Tripping And Falling Jokes
65 tripping and falling jokes and hilarious tripping and falling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tripping and falling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tripping And Falling Short Jokes
Short tripping and falling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tripping and falling humour may include short tripping jokes also.
- Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall. At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.
- A giraffe walks into a bar... The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, "what's that lyin over there." And someone replies, "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
- A man proudly sporting an I Love Trump pin passes a liberal man on the sidewalk. As he does so, he trips and falls. Oh my god! Exclaims the liberal, Are you alt-right?
- Two photographers are walking down a street. One of them trips and fall onto the ground.
The second one immediately falls down next to him and says: Excellent angle! What are we shooting? - Models Why did the models keep tripping on the runway?
They were showing off the fall lineup. Badumtss - What goes bump in the night? A baby falling down a staircase.
What goes bump in the day?
The mother tripping on the stair landing. - Every time I try to make a mental note, I end up tripping and falling along a neural pathway.
- Two hydrogen atoms are walking down a street... One of them trips and falls. His friend says, " are you okay? "
" I dunno. I think I lost my electron! "
"Are you sure? "
"I'm positive!" - A drummer trips and falls on a sheep, a candy brand, and then a running faucet *Baa Dum tss*
- What do you call a talk show host who tripped on a rock and broke his wiener? Fall-on, Jimmy.
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Tripping And Falling One Liners
Which tripping and falling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tripping and falling? I can suggest the ones about tripped fell and slip and fall.
- I didn't fall for my boyfriend His third leg just tripped me
- Why did the drug addict fall over? He tripped.
- Who discovered Victoria Falls? Whoever tripped her.
- Sweetheart, I didn't just fall for you. I fell because of you.
Stop tripping me. - What did the horse say when he tripped? Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy-up.
- What happens when Niagara trips? Niagara Falls
- a bad comedian trips and falls and he shouts "help, I've fallen and can't do stand up!"
- Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer? To make it Fall.
- Chemist who falls in acid.. ..will be tripping for weeks.
- Why did Night fall? Because Day tripped him.
- Why did the Societ Union fall? It tripped over democracy
- Yall here about that tripping scam... Dont fall for it.
- I saw a woman trip and fall today Poor sidewalk...
- A horse t**... into a bar, trips, and falls
Tripping And Falling Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tripping and falling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tripped jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tripping and falling pranks.
Two Cops were waiting outside of a bar at closing time......
.....waiting to pop drunk drivers.
A man comes out of the bar, and he is obviously in rough shape. He is weaving all over the place, and almost falls when he trips on a curb. He fumbles with his car keys for almost two minutes, dropping them several times before he finally unlocks his car. He gets in, starts the car, and drives off.
Needless to say, the cops follow him: for several miles. The man's driving was flawless, perfect and in accordance with all traffic laws.
Finally, they decide to pull him over anyway. They turn on their lights. He pulls over instantly. They ask him to step out of the car; he calmly complies. They check his license; it is valid, and clean. They give him several field sobriety tests, each harder than the last. He passes all with flying colors.
The two cops look at each other, then the man, and ask "Sir, you aren't drunk, are you?"
"No, I'm not," says the man.
"Then why were you acting drunk when you left the bar?"
"I'm tonight's DD."
"Designated Driver?"
"No, I'm the Designated Decoy. All of my drunk friends drove off the other way."
So a blind man walks into a bar...
So a blind man walks into a bar in Texas. He feels his way up to the counter and pulls himself into the chair and exclaims, "WOW! these barstools are huge!". The bartender then replies, "yep, everything is bigger in Texas."
The blind man then orders a beer, so the bartender brings him over a mug of some ice cold beer. The blind mind exclaims, "WOW! this mug is huge!". The bartender then replies, "yep, everything is bigger in Texas."
After a few drinks the blind man asks to use the toilet. The bartender tells him its to his right and its the second door on the left. So the blind man feels his his way over to the first door, but he trips and stumbles past the second door. He then opens the next door he comes to and ends up falling into the bartender's personal pool screaming, 'DON'T FLUSH! DON'T FLUSH!"
so there are these three guys going on a skiing trip
and one day they are skiing when a massive blizzard arrives from the middle of nowhere. so they dig a snow cave because it's either that or death. they huddle up together for warmth during the night and fall asleep. in the morning the one on the right says 'i had a dream that someone touched my p**...!' the one on the left looks surprised and says 'i also had a dream that someone touched my p**...!'
the one in the middle says 'i had a dream that i was skiing'
Philosophy 112, or the joke that I just told in a dream and have to write down for posterity
Take this guy, Bob. He's coming into his early 40s, and goes into a midlife crisis. He tells his wife he wants to go back to school and study all the stuff he never got to when he was working so hard as a kid. She's fully supportive, feeling there are worse things he could be doing in this phase of his life, and they get him enrolled at a local university.
