Trooper Jokes
69 trooper jokes and hilarious trooper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trooper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article has it all: funny jokes about the Storm Trooper, Clone Trooper, Super Trooper, Sergeant, and Officer. Laugh out loud with these hilarious trooper jokes!
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Funniest Trooper Short Jokes
Short trooper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trooper humour may include short soldier jokes also.
- TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because... ...bugs.
- Why are storm troopers so clingy? Cause no matter where you're at they'll always miss you.
- A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?" - I saw a Battle Droid push a foul-mouthed clone trooper off a cliff.... ...he was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.
- What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper? The Storm Trooper would have missed harambe
- What do Storm Troopers and Bone Thugs N Harmony have in common? They are both going to miss every body.
- Why do photographers never dress as Storm troopers? Because they actually want to get a good shot.
- My wife told me she thought the clone troopers were kinda hot I told her she might have a Fettish.
- What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts? (Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die
- When a storm trooper wants to avoid conflict, he travels like electric current... Down the path of least resistance.
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Trooper One Liners
Which trooper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trooper? I can suggest the ones about troops and officer.
- A depressed Storm Trooper goes to the bar for some jager shots. He goes home sober.
- Quarantined Star Wars troopers be like "I miss people" First off all, you always miss.
- Why do Storm Troopers like churchs? Cuz of all the pews.
I hate myself - What did the clone troopers say after they killed Aayla Secura? Bye Felucia
- Sometimes I wish storm troopers were chasing me. Then someone would miss me
- So why can't Storm Troopers get a date? They keep missing all the signs...
- What do you call a zombie Storm Trooper? An Imperial Walker
- I should marry a storm trooper. They will always miss me.
- What's a storm trooper's favorite date? March 4th
- What's do you call a stormtrooper that smells good? A cologne trooper...
- Why did the Sand Trooper go to the library? He had a book dewback.
- What is the safest place in the galaxy? In the direct line of fire of a Storm Trooper.
- Why was the storm trooper such a good dad? He could never hit his kids.
- It's like the weather saw a state trooper It went from 90 to 45 real quick
- What rock band was popular among storm-troopers? Panic! AT-AT the disco
State Trooper Jokes
Here is a list of funny state trooper jokes and even better state trooper puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- State trooper pulls a car over... then shoots at the occupant
Storm Trooper Jokes
Here is a list of funny storm trooper jokes and even better storm trooper puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm planning to name my project team - Storm Troopers We always keep missing the target... (yea, original, yea,qualifies as a dad joke)
- Whats the similarity between a storm trooper and a baseball coach? Both can fire, neither can hit.
- A droid, a ressistance fighter and a storm trooper walk/role into a bar.
- A storm trooper has only one rule Whatever you do, don't hit the target
- Why did the Storm Troopers let the Jedi pass? Because they were 'Forced' to.
- what do u get when u cross a reptile with a storm trooper "a punch line"
- What's a storm trooper's favorite pollster? Pew! Pew! Pew!
Uproarious Trooper Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about trooper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean policeman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trooper pranks.
An 80-year old man buys a Corvette
He gets it out on the open highway and takes it to 80, then 100, then 120 before he knows it.
He looks in his mirror to see flashing red lights so he pulls over.
The highway patrolman walks up and say, "You know how fast you were going and I know how fast you were going. I've heard every excuse in the book but if you give me one I haven't heard, I'll let you go."
The 80-year old looks the trooper up and down and says, "My wife left me thirty year ago for a highway patrolman and Inwas afraid you were bringing her back!"
Trooper closes his book and sends the Corvette driver on his way!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jumper
On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!
The state trooper is driving down the highway when...
he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thing. Another two miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver to explain and the driver says "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I've got to keep some of them flying around."
Horrible Accident
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…
…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the highway...
After they pass mile marker 16, a state trooper pulls them over for speeding. The trooper goes up to the window and sees Heisenberg behind the wheel.
Trooper: "Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going when you passed that mile marker?"
Heisenberg: "Well I certainly don't know now that I know where I was."
The trooper arrests them and he decides to search the trunk of the vehicle. Inside he finds a dead cat.
He goes back to them sitting in the back of his cruiser and says "Did you know there is a dead cat in your trunk?"
Schrodinger: "Well *now* I do!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trooper in Iraq
A man recently deployed to Iraq is being shown around his new base. At the end of the tour the commanding officer shows the soldier a camel tied to a post. He says,"The men use this camel whenever they begin to feel lonely, feel free to do the same." The soldier responds,"Oh, I'm sure it will never get to that point, sir. I'm married" A couple of weeks pass and the soldier is really missing his wife and stressing about how much longer he has till he'll see his wife again. One night unable to sleep he caves in and has s**... with the camel. The next morning he runs into the commanding officer and says,"It happened, sir. I couldn't take the loneliness and had s**... with the camel." Commanding officer baffled,"You did WHAT!? The men use that camel to ride into town to buy prostitutes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer was working in his field...
when a carload of politicians rounded the corner at high speed, lost control, and flipped into a ditch.
A few hours later, a state trooper pulled up and asked, "Excuse me sir, but did you happen to see a car full of politicians come through here?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did, officer. They crashed over there," replied the farmer, gesturing towards a fresh mound of dirt.
