhausted.
  • a blonde calls 911 and says "help, help, my house is on fire" ...operater says "stay calm ma'am, we'll send the fire department. how do we get to your house?" Blonde: "duh...big red truck"
  • A blonde calls the fire department "My house is on fire, my house is on fire!!"
    Fire Chef: " Well how do we get there?"
    Blonde: " Duh... big red truck..."
  • What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive? A big toe-truck
  • What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe? Call a big toe truck.
  • You know what they say about small feet... Big truck
  • I was wondering how the truck was getting so big... Then it hit me.

Pickup Truck Jokes

Here is a list of funny pickup truck jokes and even better pickup truck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a row of trucks covered in mozzarella? A cheesy pickup line
  • What do you call a convoy of trucks hauling cheddar? A cheesy pickup line
  • What do you call a queue of trucks? A pickup line
  • A joke that is mildly racist How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo?
    Because they only had two pickup trucks
  • What do you call a guy that paints in the back of his truck? A pickup artist.
  • What is the only car that can actually get you girls? A pickup truck
  • How do trucks get spouses? Pickup lines.
  • What happens if you play a country western song backwards? Your pickup truck starts, your wife comes back home, and your dog comes back to life.
  • What do you call a truck that can't accelerate? A pickup with no pickup
  • An entire road is jammed with pickup trucks The worst pickup line i have ever seen.

Ford Truck Jokes

Here is a list of funny ford truck jokes and even better ford truck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So I went to buy a new truck... Too bad I can't a Ford one.
  • What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water? You can afford four fjord forders' fords.
  • I saw a truck for sale on DC Craigslist, it was old and ugly, made terrible noises and got laughed right out of Washington It was a Christine Blasey Ford
  • What starts with an 'F', ends with a 'uck', and all guys want one? A 'Ford Truck'
  • Anyone hear about the new Ford truck options?
  • How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand? Either way, you're likely to blow a t**...
  • Ford is coming out with a new truck for those who don't give a d**... about anything or anyone It's the new F-U50
Truck joke, Ford is coming out with a new truck for those who don't give a d**... about anything or anyone

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about truck can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of truck puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Truck Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about truck you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean railroad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make truck prank.

h**...


A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

I called a s**... hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Dumping garbage

The Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up truck into a ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.'"

A cop knocks on a man's front door late one night

and he asks to see a picture of the man's wife. "Sure," he says, a bit puzzled. The man produces a picture from his wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer takes one look and takes a long, deep breath.
With difficulty, he looks the man in the eyes and says, "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife's been hit by a truck."
The man replies, "I know, but she's got a great personality and she can really cook."

A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…

…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.

A Texan and a New Yorker are sitting in a bar.

The Texan, feeling boastful, says, "Back home in Texas, I can get in my truck at sunup and drive a straight shot until sundown without reaching the edge of my property."
The New Yorker nods sympathetically and replies, "Yeah. I had a car like that once."

The Skunk

One cold night, this couple was driving down the road, and the girl notices this black ball of fur on the side of the road. She makes him pull over, and she sees that it's a skunk that's about to freeze to death. She asks him, "Can we bring him with us in the truck to warm it up?"
He says, "I guess it's okay. Bring him in."
She goes, "Where can I warm him up?"
"Put him between your legs, that'll warm him up."
"Well, what about the smell?"
"You can hold it's nose, can't you?"

I witnessed a huge accident on the highway today involving a semi truck packed full of toupees that overturned.

police are still there combing the scene.

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway?

Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...

two men are driving down the country road when....

...one man sees a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. he pulls the truck over, gets out, walks up to the sheep and pulls down his pants and has s**... with the sheep. After he is done he walks back and tells his buddy "hey man its your turn". his buddy walks over to the sheep, gives a deep sigh, and sticks his head in the fence.

A trucker and a blonde.

A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

I see your thesaurus joke and raise you mine. Did you here about the truck full of thesauruses that crashed?

Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted, and taken aback.

Farmer tries to breed pigs

A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.
The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.
So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.
Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.
"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.
The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"

A lawyer was in his BMW...

...when he opened the door to get out, an oncoming truck hit the door, ripping it off, and went on. The lawyer calls the cops.
Lawyer (Whining) : Officer, look what happened to my beamer.
Officer : You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. You are so worried about your car that you did not notice that your arm is missing as well.
Lawyer (in shock) : Oh my God! Where's my Rolex?

So this wealthy lawyer parks his Rolls-Royce on a busy street

and as he opens his door, a truck come screaming by and tears off the car door. The guy jumps out and yells, "My car! My beautiful car!" and a man standing nearby says, "you pig, you're so worried about your expensive car that you didn't even notice that your arm's missing too!" Hearing that, the lawyer yells, "Oh God, my Rolex!"

Why don't trucking companies like to hire women?

Every time you give them a load, it takes them 9 months to deliver.

I called a s**... prevention line.

It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.

He opens it to find two policemen standing there. One policeman asks if he is married. He says, Yes, I am.
The policeman then says, I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck.
The guy replies, I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.

This just in!

A truckload of wigs has lost control and tipped over on the highway........Police are still combing the area.

A joke I heard some time ago

A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."

A boy was born without a body

A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.
So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the pub for his first pint. He takes a sip and BOOM - his body pops out. "Take another sip!" everyone shouts, then BOOM - his arms pop out. "Another!" everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.
The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he'**... by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.
"What a shame" his dad said.
"He should have quit while he was ahead"

A car broke down on a Native Reservation...

...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"
"Piston broke", he replied.
"So are we. Get in."

Obama calls for greater truck control laws.

Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.

A Trucker Hates Lawyers so Much That When he Sees Them he Always Runs Them Over

One day he sees a priest hitchhiking and decides to give a ride to the holy man. As they go along the road, the trucker spots a lawyer by the side of the road and steers to run him over. At the last minute he remembers the priest in the truck and swerves away hoping to avoid judgment of his sins.
He says "I'm sorry father, I don't know what came over me!"
The priest replies, "Don't worry, I got him with the door!"

A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, "What size farm do you have?"

The Englishman proudly announced, "Thirty-five acres!"
"Thirty-five acres?" the Texan scoffed. "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. I can eat lunch and start driving again and at 5:00 PM I am still on my farm.
"Ah, yes," the Englishman nodded in understanding. "I had a truck like that once."

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.'

He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'
So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?
The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday.

According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, 
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.

I called the s**... hotline in Iraq. I told the operator that lately I've been having suicidal thoughts.

Operator: "Great! Can you drive a truck?"

With self-driving cars

it won't be long before we have country songs where your truck leaves you too.

Three men meet a genie and are given a single wish.

The first man wishes to be invisible, p**...! he turns invisible but gets run over by a truck and drops down dead.
The second man wishes for 100 million dollars, p**...! he gets the money but is robbed and shot and drops down dead.
The third man sees this and figures out that the other men were selfish and that's what got them killed so he wishes for world peace, p**...! and 7.3 billion people drop down dead.

A high-end lawyer is leaving his car when he gets sideswiped by a passing truck.

He calls the cops and he start complaining to them about how the truck had ruin his beautiful Roles Royce. The cop looks at him and sneers, you lawyers, always so concerned about your money. You are so busy worrying about your car that you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing.
The lawyer looks at his missing arm in horror and screams, oh no, my Rolex!!

Now that vehicles are driving themselves...

It won't be long until a country singer writes a song about their truck leaving them too.

Two blondes are having a coffee at the local cafe.

They see a flower delivery truck pull up in front of the apartment building across the street and the delivery guy goes inside. The first blonde remarks "You know, whenever my boyfriend gets me flowers, he expects me to keep my legs spread for a week."
The second blonde replies "Don't you have a vase?"

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?

The man replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.
You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.
I did, the man replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach.

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big e**... and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.

One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."

A woman was walking along the street when she got plowed into by a vehicle and killed...

The police had a tough time identifying her, but they were able to get a picture from the DMV.
They walked up to her house and rang the doorbell.
"Sir, do you know this woman?"
"Yes it's my wife"
(Deep sigh) "Sir, I'm not really sure how to break this to you... but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
The man replied, "Yeah, I know... but she's a wonderful cook!"

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."

A guy is sitting home alone, when suddenly he hears a knock on the door.

He gets up to answer. There are two policemen outside. They ask him if he's married. He says yes and the policemen want to see the photo of the wife. He gets one and shows it to them.
The policemen exchange sad looks and one of them says:
"I'm very sorry, but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
"Yeah I guess, but she's got a great sense of humor and cooks a h**... of a brisket."

A man named Jeff was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him.

The officer looked in the back of Jeff's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?

Jeff replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.

You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.

The next day, the officer saw Jeff driving down the road once again. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.

I did, Jeff replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach."

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)

A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.

Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck...

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."

Bragging Doctors

Doc 1 bragged, "I had a patient once who blew out his ACL & MCL. I reconstructed his knee, and 2 years later he completed the Boston marathon."
Doc 2 replied, "That's nothing! I had a patient who was in a head-on collision with a truck. I reconstructed virtually all of his joints and more, and later he won an Olympic gold medal in the decathlon."
Doc 3 chucked condescendingly. "Child's play. I had a patient who was in a horrible e**.... He was blown to bits. All they found was a huge, gaping a**.... I put a suit and tie on it, and now he's the owner and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys!"

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, now you can follow me over to Target."

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.
As they are marveling about this, the waitress comes up to them. The biker gang says that the truck driver wasn't much of a fighter.
The waitress then looks out into the night and says, He doesn't look to be much of a driver either. He just ran over 3 motorcycles.

Two h**... were sipping shine on the front porch

When a truck went passed loaded up with rolls of sod.
I'm a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery announced h**... #1.
Do wuuuut? Asked h**... #2.
Send my lawn out to git mowed.

A funny story

A man had a bunch of penguins in his truck, when suddenly a police officer came and asked him what was in the truck, the man said "My penguins," The police said to take the penguins to the zoo.
The next day, the police officer came back asking where the penguins were. The man said, "They're in my truck. The police officer replied, "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo," "I did," replied the man, ''Today I'm taking them to the beach."

A truck carrying Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on the highway, but amazingly traffic was fine.

No congestion for hours!

A young soldier was making his first parachute jump.

The corporal explained the procedure "You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the c**... doesn't open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there'll be a truck waiting to pick you up."
The soldier checked his gear, called out the customary "Geronimo! " and jumped out of the plane. He counted to ten and pulled the ripcord. The c**... failed to open. He pulled the second ripcord and the c**... still didn't open. As he plummeted downward, he said, "I'll bet that g**... truck won't be there either."

When I was a boy, my dad gave me money to go downtown and pay the electric bill

But instead, I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a new truck.
I told my dad when I got home and he beat my a**....
The next morning, however, there was a brand new truck in the driveway.
We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from the electric company there to turn off the lights.
So dad beat my a**... again

Three men applied to put up telephone poles.

The foreman sent them each out with a truck and 20 poles, telling them to come back after 8 hours.
The first man returns and says "I put up 12 poles."
The second man returns and says "I put up 15 poles."
The third man returns and says "I put up 3 poles."
"Three?" asks the foreman. "These two guys put up nearly thirty between them and you only put up three?"
"Yeah," the third man says, "But you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground!"

I had a job offer in Newark, but I heard it's dangerous...

So I called a friend of a friend who lives there. He said, "It has a bad reputation, but if you use basic caution and common sense, it can be a fun, vibrant place to live."
I said, "Cool! By the way, what do you do there?"
He said, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."

When I was a boy my dad gave me money....

When I was a boy my dad gave my money to go downtown and pay the electric bill but instead I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a truck. I told my dad when I got home and he beat my a**... but the next morning in the driveway sat a new truck. We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from electric company there to turn the lights off.
....Dad beat my a**... again ....

Due to the rise of autonomous vehicles

It's only a matter of time until a country singer makes a song about his truck leaving them.

True story: Many years ago I worked a drive thru fast food place. A tow truck came through with a car hooked up in back. I asked him what I could get for him. The driver asked for a minute to decide.

After a minute I said, Sir, can you hurry up? You're *holding up* the car behind you.

Putin is held hostage by a t**....

A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks:
Driver: What's going on?
Policeman: A t**... is holding Putin hostage in a car. He's demanding 10 mill rubles, or he'll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we're asking drivers for donations.
Driver: Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.
Policeman: About a gallon.

An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...

when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."

Truck joke, An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...

jokes about truck

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these truck jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.