Entertaining Trick Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
It's normal for married couples to fight.
The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
That is a trick question, feminists can't change anything.
A Halloween joke for you.
Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."
Why can't you trick a miscarriage?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question. Protesters never change anything.
A man was on a plane...
A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"
*
I see your lightbulb joke...
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but the trick is getting them inside the lightbulb.
When I was a teenager, I'd lock myself in my bedroom for hours every night...
One night, my dad kicked the door open to find out what I was doing. He walked in to discover me sitting on my hand.
"Ah, that old trick," he laughed. I gave an awkward smile back.
"I have to say, son," he continued, "I'm relieved to be honest. I thought you might've been doing something weird. I'll leave you to it."
When he closed the door behind him, I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on f**... myself
A married couple of 20 years are lying in bed
The man rolled over and said to his wife, "Hey, honey, I have a hard on that I just can't get rid of. Think you wanna help?"
The wife turned around and stripped n**....
The husband then rolled back over, closed his eyes, and said, "thanks, honey, that did the trick!"
U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices.
Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick.
How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.
You can explore trick maneuver reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean trick finale dad jokes. There are also trick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
A man brought some cookies to a party...
His friend approached him later during the party. He asked for the recipe to show his wife.
"You see, the secret trick is that I put the dough in my belly button to measure out the perfect size of each cookie," he tells his friend.
"That's absolutely disgusting," says the friend.
He answers, "Oh, you're not going to like the way I make donuts then."
5 year old cousin with this one: Who lives in the green house?
Me: I don't know
Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house?
Me: The red guy
Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house?
Me: The blue guy
Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house?
Me: The yellow guy
Her: Who lives in the white house?
[Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out:]
The black guy!!
How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?
Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.
I lost 100 pounds with this one weird trick!
Exercise
If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."
What do you name a tricky pig?
Cunningham
A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick
The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!
How many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Trick question: asexuals don't screw anything.
A black man walks into a bar...
And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"v**...!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.
3 men are lined up for the firing squad...
...and they will be shot in public. The first guy, not willing to die, thought of a great way to trick the squad. Just as the guns were raised to shoot him, the guy pointed behind the squad and shouted, "Avalanche!" The firing squad was tricked, and as they looked behind them, the guy ran away. The second guy decided to try the same trick himself. So as the guns were raised again, he pointed behind the squad, shouting, "Flood!" Again, the squad fell for it, and as they looked behind them, the second guy ran away. The third guy was utterly impressed by what the first two guys did to save themselves, so he decided to try out the trick himself. As the guns were raised once more to shoot him, the third guy shouted out, **"Fire!"**
I tried tricking an Inuit guy last night...
...but he was having Nunavut
How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?
One. It's a trick question.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," p**....
He disappeared without a tres.
A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer...
I find that l**... her n**... and a light gentle f**... usually does the trick...
A Mexican performs a magic trick.
He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *p**...* … he disappeared without a tres!
How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.
How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but the trick is finding two people small enough to fit IN the lightbulb...
Have you seen the new iPhone card trick?
It's the one where all the jacks dissappear
After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.
I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen.
What are you doing working so late?
Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. They misspelled my name!
The Cure for the Common Cold
It's called "The Whiskey and a Hat Trick"
All you need is a bottle of whiskey and a hat.
First, sit on your bed. Place the hat at the foot of the bed. Proceed to drink whiskey until you see two hats, then go to sleep.
If you do this your cold will be gone in just 7 days.
If you don't, it'll last a whole week.
For my next trick
I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
Guy walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer from the bartender
As he is sipping his beverage, he looks down and sees a gorilla sitting at the other end.
He asks the bartender, *"What's with the gorilla?"*
The bartender says, *"Oh, that's Mable. She does a trick. Want to see it?"*
*"Sure"*
So the bartender whistles and Mable comes lumbering down the length of the bar.
The bartender pulls out a heavy steel pipe and hits the gorilla in the side of its head. The gorilla drops to its knees and starts giving the bartender a b**....
*"Wow!"*, says the guy.
The bartender says, *"Pretty amazing, huh? You want to try?"*
The guys says, *"Yeah, sure! Just don't hit me so hard."*
A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.
