Trophy Wife Jokes
43 trophy wife jokes and hilarious trophy wife puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trophy wife that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Trophy Wife Short Jokes
Short trophy wife jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trophy wife humour may include short trophy jokes also.
- I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day... She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!
- My grades are telling me to be a trophy wife but my looks are telling me to study harder.
- My Fiancé said she wanted to be a Trophy Wife Now that we're married all she does is lie around so much she can barely walk. And that's how I learned my wife doesn't know how to pronounce atrophy.
- Girlfriend: Would you dump me for someone more like a trophy wife? Me: Honey, I already have someone like that!
Girlfriend: Aww, you're too sweet!
Me: Yeah, you should meet her! - My wife said I'm lucky to be married to a trophy wife. I said to her, they giving out last place trophies?
- My trophy wife. 20 years ago, I married a trophy wife. Today, she looks like the Stanley Cup.
- My fencing trophy I recently placed 11th at a local fencing tournament. I got a participation award.
When I came home my wife asked me if I got a trophy
I said "Sword-of" - Wife: Would you leave me for a trophy wife? Husband: Honey, I already have a trophy wife!
Wife: Aww, thanks!
Husband: Yeah, you should meet her! - Hey, I guess I have a trophy wife too! Lately, I've been hearing how she's giving participation awards all around town.
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Trophy Wife One Liners
Which trophy wife one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trophy wife? I can suggest the ones about beautiful wife and jealous wife.
- My buddy has a trophy wife But from the looks of it she didn't get first place
- I refer to my wife as "My trophy wife" She calls me her "participation award"
- I got a Trophy Wife but it was for participation
- I have a trophy wife... Well she's more of a participation trophy.
- What do you call a rich man's white tank top? A trophy wife beater.
- I married what some might call a "trophy wife"... Unfortunately, she wasn't 1st place.
- I know a girl who could totally be a trophy wife. Just... not for first place.
- I chained up my trophy wife in the basement... She's atrophy wife now.
- What do you call an Asian trophy wife? An ornamental.
- What are the educational requirements to be a trophy wife? 2 D's and a F
- I married a trophy wife But I'm a millennial so all my friends have one, too
- Trophy Wife Any wife can be a trophy wife...
... if you take her to a taxidermist. - If she were a trophy wife,she'd be a Participation trophy
Heartwarming Trophy Wife Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about trophy wife you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prison wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trophy wife pranks.
The Trophy Wife
This guy is so sick of his hot trophy wife always asking for money.
So the next time she comes and asks him for some money he says "I'm not giving you any more money until you make some money for yourself."
So the next day he comes home from work and his wife says "I did it. I made money. I made $230.50!"
He says "Wow. How did you do that?"
She says "Easy: Prostitution."
So now he looks kind of perplexed he says "Who paid 50 cents?"
She says "Everybody!"
Trophy Girlfriend
Bill, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old blonde on his arm. She's hanging on his every word. His buddies at the club are aghast.
They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bill replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're stunned, but continue to inquire about Bill's companion. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?" Bill says, "I lied about my age." His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bill smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
An 60 guy introduced his friend to his new trophy wife
When they alone without the wife they asked him : "how did you got such a hot wife? "
He said: " i lied about my age"
"did you tell her that you are fifty?" asked one of his friends
"no i told her i am eighty" replied the man
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Straight to controversial, I know.
What did the millennial get on his wedding day?
A participation trophy wife.
Every time a test comes up, my friends and I joke about how we should become trophy wives.
But it seems like a lot of work to be a trophy wife; always dressing up, keeping in shape, keeping everything plucked. If I married a rich guy, I would probably wear sweatpants, watch Netflix everyday, and get fat on pizza and cookie dough. So instead of being a trophy wife, I'd be an atrophy wife.
Trophy Wife
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful looks and charm.
She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"
"I lied about my age", Bob replies.
"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
So a hunter
made a deal with his wife that if he catches a bear, she would field clean and prepare it. If he doesn't, she gets a day at the spa.
He walked out of their hunting lodge to his favorite spot and waited for a bear to pass by.
He sees a few creatures, but not the trophy he's looking for. An hour goes by...two hours... three hours, and then finally, there it is. The biggest bear he'd ever seen. Well, he slowly, quietly picks up his gun, aims, pulls the trigger, and "click" the gun jams.
"Uh oh" thinks the hunter, as he starts to get up to get out of there. But, the bear noticed and moved towards him. This caused the hunter to run, and the bear gave chase. He ran faster than he ever had before, all the way back to the hunting lodge. He thought he was in the clear, but he tripped going up the steps to the front door.
The bear jumps right over him and through the door into the house. The hunter shouts from outside " You clean this one, I'm gonna go get another one"
Patrick was drinking heavily on a Tuesday night at his local pub.
He raised his glass and proclaimed, in toast, "here's to spending the rest of me life, layin' in bed next to me wife."
The toast was met with raucous cheers and applause. Patrick was given the toast of the night award, given out on every Tuesday at the pub.
When he brought the trophy home to his wife Patty she asked him what he said to get the prestigious award. Treading carefully, he replied "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sittin' in church next to me wife."
The next day Patty was shopping in the market when she ran into Patrick's best friend, also named Patrick. "What a great toast Patrick had last night" Patrick said excitedly.
Patty agreed, albeit a little confused, "yeah but I don't know where it came from, we only do that twice a year and when we do I have to pull Patrick's ear to get him to come."
