Trick Jokes

What are some Trick jokes?

I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat

And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

A married couple of 20 years are lying in bed

The man rolled over and said to his wife, "Hey, honey, I have a hard on that I just can't get rid of. Think you wanna help?"

The wife turned around and stripped naked.

The husband then rolled back over, closed his eyes, and said, "thanks, honey, that did the trick!"

A man was on a plane...

A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

*

After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery.

Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen.

What are you doing working so late?

Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. They misspelled my name!

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?

Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady...

Literally. He can't catch.

Husband says to wife: Babe, do I please you in bed?

Wife: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth.
Husband: What trick?
Wife: The one where you stfu and go to sleep.

What do you name a tricky pig?

Cunningham

Two magicians walk into a bakery

The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."

Have you seen the new iPhone card trick?

It's the one where all the jacks dissappear

A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question. Protesters never change anything.

I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.

After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.

What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

I tried tricking an Inuit guy last night...

...but he was having Nunavut

A Spanish magician was showing a trick..

"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."

And he vanished without a tres!

How many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question: asexuals don't screw anything.

A Mexican performs a magic trick.

He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!

A Halloween joke for you.

Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."

Yesterday my wife taught the car a new trick.

She taught it to roll over.

It's normal for married couples to fight.

The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.

How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.

A Spanish magician is at a party

He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

Why's the leader of Russia always late?

Is trick question. If Comerad Stalin appears late, it is only because we were early. All glory to mother Russia.

Guy walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer from the bartender

As he is sipping his beverage, he looks down and sees a gorilla sitting at the other end.

He asks the bartender, *"What's with the gorilla?"*

The bartender says, *"Oh, that's Mable. She does a trick. Want to see it?"*

*"Sure"*

So the bartender whistles and Mable comes lumbering down the length of the bar.

The bartender pulls out a heavy steel pipe and hits the gorilla in the side of its head. The gorilla drops to its knees and starts giving the bartender a blow job.

*"Wow!"*, says the guy.

The bartender says, *"Pretty amazing, huh? You want to try?"*

The guys says, *"Yeah, sure! Just don't hit me so hard."*

For my next trick

I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

3 men are lined up for the firing squad...

...and they will be shot in public. The first guy, not willing to die, thought of a great way to trick the squad. Just as the guns were raised to shoot him, the guy pointed behind the squad and shouted, "Avalanche!" The firing squad was tricked, and as they looked behind them, the guy ran away. The second guy decided to try the same trick himself. So as the guns were raised again, he pointed behind the squad, shouting, "Flood!" Again, the squad fell for it, and as they looked behind them, the second guy ran away. The third guy was utterly impressed by what the first two guys did to save themselves, so he decided to try out the trick himself. As the guns were raised once more to shoot him, the third guy shouted out, **"Fire!"**

A black man walks into a bar...

And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"Vodka!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.

5 year old cousin with this one: Who lives in the green house?

Me: I don't know

Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house?

Me: The red guy

Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house?

Me: The blue guy

Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house?

Me: The yellow guy

Her: Who lives in the white house?

[Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out:]

The black guy!!

If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...

A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.

The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."

The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.

The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"

The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."

I was just on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

Is that a trick question?

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but the trick is finding two people small enough to fit IN the lightbulb...

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.

"Uno, dos..." *poof* he disappeared without a tres.

Why can't you trick a miscarriage?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

My Go To when all else fails. Has never flopped.

A farmer and his wife have been married many years. The farmer has a talent for farting very loudly. Everytime he does so his wife says "one of these days your gonna fart your guts out." This goes on for years until after one Thanksgiving diner the wife decides to play a trick on her husband. She takes the insides she had cleaned out of the turkey, prior to cooking it, and sneaks upstairs while he is asleep from the big meal. She puts them inside his underwear knowing he's gonna fart right after he wakes up and goes back downstairs to be with the family. After a while the family hears a scream from the bedroom and rushes to see what's going on. The farmer says to the family "well it finally happened; I farted my guts out." The wife trying not to laugh asks "well what did you do?" The farmer puts his fingers together and says "by the grace of God and with these two fingers... I shoved them back up in there."

Memory trick

Two very elderly couples bump into each other in the street, Jack says " hi there George, how are you?" George says " Great! we've just been to that new memory clinic, they teach you how to remember things using word association, it's really good" Jack asks " really? what's the name of the clinic?" George thinks for a moment and then says " let me see, eh, what do you call that flower with a thorny stem?"
Jack says "A rose"?
"Ah yes that's it" George turns to his wife...."Rose, what's the name of that clinic"?

I lost 164 pounds in the last 6 months with this one simple trick!

All I did was buy bitcoin

I lost 100 pounds with this one weird trick!

Exercise

When I was a teenager, I'd lock myself in my bedroom for hours every night...

One night, my dad kicked the door open to find out what I was doing. He walked in to discover me sitting on my hand.