"Uno, dos..." *p**...* he disappeared without a tres.
d**...
Two buddies were drinking while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it d**...?" Asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, k**..., huh?"
"Well, not exactly..."
"I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."
Do you know the easy trick to avoid clickbait?
I guess not.
When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady...
Literally. He can't catch.
Yesterday my wife taught the car a new trick.
She taught it to roll over.
Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)
An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."
[OC]A man walks into a hardware store
Man: Hello, I'm doing some work on my house exterior and need to get to the siding and onto the roof.
Employee: Well, we have a wide range of ladders that will do the trick. There's a 3-step ladder that will be perfect for the siding, and an extending ladder that will get you up on the roof. Do you want them both?
Man: I'll take the former now and the latter ladder later.
Why's the leader of Russia always late?
Is trick question. If Comerad Stalin appears late, it is only because we were early. All glory to mother Russia.
I lost 164 pounds in the last 6 months with this one simple trick!
All I did was buy bitcoin
I was just on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.
Is that a trick question?
I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo c**... con.
A Spanish magician was showing a trick..
"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."
And he vanished without a tres!
Husband says to wife: Babe, do I please you in bed?
Wife: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth.
Husband: What trick?
Wife: The one where you s**... and go to sleep.
My wife taught the car a new trick
Who knew they could roll over...
What idiot decided to call it randomized clinical trial with placebo
And not trick or treatment
There was a famous Mexican magician.
His name was Gustavo. His signature trick is he would say "Uno, dos," and *p**...*! He would disappear without a tres.
I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat
And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"
Whats you father's occupation?
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."
After trick-or-treating on Halloween, a teen takes a shortcut through a cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man chipping away at a headstone. "I thought you were a ghost," says the relieved teen. "What are you doing working so late?" "Oh, those idiots," grumbles the old man. "They misspelled my name!"
I made this up today! What do you call a guy who's been left at the old persons home three times in a week?
j**... hat trick.
(Geriatric)
My new party trick...
I s**... two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my a**... tied together.
I s**... you knot.
I think the men who shorten their name to 'Pat'.....
.....are missing a trick.
Trickle down economics
I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.
A few years ago, I saw a Hispanic magician
My favorite trick was at end, when he said he would dissappear at the count of three.
And he started counting "Uno...."
"Dos.... "
And p**..., he was gone. Without a Tres.
Little Johnny, the magician's son
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the schoolteacher.
"He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher.
"He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny.
"Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."
A Mexican guy showed me his magic trick.
He said "Uno!"
He said "Dos!"
And then p**... he disappeared without a tres!
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...
There would be mass confusion.
" I lost 75 OVERNIGHT because of this ONE SIMPLE TRICK! ."
I was just on a diabetes information website...
It asked if I would accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
he was talking about money
It was seven days into their honeymoon and the young bride
staggered downstairs to breakfast looking knackered.
My goodness, said the waitress. You don't look so good,
but aren't you the bride with the older husband?
Yes I am, he's 75, but I've discovered he's pulled a dreadful
trick on me. When he told me he had saved up for 50 years,
I thought he was talking about money.
Did you hear David Copperfield has stopped doing the old trapdoor disappearing trick?
It was just a stage he was going through.
This Halloween, I stopped the pranksters before they covered my house with eggs again.
We met up for negotiations and signed a trick or treaty.
Trick or Treat!
A small boy dressed as a pirate knocked on my door last night.
I opened the door and he waved his sword & said "Trick or Treat"
I said " Oh look a pirate, but where are your buccaneers ? "
He took the chocolate bar & replied " Under my buckin hat "
My 9-year old told this one today. What does Snoop Dogg say after performing a magic trick?
Ta da da da da
A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien
For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.
This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.
Why did the trick or treater lose his ghost costume?
Someone scared the sheet out of him
The greatest magic trick
A world famous Hispanic magician walked on stage to thunderous applause from a large crowd. He announced to the audience that he would disappear before their very eyes before the count of three. He begins the count Uno, Dos.. POOF! He disappeared without a Tres.
