Trillion Jokes
22 trillion jokes and hilarious trillion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trillion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Trillion Short Jokes
Short trillion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trillion humour may include short billion jokes also.
- If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban - If I had a nickel for every time I was called hot, I would be the U.S.A 28.7 trillion dollars in debt
- Who's your favorite artist? UN: "Who's your favorite artist?"
Israel: "Netta!"
UK: "Dua Lipa!"
Zimbabwe: "Fifty trillion Zimbabwean Dollars!"
UN: "What?"
Zimbabwe: "I'm sorry! 50 Cent, for you!" - What did one snowflake say to another snowflake during the winter solstice party? "You're one in a trillion!"
- Borrow a million dollars, and the bank owns you. Borrow a 100 billion dollars and you own the bank.
Borrow $69 trillion dollars and you are the United States of America. - 10 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of soldiers dead, state of the art technology, but the US finally found Bin Laden. In his house.
- FM radio is the future! Just think about it, a trillion songs to listen to. Nevermind, it's only playing the same 20 songs everyday.
- Trump may be 2 trillion short on his budget... It's not his fault, though. It's just a Conservative estimate.
- I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.
- "Mega-" is a prefix meaning "million".... ...and "micro" is a prefix meaning "millionth".
So, a megaphone would be one trillion microphones.
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Trillion One Liners
Which trillion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trillion? I can suggest the ones about one billion and billions dollars.
- A penny saved... ... is 350 Trillion Zimbabwe dollars earned!
- Why is one thousand million billion trillion so bad? It's very naughty
- How do you compliment a Venezuelan girl? Tell her she looks like a trillion bucks.
- My friend told me he could say a trillion hyperboles... He was exaggerating.
- My wife said something that meant a lot to me. "500 trillion."
- The world is $5 trillion in debt. Just exactly which planet do we owe it to?
- Wanna hear something g**... about USA? $18.124 trillion
Trillion Dollar Jokes
Here is a list of funny trillion dollar jokes and even better trillion dollar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- America is basically a free country... you'd just have to inherit 19 trillion dollars in debt
Amusing & Witty Trillion Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about trillion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean triple jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trillion pranks.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that
If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".
scared of flying
A friend of mine who was scared of flying and asked me one day: "What is the probability that
there will be a bomb on an airplane?" I responded that I really didn't know, but that it was certainly less than one in a million. So he asked: "Well, what is the probability that there are two bombs on an airplane?" I responded that (as long as these were independent events) it would be the square of the probability of having one bomb, which is 1 in a trillion
- a truly astronomical number. So, from that day forward he always carried a bomb with
him when he flew
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A genie appears infront of a man...
And tells him that he can have 3 wishes, but his ex wife will get double anything he asks for.
The man thinks and says "I wish for a trillion dollars"
"It is done. Now your ex also has 2 trillion dollars."
"I wish for the biggest mansion in the world with everything that comes with it, servants, helicopters, the works"
"It is done. Your ex now also has 2 mansions."
The man nods his head and then says "I wish I was beaten half to death"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...
There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.
God asks a guy, would you set in motion a chain of events that will lead to the whole visible universe being destroyed in 1 million years, for 1 trillion dollars? Guy says yes thats alot of money and I've got to live for today.
God pulls out a mountain of cash and swims in it and says, then you'll understand what I did 999,999 years ago.
Thailand was having troubles trading with China.
China refused to accept Thailand's official currency, (the Baht) but the Thais noticed that China had no problem trading in South Korean Won.
So they made a plan to buy 3.2 trillion Won from Korea and use it as an official currency for international trade exchanges.
Unfortunately, it turns out that China will not recognize Thai Won.
A man goes to a psychiatrist over his fear of flying...
He says Doc I'm scared. With everything happening in the world I'm shaking and breaking out in hives just thinking about there being a bomb on my plane! What can I do doc?
Doc: here's what you do, go out and get a bomb and take it on board with you, the chances of Two bombs being on the plane are one in a trillion!
