Trex Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex

He's a small arms dealer.

I have a T-Rex who sells me guns.

He's a small arms dealer.

Why can't a T-Rex clap it's hands?

Because they are extinct.

How did the T-Rex feel after working out?

Dino-sore

Why can't a T-Rex clap it's hands?

Because it's dead

What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?

A Dinosnore!

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

Why was the T-Rex angry?

Because he was happy and he knew it...

What is the job of a T-Rex?

A small arms dealer.

What's a flower plus a t-Rex?

A squished flower!

(An original from my 5 year old)

Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.

A genie appears and grants them one wish each.

The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.

Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower of meat all over the place."
Again the genie clicks his finger and it begins showering small chunks of meat which the second T-Rex begins snatching up.


The third T-Rex, not satisfied, roars
"Make the same as the last one, but make it a MEATIER SHOWER!"

I get my guns from a guy named T-Rex...

He's a small arms dealer

Why don't T-rex go to war?

Because they're short on arms.

What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...

A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.

There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind of thing.

The T-Rex liked her anyway though so they started going together.

Even though his parents complained that it was awkward at Christmas dinner and all his friends laughed about how she had him eating salads, he still asked her to marry him.

He was happier because he'd never met a dinosaur like herbivore.

[Clean]So the T-Rex cashier says "Sorry for the wait! . . "

" . . We're a little short-handed."

Why did T-rex have to register with police?

He was a small arms dealer.

I'm very sorry, I'll show myself out.

What do you call a T-Rex after the gym?

Kinda-saur

Why did the T-Rex family business fail?

They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!

What do you call a T-Rex that waits tables

A DINERsaur.

Suck it, dad.

What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A dino-snore

Why can't a trex clap?

It's dead

What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and a 6 year old pretending to be a T-Rex?

The 6 year old never killed anyone with a car

Museum Security

There was a man who was an aspiring archaeologist and he was curious about dinosaurs and fossils. He went to a museum and saw a giant fossil skeleton of a T-Rex, but he didn't know the age, however. He asked the security guard nearby Hey do you know how old that dinosaur fossil is? The security guard replied 65 million and 3 years old! The man was intrigued by the age of the fossil but confused . How do you know it's exactly 65 million and 3 years old?, that seems very specific for carbon dating to me! The security guard replied Well, it was 65 million years old when I first started working here, 3 years ago.

I played cards with a guy in one of those T-Rex suits...

He was a small arms dealer.

How does a T-Rex like its meat?

Rawwwwwww!

Where did the T-Rex buy his dinner?

At the Dino-Store!

A T-Rex and a Dude walk into a bar....

Dude says "Hey T-Rex, ya got the first round?"
T-Rex says "Sorry dude, I'm short handed"

Why did the T-Rex go extinct?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

Why couldn't the T-Rex tie his shoes?

Because he's extinct.

How did the T-Rex feel after his workout session?

He felt dinosore.

Just bought some guns from a guy who called himself T-Rex

He said he was a small arms dealer.

If you ever get really mad.

All you have to do is think about a T-Rex trying to pick up a basketball.

An archaeologist, paleontologist and hair stylist walk into a bar...

A man walks up to them and asks if they could help him identify the authenticity of a pile of fossilized T-Rex dung.

 

The archaeologist, after thoroughly examining the dung, says,

"I've been looking for a specimen like this for years, this is definitely the real thing!"

 

The paleontologist, after a brief inspection, says,
"I've seen a few of these before and this one looks like a genuine one."

 

The hair stylist, after one look, immediately declares that it's a fake.

 

The man asks "how do you know?"

 

The hair stylist replies,

"I've been working with shampoo for 30 years."

If there is one thing that I admire from a T.Rex

It is that they'll never stay arms-crossed.

How did the T-Rex feel the day after working out?

Dino-sore

I think one of my friends is a T-Rex

Because whenever it's time for him to pay for drinks he can never quite reach his wallet.

What do you call a gay T-Rex?

A Dino-sore-ass.

Why didn't the casino hire the T-rex?

They didn't want to hire a small arms dealer.

Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?

Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.

What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day?

Dino-sore

Why did the T-Rex stay away from the triceratops?

Because the triceratops was a registered rex offender.

For 65million years the T-rex was the number one predator

Then came Bill Cosby

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

Why couldn't the T-rex do any push-ups?

Because they're extinct you dumbass

Two T-Rexes are having a conversation...

One T-Rex tells the other "I ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who said she knew me... But I never met herbivore!"

(Someone please end my suffering)

A T-Rex and a Dude walk into a bar....

Dude says "hey T-Rex , can ya pick up the first round?" T-Rex says "sorry dude, I'm short handed."

What type of job does T-Rex have?

He is small arms dealer

What do you call a T-Rex who has sex for money?

A Dinowhore

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms)

Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

Why didn't the little T-Rex go to the gym?

He was a little dinosore

Why'd the T-Rex go to the masseuse?

He was dino-sore

Why do T-Rexs love America?

Because of the small arms.

Why was the T-Rex angry?

His arms were too short to sarcastically slow clap this terrible joke...

What's it called when a T-Rex hurts itself?

A dino-sore

How does a T-Rex take notes?

Shorthand.

What's it called when a T-Rex passes gas?

A jarrasic fart!

What did the the T-Rex say to the Stegosaurus after they slept together?

Is your Vaginasaur?

What do you call a fascist t-Rex?

A tyrannical ruler

T-Rex Stenographers

are good at typing in shorthand

What do you call a T-Rex with Herpes?

A Vaginasore

What do you call a cynical t-rex?

Dino-genes

Why did the T-Rex walk funny?

He had a saur-as

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

"Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

Where did the pregnant T-Rex go for a check-up?

The dinocologist

Dino Joke

You guys hear about the Gay dinosaur that was discovered recently? Theyre Calling it a Tyrann-o-sore-ass.

Its very similar to it's cousin the T-Rex, only it likes more than one kind of meat

Why Did T Rex Have Such Tiny Arms?

Because T-Rex did not masturbateο»Ώ

What do you get when you cross Mike Myers and a T-Rex?

Jurassic Wayne's World!

What are the funniest trex jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Trex? Well, here are the best Trex puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Trex pick up lines to share with friends.

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