Tree Stump Jokes
40 tree stump jokes and hilarious tree stump puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tree stump that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tree Stump Short Jokes
Short tree stump jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tree stump humour may include short leg stump jokes also.
- If you chop a tree down in the middle of the forest, but the tree doesn't understand why you chopped it down Do you think it's stumped?
- Why did you cut me down, lumberjack? Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why?
Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped. - Two trees got arrested today. How they caught them still stumps me but I hear they were doing some shady business.
- A tree is cut down... When the lead detective arrives, he asks the tree, "do you have any idea who did this to you?"
The tree replied, "I have no idea. I'm stumped." - Trees and the lumberjack So one day as a tree was talking he got cut down by the lumberjack! After the tree got cut down the tree said "well I feel stumped!"
- A tree fell over in front of my car while driving in the country. It stumped me right in my tracks.
- Why did the blonde h**... show up with part of a tree? Because the guy said he had a stump f**....
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Tree Stump One Liners
Which tree stump one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tree stump? I can suggest the ones about tree trunk and tree stand.
- I can't come up with any jokes about cutting down trees. I'm stumped.
- Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle? He was stumped.
- Why couldn't the cut down tree answer a riddle? It was stumped.
- Why are riddles about trees so hard? Because they always leave you stumped!
- Why do trees make bad detectives? They always get stumped!
- What do trees say when they get cut down? I'm stumped.
- What do you call a tree that's stuck on a math problem? Stumped.
- What kind of math involves trees? The ones that stump you
- What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next? He gets stumped.
- Limbless man found stuck inside fallen tree Police are stumped
- Why didn't the tree stump go to parties? Because he was a big stick in the mud.
- How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know I got stumped.
- What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pear.
- How did the doctor know the felled tree had diabetes? All that was left was a stump.
Tree Stump Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tree stump you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean yard stick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tree stump pranks.
A man is walking through a forest and sees a huge hole
The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.
He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.
He throws in a big stick; still no sound
He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothing
Suddenly, a dog comes running by and jumps straight into the hole at alarming speed.
The man stares into the hole, dumbfounded, when another man walks by and asks "have you seen my dog?"
"Yeah" he replies, "he just jumped in this hole"
"That's funny" the other man replies, "I had him tied to a tree stump"
Hated the view from my yard because of the tree...
So I called a tree guy to take it down. I asked him to remove the stump, and he said "Oh I can't, you have to call a stump guy."
So I call the stump guy, he takes out the stump, and I say "Aren't you gonna fill the hole?"
He said "Oh, no, you'll have to call a landscaper for that.
So I call the landscaper, and I'm in a rush for my flight and I tell him "Just make it look pretty."
I come back from vacation, and he's planted a tree.
For all of those Philosophy Majors out there
Philosophy Joke:
If an argument concludes a tree fall without human interaction in a forest for a stump to be made, and there are no lumberjack's in the forest to hear it, does it make it sound?
i found a talking tree
i woke up one day and i heard a crying voice, i followed it and i found the source to be from a cut down tree
i said: "hello?"
the tree said crying: "what do you want?"
i asked: "you can talk?"
the tree answered: "yeah I'm a rare variant, now you answer my question: who cut me in half?"
i replied: "i don't know."
the tree said: "i don't know too, i'm stumped"
Hugga-Bugga
Three African explorers are captured by a tribe of savages, and are brought before the chief.
"You have trespassed on our land," says the chief. "Your choice is death, or hugga-bugga."
The first explorer thinks about it, and chooses hugga-bugga. The savages then bend him over a tree stump, and the chief gives him a good a**...-f**.... They let him go, and he stumbles off.
The second explorer is given the same option. "I don't want to die," he thinks, "and that didn't look so bad." So he chooses hugga-bugga. This time they bend him over the tree stump, and after the chief is done, all of his top hunters have a go. They let him go, and he hobbles off.
The third explorer is horrified, and sees that it keeps getting worse, so when he is asked, he chooses death.
"So be it," the chief says, "Death, by hugga-bugga."