Travelling Speed Jokes
45 travelling speed jokes and hilarious travelling speed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about travelling speed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Travelling Speed Short Jokes
Short travelling speed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The travelling speed humour may include short travels faster jokes also.
- If light travels faster than the speed of sound... how come I can hear the guy in the bmw behind me honk before the light turns green?
- "Did you know that a sneeze travels 100mph?" "Yes, but that wasn't what triggered the speed camera," replied the police officer.
- A photon was traveling along a highway at the speed of light. The BMW driver on its tail was furious that they couldn't pass it.
- Since light supposedly travels faster than the speed of sound..... Why can I hear the BMW driver behind me honk before the light turns green?
- If light travels faster than the speed of sound… Why do I hear the car behind me honking before the light turns green?
- A cop pulled me over for speeding.. "Sir, you were going easy too fast! Didn't you read the speed signs?"
"No, they're really hard to read when I'm traveling at 200mph" - How do space travelers stay awake on the long journeys across the galaxy? Do some light speed.
- "According to relativity, time itself travels at the speed of light, but along the imaginary axis." "i c"
- I asked a scientist how close humanity is to speed-of-light travel "We're relatively far off."
- I was wondering why a bus was travelling towards me at a high speed. Then it hit me like a bus.
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Travelling Speed One Liners
Which travelling speed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with travelling speed? I can suggest the ones about reaching speeds and reach speeds.
- YOU MATTER! Unless you're travelling with the speed of light, in which case YOU ENERGY!
- I guess that people that got whiplash... Were travelling at "breakneck" speed!
- Why do politicians words travel at the speed of light? Because they don't matter!
- Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness. - We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
- I was travelling at light speed... Then I got C sickness. c=9×10^8 m/s
- What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light? Does it matter?
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed.
- It should be possible to travel at light speed light does it all the time
- Why don't photons ever get pulled over? They always travel the speed limit
- I can travel at the speed of light. I just don't want to.
- When does a van become a can? when it travels at the speed of light, i.e v=c..
Cheerful Fun Travelling Speed Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about travelling speed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speed limit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make travelling speed pranks.
The sons of Superman, Flash and John are chatting...
Superman's sons says, "my dad travels the fastest, he doesnt care about traffic and returns home from work in a matter of minutes."
Flash's son says, "Nah, dude, my dad travels at the speed of light, the moment he finishes work, he's home."
John's sons says, "Please, my dad's shift ends at 5, he's home watching TV at 4:30 already"
-Neutrino. Knock knock.
\-We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
\-Hipsters liked neutrinos before they arrived.
\-I wrote a speed of light joke...but a neutrino beat me to it.
\-A. To prove particles can travel faster than light Q. Why did the neutrino cross the road?
\-I'm going to tweet my neutrino joke yesterday.
Isn't Freddie Mercury American?
That's why they call him Mr Fahrenheit.
I'm travelling at the speed of light
Einstein said that anything traveling at the speed of light would have infinite mass.
Your mom only travels to the Denny's and back and she's gotten pretty close.
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital.
The weather is terrible.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed.
"Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will c**... if he doesn't slow down!"
A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree.
He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid.
But it's to late.
The biker is already dead.
He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see.
The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!"
He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this.
He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket.
One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off.
The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news.
It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
It was late at night .....
It was late at night and the police were out checking for erratic driving.
They spotted a car travelling alone along the dual carriageway and decided to follow it. The car never exceeded the speed limit, gave all the correct signals as it left the main road and when they reached the town it pulled up correctly at all the traffic lights.
Eventually, the police car overtook the car and flagged it down.
Good evening, Sir, said the policeman.
We felt we had to stop you to congratulate you on your perfect driving skills.
Well, thank you, officer, replied the driver, I always drive very carefully, especially when I've had a bit to drink.
Driver's License Test Question:
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
.
.
.
.
Get off the Merry-Go-Round, you're drunk!
What do you call it when shakespeare travels faster than the speed of sound?
A sonnet boom!
A man travelling on a highway....
....when he nocticee the sign "Speedlimit: 50km". He was kind of surprised but still lowered his speed well below 50km/h. Half an hour later he spotted another sign "Speedlimit: 25km". Frustrated but didn't want any fine, he slowed down to 25km/h. After a while he saw yet another sign "Speedlimit: 3km". Having no other choice he got off the car and push it, cursing Donald Trump while at it for allowing such s**... rules. 2 hours passed, and another sign appeared:
- "Welcome to Speedlimit"
Typical wife behavior
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them.
When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."
The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car."
The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?" She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."
A cop pulls over a man and his wife
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said,
"I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."
The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car."
The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"
She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."