"Ah, that old trick," he laughed. I gave an awkward smile back.

"I have to say, son," he continued, "I'm relieved to be honest. I thought you might've been doing something weird. I'll leave you to it."

When he closed the door behind him, I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on fisting myself

The Magician and the Parrot

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.

He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!''

The magician chased the bird away.

The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''

The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.

The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.

They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what'd you do with the ship?''

Little Johnny : I like the way you think

An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?" One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer.

Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one --the one that the farmer shot."

The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."

"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly sucks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then sucks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?"

After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and sucks out the inside."

Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong --it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."

Oldie, but a goodie.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That is a trick question, feminists can't change anything.

A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer...

I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick...

The Cure for the Common Cold

It's called "The Whiskey and a Hat Trick"

All you need is a bottle of whiskey and a hat.

First, sit on your bed. Place the hat at the foot of the bed. Proceed to drink whiskey until you see two hats, then go to sleep.

If you do this your cold will be gone in just 7 days.

If you don't, it'll last a whole week.

A wife gives her husband a cheating test.

A man's wife wanted to know how her husband would react if she was to just up and leave one day so she came up with a way to trick her husband into thinking she had left. She wrote a note saying how she was tired of living with him and doesn't want to put up with him anymore. She left the note on the kitchen counter and hid under the bed and waited for her husband to come home.

Her husband soon came home, saw the note and wrote something on it. Immediately he started dancing and singing while changing into another pair of clothes. He than proceeds to dial someone and says: Hey babe the idiot finally had enough of me, I was so stupid to marry her wish I found you first, I'll be over in 10 minutes! He than rushes out the door and drives off in his car.

The wife comes out from under the bed, tears in her eyes goes to read what her husband had wrote on the note, it said; " I can see your feet sticking out from under the bed idiot, I have gone to buy some beer."

[OC]A man walks into a hardware store

Man: Hello, I'm doing some work on my house exterior and need to get to the siding and onto the roof.

Employee: Well, we have a wide range of ladders that will do the trick. There's a 3-step ladder that will be perfect for the siding, and an extending ladder that will get you up on the roof. Do you want them both?

Man: I'll take the former now and the latter ladder later.

A trick with a tie

Son: Dad! I learned an awesome new trick at school in science class. Can I borrow your tie?

Dad: Let's see it.

Son: if we fold your tie in half, and roll the fat end toward the middle, and the thin end toward the middle, we have two rolls - one big and one small, both the same length, right?

Well, if I hold up the tie from the middle, and let go of both sides at the same time, which side will unroll first?

Dad: I have no idea.

Son (drops both ends, which open at the same time):

It's a tie, dad.

Three guys are at a firing squad...

...and they will be shot in public. The first guy, not willing to die, thought of a great way to trick the squad. Just as the guns were raised to shoot him, the guy pointed behind the squad and shouted, "Avalanche!" The firing squad was tricked, and as they looked behind them, the guy ran away. The second guy decided to try the same trick himself. So as the guns were raised again, he pointed behind the squad, shouting, "Flood!" Again, the squad fell for it, and as they looked behind them, the second guy ran away. The third guy was utterly impressed by what the first two guys did to save themselves, so he decided to try out the trick himself. As the guns were raised once more to shoot him, the third guy shouted out, "Fire!"

A Jew and Arab walk into a bakery...

The Arab immediately steals 3 pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing." The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"

The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's back pocket....."

What idiot decided to call it randomized clinical trial with placebo

And not trick or treatment

There was a famous Mexican magician.

His name was Gustavo. His signature trick is he would say "Uno, dos," and *poof*! He would disappear without a tres.

I see your lightbulb joke...

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Two, but the trick is getting them inside the lightbulb.

Doggie Style

Two buddies were drinking while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" Asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly..."
"I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.

Do you know the easy trick to avoid clickbait?

I guess not.

My wife taught the car a new trick

Who knew they could roll over...

A really bad, terrible mistake

Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. " Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. " Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it? " Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but OK. " He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up. "Well, Doc, how'd it go? " Fred asks. "It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my... " "CIRCUMCISED! " yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!! "

U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices.

Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick.

A boy went up to his father and said, "Your secret is out now dad. It's no use hiding it."

His father's face went pale. He gave the boy $100 and told him to keep quiet about it.

Happy that the trick worked, he then went to his mother and said, "Your secret is out now mom. It's no use hiding it." Just like his dad, his mom was shocked too. She gave the boy $200 and told him to keep quiet about it.

Excited, the boy thought who should he try the trick on next when he saw the postman outside his house. He approached the postman and said, "Your secret is out now mister. It's no use hiding it." The postman, completely shocked, hugged the boy and said, "I am glad you finally know it son."

How many flat earthers does it take to screw in a light bulb

Trick question it's a light disk

How to make Trick jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Trick to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Trick? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Trick pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes