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Travel Jokes

157 travel jokes and hilarious travel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about travel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

With a wide selection of travel jokes about travel agents to travel nightmares, this article will be sure to bring a smile to your face. Whether you're a travel nurse, interested in travel related topics, or just looking for a laugh, this compilation of travel jokes has it all. From travel insurance to travel trailers, Aang to Righ, and cities to countries, you'll find a joke for any travel related topic you can think of.

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Funniest Travel Short Jokes

Short travel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The travel humour may include short trip jokes also.

  1. If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
    This is not a political post, I just want to travel
  2. My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
  3. My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver
  4. If light travels faster than the speed of sound... how come I can hear the guy in the bmw behind me honk before the light turns green?
  5. A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips... "Are you the friar?" he asked.
    The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
  6. If Biden is elected, I'm leaving the country If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.
    This is not a political post. I just want to travel.
  7. Why did the non-binary prospector travel West in 1849? Because there's gold in them/their hills
  8. The bartender says "No time travelers allowed in this bar" Two time travelers walk into a bar
  9. If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel
  10. A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
    tourist: Russian.
    Border guard: Occupation?
    Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time.

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Travel One Liners

Which travel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with travel? I can suggest the ones about flight and venture.

  1. How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane
  2. Why do teenagers always travel in groups of 3, 5, or 7? Because they can't even.
  3. Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
  4. The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.
  5. What did the Egyptians use to travel to the Underworld? A new bus.
  6. Because the punchline gets spoiled early. Why is this time travel joke not funny?
  7. I wanted to make a joke about time travel... ...but you guys didn't like it.
  8. I was going to tell you all a joke about time travel. Unfortunately none of you liked it.
  9. Light travels faster than sound! That's why some people appear bright until they talk.
  10. If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title.
  11. Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even.
  12. So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it.
  13. The barman said "we don't serve time travelers here" I walk into a bar.
  14. Iran bans Americans from traveling there. Won't beheading there anymore
  15. and asks for a drink. A time traveller walks into a bar

Time Travel Jokes

Here is a list of funny time travel jokes and even better time travel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The punchline comes before the joke You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?
  • You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke. What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?
  • The barman says, We don't serve time travelers in here. A time traveler walks into a bar.
  • Time traveller walks into a bar Bartender says, we don't serve time travellers here.
    Time traveller responds, since when?
  • With the punchline first. How did the time traveler tell his jokes?
    (I'm sorry, it was just so easy!)
  • Muslim scientists.. Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
    They're calling it 'Islam'.
  • The punchline comes first. How can you be sure that a comedian has traveled back in time?
  • The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite So he went back four seconds.
  • ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
  • What does a time traveler do when he's hungry? He goes back 4 seconds.

Travel Agent Jokes

Here is a list of funny travel agent jokes and even better travel agent puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A photon is going through airport security... The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.
    The photon says, No, I'm traveling light.
  • A time traveler has traveled back in time to the year 1963. However, he does not know the exact date.
    He sees a CIA agent nearby and asks him:
    "Is today before or after the JF-"
    "Before"
  • A time traveler went back in time and saw a CIA agent Time traveler: What year is it?
    CIA Agent: 1963
    Time traveler: Before or after JFK wa...
    CIA Agent: Before
  • A photon went on holiday. When checking in at the airport...
    Check In agent. "Do you have any luggage sir?"
    Photon. "No, I'm travelling light"
  • Leon Trotsky asks a travel agent if they have any hotel rooms in Mexico. The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.
  • A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?'
    Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'
  • What did the librarian say to the travel agent? Find what you're booking for?
Travel joke, What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Travel Expenses Jokes

Here is a list of funny travel expenses jokes and even better travel expenses puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • - I like to travel in first - But is expensive, is not?
    - Yes, I have already broken three cars!!
    European joke...
  • This travelling to different countries to watch Suits is getting real expensive! Netflix US.
  • Why was it expensive for ghosts to travel abroad? There was a heavy customs duty on spirits of every kind.

Air Travel Jokes

Here is a list of funny air travel jokes and even better air travel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It's not true that air travel has become a circus. Circuses may feature the same level of animal cruelty, sadness and clowns as air travel, but circuses actually start on time.
  • A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs. I think he might be a Thyme traveller.
  • Vaccines are a gateway drug. To concerts and air travel.
  • Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland? Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.
  • Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
  • What do you call it when Michael J Fox travels by air? Shakes on a Plane.
  • How to Jews travel? By air.

Travel Nightmare Jokes

Here is a list of funny travel nightmare jokes and even better travel nightmare puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • As a dyslexic, travel can be a nightmare Sorry, wrong bus.
Travel joke, As a dyslexic, travel can be a nightmare

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about travel can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of travel puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Rib-Tickling Travel Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about travel you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean tour jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make travel prank.

Wrong Email

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's f**.... He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Travelling Tip

Here's a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it's loud and you can't turn it down.
I leave the number of the room next to me.
It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell,
"Why are you calling me?"
Then you get up and take a shower. It's great.

A husband and a wife were searching for a hotel near the ocean...

The travel agency hooked them up with a four star hotel for a great price, and they decided to go with it. The agency described the hotel as 'a stone's throw from the beach'. "How will we know which one it is?" the wife asked. "Simple", the agency replied; "It's the one with all the broken windows."

