treatments Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious treatments puns

Lice have become resistant to most conventional treatments.

Scientists are scratching their heads.


The woman of my dreams

40 years ago, I asked the woman of my dreams out on a first date.

35 years ago, I asked her to marry me.

30 years ago, I asked if she would do me the honor of bearing our first child.

5 years ago, I asked her to hold my hand during her chemotherapy treatments.

And last night, on her deathbed as she suffered and clung to life with the help of a machine, I asked with tears in my eyes if she wanted me to pull her plug and say goodbye one more time.

But the stubborn bitch said "no" every single time.


I hear the woman who gave her toddler Botox treatments lost custody because of it.

Her daughter didn't look surprised.


A man has 3 women before him that want to be his wife,

So he gives each of them $5,000, and tells them to do whatever they want with it. "What you choose to do shall determine which one of you I marry" he says.

The first woman takes all of her $5,000 and spends it all on clothing, jewelry, lavish spa treatments and the like.

The second woman gives all $5,000 back to her male suitor and says "I don't need money as long as I have you."

The third woman takes her share, invests it in a lucrative series of stock portfolios, and hands him $5,000 in interest in two weeks' time.

In the end, after careful consideration, he married the one with the biggest tits.


Headlice are now resistant to the usual medical treatments....

The problem has scientists scratching their heads.


Anal bleaching

Two women are discussing beauty treatments, one says 'I've been thinking of getting my arsehole bleached.'

Her friend replies, 'I'm not sure blonde would suit him.'


Request for a months worth of jokes for a cancer patient.

A friend of mine will be in the hospital for a month because of her cancer treatments. We are telling her jokes to cheer her up and were hoping you could help, Thanks.


It's a good thing Breaking Bad wasn't made in England.

A show about a school teacher going to NHS for cancer treatments would suck.


10 unbelievable therapy treatments!

Number 5 will shock you.


Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments?

She was told they would stop the "German nation"


A guy goes to see his doctor about his headaches

They have tried several treatments, and none have worked.

The doctor says, "This sounds crazy, but I used to have headaches like yours. One night I was with my wife, and I went down on her. She squeezed my head really hard with her thighs, and my headache went away. It works every time."

The guy says, "At this point, I'll try anything."

A couple of weeks later, the guy stops by the doctor's office, "Doc, I don't know how to thank you. I took your advice, and you were right, as soon as she squeezed my head with her thighs, my headache was gone. The headache has come back a few times, but I do the thing, get squeezed, and it's gone. It's a miracle."

The doctor says, "Well, I'm glad I could help."

The guy says, "Well, thanks again, Oh, and by the way, you have a beautiful home."


I've been undergoing stem cell treatments for over 3 years

That's what I call jerking off in my mouth


Back Pain

Doctor:theres revolutionary treatments for your back pain

Person: can you just remove it completely?

Doctor: excuse me what?

Person: Remove my spine, its holding me back


Bad doctors

Patients believe that a bad doctor is the one whose treatments differ from what is written in the Internet.


What are the most funny Treatments jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Treatments? Well, here are the best Treatments dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Treatments pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes