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Treat Jokes

168 treat jokes and hilarious treat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about treat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article offers readers a light-hearted take on the traditional Halloween Trick-or-Treat custom; ranging from silly jokes about dog treats, rice krispie treats, treating untreatables, and treating others courteously. Get ready to have a laugh while learning the importance of treating all with respect.

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Funniest Treat Short Jokes

Short treat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The treat humour may include short behave jokes also.

  1. Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, and name it ElonGates.
  2. My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
  3. My wife asked me, Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating? So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
  4. My Daughter asked me "dad, why don't you treat me like a princess." So I married her off to the king of Spain in exchange for 5000 acres on the Costa del Sol.
  5. I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"
  6. My girlfriend treats me like God She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
  7. My daughter told me I should treat her like a princess So I married her off to a stranger in order to secure an alliance with the French.
  8. My ex divorced me because she said I treated her like a maid. But even the judge agreed that she should keep the house.
  9. My girlfriend told me that she wanted to be treated like a princess... So I married her off to a stranger twice her age to strengthen my alliance with France
  10. My wife left me for an Indian guy It's okay, I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows

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Treat One Liners

Which treat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with treat? I can suggest the ones about cure and heal.

  1. What type of doctor treats transgender men? A guynowcologist.
  2. People treat me like a god They ignore my existence unless they need something
  3. My parents treat me like a god. They dont believe in me.
  4. Feminists just want to be treated equally To the pretty ones.
  5. I treat women like I do numbers.... If they're under 16, do them in your head.
  6. My girlfriend says I treat her like an object. I don't know why it keeps saying that.
  7. My girlfriend treats me like a god Now if I can only get her to stop being an atheist.
  8. Girls treat me like God They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.
  9. Never treat a woman like an object... It hates that.
  10. My family treats me like a god They only talk to me when they want something.
  11. I'm not a racist. I treat every race equally Even the bad ones
  12. Women treat me like God. My existence is ignored except for when they need something.
  13. What do you call a veterinarian who can only treat one species? A Doctor.
  14. At home, they treat me like God. I'm generally ignored until someone wants something.
  15. My wife treats me like God, she ignores me until she wants something

Trick Treat Jokes

Here is a list of funny trick treat jokes and even better trick treat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the skeleton not go trick-or-treating? He had no body to go with
  • My son said he'd trick or treat with me but at the last minute didn't show. Ghosted.
  • Why don't ghosts go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with them
  • Last night a kid came "trick or treating" at my place dressed as Gloria Gaynor. At first I was afraid.
  • Trick or treat.. Smell my feet, give me something good to eat.
    If you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear.
    And that's why I was arrested, Your Honor.
  • Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? They don't have any body to go out with
  • Why doesn't anyone trick or treat at Susan Rice's House? Because she unmasks them all.
  • When do muslims go trick or treating? Allahween
  • A kid came to my door last night for trick-or-treat dressed as a pirate... I asked him, "where are your buckaneers?"
    He replied, "on the side of my buck'en head."
  • Why dont skeletons go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with

Trick Or Treat Jokes

Here is a list of funny trick or treat jokes and even better trick or treat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the ghost go trick or treating on the top floor? He was in High Spirit
  • It hit me as I was taking my kids trick or treating tonight...... I'm lucky it was just a golfcart
  • Going to go trick or treating tonight. Gonna dress up in all red and when people answer the knok, i tell them that im a period, and im sorry im late.
  • I feel like putting on a shirt with a huge dot and going trick or treating the day after Halloween to scare people. Cause then I'd be a late period.
  • Wear all red and go Trick or Treating /tomorrow/. Tell them you're their period and you're sorry for being late!
  • I went downtown and apparently today the shops do trick-or-treating.
  • I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
    It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
  • A white friend, a Mexican friend, and I go trick or treating... My white friend is Donald Trump, I'm a wall, and my Mexican friend is on the other side.
  • "Trick or Treat" refers to Halloween... ...but it also describes potential outcomes of taking an attractive Bangkok waitress back to your hotel room.
  • Trick or treat? If that's the case then call me John!
Treat joke, Trick or treat?