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.
According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

There was a business man that used to travel a lot

But every time he went to the airport, he got sick right away.
When he visited his doctor, the doc said "Its nothing serious. You're just terminally ill".

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

An Arab student e-mails his dad

Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.


The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:

My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad

What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

This and That are both on summer break.

That is heading to Florida. This has plans to travel somewhere, but he won't give me the details.
i have no idea where this is going

I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit"

...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."

If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving,

If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.
This has nothing to do with politics.
I just really want to travel.

Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun)

It was worth every Penne.

what travels around the world but stays in one corner?

postage stamp

Yes, it is.

Is time travel possible?

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.
This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political joke, I just really wanna travel.

Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia?

It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket.

How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD?

It took the bus.

I was once addicted to time travel

But that's all in the past now

Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7?

Because they literally can't even.

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...

The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..

Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

What distance does light travel on a diet?

Lite years.

Did he travel with Scandinavian Airlines?

No, he simply vanished into Finnair

What happened when the clown-fish tried to fast travel?

You cannot fast travel when anemone is nearby.

"What do we want!?" "TIME TRAVEL!!"

"When do we want it?!"
"IT'S IRRELEVANT!"

A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of m**...

A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of m**.... He argued that there was no way he could have done it, as he was in vacation in Prague for the week of the killing. The FBI took note of his travel records and let him go; his alibi czeched out.

How do dictators travel on the sea?

In dictatorships.

A German is traveling to France

A German is traveling to France and is going through passport control. The agent asks the German, Reason for travel?
For work, replies the German.
Occupation? asks the agent.
No, I'll just be here a few days.

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...
I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

How do flat-earthers travel?

on a plane...

How fast does light travel?

I don't know. But it gets here too early in the morning.

Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress

As they lack a heart, mind, and courage

Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States

In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

The job of your dreams

Do you want to drive a vehicle worth $100,000?
Do you want a corner office with windows?
Do you love to travel?
If so, then become a bus driver!

I met my wife in a travel agency.

She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.

I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.

They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.

A German in France

A German is traveling to France and is going through passport control. The agent asks the German "reason for travel ?"
"For work", replies the German.
Occupation ? Asks the agent.
"Not this time"

I feel like there should be a travel book for India called

A definitive guide to India: The Hindus and the Hindont's

Aliens and Humans

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?
Human: we are an advanced species
A: how do you travel?
H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

A Native American tribe are looking for buffalo to hunt.

As they travel along, one member puts his ear to the ground for a moment and then says: Buffalo come.
The chief asks How can you tell?
The man replies Sticky ear.

A woman asked her husband what do you want me to bring for you when i come back from Russia?

The husband said: I've heard that Russian girls are very pretty, bring one of them for me.
After few weeks, the woman comes back from her travel, her husband asks her: where's the girl?
She responds with: you'll have to wait 9 month for her to arrive

People say that there is always one wierd person on the bus, but I don't get it.

I travel by bus everyday and I never see any wierd people. Everyone looks normal. It doesn't matter how long I stare at them.

Why do teenagers travel in groups of 1,3,5 or 7?

Because they literally can't even.

If I travelled back in time 100 years and went around calling everyone "gay"...

They'd all be happy

This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.

Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.

I've traveled the world and met people from many countries.

From my experience, American kids are some of the nicest, but German children are kinder

Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?

Because they can't even.

Why can cutlery teleport but not time travel?

It's silverwhere, not silverwhen.

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to h**...? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."

An Arab student emails his dad:

*An Arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.


*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*

My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad

I invented time travel and killed my grandfather to see if I wouldn't be born

It's the worst way to get to know I'm adopted..

Why do sorority girls always travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

I was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel...

...but you didn't like it.

Why do red tsunamis travel so far?

longer wavelength

This is the first year I'm not going to travel because of covid

Normally it's because I'm poor

A couple had been married for 35 years,

the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and BOOM! The wife had the tickets in her hand.Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than I." The fairy godmother picked up her wand and BOOM! He was now 90.

I had a great time travel joke to tell you guys.

But it turned out that none of you liked it.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a n**... woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said Don't you see? You'll never get close enough to actually reach her. The engineer replied, So? I'll be close enough for all practical purposes.

Three men on a bike

Three men were travelling on the same bike when they were caught by a policeman.
"Don't you know it's i**... for more than 2 people to travel on a bike? Why are there three of you?"
"Three?! s**..., where's James?!"

Due to travel restrictions this year...

United States had to organize coups at home

With the massive downturn in international travel, aircraft manufacturer Fokker has started developing planes for the military. Their latest is a small, super stealthy reconnaissance plane that is almost undetectable!

It's called the Sneaky Little Fokker.

Two guys chatting at the bar....

One says, "I committed an embarrassing faux pas this morning. Went to the travel agency to buy some plane tickets. The young girl had the most spectacular b**... and I accidentally asked for two plane-t**..." His mate replies, "Oh yes. I did the exact same thing this morning. Went to ask my wife to pass the corn-flakes and accidentally said, "You fat cow, you've totally ruined my life"'

Why do koi fish always travel in groups of 4?

So the A koi, the B koi, and the C koi can escape, because they know the predator will always go after the D koi.

I have a joke on time travel.

But I won't post it here. You guys didn't like it.

Travel joke, I have a joke on time travel.

jokes about travel

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these travel jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.