Trespassing Jokes
55 trespassing jokes and hilarious trespassing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trespassing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Trespassing Short Jokes
Short trespassing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trespassing humour may include short breaking and entering jokes also.
- What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign? "It's ok because there is only two of us."
- When Santa enters a house to give stuff to kids he's a hero and a amazingly kind man When I do it I get arrested for trespassing and being a child predator
- A dolphin trespassed and took over my pool... I guess I could drain it, but that would defeat the porpoise.
- [Nerd joke] What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies? They both violate the rules of the premises.
- A group of railway trespassers got hit and killed... They won't trespass again now that they've been trained.
- Why wasn't the number 3 allowed back into school after failing his Spanish test? Because there's No Trespassing!!
I'll show myself out - Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works. They charged one, and let the other off.
- A mushroom forager sank to new lows for his hunt. He stole a car for transportation and trespassed on private property to hunt on. Nevertheless his hunt was unsuccessful. He had no morels.
- I walked into a shop. "I need a fence to stop people trespassing my land." He said, "Wire fence?"
I said, "I just told you the reason." - The Egyptian police arrived to arrest a tourist for trespassing. The police said, "Sir, you're in the Nile river. Come out now."
The man shouted, "I'm not in the Nile, you are!"
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Trespassing One Liners
Which trespassing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trespassing? I can suggest the ones about violation and burglary.
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- Why didn't the number 3 cross the road? He saw a sign that said no trespassing.
- What do you call a trespassing camper? Criminal intent
- What is the number 3s favorite crime? Trespassing
- How does a pregnant woman in Texas get a legal abortion? Trespass.
- If a sign says "No Trespassing" bring only one person along. Then it's dospassing.
- What did the Mexican quarterback get arrested for? Tres-passing
- What do you call three cars overtaking you in Mexico? Tres-passers.
- Why Dalmatians have been caught trespassing? Because they are spotted.
- "You're under arrest for trespassing." "On what grounds?"
-FromJokester4Android - Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
- No prosecuting Trespassers will be violated
- What do you call a Spaniard that is a violator? a TRESpasser
im sorry - Why did only 2 Mexicans cross the border? The sign said "No Trespassing"
(TRES-Passing) - Why did the two Hispanics get arrested on my lawn? The signs said no Tres-passing.
Howlingly Hilarious Trespassing Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about trespassing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shoplifting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trespassing pranks.
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:
"I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:
"I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
Three rubber ducks..
Three rubber ducks head down to the nearby pond after dinner. The sun sets and it becomes passed their curfew. Feeling rebellious, the three ducks decide to stay out. An hour passes and a police offer shows up. He charges the three ducks with trespassing; their court hearing is scheduled in two weeks.
At the hearing the judge questions the first duck,
"What were you doing so late at the pond?"
"I was just blowing bubbles," responds the first duck.
The judge thinks to himself it's a sarcastic response but disregards it. He moves on to the second duck, repeating the question.
The second duck responds, "I was blowing bubbles."
Alright, now the judge is ruffled. He gives the group another try and says to the third duck,
"Lemme guess, you were just blowing bubbles too, right?"
The third duck smiles and replies, "No, I am Bubbles."
A Blonde A Brunette and A Redhead trespassed onto a farm
later a farmer came to chase them out so they all went hiding in the barnyard. The redhead hid with the pigs and said "oink" "oink", the brunette hid with the cows and said "moo" moo", and the blonde hid under a potato sack and said "potato" potato"
The warning sign
There was a watermelon plantation which had been constantly spoiled by night thieves who were trespassing to steal melons. The owner came with an idea to repel the intruders: he put a warning sign on the plantation's fence: "Beware! Steal on your own risk! One melon below this fence is poisoned!"
The next day, there were no more missing melons and a short text added on the warning sign: "Now there are two".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hugga-Bugga
Three African explorers are captured by a tribe of savages, and are brought before the chief.
"You have trespassed on our land," says the chief. "Your choice is death, or hugga-bugga."
The first explorer thinks about it, and chooses hugga-bugga. The savages then bend him over a tree stump, and the chief gives him a good a**...-f**.... They let him go, and he stumbles off.
The second explorer is given the same option. "I don't want to die," he thinks, "and that didn't look so bad." So he chooses hugga-bugga. This time they bend him over the tree stump, and after the chief is done, all of his top hunters have a go. They let him go, and he hobbles off.
The third explorer is horrified, and sees that it keeps getting worse, so when he is asked, he chooses death.
"So be it," the chief says, "Death, by hugga-bugga."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is captured by a tribe in New-Guinea
He is brought before the chief. The Chief, surrounded by the entire tribe, looks down and says to him.
Chief: "You have trespassed on our land, you have two choices, death, or **Bubbaluba**."
Man: "Bubbaluba doesn't sound so bad, what is it?"
A tribesman went up to the man and whispered in his ear. The man's expression quickly turned into one of horror.
"Death! I choose death! Anything but Bubbaluba!"
The Chief sat up and and cried to the crowd.
"DEATH! DEATH! DEATH BY BUBBALUBA!"
I gave 3 berries to my friend in a trail and got shot immediately...
The sign never said they would shoot for trespassing!
Why the Mexicans didn't care about the no trespassing sign?
Because they were coming Juan by Juan
So me and my pal George went down the river to get some firewood when an angry bear began to charge!
George explained we weren't Packers fans, so the property owner didn't charge us for trespassing.
eeny, meeny, kanye, flo
you come to a fork in the road. the path to the left sports a sign guaranteeing a gruesome end to all trespassers. the one to the right looks clear, except for a skinny guy with a hat who freestyles rhyming insults at you. do you risk certain doom… or chance the rapper?
Our neighbour is renowned for abductions.
There's a sign outside his house. It says: "Trespassing Permitted."
What did the Gourmet Chef say to the local teenagers trespassing on his property?
Hey! Stay out of Maillard!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A trespasser was caught with his pants down at the Louvre, h**... the Venus de Milo
He was charged with statuary r**...
What did Patrick Stewart say when the clone he created to deal with trespassing Trekkies mistook him for a fan and threw him out?
Hoisted by my own Picard
Why was the orange-colored metal police officer found not guilty of trespassing inside the world largest dime?
Everyone knew that copper was in a cent.
If a group of four people walked onto private property without permission, would it be trespassing...
...or would it be cuatropassing?
A land owner has caught a trespasser on his land.
"Didn't you see my sign that said, Private. Trespassers will be prosecuted?"
"Well, it's like this. I saw the sign, but when I read 'Private', I didn't read any further 'cause I thought it wasn't any of my business."
\-- Modern adaptation of a joke from a 1913 newspaper.