Dog Treat Jokes

Here is a list of funny dog treat jokes and even better dog treat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Women say all men are dogs but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
  • "You treat me like a dog," said my wife.... "We need to sit and talk about it right now," she continued.
    "Ok," I replied, "but not on the sofa."
  • I treat my family like dogs. With financial support and unconditional love.
  • The inventor of dog treats died earlier today... He was a good boy, yes he was...
  • "You never talk to me anymore, you treat me like I'm a dog barking" "Oh, you were talking? I thought a dog was barking."
  • No matter how good you treat your dog They will always say they have it ruff
  • The problem with politics today... Republicans treat people like dogs
    and
    Democrats treat dogs like people
  • A co worker accuses a wife of treating her husband "like a dog" The wife was a not a native English speaker. So she responded "That is not true! I love dogs!"
  • My parents treat their puppers and kittys like they rule the home. I guess they're reigning cats and dogs.
  • "My girlfriend treats me like a dog." Said a man. "How?" Asks his friend.
    "She wants me to be loyal."

Halloween Trick Or Treat Jokes

Here is a list of funny halloween trick or treat jokes and even better halloween trick or treat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How come you're responsible if you do your taxes in March, but I'm crazy when I do my trick-or-treating in September?
  • When is the best time to go trick-or-treating? On Halloween
  • My anti-vax sister wouldn't let me take my niece trick-or-treating, even though she had the perfect Halloween costume. s**... cemetery rules.
Treat joke, My anti-vax sister wouldn't let me take my niece trick-or-treating, even though she had the perfect

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about treat can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of treat puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Humorous Treat Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about treat you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean handle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make treat prank.

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist...

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent e**.... It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.

A Halloween joke for you.

Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."

If you have never seen Man Vs Wild,

then u**... for a treat.

Cough Medicine

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Like a princess

A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says "I'm going to treat you like a princess".
So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall.

A Sunday School Teacher . . .

A Sunday School Teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated...

Now I`m facing s**... harassment charges.

My dad always told me to treat women like flowers.

So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me.

c**... advice

The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He asks the clerk:
"What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him a bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist said:
"You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The clerk responded, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough!

My girlfriend said I treat her like a little girl.

So, I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself.

A midget goes to the doctor

and exclaims "doctor! doctor! can you treat me??"
Doctor says: "yes, you just have to be a little patient."

How should a doctor treat a patient with Mesothelioma?

Asbestos he can.

What is a cannibal's favourite treat?

A kid kat.
(My 9 year old son made this up.)

My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly.

"Which one?" I replied, "Chris Jr, or the girl one?"

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks

A dwarf that loves to joke goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks.
I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework"

"Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?"
"No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing..."

Single? Give your s**... partner a Valentine's Day treat by having a manicure.

Girlfriend said last night "You treat our relationship like some kind of game!"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points,a bonus chance and she has to wear the hat that looks like a colander til she rolls a double 6.

Vets aren't doctors:

Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor?
Vet: I treat horses but maybe I can help?
Mom: My son broke his leg!
Vet: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck.

The wife

My wife has left me because she says I treat her like one of my pets...
She'll be back when she's hungry.

How do you treat Mrs. Potato Head when she has cancer?

Ampu-tater

A guy walks into a drugstore and sees a guy leaning heavily against the wall

He asks the clerk, 'What's with that guy?'
Clerk says, 'He came in with a bad cough and asked me for cough medicine. We were out of cough medicine, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative instead.'
The guy says, 'What?! You can't treat a cough with laxative!'
The clerk replies, 'Of course you can! Look at him. He's afraid to cough!'

My daughter told me to treat her like a princess...

so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France.

When my girlfriend and I do role play s**... she insists that I treat here like a 12 year old...

I don't know why she insists on it so heavily... I mean she will be 12 in just a couple of years!

My Wife told me to treat her like a princess

So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel

My father wants me to treat him like a king

So I stabbed him while he was sleeping. The succession line has to go on, dad.

My girlfriend wants me to take her to Paris, and treat her like a princess

The only thing is, I don't know which to pick: the guillotine or the Mercedes.

My wife and I walked past a fancy restaurant

She said "Ohh , something smells nice"
So I decided to treat her - I let her walk past it a second time.

