Trucker Jokes
49 trucker jokes and hilarious trucker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trucker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of trucker jokes. From hilarious one-liners to funny stories, we've got plenty of jokes to keep you entertained.
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Funniest Trucker Short Jokes
Short trucker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trucker humour may include short truck driver jokes also.
- Today should be a holiday honoring all the truckers who have kept America going during the Covid epidemic. A big 10-4, if you will.
- One trucker turned to another... ...And handed him a 10 dollar bill. The second trucker asked "What's the 10 for good buddy?"
- What do Canadian geese, and Canadian truckers have in common? They block the roads and honk
- A blonde joke Truckers should get Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill her trucker husband? She cut the lines to his truck's air brakes
- What does a woman trucker and a hockey team have in common? They both shower after 3 periods!
- HOW'S YOUR PETER BUILT? A little bit of trucker humor, only I'm not a trucker, so you figure it out.
- Massive loss of life after trucker loses load on highway. A few thousand potential children were thrown across the vehicle before being ejected through an open window.
- Why did the trucker stop f**...? He ran out of gas
- How does a trucker like to see a model? In the semi, n**...
- How do truckers like their centerfolds? Semi-n**...
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Trucker One Liners
Which trucker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trucker? I can suggest the ones about pickup truck and semi truck.
- Did you hear about the two gay truckers? They exchanged loads
- How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin? They use a Milwaukee-Talkie
- What's a truckers favorite kind of house? The ones with the long haul ways!
- What does a ghost trucker drive? Frightliner
- What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore? Semi-retired.
- What's the first thing a trucker does after getting laid? Cleans the mace from his eyes.
- Why is today a trucker's favorite day? Cuz it's 10-4 GOOD BUDDY!!!
- Where do the Mexican truckers hang out? The guay station.
- Did you guys hear about the gay truckers? They traded loads
- Why is October 4th a trucker's favorite day? Because it's a big 10-4 good buddy.
- Why did the trucker cross the river? Because his satnav said it was a road.
- A wagon driver and a trucker both broke expensive items It was the assphalt!
- A trucker walks into a bar ...drinks a glass of poison and dies immediately.
- How can you tell that truckers like nuts? They always have pecans!
(Read aloud) - A trucker cheated to win a poker tournament... It was a big rig.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Trucker Jokes
What funny jokes about trucker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean truck stop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trucker pranks.
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.
The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."
The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.
He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."
The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the h**... happened to you?!?" I gasped.
He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."
A trucker and a blonde.
A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.''Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''
A Trucker Hates Lawyers so Much That When he Sees Them he Always Runs Them Over
One day he sees a priest hitchhiking and decides to give a ride to the holy man. As they go along the road, the trucker spots a lawyer by the side of the road and steers to run him over. At the last minute he remembers the priest in the truck and swerves away hoping to avoid judgment of his sins.
He says "I'm sorry father, I don't know what came over me!"
The priest replies, "Don't worry, I got him with the door!"
Five Hundred Bucks
A trucker who has been on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!" The madam is astonished. "But, sir, for that kind of money, you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't h**..., I'm homesick."
The jumper ....
A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he says.
"I'm trying to commit s**...," she says.
s**... driver says with sly grin "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a b**...."
So, she does.
After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl....."
Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
A: the defendant
Source: I'm a trucker. (reformed)
For the young and/or foreign:
Defendant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendant
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.
A trucker calls his boss.
He says:
- I just ran a pig over, what now?
The boss asks him:
- Dead?
- Dead.
- Truck's OK?
- OK.
- So bury it and drive away.
Then the trucker disconnects, and later calls again. The boss asks him:
- You buried it?
- Yes, but I don't know what to do with his cop car.
A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it, he comes to low bridge and gets stuck under it...cars are backed up for miles behind him....
Eventually, a cop car pulls up, the officer gets out and walks up, laughing hysterically and pointing at the trucker.
He puts his hands on his hips and says with a chuckle, "Got stuck, eh?"
The trucker replies, "No sir, not at all, you see, I was delivering this bridge when I ran out of gas..."
Two truckers arrive at an underpass
It says "Clearance: 7 feet"
One trucker says to the other, "My truck's 7' 5"."
The other trucker says, " Mine's 7' 10" but I don't see any cops, let's go for it."
A trucker drives through some industrial estate,
He stops near a warehouse and ten minutes later a p**... approaches nearby.
"50 and I'll do anything, love."
The trucker stares at her up and down.
"deal, grab the forklift and start unloading the truck."
A Blond walks into a gas station...
and asks the employee: "I locked my keys in the car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
Ten minutes later a trucker comes in and can't stop laughing. So the employee asks him why he is laughing. The trucker says: "There is a Blond who tries to open her car with a coat hanger!" The employee: "So what? This could happen to anyone." Trucker: "Sure, but usually there isn't another Blond in the car who yells: a little more right / a little more left! "
Two truck driving brothers.
Two truck driving brothers are taking a driving test, and the instructor asks, "You're driving the truck and you're at the top of a mountain and your brakes go out. You notice an accident at the bottom of the mountain, what do you do?"
The trucker replies, "The first thing I do is wake up my brother."
"What good is that going to do?" the instructor asks.
The trucker replies, "In all of the years we've been driving he ain't never seen an accident like the one we're about to get in to."
A man is on the side of the road hitchhiking
Two truckers stop and pick him up.
They're driving along and the trucker driving farts. It's completely silent. Then the trucker sitting next to him farts, and it makes no sound at all. The hitchhiker farts, and it's loud enough to shake the whole cab.
Both the truckers turn and yell "v**...!"
s**... highway patrol man
So this semi trucker got his truck stuck underneath an overpass. A few minutes later a highway patrol officer came up to him and said Did you get your truck stuck?
Without missing a beat the truck driver said
Nope I was delivering this overpass and ran out of gas.
A trucker enters a roadside cafe in the middle of his long drive
The waitress brings him a soup. Meanwhile, three bikers enter the cafe. While passing the trucker, they each spit into his soup.
Silently, the trucker pays and leaves the cafe. One of the bikers then says to the waitress,
'What an idiot! Can't even stand for himself!'
The waitress agrees,
'You're right - he can't even drive! Only left the parking lot and already wrecked 3 motorcycles!'
A trucker walks into a brothel.
Welcome, sir, the lady in charge says. How can I assist you?
The man puts down a large w**... of cash in front of her, and says,
Get me the most slovenly and whiny girl that can't cook well either.
The woman eyes the money, and responds, But sir, you could have the best, most exotic girl and a gourmet dinner for that much.
I don't need an exotic experience, I need the one that feels like home! The man yells.
A trucker in Canada...
Is driving in a winter storm. When he stops at a red light, a blonde lady jumps out of the car behind him, runs up to his truck, knocks on his window and says, "you are losing some of your load!"
He shakes his head and ignores her.
The same thing happens again at the next two lights.
Finally at yet another red light, he gets out of his truck, walks back to her car, and tells her, "lady, stop telling me that I'm losing my load. I'm driving a salt truck!"
3 motorcycle bullies walk into a gas station.
3 men had arrived at a gas station using their motorcycles. Inside, was an elderly trucker, eating a pie by himself. The first man walked up to him and spit in his pie. The second man shoves his cigarette into his pie, and the third man knocks it onto the ground. Without a word, he leaves the gas station. The first man says, "He wasnt much of a man." A gas station employee then says," Not much of a driver either. He just ran over 3 motorcycles while backing out."
