JokoJokes

Traveler Jokes

67 traveler jokes and hilarious traveler puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about traveler that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Traveler Short Jokes

Short traveler jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The traveler humour may include short traveller jokes also.

  1. If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
    This is not a political post, I just want to travel
  2. My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
  3. My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver
  4. If light travels faster than the speed of sound... how come I can hear the guy in the bmw behind me honk before the light turns green?
  5. A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips... "Are you the friar?" he asked.
    The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
  6. If Biden is elected, I'm leaving the country If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.
    This is not a political post. I just want to travel.
  7. Why did the non-binary prospector travel West in 1849? Because there's gold in them/their hills
  8. The bartender says "No time travelers allowed in this bar" Two time travelers walk into a bar
  9. If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel
  10. A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
    tourist: Russian.
    Border guard: Occupation?
    Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time.

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Traveler One Liners

Which traveler one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with traveler? I can suggest the ones about tourist and hitchhiker.

  1. How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane
  2. Why do teenagers always travel in groups of 3, 5, or 7? Because they can't even.
  3. Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
  4. The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.
  5. What did the Egyptians use to travel to the Underworld? A new bus.
  6. Because the punchline gets spoiled early. Why is this time travel joke not funny?
  7. I wanted to make a joke about time travel... ...but you guys didn't like it.
  8. I was going to tell you all a joke about time travel. Unfortunately none of you liked it.
  9. Light travels faster than sound! That's why some people appear bright until they talk.
  10. If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title.
  11. Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even.
  12. So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it.
  13. The barman said "we don't serve time travelers here" I walk into a bar.
  14. Iran bans Americans from traveling there. Won't beheading there anymore
  15. and asks for a drink. A time traveller walks into a bar

Traveler joke, and asks for a drink.

Charming Humor Traveler Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about traveler you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hiker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make traveler pranks.

If you find gold in Australia where should you look for silver?

**Ag**stralia

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop says "can I take your bags?"
"No," she answers, "I'm traveling light."
*(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*

Nerd joke

A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."

After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.
According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

A man goes to see his rabbi...

... "rabbi, I am very troubled. My son, he went off traveling the world, and came back a christian!" The rabbi replies, "you know, it's so strange you say that. My son also left home, and came back a christian!" The two decide to pray to God about this, and God replies, "you know, it's so strange you say that..."

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke.

What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?

Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7?

Because they literally can't even.

A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you?

The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.

He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"




Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to h**...? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."

An Arab student emails his dad:

*An Arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.


*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*

My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
 
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair.
 
And the most British thing of all?
"Suspicious of anything Foreign "

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a n**... woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said Don't you see? You'll never get close enough to actually reach her. The engineer replied, So? I'll be close enough for all practical purposes.

The punchline comes before the joke

You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?

In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.

Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope

My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.

I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, Hey sweetheart, why don't you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby minimizing total distance travelled?
Well don't you know, she loved my suggestion!
It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.

Yuri Gagarin returned from space and Khrushchev asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"

Yuri replied: "Yes."
"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."
Gagarin traveled to Rome and met the Pope, who asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"
Yuri replied: "No."
"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."

Why do koi fish travel in groups of four?

To protect the group from predators. When attacked, kois A, B, and C will go in one direction. The fourth one is the D koi.

I uninstalled Facebook as i got depressed of seeing my friends post their relationship and marriage

I uninstalled LinkedIn as i got depressed of seeing my colleague post their job change and promotion
I uninstalled instagram as i got depressed of seeing my friends travel and enjoy their lives.
But I'll never uninstall reddit because you guys are more miserable than me .

A photon checks into a hotel and the front desk asks "Do you need help with your luggage"?

The photon replies "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

A hitchhiker was travelling through Scotland.

The young man was picked up at the side of the road, the driver noticed he was wearing a hat made out of fox pelt.
Where you heading mate?
auchtermuchty
Hop in. By the way what's with the hat?
Well when I told my uncle where I was going he said where the focks 'at?

I'm traveling in Germany

But I don't like the food.
It really is the wurst!

The bar tender said sorry we don't serve time travelers here …

A time traveler walked into a bar.

How do dumplings like to travel? By “won-tours” around the world!

How does a baby bird like to travel on the spring equinox? By tweet-er plane!

Traveler joke

jokes about traveler