The Best 61 Travel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Travel jokes. There are some travel safest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these travel travel agent puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Travel Jokes and Puns

How does a Flat Earther travel the world?

on a plane

Wrong Email

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Travel joke, Why does light travel faster than sound?

After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.


An Arab student e-mails his dad

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.


The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:


My dear loving son,

Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love,
your Dad

What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

Travel joke, What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

This and That are both on summer break.

That is heading to Florida. This has plans to travel somewhere, but he won't give me the details.

i have no idea where this is going

I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit"

...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."

If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving,

If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.

You can explore travel cities reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean travel traveler dad jokes. There are also travel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country

Not a political post, I just love to travel

Yes, it is.

Is time travel possible?

If I Cuold Time Travel

I would fix the title.

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

Travel joke, If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political joke, I just really wanna travel.

How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD?

It took the bus.

Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7?

Because they literally can't even.


So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys..

But you didn't like it.

ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.

You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.

The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..

Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

"What do we want!?" "TIME TRAVEL!!"

"When do we want it?!"
"IT'S IRRELEVANT!"

How do flat-earthers travel?

on a plane...

Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States

In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China

The job of your dreams

Do you want to drive a vehicle worth $100,000?

Do you want a corner office with windows?

Do you love to travel?

If so, then become a bus driver!

I met my wife in a travel agency.

She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.

I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.

They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.

So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.

A Native American tribe are looking for buffalo to hunt.

As they travel along, one member puts his ear to the ground for a moment and then says: Buffalo come.

The chief asks How can you tell?

The man replies Sticky ear.

A woman asked her husband what do you want me to bring for you when i come back from Russia?

The husband said: I've heard that Russian girls are very pretty, bring one of them for me.

After few weeks, the woman comes back from her travel, her husband asks her: where's the girl?
She responds with: you'll have to wait 9 month for her to arrive

Why do teenagers travel in groups of 1,3,5 or 7?

Because they literally can't even.

If I travelled back in time 100 years and went around calling everyone "gay"...

They'd all be happy

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.

My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.

Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.

My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel

My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver

Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers?

Because they literally can't even.

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

What are you reading, old man? he asks.

I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.

I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.

How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to hell? asks the KGB agent.

I already speak Russian."

If Biden is elected, I'm leaving the country

If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.

This is not a political post. I just want to travel.

An Arab student emails his dad:

*An Arab student emails his dad:*

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.



*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*


My dear loving son,

Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love,
your Dad

I invented time travel and killed my grandfather to see if I wouldn't be born

It's the worst way to get to know I'm adopted..

Why do sorority girls always travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

This is the first year I'm not going to travel because of covid

Normally it's because I'm poor

If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States

If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States

This is not a political post, I just want to travel

I wanted to make a joke about time travel...

...but you guys didn't like it.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said Don't you see? You'll never get close enough to actually reach her. The engineer replied, So? I'll be close enough for all practical purposes.

Three men on a bike

Three men were travelling on the same bike when they were caught by a policeman.
"Don't you know it's illegal for more than 2 people to travel on a bike? Why are there three of you?"

"Three?! Shit, where's James?!"

Due to travel restrictions this year...

United States had to organize coups at home

The punchline comes before the joke

You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?

I used a time machine to travel back in time to Mount Rushmore before it was carved.

Its natural beauty was unpresidented.

I was traveling on business, and the night before I came home I called my wife.

I told her, "When I get home, I want to make love with you so badly!"

She said, "I'm glad to see you've stopped overestimating your abilities."

Why did the non-binary prospector travel West in 1849?

Because there's gold in them/their hills

Why don't pirates travel on mountain roads?

'Scurvy

Holiday vacation

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I hate this time of year. My wife and I can never agree on the holidays," he complains to the bartender. "I want to travel to exotic places and stay in 5-star hotels." "That sounds fun. What does she want to do?" the bartender asks. "She wants to come with me," the guy replies.

Damn

A guy was planning his holiday with his travel agent...

Last year you suggested The Maldives and when I returned my wife was pregnant. The year before that you suggested a safari in Africa and when I returned my wife was pregnant. And before that you suggested Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant. Can you suggest somewhere cheaper this year so that I can take her with me!

A travelling salesman knocks on a door, which is opened by a 12 year old in a bathrobe, holding a cigar and a snifter of cognac

The salesman is shocked, but manages to say, "Excuse me, is your dad home?"

The kid responds, "What the hell do you think?"

My daughter told me she wanted to go on an expensive vacation to Norway to travel inland on a small boat along the narrow water passages with steep cliffs on either side…

I said hmmm… canoe fjord it??

I have a really good time travel joke

... but you guys didn't really like it..

I was going to tell you all a joke about time travel.

Unfortunately none of you liked it.

Why does Tarzan travel by vine?

Because he can't drive a stick.

At the dawn of the Stone Age…

Og the caveman noticed that after a long period of darkness the sun would rise, traverse across the sky and then sink below the horizon.

Then darkness… until the sun would again rise once again, travel across the sky and sink below the horizon.

Again and again. Over and over.

Og wished to give a name to this event.

He thought long and hard. He tried all
sorts of words until his brain hurt and his tongue lolled in his mouth.

He tried every variation of sounds he could think of until he was exhausted.

In the end, utterly exhausted, he just gave up and called it a day.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the travel air travel jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working travel time travel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes