Trial Jokes
144 trial jokes and hilarious trial puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trial that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring a smile to your next clinical trial, mock trial, or test with these hilarious trial jokes! From court bailiffs to Salem witch trial experiments, explore a wide range of puns, one-liners, and more. Whether you're a trial lawyer or a fan of courtroom comedy, these jokes are sure to have you laughing out loud.
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Funniest Trial Short Jokes
Short trial jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trial humour may include short experiment jokes also.
- A man is on trial for cannibalism A man is on trial for cannibalism.
He says to the judge,
"Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man." - Why are white gangs the scariest in prisons? Because they had a fair trial and still ended up there.
- A verdict has been reached in the Jussie Smollett trial. I hope he doesn't beat himself up over this, again.
- A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. judge asks, "First offender?" She replied: "No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."
- my friend was arrested for stealing luggage from airport, his trial didn't last more than an hour It was a brief case
- The creator of WinRAR was arrested and put on trial The trial was supposed to last 40 days, but it keeps on going
- The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers. At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.
- I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021 I've experienced the 7 day trial and I'm not interested
- I watched two guys rob an Apple Store today. The police caught them. I'm going to be an iWitness at the trial
- I have proof Jesus was a black man... He loved Gospel, he called everyone 'Brother', and he couldn't get a fair trial.
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Trial One Liners
Which trial one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trial? I can suggest the ones about testing and jury.
- The creator of winrar is arrested His trial is expected to last forever
- the cannibal said in his trial - If I am what I eat..." "Then I'm an innocent man"
- I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day. The court trial starts tomorrow.
- I said hi to a feminist the other day My trial starts next week.
- The guy who took Pelosi's podium faces trial next week But he won't be taking the stand
- I said "Hi" to a feminist yesterday. The trial is next Friday...
- I said hello to a feminist today, My trial starts next Monday.
- You were really beautiful until Your 30 day trial of Photoshop ended.
- I held a door open for a feminist.. ..the trial is on the 14th of May.
- Today I asked a feminist for her number My trial is in two days...
- I held the door open for a feminist last month. The trial date is December 12th.
- I met an alien who couldn't stop swearing... He was an Extra Tourettes-trial.
- The Kardashian Family motto: Getting black men off since the OJ trial.
- What does the judge say when someone farts during trial… Odour in the court!!!
- So I was talking to a feminist the other day... The trial is next week
Trial Lawyer Jokes
Here is a list of funny trial lawyer jokes and even better trial lawyer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man goes to drown his sorrows after losing a trial. He exclaims, "All lawyers are scumbags!" The man next to him says, "I take issue with that."
"Why, are you a lawyer?"
"No, I'm a scumbag." - Adam Johnson, the man seen carrying House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's lecture during the siege has been arrested. His lawyer said that at the trial he won't be taking the stand.
- The attorney filed a motion for a new trial. The judge barked angrily "On what grounds!?" "Your honor," the lawyer explained, "my client has discovered some money that I didn't know he had."
- A lawyer walks into a courtroom without a shirt Lawyer: "Can we please postpone this trial?"
Judge: "Of course, how can we start the trial when you've forgotten your lawsuit!" - My lawyer friend loves board games... ...but he has been sad lately, ever since he started that Risk-free 30-day trial.
- A ballerina on trial went before the judge The judge asked if she was willing to take plea deal A or plea deal B.
After much deliberation with her lawyer
She said she'd like to plié - What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odour in court. - I'm taking a course in self defense. I can't afford a trial lawyer.
- Amber Heard's lawyer sure is having a hard time in this trial… He really s**... the bed with this one.
- Did you hear about the lawyer who was arrested for m**... in court? He was charged with public indecency but when it went to trial he got off on a technicality.
Trial Jury Jokes
Here is a list of funny trial jury jokes and even better trial jury puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Pornhub was sued a few months ago by xhamster The trial was long and hard, but ended with a hung jury
- I just got to know that my wife cheated on me with all the jury members of my trial Can't blame her though, it was a hung jury
- I just got called for jury duty and the judge is a midget. I'm assuming it will be a short trial.
- When I was on a jury, the judge didn't appreciate me bringing a snack for everyone I thought my trial mix was pretty good too
- How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial? Have it decided by a jury of his piers
- Why are furries always found guilty at trial? A furry curries only fury from a jury.
- Why do Harlem trials never result in a conviction? Because they always end up with a hung jury.
- Did you hear about the heart warming emotional testimony the m**... gave at his trial? Even the jury was touched.
- A r**... is standing trial in front of a jury of English majors.... Judge says: "How do you plead?"
