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Trimming Jokes

30 trimming jokes and hilarious trimming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trimming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make the most of your gardening time with some of the funniest tree trimming jokes. No matter your experience in pruning bushes, these jokes are sure to make your hedges and trees look less bushy and more cheerful. Read on for some of the best tree trimming jokes around!

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Funniest Trimming Short Jokes

Short trimming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trimming humour may include short cutting jokes also.

  1. I love a girl with a trimmed bush.... Only because its makes it easier to see her through the window at night.
  2. My gf told me if I trimmed my bush it would make my deck bigger She's been spending a lot of time with the landscaper so I'm guessing she learned it from him
  3. Did you know Neil deGrasse Tyson has a son who owns a lawn trimming company? His name is Moe deGrasse Tyson
  4. What do you call a bleak future society in which people are forced by the state to trim hedges into decorative shapes? A dystopiary!
  5. I don't think I'll attend Christmas dinner this year. My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she said she's going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
  6. The Soviet Union could have worked just fine, but the regime was dominated and swerved by political extremes Next time we should seize the trimmed means of production.
  7. Your dad works as a barber during the week and a DJ at the weekends... Goes by the name 'Fatboy Trim'.
  8. At Pirate boot camp BOATSWAIN: "That concludes orientation. Any questions?"
    ME: (raises rubber hook hand) "Why do they call it trimming the mainsail? Why not mast abating?"
  9. Jesus goes to a barbershop. Would you like us to trim your beard? they ask Jesus says No, I wouldn't want to make your floor a tripping hazard.
  10. I'm sure my allotment is conspiring against me. Each time that I trim it it grows back twice as harsh.. The plot thickens.

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Trimming One Liners

Which trimming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trimming? I can suggest the ones about stripping and trim your bush.

  1. Trimming garden hedges... ...is shearious business.
  2. Where does a tree go to get a trim? The (b)arbor shop.
  3. Where does a book go to get a trim? Paper Clips.
  4. A man like me is hard to find. I trim maze hedges.
  5. Why do Lakers fans trim their nails with scissors? Because they hate Clippers.
  6. I like my women how like I like my neighbors... With a neatly trimmed yard.
  7. Where does a rabbit go for a trim? To the hare dresser.
  8. Why do you trim your Christmas tree before you put it up? To make sure it's presentable.
  9. I was trimming my shrubs and I almost lost a finger It was sheer luck that I didn't
  10. What did the giant robot ask for at the easily confused barbers? A specific trim
  11. TIFU by accidentally trimming by neighbor's bushes. Whoops, wrong shrub.
  12. The 41st US president hired a barber for his family His job was to trim the bushes
  13. Manscaping is like gardening... Trimming the bush makes the tree look taller
  14. I like my women like my steak... ...seasoned.
    ...trimmed.
    ...mooing.
  15. I like my women like a like my w**... Well trimmed and ready for the pipe

Trimming Your Bush Jokes

Here is a list of funny trimming your bush jokes and even better trimming your bush puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Is your dad a gardner? Him: Is your dad a gardner?
    Her: (sarcastically) - Why, because you've never seen a flower like me?
    Him: No, I wondered if you trim your bush.
  • The tree said to the bush You should get trimmed like me, it will make you look larger down there
  • When is it time to trim your bush? When your cat finds you n**... and tries to hunt it.
Trimming joke, When is it time to trim your bush?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about trimming can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of trimming puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Trimming Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about trimming you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean chopping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make trimming prank.

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Make me one with everything .

The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks Where's my change? and the vendor replies change must come from within .
A gun then extends from the Buddhist's chest and he asks again.
The vendor says Whoa, man, where did that come from?
The Buddhist replies This is my inner piece .

Businessman

Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich.
The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.
The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.

My p**... hair trimming business will limit itself to female customers for the first few months.

I'm new to this, so I don't want to go nuts right away.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.

Why Santa got involved with Christmas

Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.

A man and a woman go out to dinner...

This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"

Superstition

I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!

Trimming joke, Superstition

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these trimming jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.