"You BURIED them?" asked the officer in shock. "Were they dead?"
The farmer scratched his head. "Well, officer, they SAID they weren't, but... well, you know how those politicians lie"
Driving home very drunk
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.
"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.
"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
22 mph speed limit
Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"
The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before you go, ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken."
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 136."
The penguin joke (not the ice cream one)
So this guy is driving down the road with some penguins. Now some guys have penguins; this dude had some penguins! Dozens and dozens of the little dudes all piled up in guy's car cruising down the road. Well this state trooper sees him and pulls him over. Trooper walks up to the car, Mister, I'm going to give you a ticket if you don't take all these penguins straight to the zoo!
Guy in the car goes, Yes sir! and rides out. Well the next day the same state trooper is posted up in the same spot and sees the same guy drive by with the same penguins! All the same penguins, all piled up in dude's car: stacked up in the backseat, hanging out the trunk, everywhere! Today, though, they're all wearing sunglasses. So the trooper walks up to the driver, Mister, didn't I tell you yesterday to take all these penguins to the zoo?!!
Yes sir, I did. Today we're going to the beach!
Watch Out For That Tree
A state trooper pulls over a car on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Sir, is there a reason you're weaving all over the road?"
The driver replies, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rearview mirror, the officer says, "Sir, that's your air freshener."
A state trooper knocks on Mr. Smith's door...
"Mr. Smith," The officer goes on, "as you know, we have been searching for your missing wife for the last 10 days. We've put our best men and our most advanced resources into the search. The governor is going to call a press conference this evening to call off the search. I'm here to tell you that you should prepare for the worst."
So, Mr. Smith says, "alright, but you've gotta drive me to Goodwill to buy everything back!"
2 old ladies are in a car...
When a state trooper spots them on the highway. He notices that they are going very very slowly in the passing lane, and decides to pull them over because going too slowly can be just as dangerous as going to fast!
When he approaches the car, he notices that the old lady in the passenger's seat is visibly shaken.
The trooper asks "Ma'am, why are you going so slowly on the highway in the left-hand lane? This is the passing lane and your slow speed is endangering other drivers."
The old lady driving gives the trooper a look of bewilderment and says "but officer, the speed limit is very clearly 31 miles per hour, it says so on the sign just over there!"
"No ma'am, that is the highway number. The speed limit is actually 70 miles per hour. You should think about speeding it up to get your sick friend to the hospital!"
The shaken old lady replies "I am not sick, but we did just get off Highway 155"
The Old Man & The Trooper
A senior citizen drove his brand new Lexus convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road and onto the highway, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down the interstate pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Lexus, looked at the old man, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, it's Friday and my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused........ Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.
A state trooper lays in wait at a speed trap...
and spots a speeder.
He flashes his lights, pulls the car over, walks up to the driver and says, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The driver responds, "I got here as fast as I could."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think Chris Brown should be a storm trooper in the next Star Wars.
Maybe he can actually hit somebody.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident....
...An Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.
"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other, One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king c**... and 6 good-sized Dungeness c**... clinging to her."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said, "Tomorrow, we're going to pull her up again!"
The old Man and the State Trooper
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Trooper tries to pull over a man who speeds away.....
After getting the man to pull over, he tells him that since it's the end of his shift that he'll let him go if he has a good explanation for why he kept speeding up instead of pulling over.
The driver says: "Don't you recognize me? My wife ran away with you 2 years ago and I thought you were trying to give her back"
A man is driving down the highway when a State Trooper appears at his bumper and turns on his lights ...
The man starts to speed up a little and realizes the trooper is still following him. He changes lanes and the trooper is still following him. The man then proceeds to floor it as fast as his car could go.
After about a 30 minute chase, the man runs out of gas and the State Trooper approaches his window. The man, who is older and has his hands up, appears to be shaking.
The State Trooper says, Sir, why wouldn't you pull over?
The man says, well, about 15 years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper ... I ran because I thought you were bringing her back.
When interacting with police follow their instructions carefully
Me: [hears knock on door] "Who is it?"
Trooper: "State Police identify yourself."
Me: "Police identify yourself"
Trooper: "State Police"
Me: "Police"
A man was stopped by a trooper as he was seen handling a jar of bugs.
He was shot fleeing the scene.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Storm Trooper say when he f**... in church?
"Pew, pew."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.
License and registration the officer says.
No problem replies the motorist.
What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.
Just had a late night at work he replies.
Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.
Well...I'm an a**... stretcher he says.
An a**... stretcher?
Yeah, I take a**... and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet
What would anyone do with a six foot a**...?! The office exclaims.
Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young woman was pulled over for speeding
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
The State Trooper walked to her car window and opened his ticket book.
The woman said, "I bet you're going to try to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers' Ball."
The trooper told her, "Ma'am, State Troopers don't have b**...."
There was a moment of silence... The trooper tipped his hat, and returned to his car.
I got pulled over by a state trooper the other day.
Trooper: Your license states that you're required to wear corrective lenses. Where are your glasses?
Me: It's ok. I've got contacts.
Trooper: Listen pal, I don't care who you know!
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV
# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"
The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him.