The man replies: "I didn't do nothin'!"
Jury walks out. Case closed.

Fair Trial Jokes
Here is a list of funny fair trial jokes and even better fair trial puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People say the #MeToo movement is starting to resemble a witch hunt, but I don't think that's fair... For one thing, in a real witch hunt, the accused gets a trial first.
- Why did the dolphin get a fair trial? Because Habeas Porpoise.
Clinical Trial Jokes
Here is a list of funny clinical trial jokes and even better clinical trial puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What idiot decided to call it randomized clinical trial with placebo And not trick or treatment
- I heard Stevie Wonder took part in a clinical trial.... He was the double blind
- What is a clinical trial done in October called? a trick or treatment.
- What do you call a clinical trial when it's doubtful that it will work? A cynical trial.
Salem Witch Trial Jokes
Here is a list of funny salem witch trial jokes and even better salem witch trial puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a group of people called to testify at the Salem witch trials? Witchnesses.

Cheerful Fun Trial Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about trial you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean contest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trial pranks.
Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for m**... charges.
If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days.
I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?
Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.
Great news that anti-virus mogul turned fugitive John McAfee has finally been captured.
They estimate the trial could last 30 days.
Where do Grammar n**... get put on trial?
You're*-emburg
^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry...
**
The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless...
I was like, 0mg!
Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
A: the defendant
Source: I'm a trucker. (reformed)
For the young and/or foreign:
Defendant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendant
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.
Judgement day
Peter is on trial. He's on trial because he shot his wife when he caught her in bed with another guy.
The judge wants to know; "why did you shoot your wife?".
"Well, " Peter replies, "it seemed easier to shoot her once, than to shoot a different guy every week".
Why are they rioting in Ferguson?
Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.
Custody trial
Momma bear and papa bear are in court finalizing their divorce and custody of junior bear. The judge asks junior bear who he wants to live with?
J: "do you want to live with momma bear? "
JB: "no, she beats me."
J: "do you want to stay with papa bear?"
JB: "no, he beats me too."
J: "then who will you live with?"
JB: "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody!"
The inventor if the anti-virus software has been charged with m**....
They expect the trial to last 30 days
I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said:
"You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com."
I went to a mock trial recently and I was really disappointed. I didn't get to mock anyone.
At my trial the judge asked me how i justified using force to get women to sleep with me...
Apparently "Because I'm a Jedi" wasn't a good enough excuse
Did you hear about the guy who was on trial for m**... to obscure court cases?
He got off on a technicality.
Not guilty
p**... went to trial for armed robbery.
After a long drawn out trial, the jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted p**.... "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
A jury finds a man not-guilty in court...
During trial much evidence had been produced that showed the defendant to be guilty.
Upon the jury's decision the prosecutor incredulously asked the judge: "Your honor, on what basis could the jury possibly have acquitted the defendant?!"
The judge replied: "Temporary insanity".
To which the prosecutor exclaimed: "All 12 of them?"
Ode to Hillary
Ode to Hillary
There was a crooked woman, and she wore a crooked smile
She found a crooked dollar and she dodged a crooked trial
She bought a crooked server, and wed a crooked spouse
And they all lived together in a little crooked house
Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial?
They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.
A woman on trial
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks the prosecutor:
"First offender?"
The prosecutor responds:
"No, a Gibson first, then a Fender"
Brainless Lawyers
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."
Only three things are infinite
The universe, human stupidity, and the winrar trial period.
A judge is reprimanding the defendant in a trial: I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again!
Your Honor, the defendant says, that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen.
A pianist is currently on trial.
He was accused of f**... A Minor.
Three guys were found trespassing in the city lake
They were put on trial and the judge called them in one by one
Judge: What were you doing in the lake after 9 pm?
Man 1: Your honor, I was blowing bubbles.
Man 1 exits, Man 2 comes in
Judge: What were you doing in the lake after 9 pm?
Man 2: Your honor, I was blowing bubbles.
Man 2 exits, Man 3 comes in
Judge: Dont tell me you were blowing bubbles too.
Man 3: No sir my name is Bubbles
A Man named McMurphy is accused of robbing a bank...
On the last day of his trial, the foreman of the jury stands up.
"Have you reached a verdict?" asked the judge.
"We have your honor..." replied the foreman. "Not guilty!"
"Excellent!" shouted McMurphy "Does that mean i get to keep the money?"
Why did the s**... offender represent himself at his trial?
Because he thought he could get himself off.
No mixing utensils are allowed near the courthouse as the month-long case against the violent baker continues.