Bob starts taking random b**... classes. His first semester he takes Archaeology 101, Sociology 102, and his favorite, Philosophy 112: History of early modern philosophy. He starts learning about all the great thinkers who laid the groundwork for all of our thinking today, and he just falls in love with it. Doesn't care he's surrounded by 18 year olds for six hours a week, he just dives right in.
One day, his buddy Jim calls him up to talk. Jim's also going through a midlife crisis. He's doing a much more destructive path, however. He calls Bob up and tells him he knows of an excellent e**... service. He says they should take a "business trip," have a little fun, the wife doesn't need to know.
Bob thinks about it, and says, "No, I've got a huge philosophy paper due in a couple days and I should work on that."
Jim looks at him like he's insane, calls him a p**..., and storms away. But Bob is confident.
Bob knows that sometimes, it's good to put Descartes before the w**....
Indian bar game
A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian.
So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.
"Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," said Sven.
"Ok," the Norwegian said, "my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"
"Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?"
The Norwegian burst out, "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota!"
Little Johnny asks his mother her age...
Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?" To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room. On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out. Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in s**...!"
A man phones home from his business trip...
His 9yo son answers and says hey.
"Hey buddy, it's dad! Wheres youre mom?"
"I will check", replies the son as he walks to his parents' bedroom and sees his mom in bed with uncle Jim. "She is playing in bed with uncle Jim"
"What?! Uncle Jim?! Tell them I will be right over!" the man fumes.
"Mom, dad says he'll be right over", says the kid. His mom starts panicking and shouting, uncle Jim jumps quickly from the window and falls in the empty pool and cracks his head. The mom rolls in sheets, exits the room and falls down the stairs and cracks her head.
The kid looks around and starts crying.
"What happened son?"
"Mom fell down the stairs abd uncle Jim jumped into the empty pool and died" he squeals.
"The pool?" Asks the man. "Is this the Goldberg house??"
A blonde , brunette, and a readhead.
Are going on a road trip when they accidentally trespass into a secret military base and the punishment is viable by shooting. So they bring the readhead and make her stand against the wall . The captain exclaims .
"Ready ! Aim "
the read head than turns around and says.
" Tsunami!" and all the soldiers fall for it and the readhead escapes.
Next is the brunette. Same deal she lines up and the captain than says. " Ready ! aim ! ". The brunette than turns around and says .
" Tornado!" all the soldiers fell for it and she escapes.
Last is the blonde. "Ready ! Aim !" just when the captain is about to finish the blonde yells .
" Fire !"
The Bell Ringer
A church's bell ringer passed away. So they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it.
They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the job.
The next day he went to ring the bell, tripped, bounced off the bell and fell to the sidewalk below. Two guys were walking past.
One asked, "Do you know this guy?"
The second guy responded, "No, but his face rings a bell."
The next day, the dead bell ringer's twin brother comes in for the again vacant bell ringer position. He also has no arms. They lead him up to the bell tower, he runs at the bell, trips and falls to the sidewalk below.
The same two guys walk by.
The first asks, "Do you know him?"
The second guy responds, "No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy we saw yesterday."
So there's this lemon...
And he's running down the street.
He trips and falls on the sidewalk, leaving him with a n**... gash on his arm.
Luckily, another lemon walks by and patches him up with a Lemonaid kit.
(It's really bad, but the joke inspired my username. Just had to share.)
Rabbi and A King
A rabbi and a king are traveling the countryside together, talking to people in the area and generally getting to know them better. Before crossing a bridge to the other part of the country, night falls, and they decide to stay at a nearby hotel. They wake up the next morning and head to the bridge a short time later.
Before crossing, a man walks up to them and asks if they are planning to cross the bridge. They reply yes, and the man warns them that a troll lives under the bridge, and kills people by tripping them, resulting in people falling off the bridge and dying. The king and rabbi thank the man and continue on.
They reach the bridge and look across. They do not see any sign of a troll and begin to cross. Halfway across, they see a flash before their eyes, and the king suddenly yells as the troll has begun to trip him.
The rabbi yells, "Wait spare him, trip me instead!" The troll looks back at him, and smiles saying "Silly rabbi, trips are for kings!"
A kid is leaving his house to school
His mom tells him "May God be with you". When the kid is walking down the stairs he trips and falls.
He turns back and says, 'You can come with me, but you don't have to push'
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip
They set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies: "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
A monkey was smoking w**...
sitting on a tree. A lizard spots and asks what he's upto. The monkey says he's smoking the **best w**... in the world**. The lizard climbs up excitedly and shares the joint with the monkey. After a while the lizard starts feeling thirsty, so the monkey pointed him to the river. The lizard climbs down the tree and goes to the river to get a drink.
Because lizard was high he trips and falls in the river. An alligator spots him and helps him to the shore, and asks what is wrong with him. The lizard, right before passing out, tells the alligator about the monkey and the **best w**... in the world**. The alligator decides to check this stuff out and goes where the monkey was. He spots the monkey and shouts, "HEY! MONKEY!"
The monkey's eyes go wide as he spots the alligator, and then he says...."WHAAAAT THE FUCCCKKKK BROOOO! HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK??!!"
I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled '**...''!
The room took three hours to clean.
If you tripped a n**... replica of yourself
Would you be charged with making an obscene clone fall?
Two men go out hunting…
Two men go out hunting and everything is going fine until one of them trips, falls on a rock, and becomes unresponsive. Thinking the man is dead, the other man calls 911 and the operator tells him to make sure the man is dead. The operator hears a gunshot and the man says "Ok, what now?"
Going through customs at a US airport
Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare today?
Me: *starts sweating* ummmmm no. *trips and falls. Hundred of Kinder eggs spill from my pockets, jacket and bag*
Customs agent: GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!
Me: But, I am -
*armed guards swarm around and pin me down*
Armed guards: WHAT'S IN THE EGGS!!!
Me: I don't know, it's a surprise!!
(Sorry if the formatting s**.... On mobile)
Trump, Putin, and Kim Jong Un are walking through the jungle
They all trip and fall into a pit of quicksand. A sign next to the pit reads, "the more you lie, the faster you sink." Kim Jong Un is up to his neck, and Putin is at his waist. Trump appears to be perfectly calm and not sinking at all. Putin asks how this is possible. Trump replies, "I'll be alright. I'm standing on Sean Spicer."
50 blondes and a brunette went on a hiking trip
They tripped and began to fall. They managed to hold onto a rope. The rope could only hold 50 people, so they decided one of them needed to let go. The brunette decides to let go. She gave a heartbreaking speech.... All 50 blondes began clapping, needless to say, the rope could now hold 49 others
A man from Texas hears a rumor that everything is bigger in New York, so he decides to take a trip there and dispute the claim.
At the hotel he tells the bellhop about the rumor and his quest to disprove it, since everything is bigger in Texas .
So the bellhop offers to show him around.
First they stop at the Empire State Building. The bellhop asks, Do you have buildings this big in Texas?
The Texan replies, Sure do!
Then they visit the Statue of Libery. Got any statues this big?
The Texan replies, Sure do!
Finally, they visit Niagara Falls. Got anything this big? the bellhop asks.
Nope. the Texan replies, But I have a plumber who can fix that leak for you.
A man is on trial for m**....
The judge asks him to give his version of the story, and how he pleads.
The defendant replies: "Innocent, your honor. I am not sure what exactly happened myself, I was sitting on a park bench, enjoying the nice weather, peeling an apple with my pocket knife, when suddenly this guy trips on the apple peel and falls right on top of my knife."
The judge inquires: " And all this happened 16 times?"
Little Johnny & Mom's age
Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.
Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that" and then sends him to his room.
On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.
The boy looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'F' in s**...!!!"
Don't Open The Door
The doorbell rings at Pete's place. When he opens the door, there's a large beetle standing in front of him.
The beetle pushes Peter so hard he falls and hits his head, requiring a trip to the hospital.
When Peter explains what happened to the Doctor, she says, "Ah, I'm not surprised, you're the fifth case we've had today"
"Really?" Peter says.
"Yes," the Doctor says, "There's a really n**... bug going around..."
A blind person tripped on his way into a restaurant and crashed onto the floor.
The waiter rushed up and asked if he was ok. The blind man said "Fall...awlful..." And the waiter said "sorry we don't have that on the menu but there's a Mediterranean place next door."
Red Cross nurse
A guy walks into a bar and trips and falls sustaining a horrible injury. "Hold still," the bartender exclaims. "We have a Red Cross nurse right here that can help you!" "Just my luck," mutters the guy, "Why couldn't I have a blonde cheerful nurse instead?"
At a Diplomats' dinner, a waiter tripped
and shattered the beautiful plate in which he was carrying a large turkey.
Hushed silence turned into a roar of laughter, when
the quick-witted Diplomat announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen!
You have just witnessed 4 major international events happening :-
Fall of Turkey
Breakup of China
Spillage of Greece
and Frustration of Hungary!"