I treat my women like I treat my super cars

I enjoy them a lot and they only exist in my dreams

A man takes his wife out to dinner

A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, "I want you to treat me like a princess." The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall.

My wife always tells me that I treat my kid unfair. I don't even know which one she means.

Thomas, Carl or the fat and ugly one?

How does a feminist ask for Halloween candies?

Trigger Treat.

The way to treat women is always in your heart.

Beat beat beat.

People treat me like a god...

They don't talk to me unless they want something.

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess.

So I gave her to a gorilla for him to throw barrels at me.

My girl left me for a Hindu guy.

It's okay thought, he'll treat her better. They worship cows.

Everyone treats me like God

They don't pay any attention to me or what I ask of them unless they want something.

Weeaboos are the opposite of the patriarchy.

Because instead of treating women like objects, they treat objects like women.

Everybody should be treated equally

It doesn't matter if you're black, yellow or normal.

United Airlines will treat you like a King!

Rodney King, that is.

Girl, imma treat you like I treat my pinky toe

I'm going to bang you on all the furniture all night long

I decided to try the ancient Chinese practice of using needles to get rid of back pain…

The h**... worked a treat for me.

My parents treat me like a god

they forget I exist until they want me to do something for them

An inspector, making his rounds, inspects an elementary school.

One teacher says to her class, "Treat him like you would the President of the United States." Sure enough, later that day, the inspector walks in to see how the lesson is doing. Just then, one of the students gets up, stomps over to the inspector, punches him in the gut, nicks his phone, and hides behind a curtain.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" shouts the teacher.
The kid says, "Deleting Twitter."

Iodine wanted to bond with Uranium...

But Uranium wanted to bond with Helium ; helium was noble and didn't want to bond with Uranium. When Iodine found out about this, he said.....
"I know I can treat U better than He can..."

Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god...

...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.

My girlfriend said to treat her like a princess

So I forced her into a marriage with a man she'd never met so that I could make an alliance with Poland.

How you treat the wait staff on a first date

Someone once told me that the way someone treats the wait staff on a first date is how they'll treat their significant other in six months.
So now when I'm on a first date, I have s**... with the waitress.

Racism is so s**....

You shouldn't treat someone differently just because they're from an inferior race.

How do you treat a sunburn in Hawaii?

With Aloe-ha Vera!

This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date

So after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents' house

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of b**... fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, u**... for a treat!

A woman, tired of living alone, decides to put an ad in the local paper.

She asks for three things:
1. A man who will treat her nicely,
2. A man who won't leave her, and
3. A man who is good in bed.
Several weeks go buy without a result, and the woman is resigned to life without a man who can embody those qualities. Then, the doorbell rings and she opens it to find an armless, legless man in a wheelchair. He says, "I'm here about the ad in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms, so I can't beat you, and I have no legs, so I can't run away from you." The woman is skeptical, and asks, "Yeah, but are you good in bed?" The man answers, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

I want to treat the roads with sugar instead of salt

This way, you know... Everyone can have a sweet ride

A Walmart pharmacist walks in to relieve her co-worker and sees a man leaning against the shelves.

She asks her co-worker , "What's with that guy over there leaning against the shelves?" He says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. We're out of cough syrup, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative."
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

My doctor got sick so I grabbed his medical bag, but he refused to let me treat him

He did not like the taste of his own medicine

Programmers are so sexist...

They treat their dates as objects.

I cut off the end of my foot but the Doctor wouldn't treat me.

Turns out he was lack toes intolerant.

I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow...

I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.

Olive Garden really does treat you like family...

My waiter left to go buy a pack cigarettes, and he still hasn't come back yet. 😢

My girlfriend yelled at me because I apparently treat her like a child.

So I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself.

You ever read a girl's status and wished someone would just treat her right

So she'd just s**...

A woman was at the supermarket

A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."

Women treat me like I'm God.

They act like I'm non-existent and only talk to me when they need something from me.

Me: Girlll! Im going to treat you like I treat my homework!

Girl: And how might that be?
Me: I'm going to slam you on the desk and do you all night long

My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance

Treat joke, My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"

jokes about treat

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these treat jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.