It's a whisk-free 30 day trial.
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.
The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
Where were you on the night of October to April?
A cannibal is on trial for m**... and cannibalism...
He's called up to the witness stand and the prosecutor asks him if he pleads guilty or innocent.
"Innocent!" he says.
The prosecutor asks him to prove it.
The cannibal answers, "Well, you are what you eat, right? So I am an innocent man!"
My wife put on a s**... cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.
After a short trial, I was found not guilty.
Only three things are infinite...
The universe, human stupidity and and the Winrar trial period.
Actually I am not very sure about the first two.
Future Headline: Trump refuses to rise to take the oath at his trial.
He heard you can't arrest a sitting president.
Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued?
He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.
I don't get anti-vaxxers.
If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
A man is on trial for m**....
The judge asks him to give his version of the story, and how he pleads.
The defendant replies: "Innocent, your honor. I am not sure what exactly happened myself, I was sitting on a park bench, enjoying the nice weather, peeling an apple with my pocket knife, when suddenly this guy trips on the apple peel and falls right on top of my knife."
The judge inquires: " And all this happened 16 times?"
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel......
When they get there, one girl suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid s**... by the fireside, a girl turned to her new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best s**... I've had in years! I wonder how the guys are doing?"
Wife is on trial for killing her husband...
She's accused of killing her husband with his guitar collection.
Judge: First offender?
Wife: No, first a Gibson, then a Fender.
The world's most sarcastic man stands trial.
"How do you plead?" asks the judge.
"Well," says the man. "Usually on my knees with my hands together."
A Man was on trial for cannibalism
Judge:How do you plead
Man:your honor if the phrase you are what you eat applies then I am an innocent man
Mario got taken to court
He turned out to be guilty, here is the last words of the trial.
Judge: I order to pay a $10,000 fine
Mario: why
Judge: it's a fine
Mario: [sadly] no itsa not
A man gets arrested for selling alcohol without a permit. He gets a lawyer who tells to not to worry, he's got a fool-proof defense. The day of the trial arrives, and the lawyer address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, take a good long look at my client...
...do you think, if he had even a drop of alcohol in his possession, that he would sell it?
A lumberjack was being cross-examined during a m**... trial.
The defense lawyer, trying to discredit the lumberjack as a witness, asked him:
"Is it true you were working at night? How can you be sure that it was a pine tree that fell on the victim?"
The lumberjack replied confidently: "I know what I saw."
I'm on Trial for m**...
The prosecutor says to me while I'm on the stand, "Did you kill that man?"
I said, "No."
He said, "Do you know what the penalty for perjury is?"
I said, "Yeah it's a lot less than the penalty for m**...."
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.
Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
With that the man turned to his accuser and said "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson".
The other day I was playing 2 truths and a lie.
Well, technically I was testifying in a m**... trial.
What happens after you turn 18?
***Your free trial of life ends***
So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for...
So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for Covid-19. It's been kept very, very quiet for security reasons. I received my first shot and wanted to let you know that it's completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.
Duchess
It's my cake day, so here's a joke for everybody. My dad told me this joke, but I haven't seen it any other places:
A man goes on trial for calling the Duchess a pig. The judge finds him guilty of slander and explains that if he ever calls the Duchess a pig again he'll be severely punished. The man then says to the judge, If I can't call the Duchess a pig, would I still get punished for calling a pig Duchess?
The judge publicly rules that he can indeed call a pig Duchess.
On his way out of the courtroom, the man walks by the royal plaintiff, tips his hat, and says Good day, Duchess.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. "First offender," the judge asked.
"No" she replied "First a Gibson, then a Fender."
A judge is hearing a m**... trial.
Imp and her spirite-elf that was killed and the suspect, a 16 year old who's represented by his father, Ep.
After hearing the case, the judge decides.
Ep's teen didn't kill Imp's elf.
Adam Johnson, the man pictured carrying House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's lectern during the Capitol riot, has been arrested in Florida
His lawyer has confirmed that at trial he will not be taking the stand.
Initially I was proud of my participation in a trial for cloning humans...
...but now, I don't think I can live with myself.
What would Giuliani bring to a trial by combat?
Depends
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks, "First offender?"
The woman replies, "No judge, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"
During the trial, he was accused of being a cannibal, but he knew he was an innocent man.
After all, you are what you eat.
Rich man arrested for m**...
A rich man is arrested for m**... finds an Attorney that says
" Rich people don't to jail, You have too much money to go to jail, I'll represent you"
It was long drawn out trial, and when his client was convicted, the lawyer made sure he didn't have any money left.
Defense!
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere!

